Through my career in veterinary medicine and life coaching, I have met many wonderful people in every stage and position of their careers. I meet those in pre-veterinary programs, veterinary school students, new veterinary graduates, interns, specialists, industry veterinarians, and those nearing the end of their careers. This diverse mix of talented people has many things in common, but one that I hear often. They struggle with returning to peace after experiencing failure.
Like many professionals, veterinarians are intelligent, driven, ambitious, and perfectionistic. We hate failing, and even more problematic is our seeming inability to let that failure pass and work to find peace again. Failure follows us and sticks in our minds, preventing us from moving on with our careers, chasing our goals, and enjoying our lives.
I have been talking to veterinarians lately who have failed their NAVLE, some for the second, third, and fourth time, others who failed to get matched to internships, and some who are experiencing negative case outcomes or even board complaints. Many pre-veterinarians failed to get accepted to a veterinary school. Failure causes maximum stress and grief to our perfectionist personality.
It brings me to think about what I can do as an experienced veterinarian and life coach to help those in our profession who have suffered a failure. I want to help them return to peace and remain centered so they can go on to overcome their setback and proceed with their valuable career. We all have difficult external conditions and internal struggles that affect how peaceful we feel. To press forward toward our dreams, we must learn some skills to help us return to feeling centered and calm.
To feel peaceful is to be free from disturbance, to feel tranquil. To be centered is to feel emotionally confident, focused, and balanced. We can have both those feelings if we choose to work towards them after we experience an upset in our lives.
When a bad thing happens, such as failure or loss, you must first be willing to feel your negative emotions. No one likes to feel grief or sadness, but the way over it is through it. Having a willingness to feel any emotion is the pathway to peace. Take a little time to care for yourself, cry, get angry, and talk it through with a friend, family member, or trusted coach or counselor. Remain in it for a bit before working to get beyond it. Process the negative emotion all the way through so it doesn’t hang around and become a part of you.
Once your shock and sadness diminish, it is time to regain your peace. Start with self-compassion, mindfulness, and self-care. Pay attention to where you are and what you are doing now. Many of our daily tasks are not stressful, but thinking about multitasking, ruminating on past mistakes, and worrying about future results are the things that rob us of peace. Peace will come from mindfulness, remaining in the moment, and focusing on each task.
Remove distractions and be in your experiences. It is challenging to be at peace with the constant distractions that our cell phone and computer brings. Turn off your notifications, or put that phone away if that distracts you. When you are experiencing a joyful moment, do not try to capture it in a photo or video. If you are forever worried about capturing things in your life, you will not be present to enjoy them. Removing distractions is particularly important when studying for exams or spending time with your family. You will feel more at peace and better retain what you are learning without distractions.
Learn to let go of control. Letting go is difficult for all of us, but life is full of things we have no control over. We cannot control the weather, how others behave, traffic, veterinary schedules, and world events. These things will rob your peace if you try to control them. As a former hospital owner, business owner, and someone who likes to control my environment, I understand this may seem impossible. But, it is valuable to curb your impulse to control everything and let much of it go. When you want to change something beyond your control, take a short break and attempt to change your focus to something you can control.
There are many other things that you can do to get back into a peaceful mindset. You can practice deep breathing, meditation, yoga, participate in family time, listen to music, dance, experience nature, and spend time with your pets. Once you feel more centered and peaceful, it is time to return to your work. The pathway to your dream life comes from working towards goals in a focused, calm manner. Look forward and visualize your success - your time will come, so stay centered in your body and peaceful while doing the work and taking steps to proceed toward your future success.
Dr. Julie Cappel
“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.” — Saint Francis de Sales
“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” — Dalai Lama
“Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
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