Today is New Year's Day, and I had some downtime to think and write after the busy holidays. I spent some time thinking of the year ahead and why I feel compelled to push myself to create new goals and resolutions.
As this New Year begins, many of us do this: set goals and make resolutions to improve our lives. We think this process will make this year better or happier than the last. As I contemplated my goals for this year, I realized that 2023 was pretty fabulous. I did most of what I resolved to do: I published my first book, coached many wonderful and talented veterinarians, and enjoyed my life and family in many ways. Do I need to feel like I should do better? On one hand, if I don't set goals, I may sit around like a slug. On the other hand, if I select "bigger and better" goals for 2024, am I putting myself in a place of anxiety and stress? Am I setting myself up for disappointment and failure? The constant need to improve feels ambitious, but it can also cause increased anxiety and unhappiness.
How can we use goal setting and resolutions to increase skills and experiences but decrease anxiety?
Consider your personality when creating goals. People with anxiety are fueled by looking to and worrying about the future. Some of us feel less anxiety if we create a plan for accomplishments. Do you feel better when you set a goal and break it down into small steps? Do you like to make lists? If so, resolve, then check in with yourself to be sure you are not creating more anxiety about it as you work the steps. Also, avoid beating yourself up when things do not go as planned. You are on the right track if you can remain calm and in control when you work toward a goal.
Manage your expectations and ambitions. If you lean towards perfectionism, you will likely set too many goals or make them too big. We want to push ourselves out of our comfort zone to grow, but not so much that we become terrified of ourselves. Be aware to stay focused on family time, physical health, self-care, and rest while scheduling yourself for success. Facing goals that feel unattainable may be stressful and increase your anxiety. For some people, resolutions are damaging.
Choose the right mindset. Most people feel better about their goals if they are moving towards something rather than away. Harvard psychologist and author Jeff Brown says, "It is natural for humans to move toward goals that are healthy and bring about self-improvement. For those with anxiety, framing a resolution in the positive can be especially helpful." Mindset matters, so when I set goals, I choose words that help me to remain positive.
Start with small steps, create some success, and repeat. Our brains do better with small steps because we get easily distracted. If you have a big goal, break it down into manageable steps to help you remain interested and create momentum. Dave Ramsey uses the snowball analogy for a reason. Starting with the most minor steps first makes areas of success and grows your momentum over time. That's how you achieve big things.
As you work on your New Year's Resolutions and make goals this year, manage your anxiety carefully, and when you struggle, get help from a trusted friend, coach, or therapist to keep anxiety at bay. Remain calm and confident as you build the 2024 of your dreams. Share your successes with me as you progress; I am here for you.
Dr. Julie Cappel
“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.” — Andrew Carnegie.
