Hug a puppy – change your mind.

The last few months have been difficult for all of us at home and at the veterinary hospitals.  Working with our clients out of the building has presented some unique challenges.   Many people are working from home or out of work, and they are flooding the veterinary hospital with cases -- we have been working our butts off.  The veterinary teams are stressed, physically exhausted, and overwhelmed.  We are struggling to stay positive and enjoy our jobs.

When we are faced with so many negative narratives and circumstances, it is difficult to keep our mind positive to love what we do.

 

Enter the puppies!

One very positive thing that is happening during the pandemic is the puppies – so many puppies.  People have gotten new puppies while they have been quarantined at home.  We have seen French bulldogs, an English bulldog, a Boston terrier, several labradoodles, a beagle, a border collie, Pit bulls, two sweet matching pug sisters, and many more.

The puppies make our days better mostly because they are happy, sweet, cute, wiggly and they make us think differently about our jobs.  They remind us that when life is hard, there are always things to look forward to. Puppies are never sad -- they look at the world in such a positive way. 

Happy, successful people also think differently.  If you want to be happy and successful, change your thinking. Humans tend to focus on the negative things that happen in a day and ignore the positive. Puppies see only positive.  Let’s think more like puppies.

How do you change your thinking?

Ask yourself why.  We often ask ourselves why something outside of ourselves happens, but we don’t often explore our own reactions. Why does it bother me when a client complains about the 15-30-minute wait in their car?  Why does it bother me when a client does not take my advice?  Is there another way to think about it?  Asking yourself some questions about your reactions will allow you to learn about your mind.  The more we learn about how we think the more power we have to change it. 

Find something to anchor yourself to.  I learned about the Law of Attraction many years ago and it has served me well.  When you are suffering with a negative mindset you need someone or something to hold on to.  A religion, spiritual practice, mentor, or coach. Someone or something to turn to in your time of need when things feel impossible.  Having that grounding influence will allow you to change your thinking about any situation. If you want to attract more positivity you have to surround yourself with some positive influence.

Slow down or stop to smell the roses.  We are often so wrapped up in our day that we forget to appreciate the little things that we need to appreciate.  The sun on our face or the wind in our hair as we visit a client’s car.   Taking off our mask for a brief moment to kiss the wiggly sweet puppy.  Stop just for a minute to appreciate those things and your negativity will start to wane. 

Take a few lessons from the innocent happy puppies that you see today and indulge in a wiggle and a smile.  You will be a better human for it.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“We sometimes underestimate the influence of little things…” - Charles W. Chesnutt

New podcast this week!!!  Join me to talk about compassion fatigue and all the other things that we struggle with.  I will help!
The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730 

Get some stuff done!

We all have many things that we want to get done.  There are short-term and long-term life goals, and then there are the things that you have to get done in order to get a paycheck or keep yourself and your family clothed and fed.  We know the, “have to” things are usually the priority so by the end of the day when we only have half of them done, we become stressed, frustrated, and overwhelmed.  Also, just so tired.  

 

I have been struggling for the past few weeks with getting things done.  My weekly blog, my podcast, my job, my housework, and even my eating and exercise are taking a back seat to my confusion.  My mind is all over the place with ideas of the things that I would like to get done but there are so many things that need doing. What to do next?  When I think about it, I become overwhelmed with all the possibilities. I indulge in the emotion of confusion, causing my brain to shut down and want to grab a snack and watch something really mindless on Netflix.

How do we get out from under the indulgent emotion of confusion in order to take steps towards accomplishing a goal? 

First practice some self-compassion.  Stop beating yourself up over what you did not get done today. When you berate yourself you just create more excuses and allow your brain to believe that you are no good at accomplishing tasks and attaining goals.  This will add to your confusion.

Let go of the thought, “I don’t know”.  Thinking that you don’t know how to do something feels valid but when you think it your brain automatically shuts down.  If your brain shuts down, you are not able to take a step to choose something to do. When you think that you don’t know, ask yourself one question.  What would I do if I did know?  Answer that question and you can start on a plan.

In order to get started and create momentum, choose just one thing to focus on and complete each day.  If you start with one small thing and do it consistently it will begin to become a habit.  You can start small. Ten minutes of reading, exercise or meditation each day consistently will turn into something that you commit to.  Once you have developed a new habit you can expand into another task or take the next step towards your goal. 

When you feel yourself falling into the trap of self-indulgent confusion, understand where that emotion is coming from.  Hold space to feel self-compassion and then force yourself to choose a first step towards your goal.  Even if that first step is not obvious take an action anyway.  With each action you will learn what works and what fails.   If you choose one step at a time, commit to an action consistently, and follow up with a second action, you will eventually reach any goal.

Now, I need to go get something done.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Join me and my daughter Bridget on the podcast last week and this week.  We talk about Myers Briggs personality types as leaders.  Learn something about yourself with us!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730
 

Here (over) comes the Bride

Today we hosted a wedding in the backyard of our home for a close friend and her family.  This beautiful bride had been planning her wedding for two years, when three months out, a worldwide pandemic hit. 

 Of course, she had “save the date” and shower invitations printed and sent.  She had purchased, flowers, food and favors.  She had chosen bridesmaids and their dresses, shoes, hair and makeup, the photographer, a DJ and her venue.  All things that brides do for the most important day of their life.

 The bride and her fiancé were forced to make a judgement call as to whether they wanted to postpone the wedding until another future date or change the wedding plans to hold a small ceremony keeping their original wedding date.    When the bride asked us if we would host the wedding ceremony in our yard, we were honored to help and excited to have something, anything, to look forward to in our quarantine.

 I was able to talk to the bride about how she envisioned her day and as she was telling me she started to cry.  This was not what she had in mind when she accepted the proposal.  She had the big dress, big venue, big party vision.  She had the hundreds of people dancing the electric slide, large bridal party event in mind.  This was far from what she wanted.

 What do you do when life throws Covid-19 into the middle of your wedding day plans? 

Cry a lot at first, accept that things have changed, then put on your Wonder Woman cape and start to make a new plan.

 Accept that life will throw you curve balls.  When you have a plan, it helps to keep in mind that nothing in life is certain.  A friend of mine has a motto that she follows, “No expectations, no assumptions, no regrets”.  To me this means that if you accept that life is always uncertain, you may be better able to change course when something does go wrong.  Accept that the “new” wedding will be different.

 Don’t “curb your enthusiasm”.  Keep your excitement going for the new plans.  Even though a small wedding ceremony in the back yard of your friend’s house was not your original plan, staying enthusiastic for the revised wedding plans allows for increased creativity and joy for the event.  Allowing yourself to stay excited will help you let go of your previous disappointment.

 This bride’s wedding day today was truly fabulous in every way.  The weather was a perfect sunny 70 degrees.  The beautifully decorated archway set on the edge of the lush green woods was the perfect backdrop for the wedding photos.  The family was healthy and all in attendance as the couple recited their vows. 

 To all of you struggling with disappointment over cancelled plans, follow this bride’s lovely example of overcoming her negative circumstances to create a beautiful dream wedding day. 

 Dr. Julie Cappel

 “We don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”– Barbara De Angelis

 
“Life keeps throwing me stones. And I keep finding the diamonds.”– Ana Claudia Antunes

 

Can Bad Times Create Better People?

If you spend any time looking at media, social or otherwise, you may think that the world has gone to hell in a handbasket.  We have spent months in lock down fearing a killer virus that threatens our health and economy.  Then, as soon as we think we have a plan to help control the virus and open the economy, the cities of the United States are being destroyed by violent criminals taking advantage of what should be peaceful protests.  It is easy to think that a crisis always brings out the worst in people.

Actually, the exact opposite is true.  Yes, there are bad eggs, but most people tend to step up and ban together during difficulties.

Rebecca Solnit writes that, “The history of disaster demonstrates that most of us are social animals, hungry for connection, as well as for purpose and meaning.” A truly dire situation, as tragic as it is, “drags us into emergencies that require we act, and act altruistically, bravely, and with initiative in order to survive or save our neighbors, no matter how we vote or what we do for a living.”

I have seen and heard many examples of people stepping up during the pandemic and riots. Neighbors dropping off groceries for their elderly neighbors, people guarding businesses during the riots, and individuals providing financial or emotional support through offerings of coaching support.  Personally, I have been working an abbreviated schedule since the pandemic began, our staff split into two teams each working 3 days per week.   Our schedule has been shorter in hours, but longer in mental and physical effort.  In spite of the challenging circumstances that we find ourselves in, I have experienced great effort from our manager and team, working to create an environment of safety for ourselves and service to our clients and their pets. 

Few clients are critical and impatient, most are generous and understanding to our new policies and procedures.  This week I received the most wonderful thank-you card from a client, that was decorated in stickers – including one of me – thanking me for helping her bird to recover.  Last week we received a large check from one of our clients to help us buy food for multiple lunches. We have also had many deliveries of various foods from appreciative clients and fellow team members.

When crises arise in your life, may you benefit from generous friends and a generous heart.  Always remember that acts of kindness are also good for the people that do them.  Working to develop your generous spirit will create more happiness in you and for you.   

Stay healthy, stay kind and stay generous.

Dr. Julie Cappel

 Join me this week on the podcast!   This week we talk about leadership and Myers-Briggs Personality types. 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730