Take a lesson from autumn and let go.

I realized this week that autumn has arrived.  I say I realized it, not because I don’t know how to read a calendar, but because I took a walk with my work crew on Friday at noon in 70 degree weather and later that day left work at 40 degrees in the rain.  Yes, that’s my state Michigan.

I used to think of autumn as marching band and football season.  I spent years, when my kids were in band, sitting in the stands watching high school and college football games.  I loved those day so much!  Now, my kids have outgrown band and then there is covid, so I have zero opportunities to attend local games. I miss the music, the people, and the energetic atmosphere in the football stadium. 

Autumn is a time of turnover, renewal, and change.  From the summer’s lush beauty to the changing leaves that result in mostly naked trees.  There are lessons that we can learn from the changing seasons as nature turns over and prepares to bloom again in the spring. 

Learn to let go of things that do not serve you.  We all want to hang onto our past.  Whether it is happy memories like my marching band days, or a mediocre relationship or unfulfilling job.  We hang on to them because they feel comfortable and safe.  Our brain does not want to face the uncertainty of new thoughts and challenges.  We fear change, so we stay small.  

What if we learn to let go of our past like the trees let go of their leaves?  Would we then be open to self improvement or renewal? 

Allow yourself to examine the ways you are living in your past.  Thoughts of inadequacy held over from childhood will affect your ability to reach goals.  Concentrating on your past mistakes will keep you fearful of stepping up to new challenges. Examine your negative thoughts and choose instead to think in the present and trust yourself to create something better.

Take a lesson from the changes of autumn and let go of things that hold you back.  

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!” – Steve Maraboli

Tell me what you love about autumn and how you plan to let something go.

Can we all just get along?

As a veterinarian who has spent my life helping people and pets, without any concern for their political leanings, it disturbs me how contentious this year has become.  With Covid-19 mandating that we change the way we practice veterinary medicine and the associated unrest in our country, we have been faced with some clients who disagree with our protocols and procedures regarding Covid-19.  This has caused increase cases of verbal and physical abuse being laid at the feet of receptionists, technicians and veterinarians.  There have been people swearing, threatening, throwing things, and destroying property at many of the veterinary hospitals in our area.

Why don’t we all just get along?

Douglas E. Noll, a lawyer and expert mediator, explains that, “Human beings are emotional not rational.  As the conflict develops, we perceive it as a threat, and we may blame, attack, or withdraw.”

The ugly nature of people is just bubbling beneath the surface at any given moment.  We are all capable of lashing out to another person when we feel that things are not going our way. The part of our brain that fears rejection, failure, or isolation, kicks in when we are in conflict.  We want to fight for our opinions to remain relevant and feel heard. 

We must train ourselves to be better.

Most of us had mothers that told us, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”   Our mothers knew that we needed to be reminded to be kind because it did not always come naturally.   Using our prefrontal cortex that allows us to think rationally —  along with some prompting from our mothers — we can overcome our need to react negatively to others.  

Practice compassion for all other humans and allow for differing opinions.  We all want to be free to live our lives as we wish, but freedom requires the ability to differ.  If a client wants to give their view on how you should practice, be open to listening.  Staying calm with compassion is always the best way to keep yourself from being sucked into an argument.  Appreciate differences and remain open minded to others’ views. 

Have realistic expectations that others will not always act kindly towards you and vow to not strike back.  If you understand that most of the people you encounter will be kind, but some will not, you will be prepared to let the bad encounters roll off your back and you can stay out of the mud.

Take care of your team during these difficult times.  Have frequent conversations with fellow veterinarians and your team members so they feel supported.  Associating with others that are experiencing the same situations will allow all to feel understood, supported, and safe.

Humans are emotional and also beautifully unique.  Let’s value our differences and try to get along.

Dr. Julie Cappel

Big Change for Brownie

The past six months have really made me think about, how to think about change.  So many things in our lives have changed in dramatic ways.  Health and economic challenges brought on by a pandemic. political and social unrest, and family and friends unable to get together for fear of an invisible enemy. We have been locked down, masked up, and flooded with upsetting, conflicting information.  Even the way we practice medicine has changed drastically as we work to keep clients out of our buildings and they clamor to get in.  

Change often causes us to feel anxiety and brings up fear of the unknown, but if we work on thinking differently we can train our brain to see change as good.  

Good change such as the change that happened for my daughter’s little dog Brownie.  Brownie is a small three year old French Bulldog that was owned by a woman that was using her for breeding.  She was one of a number of dogs that were kept in a home to produce expensive French Bulldog puppies.  Brownie’s latest litter caused her to experience an emergency C-section and spay, which left her with two puppies to raise and ended her career as a breeder.  That is where her life and my daughter’s life came together. 

My daughter and her husband had been wanting a French Bulldog for awhile and had been debating whether to adopt another dog or try save the massive amount of money that it would require to get a French Bulldog puppy. So when my daughter and son-in-law learned that Brownie’s breeder wanted to re-home her, they immediately saw the situation as the answer to their financial dilemma.  

Brownie’s life was about to change forever.  She went from raising puppies to being adopted by my daughter and son-in-law and becoming their puppy - the apple of their eye.  She went from being called “Brownie”, to her new name, “Carmela Soprano”.  She is the queen of her Dallas Texas household and new little sister to their eight year old cat Stallone.  She has a small flight of stairs to help her to her faux fur blanket on the couch, a basket full of amazing toys, a pretty in pink collar and matching glow in the dark leash, and a “pooch pouch” carrier so she can be carried when she gets tired on her walks.  Carmela won the doggy lottery.  

For Brownie the change and transformation into Carmela was amazing to see, but because she is a dog, she really does not realize that she experienced great change.  She is happy to be cared for and loved no matter how much change she has seen.   We all experience changes that are not always positive, but we can choose to find some positive lessons in each life change.

Learn a little something from Carmela.  Look for a positive lesson from each change you experience.  Change is often your path to progress. Be true to yourself in all that you face and challenge your mind to enjoy change.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ― Rumi

Pandemic Fatigue

This week I was on vacation from the veterinary hospital.  Vacation from my day job in today’s world does not mean joyous trips to Disney or Florida beaches.  It means the same things that I have been doing for months — minus the driving to the veterinary hospital.  I ride my bike, write blogs, visit family over zoom, coach my clients, record my podcast, and pass time cleaning out closets. I have been doing the same thing for months and I am feeling a bit fatigued by it all.  My brain wants to make plans for travel, attend gatherings, and socialize, but there is no clear path to normalcy during a pandemic. 

Compassion fatigue is familiar to veterinarians — feeling tired and overwhelmed by the constant emotion of empathy that we provide to our clients.  Changes created by Covid-19 have made it even more difficult to create a positive narrative for our work and home life.  We feel feelings of loss for our previous lifestyle. Practicing medicine “curbside” has created new challenges and added to our work fatigue.

So as the days, weeks, and months go by how do we keep from losing ourselves to pandemic fatigue?  

Don’t make any big life changing decisions.  Just because you are feeling fatigued and overwhelmed now, does not mean that you will not love your job again.  Most of us started in veterinary medicine because we love to help people and animals. Now we are missing half of that equation. Remember that the people are still out there in the parking lot.  They need you just as much as they did before and you can be there for them. 

Set some boundaries. At most hospitals now the case loads are skyrocketing.  More people staying home, adopting pets, and being more observant.  That causes them to visit us more often.  Without more bodies in our clinics we are unable to see every case.  Setting a boundary around your time is something you need to do to keep yourself healthy and whole.  Try to remember that it is not your responsibility to see every pet.  Create a boundary for yourself and only see what you can reasonably do in a day.  Take care of yourself first and you will be better equipped to help again tomorrow. 

Cut yourself some slack.  We all have a tendency to think negatively and beat ourselves up for every little thing.  You have the ability to have a bad day, feel a bit sorry for yourself then, move on to better thoughts. Perfectionism hurts you by keeping you in the mindset that someone else can do better or is inherently better.   That kind of thinking is detrimental to your success.  The truth is that there is no perfect answer or outcome.   Allow yourself to see you as perfectly suited for each situation in your life. You are always worthy. 

Going through this pandemic is emotionally and physically exhausting, but if we stay focused on the positive and accept the negative we will fight off the temptation give in to pandemic fatigue.  

Dr. Julie Cappel

Join Me on the Podcast!
The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Is there anything good about pain?

A friend of mine came to me yesterday and asked me about her pain.  She asked what I thought that she should do about the pain that she was having in her hip that was so excruciating it was keeping her from sleeping at night.  What would I do if it were my hip pain?  Go to urgent care, visit an emergency room, schedule an orthopedic appointment possibly weeks in the future, or tough it out and just take some Motrin?

This conversation got me to thinking about pain in general and the amount of pain that the people of this country and even the world are experiencing right now.  The Covid-19 pandemic, political upheaval in many of our cities, and overall fear of the future.  Our beautiful world is falling into so much unrest and pain right now, I wonder if we will ever recover.

Is there anything good about pain?

“Pain is a guarantee that you will be changed.”, says John Maxwell.  

There is no one that is untouched by pain in life.  Our response to painful experiences is what determines how that pain will change and mold us.  Will you cave to the pressure to respond in weakness, or will you rise up and fight for something better?  Will you develop into a better person, or will you slide into bitterness and hate?

Tony Robbins says, “we do things for one of two reasons, to seek pleasure or avoid pain.”  Our pain does not have to be physical, in fact most change in our life is created by emotional pain.  When we experience negative emotion, we are motivated to look inward.  We will be motivated to change more by pain than by any success.  Pain changes our overall perspective.  

We need pain in order to protect ourselves.  It is a warning that something physically or emotionally has gone wrong and we are motivated to change it. Pain changes us for the better or worse.  We can change our attitude, perspective, habits, and principles in order to work for good.

Rather than looking at pain as a punishment, we can choose to see it as a signal that we need to change course ever so slightly to reduce the pain, thus keeping us on a path to betterment and strength.

Pain is just life experience that you may use to become a better human.  Let’s choose better.

Dr. Julie Cappel

 “ Pain nourishes courage. You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” – Mary Tyler Moore

” Sometimes you must hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain, because life’s greatest lessons are learnt through pain.” –Nagato

Join me on the Podcast!  
The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast with Dr. Julie Cappel

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Leading With Fun.

This week, at our hospital, we had our monthly team meeting.  We meet each month in the middle of the day to discuss client service, hospital events, hospital policies, and procedures.  The meetings are usually well attended by the team because we have free lunch, and everyone gets to sit down and relax for couple hours.   At some of the meetings I do team building exercises designed to bring the team closer together and have a little fun.

 

This week it was a photo scavenger hunt with two teams and two cell phone cameras.  We ran around the hospital performing silly tasks and taking photos to try to compete with the other team.  As you can see in the photos, a good time was had by all.

Part of being a good leader is ensuring that your team is allowed, and encouraged, to have fun.  Why do good leaders want a fun workplace?

When team members are having fun, they are less stressed. People that are stressed make more mistakes, take more sick days, and have poorer communication that those that are less stressed. Fun reduces stress.

When team members have fun, they are more engaged in the business.  Engaged employees provide better customer service for your clients and pay more attention to details.

Productivity is also increase when people are having fun.  It may seem like having fun does not lead to work, but the truth is that some fun or relaxation time refreshes us and allows us to feel energized, engaged, and motivated allowing people to get more done.

When work is fun, the business has lower turnover.  People that know that their employer has their back and are allowed to have fun are less likely to look for another job.

How can we create fun for our team?

Watch your employees and observe when they have a good attitude or are having fun.  When you notice, tell them that you love to see them happy and having fun at work.  Participate in the merriment if you can and reward them for their great attitude.

Model a positive outlook them.  When you are the leader you are expected to do better and act better.  Do you enjoy your work?  If it is not obvious that you do, you need to share your feelings more openly with your team. If you as the leader have fun at work, your team will join you.

Allow them to have fun.  It is difficult as a leader to see people that are on the time clock not working, however it is important to allow your team some time to play.  Give them a little space to chat, joke or eat together.  Yesterday I bought my team donuts from the bakery across the street and they all took a minute to eat a donut together.  It takes a few minutes away from their work, however once they eat, they are much happier to get back to work and serve the clients.

Create enjoyment in your workplace.  This is my favorite step when it comes to fun for my team.  I love to create games and funs things for us to do at work.  I have done scavenger hunts, shopping trips, movies, puzzles, auctions, and so many games.  Our current hospital game involves a Barbie doll dressed in a lab coat.  We hide Barbie around the hospital (think - elf on a shelf).  When a team member happens to find her, that team member must write a compliment about another team member and post it in the lunchroom, on the board “Barbie Says”.  Then the team member has to hide her again for the next person to find. 

The last time I saw Barbie she was in a winter coat made of cotton balls and bandage material (because it is winter here in Michigan and she was cold).  

Work and fun are not mutually exclusive.  We can create a more successful work environment by simply creating and allowing a little fun. 

Lead well and have some fun.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” Dale Carnegie

Join me on The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast, where we talk about learning to change your life. Going from stress and burnout, to a life filled with balance and joy!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

5 Ways to Get Over Your Pity Party.

We all have those moments in life where it feels as if we are hit hard and knocked down by our circumstance.   We are cruising along doing pretty well for ourselves and all at once, something happens that takes us down and stops our forward momentum.   We hit a wall in our business, experience a health issue, or have a personal relationship failure.  Something happens that causes us to slide into negative thinking and feeling. 

What can we do to get ourselves out of this negative life space and avoid the pity party?

Live in the truth for a short time.  Give yourself a bit of time to feel bad or mourn your loss.  When you feel let down by someone, or something that didn’t happen for you, it is OK to acknowledge those bad feelings and really feel them.  If you avoid the bad feelings and try to push them away, they will become more powerful than they actually are. Give yourself a short time to feel negative emotion about the lost dreams.  Once you have felt the negative feelings all the way through, it will be easier to let go of them and move on.

Avoid a victim mentality.  Feeling like a victim for example, when a client yells at you for something beyond your control, destroys your self-confidence and removes your sense of empowerment over the circumstance. The more you dwell in disappointment and worry about that client’s feelings, the more difficult it will be to get into problem solving mode and overcome the difficulty.  Self-pity or victimhood can be destructive if you choose to dwell there. 

Get a little perspective.  We often feel sad or disappointed about something that we will not really remember in a month or so.  Think about the big picture.  Let your mind go to a place several months in the future and think about whether this disappointment will be relevant then.  Are there other more important things that you can think about now to move on?  Realizing that many of the things we experience in life will not be important months or years in the future, will help you to gain perspective about the issue at hand.

Remember that success does not always equal happiness.  Successes often feel great in the moment, but that happiness is not sustained over the long term.  Studies of lottery winners show that they are no happier one year after their lottery win than they were before the money.  Life has a tendency to even out with levels of negative and positive emotion.  There are times when a good failure is more important to your long-term success than an instant win.  You can choose to be happy with each moment regardless of the circumstance.

Identify your next opportunity. Focusing on the lessons that a failure brings will allow you to envision future successes. Knowing that each day offers renewed opportunity to try again will allow your brain to get beyond the self-pity and move on to future possibility. Focusing on your next move will help you let go of the current problem and use the lessons learned to propel you forward. 

When things don’t work out the way you originally planned, realize that nothing has gone terribly wrong.   Failure and disappointment are difficult for all of us to deal with, but you can face it with dignity and grace if you follow these five steps.  Treat yourself with compassion and see what you can learn from the situation.  Try not to judge yourself so you do not get stuck in a downward spiral of the prolonged pity party.  Let it go and move on.

Dr. Julie Cappel

Join me on the Podcast!

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“It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” - Epictetus

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do.” ― H. Jackson Brown Jr.