When You Feel Like a Fraud

I received difficult news on Monday that made me reflect on my veterinary career, the passage of time, and personal growth. My mentor, one of my favorite people, Dr. William Mullan, passed away at 91.

Doc Mullan was a brilliant veterinarian and a true leader in his community and organized veterinary medicine, serving on the State Board of Veterinary Examiners and as president of the Southeastern Veterinary Medical Association. But more than that, he was a mentor to me and many others—someone who helped shape not just my career, but my self-confidence. 

His passing brought me back to a time when I was young, inexperienced, and—if I’m being honest—felt like a fraud most of the time.

Three years after veterinary school, I joined Dr. Mullan and his partner, Dr. Randy Evans. Their practice was renowned for small-animal and exotic care, and Dr. Evans excelled in avian medicine—the path I aspired to pursue. When I first applied, they weren’t hiring, but I still sent my resume to the office. Months later, a position opened, and they called me for an interview.

Not long after that, I was invited to join their team.

And despite how incredible that opportunity was, I spent much of my early time there feeling like I didn’t belong. 

If you’ve ever walked out of an exam room second-guessing yourself, replayed a case long after your shift ended, or quietly wondered, “When will they realize I don’t actually know what I’m doing?”—you are not alone.

Impostor syndrome is incredibly common in veterinary medicine. In fact, it tends to show up most in high-achieving, compassionate, and deeply committed professionals… which describes many veterinarians. Most of my coaching clients say it is one of the hardest challenges they face. 

Impostor syndrome doesn’t reflect a lack of skill or knowledge; it’s simply the perception that we do, even though we are capable and well-prepared.

Our thoughts are things like:

“Wow - I was so lucky with that surgery.”

“All the other vets I work with are smarter than I am.”

“I should know this by now.”

“If I ask for help, they’ll think I’m stupid or incompetent.”

Even when you’re doing well, your brain will focus on what you think you lack. That is how a normal high-achieving brain works. On top of that, we face high expectations from clients, team members, and ourselves. These challenges can help us grow stronger, more capable, and resilient if we work on our thoughts about ourselves.

Here’s a perspective shift that will change everything for you:

Confidence doesn’t come from knowing everything; it comes from trusting yourself to figure things out.  Every experienced veterinarian still consults, researches, asks questions, and, yes, sometimes gets it wrong. That’s not failure. That’s veterinary medicine.

How do we start shifting out of impostor thinking?

Label it when it appears: “This is impostor syndrome talking.” Awareness helps you avoid believing every thought your brain offers. 

Focus on your wins.  Offering yourself evidence of your success will help dilute the negative thoughts you so easily give yourself.  Notice the cases that went well and had positive client feedback.  Keep a journal of positives if you can. Save the thank-you notes and great reviews and re-read them often.

Normalize asking for help. Consulting colleagues isn’t a weakness—it’s standard care. Doctors Mullan and Evans were there to answer many of my  questions (stupid and otherwise) that helped shape me into the veterinarian I am today. 

Talk about your feelings. Sharing with trusted colleagues or a coach familiar with veterinary medicine will help show you how common these feelings are. Seek a coach or therapist to help you process your feelings. 

When you sometimes feel like a fraud, remember this is a normal part of being human. With self-awareness and practice, you can learn to feel more confident and competent, and truly enjoy your veterinary life. 

Every conversation with Doc Mullan reminded me that I was a strong, capable leader and veterinarian. His mentorship showed me the value of believing in myself and honoring our chosen work. I will carry his wisdom forward and honor his memory by supporting others as long as I am capable. 

Sail on, Doc Mullan. You were loved, and you are missed.

Dr. Julie Cappel

Separating Your Worth from Your Work

This week I published a podcast with a veterinarian whose story we should all hear.  She had fallen into the deepest darkest place that a person can go, by the grace of God got professional help, and now has risen to a place of helping other veterinarians deal with impostor syndrome and learn to take care of their mental health.  This profound conversation lead me to think about how we often confuse our worth with our work.

As a veterinarian and a life coach, I know that veterinarians are deeply devoted to their work. It’s not just a job for us, it is our life long dream. We invested years into our education and continue to spend hours in updating that education.  We expend emotional energy, financial resources, and sacrifice our personal life to serve our clients, the people who love animals as much as we do.

Something about veterinary ambition turns us into perfectionists who tie our worth as a human to our success as a professional. But in reality, our worth as a human being is never tied to our productivity or our medical outcomes.  Because we are high achievers, the compassion and empathy makes us successful, but also makes us vulnerable to low self-worth.

When your identity becomes your profession, everything feels personal:

• A poor outcome feels like a character flaw.
• A difficult client feels like a personal rejection.
• A slow day feels like inadequacy.
• A mistake feels catastrophic and unforgivable.

Remember this; you can do everything “right” and still have a patient decline. You can practice excellent medicine and still have clients complain. You can be highly skilled and still have an unexpected complication. None of those circumstances determine your value. 

Your worth was established long before you ever wore your scrubs and white coat. It existed before you were accepted to veterinary school.  It exists outside your clinic and it remains with you each and every day.

There are a few common reasons veterinarians do this.

We are conditioned to achieve.  Many of us were praised for performance when we were growing up.  We were encouraged to get the good grades and be the good kid.  We equated achievement with love and attention. Medicine trains us to strive for ideal outcomes so we tend to internalize negative outcomes.  The caring and passion that we have makes us fear and hide feelings of failure.  Our profession glorifies long days, endurance, and self-sacrifice.

How do we separate worth from work?

By learning from our mistakes without shame.  By evaluating our performance without attacking ourselves.  By resting without believing that we are lazy. By setting boundaries without guilt. 

Try talking to yourself in a new way.  Not, “I am a bad veterinarian”, but “What can I learn from this setback?”  Don’t say, “The client is upset because I am not smart enough.”, say, “The client is upset because they are being controlled by their fear and grief.”  

You are a whole person.  You are someone with emotions, relationships, hobbies, dreams, and a life outside the clinic. When work becomes the only measure of your worth, stress and burnout result.

Coach yourself by asking, “If I could not practice starting tomorrow, would I still have value?”  The answer is YES!

You are still worthy of respect and love, always. 

So, notice your self-talk, replace identity statements with situational statements, create non-work related relationships and hobbies, and set boundaries to build the life of your dreams.  

If you are struggling to see your worth, reach out for help. Get yourself a coach or therapist - it will make all the difference.

The most grounded, happy people that work in veterinary medicine have worked to create self-awareness and built their identity outside of their work.  You are valued and worthy just because God designed you for a unique purpose in this world. You can be an incredible veterinarian and also value yourself as an incredible human being. 

Take care, my friend.

Dr. Julie Cappel
The Veterinary Life Coach

Reach out to me for coaching at theveterinarylifecoach.com

A Bright and Bold New Year!

Here we are again on the precipice of a new year, if you are one of the fortunate people who get to see it.  Not everyone has the opportunity to start fresh on January first.  I lost one of my dear friends last year to ALS, and I think of her now as I get the honor and privilege to plan for another year.  She was a bright and bold individual who faced her disease with grace and dignity. ALS slowly and viciously robs you of your abilities.  She was the bravest person I have ever met, and she will not have the opportunity to see 2026. Her family has to face everything without her. In her honor, I write this blog to challenge myself and all of you to think of this new year differently and savor the opportunity to live brightly and boldly, no matter your circumstances.

Now, let's consider what it means to be bold.  

The dictionary definition: "Fearless and daring; brave and courageous; unduly forward and brazen." If I could embody these traits, what might I accomplish next year?

To become bolder, we first have to acknowledge what we carry from the past. Awareness creates clarity and allows us to let go. What happened last year that challenged you? What did you learn? What do you want to release, and what changes do you want to make? Last year was simply a time that shaped you. My friend's passing taught me patience and perseverance. I will always remember her bravery. If you acknowledge your past and let it go, you make room for the person you want to become—for possibilities.

A second step towards creating a bold new year might be setting some boundaries around your time.  Saying “no’ when you want to say no without over-explaining yourself or making excuses.  Boldly stepping up and asking for help when you feel the need. Prioritizing your physical and mental health.  Asking for or hiring help is not a weakness; it is self-protection and self-care, and it allows you to accelerate your personal growth.  

Turning to the idea of brightness, how do we create more of it in our lives?

Creating a brighter new year means focusing on the light ahead. Imagine your future as full of possibilities, without limitation. Feeling more optimistic and lighter frees your mind to dream bigger and plan without fear of failure. Ask yourself how you want to feel in 2026. What do you want to create for yourself—not just achieve? Achievement brings satisfaction, but always striving produces anxiety. Redirect ambition toward cultivating better feelings: calm in place of anxiety, confidence in place of self-doubt. These are goals that lead to true success. Satisfaction, worthiness, and fulfillment—that is brightness.

With these themes in mind, how can we start making progress?

Choose a word/theme for this year.  Mine is appreciation.  I want to live this year in true appreciation for all of my blessings.  After watching my friend die, I know that each minute I have is a gift, and I want to live up to that.  What is the word or theme that you want to live into?  

Once you have your theme, identify what boundary could make it possible. Can you limit distractions or reduce work hours to spend more time on yourself? Consider coaching or therapy, or return to nature. It need not be a huge change—incremental shifts can build lasting transformation if you focus on what you want to create.

Commit to a growth practice, whether it is journaling, coaching, therapy, gratitude, meditation, prayer, reading, or more sleep. Any practice that gives you space to be more of yourself and less distracted, anxious, and overwhelmed. Small changes can lead to big results. If you promise to journal daily and do it only three days, three is better than zero. Check in with yourself weekly to notice progress and focus on consistent effort over perfection. Starting each day again with intention leads to true growth and change.

As you face the new year, remember: you are not broken or behind. You are not failing. You are a remarkable, worthy individual with many gifts for the world. This year can be bolder and brighter, not harder. By forging a renewed relationship with yourself, your family, and your work, you may still meet challenges, but you will value your life more and all its blessings.

Have a bold and bright new year - just take one small step at a time in honor of my dear friend.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

Take Time to Rest in a Stressful Holiday Season

It’s the holiday season, and our stress is starting to build.  You may say, “build? I am stressed all day, every day. What do you mean by build?” 

 

The holiday season can also be a beautiful time of year—twinkling holiday lights (my favorite), gatherings with friends and family, cozy or ugly winter sweaters, and moments of gratitude are what we truly want.

I know from experience that being a veterinarian and a mom at this time of year is crazy stressful.  The clinic gets busier, clients are more anxious about everything, meeting production goals becomes difficult, and personal obligations like parties, school concerts, and family demands seem to increase exponentially.  Those of you who have young children must play “Elf on the Shelf” and Santa Claus! How much more can we put on ourselves without exploding?

But you can enjoy this season—and you deserve to. You can learn to change your expectations and create different intentions. With a bit of mindset work, you can make better decisions and create a calmer, more meaningful holiday experience, even in the middle of our veterinary life chaos. Here are a few ways to create more peace for yourself this year.

Start by creating your own holiday pace. Veterinarians are very skilled at rushing through life, but you don’t have to keep the workplace urgency going at home.  Slow things down a little wherever you can.  Say “no” to unnecessary things and stop your people-pleasing.  You are not responsible for making things perfect; your goal is to make things joyful and fun for yourself and your family.  Not performing, not perfecting, just simply creating more happiness.

Focus on staying present. Holiday stress often comes from trying to do everything “right”—the perfect gifts, perfect meals, perfect decorations, perfect schedule. Just yesterday I was wrapping gifts and beating myself up over my wrapping skills - ridiculous! Instead, try focusing on presence: being where you are, noticing what’s around you, and allowing yourself to experience moments without judging them. Perfection is exhausting; presence will restore you and bring more peace.

Give yourself the gift of boundaries. You spend all year caring for others—clients, pets, staff, friends, and family. It’s okay to care for yourself, too. Setting gentle boundaries this season can help you protect your time. Whether that’s limiting after-hours texts or calls, delegating holiday tasks, or carving out quiet time each day, boundaries create space for you to feel peace.

Build in tiny moments of calmness at work. Take three deep breaths between appointments. Enjoy your coffee or lunch without multitasking. Step outside for two minutes of cool air, grounding, and silence. Sit in your car after work for a brief moment of stillness and meditation before heading home. These tiny resets add up and keep your stress from compounding.

Choose some things that bring you joy. The holidays are meant to be enjoyable, but sometimes we get stuck doing things out of habit, tradition, or obligation. This year, ask yourself: What actually brings me joy? Maybe it’s baking, perhaps it’s skipping the baking. Maybe it’s hosting, or maybe it’s staying home in pajamas and watching cheesy holiday movies. Maybe buy yourself a small gift. Follow what energizes you—not what drains you.

Practice some compassion for yourself. Give yourself grace this season. You’re uniquely human. You get tired. You have emotions, and you may even have a couple meltdowns - I have. Make the best decisions you can in demanding situations. Self-compassion is not weakness—it’s a strength that keeps you grounded and creates resilience.

You deserve some rest. (Now I am talking to myself as well as you) Even in this busy veterinary life, you can find joy, comfort, and calm. This season, allow yourself to release unrealistic expectations, simplify where you can, and focus on what feels most meaningful to you. When you take care of your own emotional well-being, you will show up as your best self—for your patients, your loved ones, and most importantly, for yourself.

I am wishing you and your family (pets included) a peaceful, joyful, and relaxed holiday season. Please take care of you!

 Dr. Julie Cappel

“Things to remember this holiday season: Breathe. Spend time with those you love. Rest when you can. Be kind to yourself and remember you don’t have to be a superhero.” – Anna Grace Taylor.

My Son's Wedding and What It May Teach Us About Commitment

In late July, I had the joy and honor of watching my son marry the love of his life. It was the most beautiful ceremony—intimate, emotional, and grounded in everything that makes life meaningful: family, love, trust, hope, and commitment.

As I sat there, in the first row/first chair  - they would not allow me to get any closer - watching the vows exchanged, I found myself reflecting not just as Tristan's mother, but also as someone who helps others navigate work and life. I observed my daughter and her husband of seven years, and the growth that they have enjoyed.  I sat next to my husband of thirty-six years and remembered our many ups and downs.  Commitment is a theme that runs through both marriage, life, and, as strange as it sounds, veterinary medicine.  Committing is essential—not only in our relationships, but in our work, our purpose, and for ourselves.

At the altar, we make promises: "for better or for worse," "in sickness and in health," "to love, honor, and cherish." These vows are not just words. They're commitments—intentional choices to keep showing up, even when it's hard, even when the feelings fade, even when life doesn't go as planned.

In veterinary medicine, we make vows too. When we take our professional oath at graduation, we commit to animal welfare, to ethical practice, to lifelong learning, and to doing our best. It is not a one-time decision. It's something we renew every day. Just like in marriage, we don't always feel happy, excited, and calm. But our commitment goes beyond feelings—it shows in our daily actions.

Can we be committed to our profession without burnout?

At any wedding, there was laughter, dancing, and joy. But beneath the celebration is something more profound: positive intention. My son and his new wife are not committing to perfection—they are committing to growth, to open communication, and to partnership.

Commitment doesn't mean saying yes to everything, pushing through pain, or giving until there's nothing left. Real commitment requires boundaries. It requires self-respect. It requires recognizing that you cannot care for others unless you first care for yourself.

You don't have to give all of yourself to be a good veterinarian, a good parent, or a good partner. In fact, the best veterinarians are the ones who know when to rest, when to ask for help, and when to say no. That is commitment to self.

I challenge you to ask yourself this question.

"What am I truly committed to - today, this month, this year?"

You may be committed to improving your work-life balance. You may be recommitting to your career after a rough patch. Maybe your commitment right now is simply surviving a hard day or week.  That's okay.

Whatever it is, let it be intentional. And remember, commitment doesn't have to look dramatic or grand. It can be as simple as getting up, trying again, and showing kindness when it's hard—taking care of yourself so you can keep doing what you love.

Whether you're in the first year of practice, in a leadership role, or wondering what your next step in veterinary medicine looks like—ask yourself:

"What do I choose today, even when it's hard?"  That is commitment. 

As the music faded and Tristan and Samantha walked hand in hand through the guests holding sparklers, I felt a deep sense of peace. Not because I know it will be easy for them, but because I know they're committed to each other and will do the work to build a healthy life together.

I hope this story reminds you that what you're doing matters—and so do you.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality.”— Abraham Lincoln

Joyously Calm Veterinary Teams: Building a Healthier, Happier Practice

I am sitting at my desk, on Zoom, waiting for a Dentist/entrepreneur with expertise in teamwork and hospital culture to guest on my podcast (The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast). She was scheduled for three o’clock p.m., but it is now three eighteen, and she has not arrived. I sent an email to check in, but for now, I must wait.

What better time than to write my blog about happier teams?  I have done the research in preparation for the podcast and led a team for many years, so let me share some of the things I have learned with you so you can improve your team’s joy. 

Working in a busy veterinary hospital often involves some level of chaos. The profession is filled with people who are passionate, dedicated, and committed to animal care. But like any high-stress, high-stakes environment, it can become a place of high drama. We experience miscommunications, interpersonal tensions, and click formations. Team drama is a common topic that I work with clients on in my life coaching work.

  

How do we handle the chaos, decrease the drama, and build a supportive, calm, productive, and even joyous team? 

Here are practical strategies for building a drama-free, mostly joyful veterinary team.

Set clear expectations from the start. Ambiguity breeds misunderstanding. Every team member should understand their role, responsibilities, and how their work contributes to the overall mission of the practice. Clear job descriptions, onboarding processes, and performance expectations help prevent confusion and the resentment that often fuels drama. Hold regular team meetings where responsibilities and workflows are reviewed. Encourage questions and clarification.  Allow team members to express opinions freely and in a positive way. 

Agree on a culture of psychological safety. People are more likely to gossip or complain when they don’t feel safe addressing problems directly to the leader or other members of the team. A drama-free environment encourages open, honest communication without fear of judgment or retaliation. Train yourself and other leaders to foster psychological safety by being approachable, actively listening, and modeling respectful behavior.  Feelings do matter.

Address conflict early and directly. Avoiding issues doesn’t make them disappear—believe me, I know. Unlike most plants, problems grow in the shadows. Encourage team members to address minor conflicts before they escalate into big dramas. Equip your team with the tools to resolve disagreements constructively—practice conflict resolution skills at team meetings or with a coach or mentor. Stick with “I” statements to decrease tension and communicate more effectively.

Lead by example.  It does not always feel fair, but leaders must behave better.  Drama may start at the top. If leadership engages in gossip, favoritism, or passive-aggressive communication, the rest of the team will follow suit. Leadership should model professionalism, integrity, and calm under pressure. Practice transparency, humility, and accountability. Show your team what respectful leadership looks like, even during tough times.

Celebrate wins and express gratitude. Negativity tends to grow where appreciation is absent. Celebrating big and small wins boosts morale and reinforces a positive team culture. Recognizing hard work can reduce the resentment and competition that often fuel drama. Implement weekly shout-outs, gratitude boards, or short team huddles to acknowledge team contributions regularly.

Encourage self-care and support wellness. Veterinary professionals face high levels of compassion fatigue, moral injury, and stress. Team members are more likely to lash out or disengage when mentally and physically exhausted. Offer flexible scheduling when possible, normalize mental health days, and provide access to wellness resources. A well-rested, supported team is far less prone to conflict.

Build personal bonds outside the hospital. A team that knows and trusts each other outside the treatment room is more likely to collaborate and communicate effectively. Team-building doesn’t have to mean expensive outings—it can be as simple as a shared lunch or a simple game. Host informal gatherings or team lunches that focus on connection, not work. 

Drama does not have to be part of your practice culture. Veterinary teams can be calm and joyful. 

Have thoughts or tips on creating joyously calm teams? Share your experience or questions in the comments below, or send an email to jacappeldvm@gmail.com!   The Dentist’s internet went out, so I will record with her another day and we can use your questions for discussion. 

And, don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube! 

 

Old Friends and Family

This weekend, I am in Los Angeles, California, to see a Broadway show in which my son, Tristan, is performing.  I am very excited to see this performance of "Old Friends" starring Bernadette Peters and Lea Salonga.  It is a new musical tribute to Stephen Sondheim and is debuting in the United States, originating in London. After the six week run in LA, it will move on to Broadway. To have the opportunity to see the show in its debut month is incredible.  My son Tristan is a professional musician whose first love is jazz. However, he is periodically offered these Broadway gigs because he is a talented woodwind player.  Woodwinds are the flute, piccolo, clarinet, saxophone, oboe, and bassoon to those who don't know.  When someone plays in a Broadway show, they play multiple instruments.  Tristan plays the "first woodwind" in this show: a saxophone, clarinet, flute, and piccolo. The best thing about this show is that the orchestra is on stage for the performance, not in the orchestra pit.  So, I have the opportunity watch Tristan perform as a major participant in the show.  (Can you tell that I am proud of my talented children?)

While we are here in LA, when Tristan is not performing, we will do some sightseeing, eating, and relaxing with him and his fiancé Samantha. 

From Los Angeles, I am traveling to Michigan to spend a few days with a group of my old friends on our annual scrapbooking weekend. These friends are people I have known for a good portion of my life. They are truly old friends that I consider family in every sense of the word. 

Seeing a show called “Old Friends” and visiting my own old friends and family made me think of how important connecting and nurturing relationships is to our mental health.

Why focus on old friends and family?

Many people feel disconnected now, more than ever, which seems strange with the internet at our fingertips. While social media pretends to be a connection, it is superficial and artificial. Personal connection is more important for curing loneliness. Making friends and sustaining relationships increase one's sense belonging and of our overall well-being. 

Old friends make you feel connected, improve your self-esteem, and understand where you have been. Research done by Washington State University found that 50% of people reported loneliness.   A Michigan State University study of 280,000 people found that old friends can be more critical to your mental well-being than your family.  We all lose touch with friends, and our average network turns over about every seven years, so old friends are rare. 

Most of us resist reconnecting because we feel awkward or uncomfortable, but reconnecting is rewarding.  Reconnecting with old friends is an efficient way to build up your friend network.  You can rekindle an old friendship quicker than building a new connection. Old friends are better for your identity because they are often familiar with your history. Old friends help you feel more comfortable with your identity, values, and sense of self.  They “see where you are, and they know where you have been”. (To quote an old song)   Old friends can also validate your progress as they see how far you have come and acknowledge your accomplishments and achievements.

How do you reconnect with friends and family?

Start small.  Don't have huge expectations when reaching out to someone you have not seen in a while.  Maybe a quick phone call, text, or plan a meeting for coffee or lunch.  Don't plan on having hours to catch up.  It will feel less awkward to both parties if the expectations are low.

Think of reaching out to old friends as a favor to them and yourself.  It will be easier to get yourself to be the one that reaches out if you think that the other person may be lonely or need a friend too.  Many people are afraid to initiate a conversation but will happily respond and rekindle the relationship. 

Be confident in your ability to make friends.  You may feel awkward or intimidated, but if you can confidently reach out, you will have taken the first step to creating and building new networks.  Even planning a small party with a few old friends will help your relationships and keep your confidence up. 

This trip is an excellent reminder to cherish the time you spend with your old friends and your family.  Connection and relationship is what makes life rich and rewarding.  By reaching out and nurturing old friendships and family relationships, you can improve your feelings of connection and increase your well-being and sense of belonging.

Take action this week and let me know who you connect and reconnect with this week!

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Finding an old friend is like finding a lost treasure.” – Anthony Douglas Williams