Taking the High Road

Someone I know disappointed me today.  I expected a certain behavior in response to something I said and got a different, quite negative, response in return.  Why do we expect people to act in a certain way?  Why do we expect kindness, acceptance, and love from others?  We are human, so we know that we are all imperfect.  Maybe we should just start to expect people to disappoint us so we are not surprised when they do.

It happens so often, especially in this texting - tweeting - social media - saturated world.  People don’t have real conversations. There is no nuance or inflection to written conversation. People assume intent and take offense to anything based on their interpretation or past history.   They are often afraid to speak face-to-face to resolve conflict.  So we are stuck in a “sound bite” “cancel culture” environment.

How can we create kindness, be more open to differences of opinion, and take the higher road?

Remember that “hurting people hurt people”, says leadership guru John Maxwell.  Most often when a person strikes out at you, they are transferring their internal pain over to you.  They are angry at their life or negative circumstance, and you are just a convenient target for them to release their frustration.  It is not a personal attack, even though it can feel very personal.  If you can remember that the better approach is feeling empathy for their pain, it will be easier to let go and move on.

Try to remember that you can not be hurt unless you allow it.  Our feelings are entirely under our control.  Our thoughts and actions create how we feel.  If someone trashes us on social media, we have the ability to think about them in a different way.  By remembering that human beings are highly flawed and prone to reaction, you can allow yourself to take a moment to think before jumping into the negativity pool.  

Vow not to respond for 24 hours and see if you feel differently in the morning.  My husband calls this the “24-hour rule”.  He always encourages me to take some time to think through any situation or decision before reacting.  This includes taking time before reacting on social media.  Most of the time when I allow myself to think awhile and really consider all the angles, it results in a kinder, more accepting response. 

Let’s try to remember that we are all on this earth for a very short time, and disappointment and hurt are a waste of energy.  Creating kindness, acceptance, and love are what life is all about so do not waste one minute worrying about trivial things. 

Take the high road.

Dr. Julie Cappel

"How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours.” - Wayne Dyer

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