Thankful, Grateful, and a little "SAD."

This week we celebrated Thanksgiving, better for most of us this year because we are moving beyond Covid and living a more normal life. Gatherings are now acceptable, and there is far less fear and uncertainty with the vaccines and many more effective treatments. As I cooked my turkey and got my Christmas lights in order, I began to think about the year that passed and how I was feeling a little sad overall. How did this year go by so fast? Why is it winter already? I love Christmas lights, my family, turkey, and even a little snow, so why am I feeling low? 

I must admit, as the days are shorter and the weather gets colder, I start to feel a bit trapped and a little down. As I get up in the morning, it is dark, and as I leave work in the evening, it is dark. I start to feel less energetic. I love bike riding and hanging outdoors in the summer, but it is not the same for me when Michigan's weather gets ugly and cold.

I look forward to Christmas, but the change in seasons can get to me, and I feel slow and less ambitious. I want to arrive home, put on my stretchy pants, and crawl under a blanket on the couch to watch some lame competition show like Dancing with the Stars or maybe binge-watch a Netflix series. 

There is a thing called Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD that many people deal with each year, and because I am feeling a bit similar now, I thought I might do a little research on SAD to see what I could learn, and in turn, share with you in my blog. 

According to Norman Rosenthal, MD, who coined the term "Seasonal Affective Disorder" in 1986, 6% of people that live in the northern parts of the United States have SAD. Another 14% deal with a lesser form of SAD, called the "winter blues." I would add that some of us feel a bit off and struggle more with our ambition in the winter.  

The symptoms of SAD, as listed by The National Institute of Mental Health, are lack of energy, feeling sleepy, weight gain or loss, overeating, social withdrawal, restlessness, anxiety, irritability, and insomnia. It differs from major depression in that people don't often feel hopeless or worthless with SAD, most still function well during the day, and of course, it does not stay with them all year. 

To combat SAD or winter blues, you must get some good quality sleep. As I tend to do, staying up too late feels productive but can add to your anxiety by disrupting the hours that you should be resting. It works best to adopt an evening routine by making tea or reading before bed. Pick a bedtime and stick to it; Netflix will still be there tomorrow. 

It would help if you also had healthy food, exercise, vitamin D supplementation, and sunshine. SAD is thought to be associated with increased melatonin and decreased serotonin. You can increase your serotonin levels by natural sunlight exposure (even if you have to walk outside in the cold) or artificially with a lightbox designed to mimic sun exposure. The lightboxes have 20 times greater light than your regular indoor lighting. You can do both if you feel inclined, but get yourself in some light, eat well, and move your body.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy and coaching can help you change your thoughts and behaviors to bring you out of your funk. Working on yourself to set goals and prevent yourself from couch surfing all evening enables you to feel better. I know that if I do some thought work, practice yoga, or get my butt on my stationary bike for 30 minutes, I will think, sleep, and feel so much better. 

Now that I know why I may be feeling low, I am thankful that I have good information, access to that information, and the tools to implement change. I am grateful that I will spend a few weeks in Florida this year, where the sun shines brighter, and it is easier to get outside. I am thankful that I have Christmas lights, turkey, and friends who read this blog each week to encourage me to research and learn about things like SAD and "winter blues." 

I vow to work on myself this winter to do better. Let me know if you want to join me by setting some goals to feel less "SAD."  

Please leave me a comment or email @jacappeldvm@gmail.com.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“With every new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” Eleanore Roosevelt

“The best way out is always through.”  Robert Frost

Better than Happy

Is there something better than happiness? This is a strange question coming from someone that makes a living trying to make both pet owners and veterinarians feel happy. I work to help veterinarians love their work and owners to keep their healthy pets, so you would think that happiness is a primary goal of mine, right?  

In reality, studies have shown that chasing happiness makes us feel stressed and disappointed when circumstances don’t go as planned - when life happens. In her article in Atlantic Monthly, Emily Esfahani Smith writes, “The single-minded pursuit of happiness is ironically leaving people less happy.” She goes on to say, “Research has shown that having meaning and purpose in life increases overall well-being and life satisfaction, improves mental and physical health, enhances resiliency and self-esteem, and decreases the chances of depression.” I would also add the skill of handling human emotion to the list that helps us create a stable and purposeful life. 

This week I had the pleasure to speak to a group of young veterinarians at the Michigan Veterinary Medical Association’s Power of Ten Leadership Academy. This group helps young veterinarians interested in leadership gain the tools they need to feel confident and competent in all aspects of leadership. I spoke about “feeling better” in my morning session. I taught them thought work techniques and basic coaching principles to increase their emotional capacity. Training yourself to be willing to feel any emotion without fear and building skills in emotional intelligence is a powerful tool. The power is to be willing and able to feel grief, anger, frustration, and stress - all the things we try so hard to avoid. The more we are willing to feel negative emotions, the better our life will be.

Meaning, purpose, and emotional competence are much more important than happiness. That is not to say that happiness does not come from doing meaningful things, but true happiness comes from creating your best life. I mean accepting the things that come, handling the emotions, and pushing forward anyway. You cannot achieve your best life without experiencing many ups and downs, successes and failures.  

How do we start working towards emotional competence and purpose?

Belong to a group. It may be family, friends, church, or charity, but purpose comes from feeling a sense of belonging. Find some people that value you for who you are. If that seems difficult, work on your thoughts about your current relationships. Is it possible that you do belong? Reach out to those of us in the veterinary community. So many of us are working to improve the profession, and we would love to have one more person involved in that mission.  

Set some personal goals and create your life mission. Goal setting pushes us forward and keeps us from stagnation. Expect some obstacles and failures and embrace them. Each minor setback will make you stronger and teach you how to manage your mind around obstacles. Overcoming failure creates success. Connecting to a goal and something bigger than yourself is a great way to build meaning and purpose in your life.

Work on your thoughts to create a better self-image. So much of our unhappiness comes from our lack of self-confidence and impostor syndrome. Thought work can help you see where your brain is leading you astray and help you feel your real value. We are all worthy of outside respect and love, but our feelings always start within. Creating a better opinion of yourself will help you push forward towards happiness, fulfillment, self-worth.  

We all have the power to change our life and create more happiness. Whatever your current circumstances are, know that they are better than happiness and choose your attitude. Your feelings will not change in a day, but if you work towards purpose and emotional competence, you will be working towards a meaningful life. 

You can be better than happy.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Happiness is not the absence of problems; it’s the ability to deal with them.” - Steve Maraboli.

Motivation to Get Going

I spent the better part of this week struggling with the time change and the cold weather here in Michigan. I love the fall weather, but when November comes and we lose our daylight savings time, things seem to get a bit depressing, and I lose all motivation. Something about the change of seasons and the idea of the upcoming winter (with the holidays) adds stress to my brain. Then all I want to do is curl up and do nothing. As I write this, it has started snowing outside, which is very beautiful, but it reminds me I have Christmas lights to put up, Thanksgiving to shop for, Christmas presents to buy, housework to do, and there are still leaves on the ground to be raked. 

My brain is spinning, and I am overwhelmed. The overwhelming feelings lead to procrastination, but what I need is motivation!

Motivation is “the process that initiates, guides, and maintains goal-oriented behaviors.” Motivation can be external, as in a looming deadline, but it is more often something we need to work on internally.

So what can I do to get myself motivated when things seem overwhelming?

I first need to understand why I feel unmotivated. It stems from my thoughts about all the things that I have put on my plate. Fear and self-doubt creep in when I start to list them out in my head, and I don’t know where to start. 

I can start by focusing on one small task at a time. If you have many things on your mind getting motivated requires action. Choose one goal, then break that goal down into small tasks. Pick the most urgent or vital step and vow do it. Small steps are much less overwhelming to your brain, so the tiny step will be easier to accomplish. Beware of your brain wanting to pull you off or that task to do something more fun. You must vow to get it done. Once you have the first step under your belt, the second one will feel a bit easier.

Try not to focus on your entire situation. Negativity breeds more negativity, and that is how depression starts. Thoughts of self-pity or fear will pull you off task, so when you hear those negative voices in your head telling you that you can’t do it all, reject that voice. You may need to read something motivational or listen to an uplifting speech, but kick yourself in the butt and think something positive. I like to play uplifting music when I am feeling self-pity. You may not erase the negative thoughts altogether, but replacing them with positive thoughts and feelings certainly helps.

When you get something done, reward yourself. You can tell someone that you did something good so that they will give you a little acknowledgment. You can plan any small reward; make sure it does not sabotage your progress. For example, don’t spend three hours on social media to reward yourself for a baby step.  I like to “power pose” like Rocky or dance around a little when I get something difficult done. That way, my brain looks forward to what I am doing instead of back and what I missed. Giving yourself that little “high five” when you get something done is a tremendous mental reward. Then, start on step two; even if there is an internal struggle with your negative self, push through anyway. The more small steps you can get through, the more positive momentum you will create. 

If you are anything like me, you have taken on too much. I always overestimate what I can do on any given day. If that is the case for you, cut yourself some slack. Don’t think you are a failure if your list is longer than you can achieve. Try to be realistic with yourself and your goals. Think of your glass as half full, not half empty. Continue to push to excel. You may surprise yourself with the number of things you can get done.  

You can motivate yourself internally or externally, but either way, motivation is up to you. Setting goals, doing thought work, and taking action are ways to increase your motivation. You can do this! Pull yourself out of your funk and take control of yourself.

Now that my blog is complete, I can dance and get on to step two.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” - Carol Burnett.

“Every job — whether you’re washing dishes or performing kidney surgery — provides us with the opportunity to affirm our identities as capable, respectable individuals, upon whom the most important people in our lives can rely.” - Nick Tasler.

Listen to the Podcast!!  

The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast with Dr. Julie Cappel

 

Put yourself around those that raise you up.

It has been my experience that energy creates energy. When I am around happy people that work hard, I naturally feel more ambitious and optimistic. This phenomenon has been called proximity, or the proximity principle depending on who you read.

Jim Rohn says that we are the product of the five people we spend the most time with. Ken Colman says that seven out of ten workers report being unhappy at work, so there are many unhappy people that you may be hanging around in your workplace. If that is true in our veterinary hospitals, it makes sense that veterinary practices may feel toxic. I hear this complaint all the time from my coaching clients about different work situations. We spend a lot of time with our coworkers, and if they are a stressed mess, we will be stressed too. 

With this in mind, we need to understand that we have some responsibility for the energy that we bring to our practices. We may not have the power to choose our coworkers or immediately change jobs, but we do have the ability to influence the culture and the people.  If others influence our mood, we can directly influence theirs. You can use the power of your proximity to change the energy of your practice. Proximity can work both ways. Bring positive energy to every day and see if those around you change.

You may also use proximity to achieve goals. Tony Robbins said, “Proximity is power.” In other words, surround yourself with people who have already accomplished your goals and dreams. If you want to make a million dollars, you need to associate yourself with those that have made significant money and learn from them. Ask them about their financial philosophy, budgeting, and how they invest. Watching and imitating them will help you get your finances in order and increase your income. The money will not fall from the sky, but you will be more likely to make that million if you put in the work and learn from their example. 

If you want a new career, associate with someone that works in your chosen field. Getting to know people that already have what you want allows you to see how they got there. Be sure that your goals align with your morals and values, then put yourself where you can get involved in the area of your choice. If you feel intimidated, remember that everyone started somewhere, and even the most successful people were where you are now. Put yourself with those that you wish to be.

If you want to create more abundance or positivity in your life, find someone who has the attitude you want. People that work to create a positive mental attitude spend time and energy working on their minds. Do not be afraid or embarrassed asking for help to feel better. None of us are self-sufficient in all areas of our lives, so getting help when needed is a sign of strength. Putting yourself in the proximity of a good therapist or coach will help you achieve the energy and attitude you desire. 

Ask any successful person, and they will tell you that they didn’t get there alone. It takes a community to create any culture and proximity to the right people to create success. Find the right person to teach you what you need to know and be the right person to teach others. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“If you can get proximity with people that are the best in the world, things can happen because all of the people they know, the insights they have, and the life experience they have. They can save you a decade of time by one insight.” - Tony Robbins