Sunday, March 28, 2021

Foiled by Distraction



I had a hectic week this week, and I was looking forward to a Saturday off where I could catch up on my housework, paperwork, and rest.   I created this long list of housekeeping chores, reading, and writing that I wanted to do and started in on it after my morning coffee. As I cleaned up the basement storage area, only the second task on my list, I ran across some leftover paint that I saved from a previous project.  I was getting ready to get rid of the paint when I had a thought that I could use the paint to update the blinds in my kitchen. They had been neglected since I changed the color of the walls some months ago.  I took down one pane of the blinds to see how the color would work in the room, and as it dried, I had the thought that I could just paint them all and have it done in a couple hours.  Eight hours later, I finished the can of paint on the last pane.  My Saturday to-do list was totally blown out of the water.  Now, I had a kitchen full of wet window blinds and another big mess to clean up tomorrow.  


Why does this happen?  So often, I start with one project in mind and get totally swept away by another.  In my case, it is partially personality-driven — I love variety and the challenge of every new shiny project — and partially procrastination.  The new project is much more appealing than the uncomfortable feelings that mundane tasks present. Procrastination is not laziness; it is just a way to avoid pain. Ironically, once we avoid the painful task, then we feel annoyance at ourselves for avoiding the task.   Somewhere in my mind, painting blinds sounded less painful than cleaning the basement, writing, or recording a podcast.  It is irrational, but this is how our human brain works.  (Avoid pain, seek pleasure)


When we feel any negative emotion i.e., boredom, insecurity, frustration, or anxiety, we commonly will find a way to avoid those feelings by doing something else.   We eat a snack, drink something, watch movies, or even do other work in an effort to avoid those feelings.  Procrastination is not a time management problem; it is a “thinking” problem.  Suppose we have low opinions of ourselves or thoughts about an unpleasant task. In that case, we will often find something else to do that we think will feel better.  The problem with letting this become habitual is that the avoidance of the important yet negative task reinforces negative emotion about ourselves and our lack of self discipline.   The procrastination that we practice inadvertently creates more procrastination and negative feelings.  


How can we do better?  Working to understand the root of procrastination will help us start to solve for it.  Practicing forgiveness when we do avoid a certain task and allowing ourselves grace is another way to escape the procrastination loop.  Finding small rewards within the scheduled task may help us stop avoiding it.  I find that I avoid housework less if I play music while cleaning.  The music adds something pleasant to the unpleasant cleaning tasks.  Simultaneously removing the temptation of your preferred distraction (hide the snacks) will help you avoid it in the future.  


Just being aware that procrastination is a normal part of our brain’s function will help you see through yourself when it happens.  Forgive yourself and try again to complete the task that you have so cleverly avoided.  In my case, that would be finishing my basement cleaning before I take on another project. If I know myself, there will be at least one basement discovery that leads to another long distraction.  Wish me luck tomorrow!


Dr. Julie Cappel


“In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”  – Theodore Roosevelt


Sunday, March 21, 2021

Spring Forward



This week it really started to feel like spring in Michigan.  Daylight savings time kicked in last weekend and we had some rather warm sunny days all week.   I am not stupid enough to believe that we will have no more freezing weather, but just the fact that the days are getting longer and I was able to take my dogs for a walk without a hat and gloves was enough to make me feel optimistic about summer coming.  


Spring seems to be the happiest, most optimistic season especially if you live in the northern United States.  The days are transformed from  cold into warm and from darkness into light.  Spring is when we see flowers bloom and grass turn green. Spring is the time we usually get stray kittens brought into work too, and who among us can resist the cuteness of a kitten? (I can’t wait!)


Spring is a perfect time to commit to change. The changes that we resolve to make seem easier when the weather is improving and the world is blooming.  I enjoy coaching people as they commit to making positive change.  It is such a fun process!  Each time we take a step towards personal growth and self improvement we allow ourselves to progress towards greater happiness.  It is a choice that we make to move ahead instead of standing still — risking failure in an attempt to learn from our mistakes and grow.


Take some time now to think about the changes that you wish to make in your life.  Even if they have failed in the past, you can commit to trying again. Create a strong vision of the changes that you want to see and then plan some small steps to get started in that direction.  Flowers emerge slowly from the ground in spring, so do not be in a hurry to see the full bloom of your goal without taking some time to grow your plan. 


Plan for some obstacles along the way.  Even in April we can get a little snow.  As you are working towards any goal you will encounter a set back or two.  Expect it and plan for it.  Planning solutions to possible obstacles ahead of time will help you to cope with frustration.  Quitting is not an option, but work arounds are critical.  Successful people are those that push on when things get difficult.  Having a plan for your obstacles will help you avoid feeling discouraged if the plan does not unfold exactly as you envisioned.


As you enjoy the longer days and prettier weather, think about the things that you want to change in your life this year.  Use the optimism of spring to allow you to create positive change.  Work with a coach or mentor if needed to keep you on track, then get moving. Open yourself up to the possibility thinking that comes with spring.


Dr. Julie Cappel


“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”Anne Bradstreet


Sunday, March 14, 2021

Friends


This weekend I spent time with some of my closest friends.  This group of women has been together for many years, meeting twice a year to spend the weekend together scrapbooking and crafting.  We gather, catch up, eat, drink, watch movies, craft, and share the stories of our lives.  We discuss problems and challenges and strengthen relationships that carry us through many of our life challenges.  


As I think about the relationships that I have with these women, it occurs to me that we all need close relationships in life to give us support and acceptance. We need to be heard and feel understood. Creating an enduring relationship or friendship, requires effort and personal investment — an investment of time in learning about our friends and understanding their needs, often putting those needs above our own.


We need to respect their unique individual personalities.  We are all shaped by a combination of inherent characteristics and life experiences causing us to be the people that we are.  In order to create relationships with each other we need to put in time learning about ourselves.  Understanding your values and preferences allows you to work towards respecting the differences in those around you.  If you are grounded in your values, you will become an amazing person that accepts those around you. Acceptance is the first step in growing strong relationships.


Ask people about their feelings and then really spend time listening.  One of the best ways to create a close relationship is listening to others with sincerity and empathy.  Being open to empathy requires active and intense listening skills.  Listening encourages people to express their emotions and relieves stress.  But don’t expect listening to be passive.  Expect that when you start to listen, you may get more emotion than you expected.  Emotions are an important part of any friendship, so if you extract some emotion while you are listening, consider yourself successful.

 


People require relationships to remain emotionally healthy.  If we are isolated and alone it causes self-doubt and loneliness.  We have seen this play out this past year with the increased social challenges of the pandemic.  People in isolation do not do as well as people with strong friendships and relationships. Working to connect with other human beings is an important part of a healthy life.  Work to reach out to others in any way that you can.  


Creating supportive and enduring relationships takes effort and investment, but the ultimate reward will be a life rich with love and support.  If you offer your love and support to another, you may not see the result today, but at some time in the future you will look up and find that you have many more friends that you imagined possible.  Reach out to others and soon your life will be rich with friendships and relationships.  


Dr. Julie Cappel


“Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you; spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.” — Amy Poehler


They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” — Carl W. Buechner


Sunday, March 7, 2021

Blessed with Trust and Loyalty


I find myself surprised everyday about how much I love and respect the profession that we call veterinary medicine.  I have recently reacquainted myself with the “All Creatures Great and Small” PBS series, based on the books by James Herriot.  James Alfred Wight, whose pen name was Herriot, was a beloved veterinarian that spent his life in the Yorkshire dales practicing for almost fifty years.  


If you have read his books or followed his stories on PBS, you will discover that his life as a veterinarian was difficult, challenging, entertaining, and amazing.  Although he had many of the troubles and struggles that we all have in life, he considered himself blessed to live a life rich in variety. He believed himself honored with the trust and loyalty of the people of his rural community for many years.


Much has changed since James practiced veterinary medicine, but the things that have not changed are what makes this profession so amazing.  The relationships that we form with our clients and the trust and loyalty that they give us in return.


Yesterday I met a beautiful female border collie mix that had been adopted by one of our most loyal and trusting clients.  We have a longstanding relationship with the couple that adopted this beautiful girl.  They are the kind of people who volunteer to work with us each year at our Christmas charity event. They never complain, are kind and considerate to our team, and trust that we will always do our best for their beloved dogs.   They lost one of their sweet dogs last week to cancer and their remaining dog was so distraught that they had to get her a companion. When I walked into the room with their newest baby, I had to tell her that she had just won the pet adoption lottery.  No family could be a better home for any dog. I knew that she would live a life rich in love and care.  


Veterinarians get to know families in the best and the worse moments of their lives.  We are there for the joy of their new puppy or kitten, we work with them in times of financial and family stress, and we help them with final decisions when their pets are no longer comfortable and able to carry on.  We laugh with them and cry with them.  They reward us with their love, loyalty, and trust. 


Do not take that loyalty lightly.  If you are a veterinarian, know that you are respected and loved more than you know.  Each time a client trusts the care of their pet to you, they are showing loyalty to you and your profession.   If some do not show their appreciation — or worse, give you a hard time — be secure in the knowledge that they are a part of your life experience and will allow you to show grace to another.  Count the blessings and not the complaints and your life will be richer for it. 


Dr. Julie Cappel




“Loyalty is still the same, whether it win or lose the game; true as a dial to the sun, although it be not shined upon.” - SAMUEL BUTLER


“The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty.” - ZIG ZIGLAR

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