As a veterinarian who has spent my life helping people and pets, without any concern for their political leanings, it disturbs me how contentious this year has become. With Covid-19 mandating that we change the way we practice veterinary medicine and the associated unrest in our country, we have been faced with some clients who disagree with our protocols and procedures regarding Covid-19. This has caused increase cases of verbal and physical abuse being laid at the feet of receptionists, technicians and veterinarians. There have been people swearing, threatening, throwing things, and destroying property at many of the veterinary hospitals in our area.
Why don’t we all just get along?
Douglas E. Noll, a lawyer and expert mediator, explains that, “Human beings are emotional not rational. As the conflict develops, we perceive it as a threat, and we may blame, attack, or withdraw.”
The ugly nature of people is just bubbling beneath the surface at any given moment. We are all capable of lashing out to another person when we feel that things are not going our way. The part of our brain that fears rejection, failure, or isolation, kicks in when we are in conflict. We want to fight for our opinions to remain relevant and feel heard.
We must train ourselves to be better.
Most of us had mothers that told us, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Our mothers knew that we needed to be reminded to be kind because it did not always come naturally. Using our prefrontal cortex that allows us to think rationally — along with some prompting from our mothers — we can overcome our need to react negatively to others.
Practice compassion for all other humans and allow for differing opinions. We all want to be free to live our lives as we wish, but freedom requires the ability to differ. If a client wants to give their view on how you should practice, be open to listening. Staying calm with compassion is always the best way to keep yourself from being sucked into an argument. Appreciate differences and remain open minded to others’ views.
Have realistic expectations that others will not always act kindly towards you and vow to not strike back. If you understand that most of the people you encounter will be kind, but some will not, you will be prepared to let the bad encounters roll off your back and you can stay out of the mud.
Take care of your team during these difficult times. Have frequent conversations with fellow veterinarians and your team members so they feel supported. Associating with others that are experiencing the same situations will allow all to feel understood, supported, and safe.
Humans are emotional and also beautifully unique. Let’s value our differences and try to get along.
Dr. Julie Cappel
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