Color me Summer

Most of us have so many responsibilities in life - work, home, kids, parents, pets - that we often forget to take care of the person that matters the most, ourselves. Taking care of you is your most important job and should be your first priority.  If you are a working mother, business owner, spouse, parent, or pet caretaker, everyone needs to take care of themselves first.  

Yesterday I was honored to go through a color analysis session with my daughter. Bridget lives in Dallas Texas and for the first time since the pandemic, my husband and I traveled to Dallas to visit her and her husband.  Bridget was introduced to color analysis about a year and a half ago when she and her sister in law went through a session and discovered their true colors.  She was immediately hooked on the process and loves using her color palette to choose clothing, makeup, and presenting her best self to the world. Bridget is a professional Opera singer and has many opportunities to use color to enhance her presentation during auditions and performances. 

The color theory is relatively simple - “Human coloration is diverse, beautiful, and affected by our undertones (color of our blood), and our natural skin pigmentation.”  “The goalof a Personal Color Analysis is to identify your natural color tone and to accurately place it into one of the scientifically organized 12 seasonal tones.”, says Rebecca Reid of Colorpolitan.   If we wear the colors that compete with our natural skin hues, we look, dull, sad, or invisible.  My skin has some yellow tones that were exaggerated when I was put in very bright colors, and I have always loved very bright colors.  Who knew that I was doing myself a disservice? Taking some time to visit with my daughter and learn something remarkable in the process was truly an exercise in honoring my authentic self.  

Taking care of and honoring yourself in any way, especially during this pandemic, is critical to your mental health and success. Self care can look like anything that pleases or relaxes you.  Whether you choose color analysis, exercise, healthy eating, reading, napping, or simply walking in nature.Anything to slow your mind and get to know yourself better will allow you to create space for better thoughts which will eliminate much of your stress.  

Reminding yourself to put you first will expand your ability to care for others.  Getting rest and energy on purpose before you extend care to others, increases your capacity for caring, understanding, and giving.  Your attitude will improve, you will expand your capacity for work, and you will allow yourself to set goals that never felt possible before.  Schedule your down time first and enter it into your calendar.  If you do that consistently each week you will be ready to step into the best version of yourself.  Filling your cup first gives you the ability to pour more out for others. 

Getting my color analysis done and learning that I am a “True Summer” was super fun and fascinating. Thank you Bridget and Rebecca for providing this amazing experience.

Schedule something fun and different this week to take care of you.  You will be better for it.

If you want to learn more about color analysis visit Rebecca’s website:  www.colorpolitan.com.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” - Lucille Ball

Why Don’t We Say No?

Why is it so hard for us to say no? I struggle, feel guilt, and often end up saying “yes" even if I feel a request will lead to my detriment.  People pleasers like me are always tempted to say yes, so we allow others to take precedence over ourselves.  I am proud of myself for learning to say no in many circumstances, but it continues to be a challenge.  

Yesterday I worked a busy Saturday at the veterinary hospital.  As the only doctor working, I was double booked the entire day. That didn’t stop clients from calling and asking for everything from a last minute “emergency” appointment for their itchy dog, to an emergency refill on that medication that they ran out of this morning.  Then add to that the person that is getting angry because they have been waiting 30 minutes to get in for their appointment.  At some point, we have got to say no, simply to protect ourselves. 

Most veterinarians have a hard time saying “no”  and many ENFJ’s have a hard time saying “no”,  so that leaves me as a notorious natural people pleaser.  My personality is hard wired to create harmony and make others happy.  That causes me at times to abuse myself and suffer with feeling overworked.  It helps me to think of people pleasing as actually lying — by telling people yes when we really want to say no, we are essentially lying to them. 

How do you begin to practice saying no in order to become skilled at not caving to others’ whims?

Accept that it is necessary.  The word “no” feels foreign to us because it makes us feel as if we are selfish and arrogant.  But saying no does not make us selfish at all.  We need to see it as protection and not as confrontation.  Practice saying it out loud.  My husband often tells me, “Look in the mirror and say no”. He knows that I am a people pleaser and an overachiever.  It helps to get someone that knows you well enough to keep you accountable.  When you say no to others, you are really protecting yourself. 

These changes in your thinking and action will not feel comfortable at first.  You will struggle with your brain —feeling guilt for not helping others; however, you need to start believing that you are the one that needs protection.  Your mental and physical health are important.  Keeping yourself healthy and whole will allow you to help more people in the long run by increasing your capacity.  The quality of your life and your relationships are directly related to the attention that you give to yourself.

Preset your personal boundaries.  You must have boundaries between your emotional wellbeing and another person.  Think of yourself as the guard in front of your mental and physical health.  Your job is to protect you first, your family second, and then your clients and coworkers.   Your first order of business is with you. 

Have a firm grasp on your priorities.  To make decisions that are best for you, you have to know yourself well.  What is your capacity for work?  What do you value?   Spend some time thinking about that and then listing your priorities.  Keep them in mind when making any decision.  Saying no is easier when you have a clear idea of what you really want out of life.  It has a lot to do with your integrity.

Years go by quickly, so do not procrastinate in properly managing your health.  Take care of your mind and body first and you will create more energy and strength to help others.  Learning to say no takes practice and resolve, but it will pay off by keeping you sane and healthy, and allow you to increase your capacity when the real important issues arise. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious.  You get to choose how you use it.  You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” ― Anna Taylor

Join me on the Podcast!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Leading With Fun.

This week, at our hospital, we had our monthly team meeting.  We meet each month in the middle of the day to discuss client service, hospital events, hospital policies, and procedures.  The meetings are usually well attended by the team because we have free lunch, and everyone gets to sit down and relax for couple hours.   At some of the meetings I do team building exercises designed to bring the team closer together and have a little fun.

 

This week it was a photo scavenger hunt with two teams and two cell phone cameras.  We ran around the hospital performing silly tasks and taking photos to try to compete with the other team.  As you can see in the photos, a good time was had by all.

Part of being a good leader is ensuring that your team is allowed, and encouraged, to have fun.  Why do good leaders want a fun workplace?

When team members are having fun, they are less stressed. People that are stressed make more mistakes, take more sick days, and have poorer communication that those that are less stressed. Fun reduces stress.

When team members have fun, they are more engaged in the business.  Engaged employees provide better customer service for your clients and pay more attention to details.

Productivity is also increase when people are having fun.  It may seem like having fun does not lead to work, but the truth is that some fun or relaxation time refreshes us and allows us to feel energized, engaged, and motivated allowing people to get more done.

When work is fun, the business has lower turnover.  People that know that their employer has their back and are allowed to have fun are less likely to look for another job.

How can we create fun for our team?

Watch your employees and observe when they have a good attitude or are having fun.  When you notice, tell them that you love to see them happy and having fun at work.  Participate in the merriment if you can and reward them for their great attitude.

Model a positive outlook them.  When you are the leader you are expected to do better and act better.  Do you enjoy your work?  If it is not obvious that you do, you need to share your feelings more openly with your team. If you as the leader have fun at work, your team will join you.

Allow them to have fun.  It is difficult as a leader to see people that are on the time clock not working, however it is important to allow your team some time to play.  Give them a little space to chat, joke or eat together.  Yesterday I bought my team donuts from the bakery across the street and they all took a minute to eat a donut together.  It takes a few minutes away from their work, however once they eat, they are much happier to get back to work and serve the clients.

Create enjoyment in your workplace.  This is my favorite step when it comes to fun for my team.  I love to create games and funs things for us to do at work.  I have done scavenger hunts, shopping trips, movies, puzzles, auctions, and so many games.  Our current hospital game involves a Barbie doll dressed in a lab coat.  We hide Barbie around the hospital (think - elf on a shelf).  When a team member happens to find her, that team member must write a compliment about another team member and post it in the lunchroom, on the board “Barbie Says”.  Then the team member has to hide her again for the next person to find. 

The last time I saw Barbie she was in a winter coat made of cotton balls and bandage material (because it is winter here in Michigan and she was cold).  

Work and fun are not mutually exclusive.  We can create a more successful work environment by simply creating and allowing a little fun. 

Lead well and have some fun.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” Dale Carnegie

Join me on The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast, where we talk about learning to change your life. Going from stress and burnout, to a life filled with balance and joy!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730