Missing Pieces

Today I finished a jigsaw puzzle, a beautiful 1000 piece puzzle of Santorini Island, Greece. It took me several weeks to put it together to completion.  It always feels great to complete a puzzle, but today it did not feel great at all.  I actually completed only 999 pieces — I was missing one piece.  My husband jokingly told me to look for it out in the dog yard, because my dog Parker probably ate it.  I imagine that is exactly what happened. (don’t worry, I did not look for it there)

Since the beginning of Covid-19 I have taken to keeping a puzzle on the table in my living room to work on in the evenings.  I like puzzles because they are relaxing and distracting when I need to quiet my busy mind before bed.  We also have a puzzle going at work frequently to help people unwind during lunch or on their break.  There is something calming about working a puzzle, except when you get to the end and do not have all the pieces.  

That missing piece can be so frustrating — a bit of a metaphor for life.  Some small irritation or “missing piece” can throw a beautiful day right into the crapper — or dog yard.  

Why is it that we allow a small annoyance in our day to throw us into a tail spin?  One nasty client interaction and we think that our whole day has gone awry.  One small mistake can tell our perfectionist brain that we are stupid or inadequate.  No matter how well you do the rest of the day, you feel terrible and your day is ruined. One missing piece.

Our brain has a negativity bias.  Josh Klapow, a clinical psychologist writes, “We tend to associate negative experiences with situations in which we lose something, are rejected, are threatened, or have our vulnerabilities exposed.  From an evolutionary standpoint, many of us are hard-wired to seek out negativity so we can learn to protect ourselves from it.”  The more time we spend looking for negativity the more we find it.  Instead of me seeing the 999 beautiful pieces that I successfully completed, I am totally focused on the one piece that my dog may have eaten.  Instead of enjoying the victory of the puzzle completion, I beat myself up over dropping a piece on the floor.

How can we change this “missing piece” mindset?

Concentrate on the facts.  See the negative event for what it really is, just a small irritation in an otherwise beautiful day.  One nasty client is just someone having a bad day and I can choose to enjoy the fact that all the other clients were delightful.  One small mistake makes me human and I can forgive myself.  One missing puzzle piece can not spoil the beauty of my entire puzzle.

Acknowledge your emotions.  Go ahead and have a little pity party when you can’t find the puzzle piece.  Be a little disappointed and look under that furniture, but when you don’t find it, admire the rest of the puzzle that you created.  Go ahead and feel a little sad for your mistake, but then let the sadness go so you can concentrate on the great things you did today.  Keeping focus on all the good, will help you let go of the small amount of bad. 

Everyone deals with negative emotion, but sometimes we let it consume us. The negativity bias that our brain presents is something that we can learn to understand and in turn control. If you find yourself stuck focusing on your “missing pieces”, reach out to someone for help.  Do not suffer alone because we all have similar experiences and there are people willing to help.

Focus on your 999 beautiful pieces and let go of your one missing piece.

Dr. Julie Cappel

Join me on the Podcast!  
The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast with Dr. Julie Cappel

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Is there anything good about pain?

A friend of mine came to me yesterday and asked me about her pain.  She asked what I thought that she should do about the pain that she was having in her hip that was so excruciating it was keeping her from sleeping at night.  What would I do if it were my hip pain?  Go to urgent care, visit an emergency room, schedule an orthopedic appointment possibly weeks in the future, or tough it out and just take some Motrin?

This conversation got me to thinking about pain in general and the amount of pain that the people of this country and even the world are experiencing right now.  The Covid-19 pandemic, political upheaval in many of our cities, and overall fear of the future.  Our beautiful world is falling into so much unrest and pain right now, I wonder if we will ever recover.

Is there anything good about pain?

“Pain is a guarantee that you will be changed.”, says John Maxwell.  

There is no one that is untouched by pain in life.  Our response to painful experiences is what determines how that pain will change and mold us.  Will you cave to the pressure to respond in weakness, or will you rise up and fight for something better?  Will you develop into a better person, or will you slide into bitterness and hate?

Tony Robbins says, “we do things for one of two reasons, to seek pleasure or avoid pain.”  Our pain does not have to be physical, in fact most change in our life is created by emotional pain.  When we experience negative emotion, we are motivated to look inward.  We will be motivated to change more by pain than by any success.  Pain changes our overall perspective.  

We need pain in order to protect ourselves.  It is a warning that something physically or emotionally has gone wrong and we are motivated to change it. Pain changes us for the better or worse.  We can change our attitude, perspective, habits, and principles in order to work for good.

Rather than looking at pain as a punishment, we can choose to see it as a signal that we need to change course ever so slightly to reduce the pain, thus keeping us on a path to betterment and strength.

Pain is just life experience that you may use to become a better human.  Let’s choose better.

Dr. Julie Cappel

 “ Pain nourishes courage. You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” – Mary Tyler Moore

” Sometimes you must hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain, because life’s greatest lessons are learnt through pain.” –Nagato

Join me on the Podcast!  
The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast with Dr. Julie Cappel

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Are you financially prepared?

This Sunday morning as I was spending -- or more accurately, wasting -- a little time scrolling through my Facebook groups when I ran across a post from a veterinarian that was struggling with finances.  My first thought was, “of course veterinarians struggle; we don’t make much.”  My second thought was, “it does not have to be this way.” 

She was of retirement age and had worked as a veterinarian for over 35 years.  She had worked hard and long hours from the sound of it, but she was lamenting about the fact that she had no money saved and could not retire.  She was facing a surgery that would take her out of her practice for 3-6 months and she didn’t know how she would keep her business afloat while she was out of work.  How could she keep her one doctor practice going without the doctor?

Reading this post brought up thoughts of sadness and anger that this veterinarian had planned so poorly for her future. She cannot even take time out to care for herself let alone actually retire.  This women’s story made me want to scream, jump up and down, and warn every young person in our profession to walk a different path and make better decisions than some of your elders made. How do you get to the age of 68 and not have any money set aside for your future? 

I know what you are going to say: student loan debt, credit cards, divorce, kids, lack of health insurance, or medical bills that have built up over the years.  All things that happen to us, but if we are thoughtful with our money and work very hard, don’t have to take us down.

How do we do better?

No matter how much money you bring in, live on less.  Set yourself up a budget and follow it.  It sounds like the common sense that our parents and grandparents preached to us, but so many of us don’t follow their advice.  We blindly spend money that we do not have, using credit cards and taking out loans, so that we can have everything that we want NOW.  It is a little like Veruca Salt, the girl in Willie Wonka, “I want it now!”  No delayed gratification for us, we deserve to have everything that we want, regardless of our financial situation.  We are too impatient to wait and to save for anything.  This is precisely what gets us into trouble.  We don’t really need the new iPhone or tablet.  We don’t need Starbucks or restaurant food – except Taco Bell – we all need Taco Bell.  When your spending is planned ahead of time, your money will be more available for savings and retirement investing.

Pay off those student loans now.  Government sponsored forgiveness program are like handcuffs to your life.  Who wants to watch student loans loom over them for 20 years?  Get those suckers paid off as fast as you possibly can.  I was listening to Dave Ramsey’s podcast a few months ago and a young couple – they were both veterinarians – had come out of school with over $500,000 in debt between the two of them.  They decided that they were going to focus on their debt and get it paid off as soon as possible so they could live their lives without student loan debt.  They focused their attention on the debt, worked full time and weekends at emergency clinics, lived on a budget, drove beater cars, and paid off their debt in less than 5 years.  That’s right – two veterinarians, student loan free before they were 32 years old!  Listening to that couples’ story made me realize that veterinarians are not special when it comes to student loan debt.  You can overcome your debt in a short amount of time if you choose to focus in on it.

Contribute to your 401K or Simple IRA at your job. Every paycheck!  Please take advantage of your work retirement plan.  The younger you start, the more money you will have when you reach retirement.  You will think that is does not matter or that you cannot afford to contribute, but you will never miss the $25, $50 or $100 dollars that you contribute every 2 weeks.  Those small amounts will grow into hundreds of thousands of dollars in 20-30 years if it is invested in a good growth stock mutual fund.  You will never be sorry that you saved money for your future.  Many of the retirement plans offer employer matching as well, and that is just free money!  Don’t say no to free money!  Ever!

While I am using this women’s plight to make a point, I have tremendous sympathy for anyone that finds themselves in this situation.  Many of her peers have volunteered to help in her time of need, because that’s what generous veterinarians do. I want us to learn from her story and prevent others from finding themselves in her situation.  Money doesn’t buy happiness but having some control over it can buy you stability for your future.  

Dr. Julie Cappel

Do not save what is left after spending but spend what is left after saving. – Warren Buffett

“A simple fact that is hard to learn is that the time to save money is when you have some.”  - Joe Moore

Join me on The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast, where we talk about learning to change your life. Going from stress and burnout, to a life filled with balance and joy!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Leading With Fun.

This week, at our hospital, we had our monthly team meeting.  We meet each month in the middle of the day to discuss client service, hospital events, hospital policies, and procedures.  The meetings are usually well attended by the team because we have free lunch, and everyone gets to sit down and relax for couple hours.   At some of the meetings I do team building exercises designed to bring the team closer together and have a little fun.

 

This week it was a photo scavenger hunt with two teams and two cell phone cameras.  We ran around the hospital performing silly tasks and taking photos to try to compete with the other team.  As you can see in the photos, a good time was had by all.

Part of being a good leader is ensuring that your team is allowed, and encouraged, to have fun.  Why do good leaders want a fun workplace?

When team members are having fun, they are less stressed. People that are stressed make more mistakes, take more sick days, and have poorer communication that those that are less stressed. Fun reduces stress.

When team members have fun, they are more engaged in the business.  Engaged employees provide better customer service for your clients and pay more attention to details.

Productivity is also increase when people are having fun.  It may seem like having fun does not lead to work, but the truth is that some fun or relaxation time refreshes us and allows us to feel energized, engaged, and motivated allowing people to get more done.

When work is fun, the business has lower turnover.  People that know that their employer has their back and are allowed to have fun are less likely to look for another job.

How can we create fun for our team?

Watch your employees and observe when they have a good attitude or are having fun.  When you notice, tell them that you love to see them happy and having fun at work.  Participate in the merriment if you can and reward them for their great attitude.

Model a positive outlook them.  When you are the leader you are expected to do better and act better.  Do you enjoy your work?  If it is not obvious that you do, you need to share your feelings more openly with your team. If you as the leader have fun at work, your team will join you.

Allow them to have fun.  It is difficult as a leader to see people that are on the time clock not working, however it is important to allow your team some time to play.  Give them a little space to chat, joke or eat together.  Yesterday I bought my team donuts from the bakery across the street and they all took a minute to eat a donut together.  It takes a few minutes away from their work, however once they eat, they are much happier to get back to work and serve the clients.

Create enjoyment in your workplace.  This is my favorite step when it comes to fun for my team.  I love to create games and funs things for us to do at work.  I have done scavenger hunts, shopping trips, movies, puzzles, auctions, and so many games.  Our current hospital game involves a Barbie doll dressed in a lab coat.  We hide Barbie around the hospital (think - elf on a shelf).  When a team member happens to find her, that team member must write a compliment about another team member and post it in the lunchroom, on the board “Barbie Says”.  Then the team member has to hide her again for the next person to find. 

The last time I saw Barbie she was in a winter coat made of cotton balls and bandage material (because it is winter here in Michigan and she was cold).  

Work and fun are not mutually exclusive.  We can create a more successful work environment by simply creating and allowing a little fun. 

Lead well and have some fun.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” Dale Carnegie

Join me on The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast, where we talk about learning to change your life. Going from stress and burnout, to a life filled with balance and joy!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730