My Bold Friend

This week I had the distinct privilege to record a podcast with a bright, outspoken, and accomplished veterinarian. Dr. Jessica Moore-Jones is one of those people who I admire for her bold spirit and unapologetic personality. I met her virtually several months ago, and I have been a big fan of her ever since. She lives and works in Western Australia, where she runs her business, Unleashed Coaching and Consulting. She has been a veterinarian, shelter manager, and small business owner for several years and coaches veterinary groups teaching them resilience and success skills. She has a firm grasp of her opinions and is one of those who can speak her mind without regard for what others think. I aspire to be bolder like her. 

The dictionary defines bold as "Showing an ability to take risks: confident and courageous." I have always admired people who are brave and unafraid to be themselves. They know themselves and remain confident in their actions. I do have my bold moments, for sure, but It has taken me many years to truly embrace being bold about so many things in my life.  

Yesterday I had a bold moment in which I took a client to task about the way they were caring for their pet. They had allowed their severely obese dog to suffer from a serious infection for months. It was a sad case, and I pulled out my boldest self to tell the client what they needed to do to properly remedy the situation and care for their sweet dog. I am generally more fearless when advocating for another person or a pet than I am about protecting myself. 

How can I learn from Dr. Jessica's bold spirit and become bolder?  

I need to know my values and stay strong in my priorities. You cannot make solid and quick decisions if you are not strong in your values. Bold people are those that know what they want and stay focused on the important things. If I can remember to remain grounded in my morals and values, I can make solid decisions and take bold actions about my future.

Bold leaders have a strong sense of self-awareness. They are bold but not careless. They carefully study themselves to understand their strengths and weaknesses. They are not afraid to do the work that it takes to build on their strengths and let others cover for their shortcomings. They are not self-absorbed but self-aware. Bold leaders are the ones that can hire people that are smarter and faster than themselves to get the job done. They put their egos aside to better the team. I aspire to be a bold leader. 

Bold people speak up for themselves and are not worried about what others think of them. They are not loud or rude, but they speak their mind when it is important to do so. They speak up and also take action when action is needed. Boldness allows us to make confident decisions and not fear failure. 

To be bold, I need to remember to speak my mind, make firm decisions, and set boundaries to protect my time and values. So, I will take an example from Dr. Jessica and speak my mind with confidence.  I hope you do the same. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

"Be bold, be brave enough to be your true self." Queen Latifah

"It's only by being bold that you get anywhere." -- Richard Branson

Listen to Dr. Jessica Moore-Jones and me on The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

  

Spring Cleaning

I love a clean house, but I dislike cleaning house. It is a problem, I know, but this week I watched a couple of episodes of "Hoarders," and now I am supremely motivated to clean up my home and my mind.

If you have never watched an episode of this show, let me tell you why I find it fascinating. The extreme hoarders that they feature collect things to suppress and avoid their negative emotions. Most of them have experienced significant tragedy in their life, and their way of coping is to surround themselves with things. Most live with overwhelming hoards of possessions, garbage, insects, and even rat infestations. They work with therapists to help them deal with their emotions so they can, in turn, deal with their hoard.

This show interests me because I see the relationship between cleaning my home and working on my mind. I am not a hoarder, but I do sometimes avoid tedious tasks like washing windows.  My brain deserves the same treatment as my home when it comes to spring cleaning. With the pandemic finally coming to an end, I am ready for a clean-up of my house (especially the windows), my goals, and my brain.

 

Sometimes working on your mind feels impossible. There are so many things going on up there. It is often easier to ignore the thoughts and focus on anything fun. Eating, drinking, and Instagram feel so much better than taking on the overwhelming task of working on yourself. But as we have seen with our hoarding friends, ignoring your mind work leads to brain clutter. 

How do I coach myself to work on my brain?

Rekindle my goals. Spring is a great time to double down on those New Years' resolutions that I made in January. It is time to check in with myself and critically look at how I spend my time and energy. (I will not continue expending energy watching Hoarders - for a start.) If I refocus on my goals or resolutions, I will clean up my thinking about my accomplishments and take better steps towards creating my best work.

Work on my stories. We all have these stories that we keep in our minds about ourselves. They are most often negative things that we picked up somewhere in our younger days that haunt us in the present. I have a few of these. One of my main "self stories" is that I am unfocused and easily distracted. If I indulge in this story and believe it to be accurate, it keeps me from focusing and creating for myself. Meditate on your life, find a story that feels true for you, then work to let it go. Believing negative things about yourself does not pay. The sooner you work on cleaning up these brain stories, the sooner you can get moving in your life. 

Our homes and our brains need cleaning and care. My dirty windows are a direct reflection of my cluttered brain. So, let's use springtime as a marker for self-reflection and self-improvement.

If you need help with your brain cleaning, I am here for you. Likewise, if you want to help me clean my house — or wash my windows — I am open to that also.

Dr. Julie Cappel

Work with me!  https://www.juliecappel.com/coaching

Join me on the Podcast!!!

The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast | Podcast on Spotify

You never know

Many mornings, when my alarm goes off, my first thought is, “Oh, no! I don’t want to go to work today.” I snooze my alarm, once or sometimes twice, but never three times because my dogs will not let me sleep that long. I slog to the kitchen, let the dogs out, make their food, and start the coffee. 

I go through my morning routine, get ready for work, get in the car, and drive. No one is forcing me. I am free to stay in bed. Free to change careers. Free to quit.

I choose to go. 

My workdays are emotionally and physically exhausting. Challenging days when clients yell at me because I cannot perform miracles. Frustrating days when they berate my team because we cannot make time for them. Somber days when clients thank me through their tears for helping them say goodbye to a dear friend. Surprising days when I unexpectedly pull a moribund pet back to life from the brink of death. Joyful days when that wiggly little buff cocker spaniel puppy kisses me while piddling with pure excitement at meeting me for the first time.  

Why do I work? Because I choose to experience the emotional rollercoaster that is veterinary medicine. I prefer to see it as challenging and maybe even a little fun.

It seems to be automatic and expected that we complain about our work, but complaining about our day before it begins sets us up for failure. If we instead choose to see our day as a rich experience with a full range of human emotion, we may feel more excited about our work. Where else can you cry with a family one minute and cuddle a happy puppy in the next? Maybe we can see it like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates, “You never know what you are going to get.”

When I dive deep and start to question myself, it is apparent that I love what I do. Why else would I work at it every day for the past 30 plus years?  Why would I chose to take on a second career as a life coach for veterinarians if I did not love my veterinary life? I want to share that love with others in our profession.  I find a unique fulfillment in my ability to help pets, help people, and add value to the world.  

As much as I want you to think positively about your chosen career, I understand that this profession is no joke. My morning brain reminds me that it is hard.  It can be heartbreaking and fulfilling at the same time. Try to remember that there is value in the good and the bad experiences. Allowing yourself to feel all of the emotion that it brings will help you appreciate the many rewards. 

You can choose to go to work each day with negativity, or you can choose an attitude of expectation and possibility.

When tensions are high during a busy veterinary day, remember to stay humble, calm and look for the fun. You never know what you will get.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” —Steve Jobs

Join me on the Podcast!!!

The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast | Podcast on Spotify

How do I want to show up?

If the past year has taught us anything, it is how quickly life can change. The veterinary industry is working through many challenges, including increased demand and a decreased workforce.  My hospital is no exception. Since the end of last summer, we have been working with a skeleton crew when several of our team members left to either stay home with their children or take other positions. Those of us still working have been growing weary under the weight of our increased workload.  

When work increases and team capacity decreases, we may begin thinking of ourselves as victims. I experienced an episode of this on Thursday.  I was the only scheduled doctor with surgeries and also a spattering of client appointments. As I slogged through the pile of records that I had leftover from earlier in the week, attended to my surgeries, and answered the myriad of questions that my team brought to me, I started to feel overwhelmed. I am usually excited by a good challenge, but my brain goes into victim mode when I start to feel overwhelmed with stress. As I begin to feel like a victim, I become short with my team and reclusive. I want to crawl into a hole to protect myself from one more question. I get snappy and impatient. Finally, my brain tells me that it is all too much, and I start to indulge in my victim story. I begin to think, “Why do I have to do everything? Maybe I should just quit. Why won’t they leave me alone?” 

I have coached others and had coaching on this exact subject, but my brain still gets away from me sometimes. So, when I find myself thinking that I am a victim of my circumstances, I have to ask myself one key question to help bring myself out of my victim thinking.

How do you want to show up today?

My attitude is my responsibility and requires constant work on self-improvement. I have the power to change the way that I choose to think about everything. Self-development is the key to controlling ourselves when we start to feel overwhelmed and victimized. Your subconscious mind will direct you if you ignore training it to behave. I mean that if we don’t practice positive thinking, our brains will not learn to change from negativity to positivity.  

Decide who you want to be, and practice being that person each day—keeping in mind that we all need to experience failure to learn lessons. If you strive to take one small step towards your ideal self daily and visualize the person want to be, you can snap out of your thinking as soon as you realize that you are in victim mode.

Have some “power thoughts” at your disposal to use in times of extreme stress. For example, thinking things like, “You got this,” “All things will pass,” “You are a rock star,” or anything that helps you to drop the victim statements. Taking control of your brain requires you to teach it new and powerful thoughts. It may feel strange when you start to use these thoughts — they will feel inauthentic and cliche, but once your brain starts to believe them, it will be easier to get out of “poor me” and into solution mode. 

When you feel like a victim, remember to work to change your thinking and be the person you want to be.

Dr. Julie Cappel

"There’s nothing more daring than showing up, putting ourselves out there, and letting ourselves be seen.” - Brené Brown

Client Fatigue/Exhaustion

Fatigue feels mental. Exhaustion feels physical.  The veterinary profession is experiencing both.

Yesterday, as I was working at my busy veterinary hospital, I found myself feeling resentful about the way clients are treating myself and my team.  I am normally a pretty positive person, but it has become more and more challenging to look at some client behavior in a positive light.  Now don’t get me wrong, most of our clients are kind, patient, and appreciative, but the few bad applies are getting worse.  Social media has given them the power to retaliate, often anonymously, when they are unhappy.

Some show up late with no apology and then demand immediate service.  They do not wish to wait or reschedule.  Some make a wellness appointment, bring a list of multiple ailments that they want addressed, and then berate the technicians with, “Why is this taking so long? I have to take my son to soccer practice!”  I even have some clients try to threaten me with euthanasia — of their pet, not me  — if we cannot squeeze them in to keep them from having to consult an emergency hospital. 

We often struggle with high levels of stress and compassion fatigue in our profession, but that fatigue is starting to turn into full out physical exhaustion for many working in this industry.  Like many businesses in the United States, the veterinary industry is working shorthanded.  A recent US poll showed that 42% of small businesses report that they are struggling to fill job openings and are working with a diminished team.  Couple that with the fact that there is a drastic rise in demand for veterinary services and we are experiencing industry wide exhaustion.

Is there a way to keep the angry client demand from ruining us for the grateful clients?  Is there a way to keep from feeling overwhelmed, fatigued, and exhausted?

We need to recognize that clients control their behavior, we do not.  I do not always understand what is happening for them, but I know that their behavior is dictated by their feelings.  They may have stress in their home life or their experience in the pandemic.  Those negative feelings have now spilled over to create bad behavior that is directed at myself and my team. 

When clients are demanding or unreasonable, it usually comes from a place of pain. These folks are often the people that want the best for their pets.  Some are actual bullies, and if you give a bully an opening he will take it.  Do not let a bully know that they are intimidating you.  If you can calmly acknowledge their feelings and offer to help them, you will usually remain calm, strong, and in control.  They are misguided in thinking that rude demanding behavior will get them what they want.  You have the power to set boundaries in a kind firm manner.  Staying strong and unflappable is the only way to win over a bully, so push back a little and watch them back down.  If they don’t back down you can ask them to leave, but expect the negative review and prepare to ignore it.  Most bad reviews come from very unhappy people not anything that the business has done, and we all know it.

Set up some relief time for your team.  Working shorthanded can only be maintained for so long before people start to collapse mentally and physically.   Shorten your hospital hours, schedule more breaks into the day, and utilize your technology to communicate with clients.  Take some time off the clock — without phones ringing — even if for only 30 minutes.  Take a walk around the block with your team after work, or just step outside for a few minutes. Have a group lunch, build a puzzle, or play a game.  If you work in an area without emergency clinics, or you are the emergency clinic, find another clinic and try to cover for each other.  As a profession we need to come up with solutions between hospitals to share the burden, so team members can get a break.  

Just remember that you can only control your own behavior and care for your team during these trying times.  Our profession needs to work together to address client abuses and care for the mental health of ourselves and our teams.  We are the people that love animals, and we need to continue to love and care for ourselves so we can continue to do our important work.  The majority of the clients will appreciate your efforts to care for your team and yourself.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”- Parker Palmer

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” - Brené Brown