Take a lesson from autumn and let go.

I realized this week that autumn has arrived.  I say I realized it, not because I don’t know how to read a calendar, but because I took a walk with my work crew on Friday at noon in 70 degree weather and later that day left work at 40 degrees in the rain.  Yes, that’s my state Michigan.

I used to think of autumn as marching band and football season.  I spent years, when my kids were in band, sitting in the stands watching high school and college football games.  I loved those day so much!  Now, my kids have outgrown band and then there is covid, so I have zero opportunities to attend local games. I miss the music, the people, and the energetic atmosphere in the football stadium. 

Autumn is a time of turnover, renewal, and change.  From the summer’s lush beauty to the changing leaves that result in mostly naked trees.  There are lessons that we can learn from the changing seasons as nature turns over and prepares to bloom again in the spring. 

Learn to let go of things that do not serve you.  We all want to hang onto our past.  Whether it is happy memories like my marching band days, or a mediocre relationship or unfulfilling job.  We hang on to them because they feel comfortable and safe.  Our brain does not want to face the uncertainty of new thoughts and challenges.  We fear change, so we stay small.  

What if we learn to let go of our past like the trees let go of their leaves?  Would we then be open to self improvement or renewal? 

Allow yourself to examine the ways you are living in your past.  Thoughts of inadequacy held over from childhood will affect your ability to reach goals.  Concentrating on your past mistakes will keep you fearful of stepping up to new challenges. Examine your negative thoughts and choose instead to think in the present and trust yourself to create something better.

Take a lesson from the changes of autumn and let go of things that hold you back.  

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!” – Steve Maraboli

Tell me what you love about autumn and how you plan to let something go.

Let’s celebrate our big love for Veterinary Technicians

This week was Veterinary Technician Week  - the one week each year that the veterinary profession chooses to honor those multitalented individuals that help us to help the world’s pets.  Although we choose one week in October to honor them, we must acknowledge that there would be no such thing as modern veterinary medicine without the assistance of licensed veterinary technicians.  They are the glue that holds every practice together.  

The year 2020 has made this fact even more relevant due to the fact that we had to change the way we practice dramatically. The veterinary team had to redesign running our practice by taking work curbside; the technicians are taking the brunt of those curbside practice changes. 

The talented technician team that I work with consists of eight of the most caring, talented, versatile, empathetic people that I know.  Being a veterinary technician is not all about playing with kittens and cuddling puppies.  We all love that part of the job, but much of their time is spent working with panicked stricken, unruly, ninety pound dogs that want nothing better than to avoid treatment or harm the technician that is attempting to care for them.  Technicians frequently become bruised and battered by terrified or angry dogs in an attempt to help the patients that are presented to them. 

Veterinary technicians must be multitalented.  Each day they fill the roll of dental hygienist, anesthetist, radiographer, emergency room nurse, groomer, client educator, patient advocate, behaviorist, and phlebotomist. They must also be exceptionally emotionally stable, ignoring their own emotional needs in place of caring for others.   One of my technicians lost her own dog this week and then had to immediately return to work while grieving the loss of her own fur baby.  She spent the day taking care of clients’ pets instead of taking care of herself and her family during their time of loss. She represents the compassion and dedication embodied by most veterinary technicians.  You will see many a veterinary technician cradling a recovering surgical patient in their arms while eating their lunch, or bottle feeding baby kittens on their day off. 

So next week and for the rest of the year, let us not forget that these underpaid and under appreciated individuals work in this profession to take care of you and your pet.  Be kind when you encounter them and do not give them grief if they are running a little late for your nail trim or vaccine appointment. Tell them how much you appreciate them and the difficult job that they do. 

October hosts veterinary technician week, but I say every day should be “love your technician day”.  Much love to Becky, Carolyn, Shelley, Beth, Sam, Dawn, Jackie, and Deanna – my amazing technician friends.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a

listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all

of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ― Leo F. Buscaglia

Dr. Julie Cappel

Please share your best veterinary technician story to honor those who really run our veterinary hospitals.

Join me on The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Color me Summer

Most of us have so many responsibilities in life - work, home, kids, parents, pets - that we often forget to take care of the person that matters the most, ourselves. Taking care of you is your most important job and should be your first priority.  If you are a working mother, business owner, spouse, parent, or pet caretaker, everyone needs to take care of themselves first.  

Yesterday I was honored to go through a color analysis session with my daughter. Bridget lives in Dallas Texas and for the first time since the pandemic, my husband and I traveled to Dallas to visit her and her husband.  Bridget was introduced to color analysis about a year and a half ago when she and her sister in law went through a session and discovered their true colors.  She was immediately hooked on the process and loves using her color palette to choose clothing, makeup, and presenting her best self to the world. Bridget is a professional Opera singer and has many opportunities to use color to enhance her presentation during auditions and performances. 

The color theory is relatively simple - “Human coloration is diverse, beautiful, and affected by our undertones (color of our blood), and our natural skin pigmentation.”  “The goalof a Personal Color Analysis is to identify your natural color tone and to accurately place it into one of the scientifically organized 12 seasonal tones.”, says Rebecca Reid of Colorpolitan.   If we wear the colors that compete with our natural skin hues, we look, dull, sad, or invisible.  My skin has some yellow tones that were exaggerated when I was put in very bright colors, and I have always loved very bright colors.  Who knew that I was doing myself a disservice? Taking some time to visit with my daughter and learn something remarkable in the process was truly an exercise in honoring my authentic self.  

Taking care of and honoring yourself in any way, especially during this pandemic, is critical to your mental health and success. Self care can look like anything that pleases or relaxes you.  Whether you choose color analysis, exercise, healthy eating, reading, napping, or simply walking in nature.Anything to slow your mind and get to know yourself better will allow you to create space for better thoughts which will eliminate much of your stress.  

Reminding yourself to put you first will expand your ability to care for others.  Getting rest and energy on purpose before you extend care to others, increases your capacity for caring, understanding, and giving.  Your attitude will improve, you will expand your capacity for work, and you will allow yourself to set goals that never felt possible before.  Schedule your down time first and enter it into your calendar.  If you do that consistently each week you will be ready to step into the best version of yourself.  Filling your cup first gives you the ability to pour more out for others. 

Getting my color analysis done and learning that I am a “True Summer” was super fun and fascinating. Thank you Bridget and Rebecca for providing this amazing experience.

Schedule something fun and different this week to take care of you.  You will be better for it.

If you want to learn more about color analysis visit Rebecca’s website:  www.colorpolitan.com.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” - Lucille Ball

Why Don’t We Say No?

Why is it so hard for us to say no? I struggle, feel guilt, and often end up saying “yes" even if I feel a request will lead to my detriment.  People pleasers like me are always tempted to say yes, so we allow others to take precedence over ourselves.  I am proud of myself for learning to say no in many circumstances, but it continues to be a challenge.  

Yesterday I worked a busy Saturday at the veterinary hospital.  As the only doctor working, I was double booked the entire day. That didn’t stop clients from calling and asking for everything from a last minute “emergency” appointment for their itchy dog, to an emergency refill on that medication that they ran out of this morning.  Then add to that the person that is getting angry because they have been waiting 30 minutes to get in for their appointment.  At some point, we have got to say no, simply to protect ourselves. 

Most veterinarians have a hard time saying “no”  and many ENFJ’s have a hard time saying “no”,  so that leaves me as a notorious natural people pleaser.  My personality is hard wired to create harmony and make others happy.  That causes me at times to abuse myself and suffer with feeling overworked.  It helps me to think of people pleasing as actually lying — by telling people yes when we really want to say no, we are essentially lying to them. 

How do you begin to practice saying no in order to become skilled at not caving to others’ whims?

Accept that it is necessary.  The word “no” feels foreign to us because it makes us feel as if we are selfish and arrogant.  But saying no does not make us selfish at all.  We need to see it as protection and not as confrontation.  Practice saying it out loud.  My husband often tells me, “Look in the mirror and say no”. He knows that I am a people pleaser and an overachiever.  It helps to get someone that knows you well enough to keep you accountable.  When you say no to others, you are really protecting yourself. 

These changes in your thinking and action will not feel comfortable at first.  You will struggle with your brain —feeling guilt for not helping others; however, you need to start believing that you are the one that needs protection.  Your mental and physical health are important.  Keeping yourself healthy and whole will allow you to help more people in the long run by increasing your capacity.  The quality of your life and your relationships are directly related to the attention that you give to yourself.

Preset your personal boundaries.  You must have boundaries between your emotional wellbeing and another person.  Think of yourself as the guard in front of your mental and physical health.  Your job is to protect you first, your family second, and then your clients and coworkers.   Your first order of business is with you. 

Have a firm grasp on your priorities.  To make decisions that are best for you, you have to know yourself well.  What is your capacity for work?  What do you value?   Spend some time thinking about that and then listing your priorities.  Keep them in mind when making any decision.  Saying no is easier when you have a clear idea of what you really want out of life.  It has a lot to do with your integrity.

Years go by quickly, so do not procrastinate in properly managing your health.  Take care of your mind and body first and you will create more energy and strength to help others.  Learning to say no takes practice and resolve, but it will pay off by keeping you sane and healthy, and allow you to increase your capacity when the real important issues arise. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious.  You get to choose how you use it.  You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” ― Anna Taylor

Join me on the Podcast!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Big Change for Brownie

The past six months have really made me think about, how to think about change.  So many things in our lives have changed in dramatic ways.  Health and economic challenges brought on by a pandemic. political and social unrest, and family and friends unable to get together for fear of an invisible enemy. We have been locked down, masked up, and flooded with upsetting, conflicting information.  Even the way we practice medicine has changed drastically as we work to keep clients out of our buildings and they clamor to get in.  

Change often causes us to feel anxiety and brings up fear of the unknown, but if we work on thinking differently we can train our brain to see change as good.  

Good change such as the change that happened for my daughter’s little dog Brownie.  Brownie is a small three year old French Bulldog that was owned by a woman that was using her for breeding.  She was one of a number of dogs that were kept in a home to produce expensive French Bulldog puppies.  Brownie’s latest litter caused her to experience an emergency C-section and spay, which left her with two puppies to raise and ended her career as a breeder.  That is where her life and my daughter’s life came together. 

My daughter and her husband had been wanting a French Bulldog for awhile and had been debating whether to adopt another dog or try save the massive amount of money that it would require to get a French Bulldog puppy. So when my daughter and son-in-law learned that Brownie’s breeder wanted to re-home her, they immediately saw the situation as the answer to their financial dilemma.  

Brownie’s life was about to change forever.  She went from raising puppies to being adopted by my daughter and son-in-law and becoming their puppy - the apple of their eye.  She went from being called “Brownie”, to her new name, “Carmela Soprano”.  She is the queen of her Dallas Texas household and new little sister to their eight year old cat Stallone.  She has a small flight of stairs to help her to her faux fur blanket on the couch, a basket full of amazing toys, a pretty in pink collar and matching glow in the dark leash, and a “pooch pouch” carrier so she can be carried when she gets tired on her walks.  Carmela won the doggy lottery.  

For Brownie the change and transformation into Carmela was amazing to see, but because she is a dog, she really does not realize that she experienced great change.  She is happy to be cared for and loved no matter how much change she has seen.   We all experience changes that are not always positive, but we can choose to find some positive lessons in each life change.

Learn a little something from Carmela.  Look for a positive lesson from each change you experience.  Change is often your path to progress. Be true to yourself in all that you face and challenge your mind to enjoy change.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ― Rumi

Practice Daily Optimism - Choosing happiness in New York

What does it mean to practice optimism?  Some people seem to have it naturally while others choose it.  I think of myself as a naturally optimistic person but in the current world situation it can be difficult to keep my head on straight.

Last weekend I took my first plane trip since the beginning of Covid-19.  I traveled directly from Detroit to New York City where the virus cases seem to be declining.  The decision to make this trip really messed with my brain.  It was such a difficult decision to make, weighing the pros and cons of traveling during a pandemic.  Never before have I had so much anxiety about traveling.  Well, maybe in 2001, after 9/11 - I was very anxious after that.  

Why did I travel?  I really wanted to visit my son who I have not seen since February.  I wanted to see his new apartment, his place of work, and visit with him and his girlfriend.  I wanted to do all these things and still be as safe as possible and that was a real exercise in optimistic thinking.

Here is how I practiced daily optimism while traveling in a pandemic.

First, I chose to think optimistically.  When my brain told me that the plane would be full of germs and coughing people, I told my brain that the airline would be keeping things clean, distancing passengers, and filtering air. I decided on purpose that I would wear my best mask and keep myself as far away from everyone as possible.  I decided that I am a healthy person that has a great immune system and nothing to worry about.  I chose not to worry.

Second, I actively looked for all things positive.  The weather was beautiful, the airport was virtually empty, the people were polite, and New York was amazing.  I spent time with my son visiting, walking, and eating - too much eating  - we had a beautiful time.  The fact that all of our site-seeing time was spent walking around town and riding the ferry, allowed us to see all the beautiful sites of the city without the crowds.  I looked for all things positive and that is what I saw.

Third, I filled my life with supportive and optimistic people both before and after the trip.  Having people in your circle to listen to your concerns and help you to see things more optimistically is one way to stay in touch with your positive thoughts.  When you choose to keep a team of supportive people around you things will look better to you. Optimism will feel easier to accomplish. 

When you are feeling a bit pessimistic, remember that you have the power and ability to change the way that you think to become more optimistic.  Starting with small positive thoughts and then building on them will result in a positivity habit.  Our lives can never be safe and secure 100% of the time, and if we wait for total security and lack of risk, we will never reach our goals and truly live.  

Think things through and choose how you want to live, then practice daily optimism to help you take action. You may even decide to travel to New York.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“It’s not that optimism solves all of life’s problems; it is just that it can sometimes make the difference between coping and collapsing.” 

– Lucy MacDonald

Taking time to grow.

Did you know that many people never read for the purpose of learning after they graduate from high school or college?  They study to obtain their diploma, but never continue to study to personally grow.  That concept may sound foreign to the veterinary community because we continue study to keep up with medical changes;  however, it is just as important for us to continue our studies to foster personal growth.  Whether you want to develop your leadership skills, communication skills, or learn to sing and dance, working towards growth in those areas will keep you energized and avoid stagnation. 

How can you embrace growth and self improvement?

Just get started.  Any self-improvement journey starts with a beginning. There is no right way or wrong way to start but you need to work at something — take one baby step  —  to get going.  Because our brains are naturally programed to fear change, the first step is always the most difficult.  If you want to make a million dollars, you have to start with one.  If you want to create a podcast, you have to start recording.  Anything worth doing and learning will feel scary to you at first, but understand that you have the capacity to overcome your fear.  If you just get started you will be on a path to personal growth and each successive step will become easier.

Create a list of goals.  If you don’t do some self assessment and decide where you want to end,  you will never begin.  Take some time to explore your deepest desires and goals.  Start by writing a list of all the things that you have always wanted to do, then pick your top priority and plan the steps needed to accomplish that goal.  If you don’t know how to do something, do not despair.  There are plenty of people that can teach you to do anything and plenty of places to research.  Get over your fear and commit to a goal.

Create a new growth habit.  Stop spending time on social media unless you are using it to work towards your new goal.  Examine where you spend your time and resolve to carve out time for your new personal growth journey.  We waste so many hours in our day focused on what others are doing and allowing ourselves to coast through life.  Choose some time in your day for your mental and physical development so you can grow.

A commitment to personal growth will lead you to many successes if you choose to embrace it as part of your lifelong journey.

Dr. Julie Cappel

Benjamin Franklin said, “By improving yourself the world is made better.  Be not afraid of growing too slowly. Be afraid only of standing still. Forget your mistakes but remember what they taught you.”

 

Taking the High Road

Someone I know disappointed me today.  I expected a certain behavior in response to something I said and got a different, quite negative, response in return.  Why do we expect people to act in a certain way?  Why do we expect kindness, acceptance, and love from others?  We are human, so we know that we are all imperfect.  Maybe we should just start to expect people to disappoint us so we are not surprised when they do.

It happens so often, especially in this texting - tweeting - social media - saturated world.  People don’t have real conversations. There is no nuance or inflection to written conversation. People assume intent and take offense to anything based on their interpretation or past history.   They are often afraid to speak face-to-face to resolve conflict.  So we are stuck in a “sound bite” “cancel culture” environment.

How can we create kindness, be more open to differences of opinion, and take the higher road?

Remember that “hurting people hurt people”, says leadership guru John Maxwell.  Most often when a person strikes out at you, they are transferring their internal pain over to you.  They are angry at their life or negative circumstance, and you are just a convenient target for them to release their frustration.  It is not a personal attack, even though it can feel very personal.  If you can remember that the better approach is feeling empathy for their pain, it will be easier to let go and move on.

Try to remember that you can not be hurt unless you allow it.  Our feelings are entirely under our control.  Our thoughts and actions create how we feel.  If someone trashes us on social media, we have the ability to think about them in a different way.  By remembering that human beings are highly flawed and prone to reaction, you can allow yourself to take a moment to think before jumping into the negativity pool.  

Vow not to respond for 24 hours and see if you feel differently in the morning.  My husband calls this the “24-hour rule”.  He always encourages me to take some time to think through any situation or decision before reacting.  This includes taking time before reacting on social media.  Most of the time when I allow myself to think awhile and really consider all the angles, it results in a kinder, more accepting response. 

Let’s try to remember that we are all on this earth for a very short time, and disappointment and hurt are a waste of energy.  Creating kindness, acceptance, and love are what life is all about so do not waste one minute worrying about trivial things. 

Take the high road.

Dr. Julie Cappel

"How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours.” - Wayne Dyer

veterinarylifecoach.com

juliecappel.com

Is there anything good about pain?

A friend of mine came to me yesterday and asked me about her pain.  She asked what I thought that she should do about the pain that she was having in her hip that was so excruciating it was keeping her from sleeping at night.  What would I do if it were my hip pain?  Go to urgent care, visit an emergency room, schedule an orthopedic appointment possibly weeks in the future, or tough it out and just take some Motrin?

This conversation got me to thinking about pain in general and the amount of pain that the people of this country and even the world are experiencing right now.  The Covid-19 pandemic, political upheaval in many of our cities, and overall fear of the future.  Our beautiful world is falling into so much unrest and pain right now, I wonder if we will ever recover.

Is there anything good about pain?

“Pain is a guarantee that you will be changed.”, says John Maxwell.  

There is no one that is untouched by pain in life.  Our response to painful experiences is what determines how that pain will change and mold us.  Will you cave to the pressure to respond in weakness, or will you rise up and fight for something better?  Will you develop into a better person, or will you slide into bitterness and hate?

Tony Robbins says, “we do things for one of two reasons, to seek pleasure or avoid pain.”  Our pain does not have to be physical, in fact most change in our life is created by emotional pain.  When we experience negative emotion, we are motivated to look inward.  We will be motivated to change more by pain than by any success.  Pain changes our overall perspective.  

We need pain in order to protect ourselves.  It is a warning that something physically or emotionally has gone wrong and we are motivated to change it. Pain changes us for the better or worse.  We can change our attitude, perspective, habits, and principles in order to work for good.

Rather than looking at pain as a punishment, we can choose to see it as a signal that we need to change course ever so slightly to reduce the pain, thus keeping us on a path to betterment and strength.

Pain is just life experience that you may use to become a better human.  Let’s choose better.

Dr. Julie Cappel

 “ Pain nourishes courage. You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” – Mary Tyler Moore

” Sometimes you must hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain, because life’s greatest lessons are learnt through pain.” –Nagato

Join me on the Podcast!  
The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast with Dr. Julie Cappel

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Are you financially prepared?

This Sunday morning as I was spending -- or more accurately, wasting -- a little time scrolling through my Facebook groups when I ran across a post from a veterinarian that was struggling with finances.  My first thought was, “of course veterinarians struggle; we don’t make much.”  My second thought was, “it does not have to be this way.” 

She was of retirement age and had worked as a veterinarian for over 35 years.  She had worked hard and long hours from the sound of it, but she was lamenting about the fact that she had no money saved and could not retire.  She was facing a surgery that would take her out of her practice for 3-6 months and she didn’t know how she would keep her business afloat while she was out of work.  How could she keep her one doctor practice going without the doctor?

Reading this post brought up thoughts of sadness and anger that this veterinarian had planned so poorly for her future. She cannot even take time out to care for herself let alone actually retire.  This women’s story made me want to scream, jump up and down, and warn every young person in our profession to walk a different path and make better decisions than some of your elders made. How do you get to the age of 68 and not have any money set aside for your future? 

I know what you are going to say: student loan debt, credit cards, divorce, kids, lack of health insurance, or medical bills that have built up over the years.  All things that happen to us, but if we are thoughtful with our money and work very hard, don’t have to take us down.

How do we do better?

No matter how much money you bring in, live on less.  Set yourself up a budget and follow it.  It sounds like the common sense that our parents and grandparents preached to us, but so many of us don’t follow their advice.  We blindly spend money that we do not have, using credit cards and taking out loans, so that we can have everything that we want NOW.  It is a little like Veruca Salt, the girl in Willie Wonka, “I want it now!”  No delayed gratification for us, we deserve to have everything that we want, regardless of our financial situation.  We are too impatient to wait and to save for anything.  This is precisely what gets us into trouble.  We don’t really need the new iPhone or tablet.  We don’t need Starbucks or restaurant food – except Taco Bell – we all need Taco Bell.  When your spending is planned ahead of time, your money will be more available for savings and retirement investing.

Pay off those student loans now.  Government sponsored forgiveness program are like handcuffs to your life.  Who wants to watch student loans loom over them for 20 years?  Get those suckers paid off as fast as you possibly can.  I was listening to Dave Ramsey’s podcast a few months ago and a young couple – they were both veterinarians – had come out of school with over $500,000 in debt between the two of them.  They decided that they were going to focus on their debt and get it paid off as soon as possible so they could live their lives without student loan debt.  They focused their attention on the debt, worked full time and weekends at emergency clinics, lived on a budget, drove beater cars, and paid off their debt in less than 5 years.  That’s right – two veterinarians, student loan free before they were 32 years old!  Listening to that couples’ story made me realize that veterinarians are not special when it comes to student loan debt.  You can overcome your debt in a short amount of time if you choose to focus in on it.

Contribute to your 401K or Simple IRA at your job. Every paycheck!  Please take advantage of your work retirement plan.  The younger you start, the more money you will have when you reach retirement.  You will think that is does not matter or that you cannot afford to contribute, but you will never miss the $25, $50 or $100 dollars that you contribute every 2 weeks.  Those small amounts will grow into hundreds of thousands of dollars in 20-30 years if it is invested in a good growth stock mutual fund.  You will never be sorry that you saved money for your future.  Many of the retirement plans offer employer matching as well, and that is just free money!  Don’t say no to free money!  Ever!

While I am using this women’s plight to make a point, I have tremendous sympathy for anyone that finds themselves in this situation.  Many of her peers have volunteered to help in her time of need, because that’s what generous veterinarians do. I want us to learn from her story and prevent others from finding themselves in her situation.  Money doesn’t buy happiness but having some control over it can buy you stability for your future.  

Dr. Julie Cappel

Do not save what is left after spending but spend what is left after saving. – Warren Buffett

“A simple fact that is hard to learn is that the time to save money is when you have some.”  - Joe Moore

Join me on The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast, where we talk about learning to change your life. Going from stress and burnout, to a life filled with balance and joy!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730