Living in my moment for the holidays

Oh no, here we go.  When Halloween passes I start to feel holiday anxiety.  I want to take down my Halloween decor and start putting up the Christmas lights as fast as I can.  I have a need, not unlike Clark Griswold, to put up as many lights as possible.  I feel pressure to decorate, shop, plan, and work, work, work.  Why do I do this to myself?

If 2020 has taught us anything, it is that we need to live more consciously in the moment. I vow to live more in the moment this holiday season and into the new year.

Let me smile more each day.  I can practice optimism more and minimize stress.  Smiling is my face telling my brain that I am really happy with my life.  No matter what is happening in any given day, I can vow to smile more and bring myself and others more joy.  Offering my optimistic attitude to myself first will help me to set an example for others.  If I can keep my brain out of the judgment zone and in the acceptance zone, it will allow for more joy.  

Let me forgive myself and others.  Resentment and shame are just negative emotions that will build and bring you down.  If someone has wronged you, don’t let them keep hurting you by hanging on to the resentment.  You can let go of the negative emotion without allowing their continued negativity to affect you.  I have had people come in and out of my life and I forgive them a
ll, but it does not mean that I need to actively pursue a relationship with them.  Attempting to change someones opinion of you is not a useful exercise.  Changing your opinion of yourself is. 

Let me chose to love my work.  Whether it is my veterinary work, my coaching, or housework, I have the power to choose to love whatever I am doing.  Even putting up the Christmas lights in the cold winter wind, can be enjoyable if I chose to think of it that way.  I have control over my attitude when it comes to work and play.  “Any task you undertake becomes a piece of cake, with a spoonful of sugar” to quote Mary Poppins.  

Let me think outside the box.  Keeping an open mind and a thirst for learning will open up me world to possibility.  The more I read and stay off of social media, the better my life will be. Work on yourself at a pace that feels comfortable, but do not stagnate.  A bit of change and challenge each day will help you grow and reach new goals. 

Let me let go of one bad habit.  My one bad habit is worry.   This year I participated in worry so many times. (I guess a pandemic will do that to a girl)   Over and over again I thought that I could control outcomes by worrying about them.   In not one case did any of the worry make a difference.  The worry is a wasted emotion.  I have improved over the years, but my personality has a strong grasp on worry.  This holiday I will work to let go of that bad habit.

I vow continue to work on myself and live in the moment for the rest of 2020 and into 2021.  How about you?

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Happiness, not in another place but this place...not for another hour, but this hour.” ― Walt Whitman

Join me on The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Take a lesson from autumn and let go.

I realized this week that autumn has arrived.  I say I realized it, not because I don’t know how to read a calendar, but because I took a walk with my work crew on Friday at noon in 70 degree weather and later that day left work at 40 degrees in the rain.  Yes, that’s my state Michigan.

I used to think of autumn as marching band and football season.  I spent years, when my kids were in band, sitting in the stands watching high school and college football games.  I loved those day so much!  Now, my kids have outgrown band and then there is covid, so I have zero opportunities to attend local games. I miss the music, the people, and the energetic atmosphere in the football stadium. 

Autumn is a time of turnover, renewal, and change.  From the summer’s lush beauty to the changing leaves that result in mostly naked trees.  There are lessons that we can learn from the changing seasons as nature turns over and prepares to bloom again in the spring. 

Learn to let go of things that do not serve you.  We all want to hang onto our past.  Whether it is happy memories like my marching band days, or a mediocre relationship or unfulfilling job.  We hang on to them because they feel comfortable and safe.  Our brain does not want to face the uncertainty of new thoughts and challenges.  We fear change, so we stay small.  

What if we learn to let go of our past like the trees let go of their leaves?  Would we then be open to self improvement or renewal? 

Allow yourself to examine the ways you are living in your past.  Thoughts of inadequacy held over from childhood will affect your ability to reach goals.  Concentrating on your past mistakes will keep you fearful of stepping up to new challenges. Examine your negative thoughts and choose instead to think in the present and trust yourself to create something better.

Take a lesson from the changes of autumn and let go of things that hold you back.  

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!” – Steve Maraboli

Tell me what you love about autumn and how you plan to let something go.

Let’s celebrate our big love for Veterinary Technicians

This week was Veterinary Technician Week  - the one week each year that the veterinary profession chooses to honor those multitalented individuals that help us to help the world’s pets.  Although we choose one week in October to honor them, we must acknowledge that there would be no such thing as modern veterinary medicine without the assistance of licensed veterinary technicians.  They are the glue that holds every practice together.  

The year 2020 has made this fact even more relevant due to the fact that we had to change the way we practice dramatically. The veterinary team had to redesign running our practice by taking work curbside; the technicians are taking the brunt of those curbside practice changes. 

The talented technician team that I work with consists of eight of the most caring, talented, versatile, empathetic people that I know.  Being a veterinary technician is not all about playing with kittens and cuddling puppies.  We all love that part of the job, but much of their time is spent working with panicked stricken, unruly, ninety pound dogs that want nothing better than to avoid treatment or harm the technician that is attempting to care for them.  Technicians frequently become bruised and battered by terrified or angry dogs in an attempt to help the patients that are presented to them. 

Veterinary technicians must be multitalented.  Each day they fill the roll of dental hygienist, anesthetist, radiographer, emergency room nurse, groomer, client educator, patient advocate, behaviorist, and phlebotomist. They must also be exceptionally emotionally stable, ignoring their own emotional needs in place of caring for others.   One of my technicians lost her own dog this week and then had to immediately return to work while grieving the loss of her own fur baby.  She spent the day taking care of clients’ pets instead of taking care of herself and her family during their time of loss. She represents the compassion and dedication embodied by most veterinary technicians.  You will see many a veterinary technician cradling a recovering surgical patient in their arms while eating their lunch, or bottle feeding baby kittens on their day off. 

So next week and for the rest of the year, let us not forget that these underpaid and under appreciated individuals work in this profession to take care of you and your pet.  Be kind when you encounter them and do not give them grief if they are running a little late for your nail trim or vaccine appointment. Tell them how much you appreciate them and the difficult job that they do. 

October hosts veterinary technician week, but I say every day should be “love your technician day”.  Much love to Becky, Carolyn, Shelley, Beth, Sam, Dawn, Jackie, and Deanna – my amazing technician friends.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a

listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all

of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ― Leo F. Buscaglia

Dr. Julie Cappel

Please share your best veterinary technician story to honor those who really run our veterinary hospitals.

Join me on The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Why so negative?

As I write this I am sitting 38037 feet above Springfield Missouri on my way with my husband back to Detroit, from Texas. We spent the week visiting my daughter and her husband in Texas and my mother in law and her husband in Oklahoma.  I am sitting near the window looking out into a crystal clear sky and I can see the ground beneath the plane slowly passing.  The reason I know our altitude and location is that there is a screen on the back of the person’s seat in front of me that gives me the details of the flight second by second.  I know where we are, our altitude, and how fast the plane is flying  - 493 mile per hour .  There are a variety of movies, TV, radio, and video content at my fingertips on the same screen.  I have a book to read, my laptop computer, and a variety of snacks that I bought at the airport.  The flight attendant even offered me wine, which I declined, but how much better can my life get?  I am wearing a mask, but that did not stop me from partaking in the snacks.  As I look out over the vast earth below me I think of how many people on the ground have problems today? How many are ill or suffering?  How many have lost their jobs or are worrying about paying bills? How many are joyful? 

I admit that there have been days in the past few weeks that I have had negative thoughts about little things in life.  Negative thoughts about something that happened at work, negative thoughts about the presidential election, and negative thoughts about things I own or things that I desire.   Why so negative, when I have so many blessings? 

Our inherent negativity bias is a big reason why we have evolved to use our higher brain.  We have learned to use that higher brain to recognize the negative thoughts, accept them, and then choose to change them to more positive productive thoughts, on purpose.  There is so much magic in this ability to think through things and choose kindness and compassion over anger and hate. 

My friend lost his wife last week to cancer.  She had fought for over 5 years and lost her life to the devastating disease.  He and his family posted on Facebook that they were choosing to share memories, laughter, and love in the wake of her passing in place of sorrow or anger.  They chose to honor her memory rather than morn her passing  There is power in his families’ choice.  In place of bitterness about the disease that took her life, they choose instead to celebrate her with cherished memories and love.  I am sure that is the way she would have wanted them to react to her beautiful life.

The choice to create better thoughts is available to every human in every circumstance.  Before I started looking out the window at the earth below me, I was thinking that my back was hurting, I was bored of sitting, my feet were cold, and I did not  like wearing a mask for the whole flight-"stupid pandemic!"-my brain thought.  I was feeling restless, crabby, and supremely ungrateful.  As I realized that my brain was acting like a baby, I  changed my thinking to create feelings of gratitude.  I chose to feel grateful for the team at my veterinary hospital that held down the fort for 7 days.  I chose to feel blessed that I have a daughter and son in law to visit in Texas whose beauty and wit are beyond compare. Blessed to have my husband, son, and parents who are all healthy and thriving.  Blessed to have this weekly blog to write, and my podcast - where I get to learn, coach, and offer support to the veterinary community.

This week I vow to set some goals, do some work, compliment some people, offer my financial support to someone in need, appreciate the beauty of the earth and all the things in it.  If I am blessed to live to see another year, I want to arrive as a better person than I am today.  I will continue changing my negative self talk, negative opinions, and scroll by those negative social media stories.   I vow to change my negative thoughts to positive ones.  

How do you choose to feel this week?  Positive I hope.

Dr. Julie Cappel

Join me on the Podcast!

The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Color me Summer

Most of us have so many responsibilities in life - work, home, kids, parents, pets - that we often forget to take care of the person that matters the most, ourselves. Taking care of you is your most important job and should be your first priority.  If you are a working mother, business owner, spouse, parent, or pet caretaker, everyone needs to take care of themselves first.  

Yesterday I was honored to go through a color analysis session with my daughter. Bridget lives in Dallas Texas and for the first time since the pandemic, my husband and I traveled to Dallas to visit her and her husband.  Bridget was introduced to color analysis about a year and a half ago when she and her sister in law went through a session and discovered their true colors.  She was immediately hooked on the process and loves using her color palette to choose clothing, makeup, and presenting her best self to the world. Bridget is a professional Opera singer and has many opportunities to use color to enhance her presentation during auditions and performances. 

The color theory is relatively simple - “Human coloration is diverse, beautiful, and affected by our undertones (color of our blood), and our natural skin pigmentation.”  “The goalof a Personal Color Analysis is to identify your natural color tone and to accurately place it into one of the scientifically organized 12 seasonal tones.”, says Rebecca Reid of Colorpolitan.   If we wear the colors that compete with our natural skin hues, we look, dull, sad, or invisible.  My skin has some yellow tones that were exaggerated when I was put in very bright colors, and I have always loved very bright colors.  Who knew that I was doing myself a disservice? Taking some time to visit with my daughter and learn something remarkable in the process was truly an exercise in honoring my authentic self.  

Taking care of and honoring yourself in any way, especially during this pandemic, is critical to your mental health and success. Self care can look like anything that pleases or relaxes you.  Whether you choose color analysis, exercise, healthy eating, reading, napping, or simply walking in nature.Anything to slow your mind and get to know yourself better will allow you to create space for better thoughts which will eliminate much of your stress.  

Reminding yourself to put you first will expand your ability to care for others.  Getting rest and energy on purpose before you extend care to others, increases your capacity for caring, understanding, and giving.  Your attitude will improve, you will expand your capacity for work, and you will allow yourself to set goals that never felt possible before.  Schedule your down time first and enter it into your calendar.  If you do that consistently each week you will be ready to step into the best version of yourself.  Filling your cup first gives you the ability to pour more out for others. 

Getting my color analysis done and learning that I am a “True Summer” was super fun and fascinating. Thank you Bridget and Rebecca for providing this amazing experience.

Schedule something fun and different this week to take care of you.  You will be better for it.

If you want to learn more about color analysis visit Rebecca’s website:  www.colorpolitan.com.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” - Lucille Ball

Can we all just get along?

As a veterinarian who has spent my life helping people and pets, without any concern for their political leanings, it disturbs me how contentious this year has become.  With Covid-19 mandating that we change the way we practice veterinary medicine and the associated unrest in our country, we have been faced with some clients who disagree with our protocols and procedures regarding Covid-19.  This has caused increase cases of verbal and physical abuse being laid at the feet of receptionists, technicians and veterinarians.  There have been people swearing, threatening, throwing things, and destroying property at many of the veterinary hospitals in our area.

Why don’t we all just get along?

Douglas E. Noll, a lawyer and expert mediator, explains that, “Human beings are emotional not rational.  As the conflict develops, we perceive it as a threat, and we may blame, attack, or withdraw.”

The ugly nature of people is just bubbling beneath the surface at any given moment.  We are all capable of lashing out to another person when we feel that things are not going our way. The part of our brain that fears rejection, failure, or isolation, kicks in when we are in conflict.  We want to fight for our opinions to remain relevant and feel heard. 

We must train ourselves to be better.

Most of us had mothers that told us, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”   Our mothers knew that we needed to be reminded to be kind because it did not always come naturally.   Using our prefrontal cortex that allows us to think rationally —  along with some prompting from our mothers — we can overcome our need to react negatively to others.  

Practice compassion for all other humans and allow for differing opinions.  We all want to be free to live our lives as we wish, but freedom requires the ability to differ.  If a client wants to give their view on how you should practice, be open to listening.  Staying calm with compassion is always the best way to keep yourself from being sucked into an argument.  Appreciate differences and remain open minded to others’ views. 

Have realistic expectations that others will not always act kindly towards you and vow to not strike back.  If you understand that most of the people you encounter will be kind, but some will not, you will be prepared to let the bad encounters roll off your back and you can stay out of the mud.

Take care of your team during these difficult times.  Have frequent conversations with fellow veterinarians and your team members so they feel supported.  Associating with others that are experiencing the same situations will allow all to feel understood, supported, and safe.

Humans are emotional and also beautifully unique.  Let’s value our differences and try to get along.

Dr. Julie Cappel

Why Don’t We Say No?

Why is it so hard for us to say no? I struggle, feel guilt, and often end up saying “yes" even if I feel a request will lead to my detriment.  People pleasers like me are always tempted to say yes, so we allow others to take precedence over ourselves.  I am proud of myself for learning to say no in many circumstances, but it continues to be a challenge.  

Yesterday I worked a busy Saturday at the veterinary hospital.  As the only doctor working, I was double booked the entire day. That didn’t stop clients from calling and asking for everything from a last minute “emergency” appointment for their itchy dog, to an emergency refill on that medication that they ran out of this morning.  Then add to that the person that is getting angry because they have been waiting 30 minutes to get in for their appointment.  At some point, we have got to say no, simply to protect ourselves. 

Most veterinarians have a hard time saying “no”  and many ENFJ’s have a hard time saying “no”,  so that leaves me as a notorious natural people pleaser.  My personality is hard wired to create harmony and make others happy.  That causes me at times to abuse myself and suffer with feeling overworked.  It helps me to think of people pleasing as actually lying — by telling people yes when we really want to say no, we are essentially lying to them. 

How do you begin to practice saying no in order to become skilled at not caving to others’ whims?

Accept that it is necessary.  The word “no” feels foreign to us because it makes us feel as if we are selfish and arrogant.  But saying no does not make us selfish at all.  We need to see it as protection and not as confrontation.  Practice saying it out loud.  My husband often tells me, “Look in the mirror and say no”. He knows that I am a people pleaser and an overachiever.  It helps to get someone that knows you well enough to keep you accountable.  When you say no to others, you are really protecting yourself. 

These changes in your thinking and action will not feel comfortable at first.  You will struggle with your brain —feeling guilt for not helping others; however, you need to start believing that you are the one that needs protection.  Your mental and physical health are important.  Keeping yourself healthy and whole will allow you to help more people in the long run by increasing your capacity.  The quality of your life and your relationships are directly related to the attention that you give to yourself.

Preset your personal boundaries.  You must have boundaries between your emotional wellbeing and another person.  Think of yourself as the guard in front of your mental and physical health.  Your job is to protect you first, your family second, and then your clients and coworkers.   Your first order of business is with you. 

Have a firm grasp on your priorities.  To make decisions that are best for you, you have to know yourself well.  What is your capacity for work?  What do you value?   Spend some time thinking about that and then listing your priorities.  Keep them in mind when making any decision.  Saying no is easier when you have a clear idea of what you really want out of life.  It has a lot to do with your integrity.

Years go by quickly, so do not procrastinate in properly managing your health.  Take care of your mind and body first and you will create more energy and strength to help others.  Learning to say no takes practice and resolve, but it will pay off by keeping you sane and healthy, and allow you to increase your capacity when the real important issues arise. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious.  You get to choose how you use it.  You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” ― Anna Taylor

Join me on the Podcast!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

I will be patient.

My name is Julie and I am an impatient person.

Anyone that knows me understands that although I can sometimes be patient — I am usually pretty patient with animals — I am generally extremely impatient.  It is something that I understand about myself and have worked on improving over the years.  My natural personality wants things to happen fast, or at least happen on time.   I want people to get to the point when they are telling me a story.  I prefer to operate with end results in mind.

I was reminded of my natural impatience yesterday as I listened (seemingly forever) to a client. She told me three long, drawn-out stories about the other pets in her household.  Three long stories before she got to the point as to why she needed advice about her cat. Stories that I really did not need to hear and that had no bearing on the situation.  Did I have to practice my patience?  You bet I did.  

This long story short scenario happens all too frequently for me.

Patience is such an important skill for veterinarians and for all of us.  It is even considered an essential building block for improving mental health.This is why I find it so important for myself and all of us to continue to work towards increased patience.  

Improving our patience requires that we learn about how we are wired — how we think about ourselves and others.  Our thoughts create our feelings, so we must learn about the irrational thoughts that can overcome us when we are caught in the emotions of impatience.  If we can understand that our impatient thoughts are optional, we will be better able to communicate calmly and adjust our responses in order to keep client encounters positive and remain patient.  

Improving patience requires us to act like an adult.  Children throw tantrums to get what they want but adults learn to control their emotions.  Emotions are powerful things. If we can learn why we have these emotions, we can become better at actually feeling the emotion of impatience without allowing it to control our actions.  Sitting with impatience is a skill that can be learned and practiced.

Patience will help us to succeed by allowing us to better listen to others.  We all know that getting the entire story from a client can take time.  I enjoy the detective work that goes into getting a good history to help me to diagnose a case.  The detective work often takes patience as the client fills me in on seemingly unimportant facts so I can weed out the things that I need to help with a correct diagnosis.  

Learn how you respond to waiting.  Once you learn about your response, you will be better able to understand and feel your impatience.   Understanding that impatience is not often a useful emotion will allow you to let it go and improve your ability to develop your patience.

Keep practicing.  You know that I will.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in your mind.”  - David G. Allen

 

 

 

Big Change for Brownie

The past six months have really made me think about, how to think about change.  So many things in our lives have changed in dramatic ways.  Health and economic challenges brought on by a pandemic. political and social unrest, and family and friends unable to get together for fear of an invisible enemy. We have been locked down, masked up, and flooded with upsetting, conflicting information.  Even the way we practice medicine has changed drastically as we work to keep clients out of our buildings and they clamor to get in.  

Change often causes us to feel anxiety and brings up fear of the unknown, but if we work on thinking differently we can train our brain to see change as good.  

Good change such as the change that happened for my daughter’s little dog Brownie.  Brownie is a small three year old French Bulldog that was owned by a woman that was using her for breeding.  She was one of a number of dogs that were kept in a home to produce expensive French Bulldog puppies.  Brownie’s latest litter caused her to experience an emergency C-section and spay, which left her with two puppies to raise and ended her career as a breeder.  That is where her life and my daughter’s life came together. 

My daughter and her husband had been wanting a French Bulldog for awhile and had been debating whether to adopt another dog or try save the massive amount of money that it would require to get a French Bulldog puppy. So when my daughter and son-in-law learned that Brownie’s breeder wanted to re-home her, they immediately saw the situation as the answer to their financial dilemma.  

Brownie’s life was about to change forever.  She went from raising puppies to being adopted by my daughter and son-in-law and becoming their puppy - the apple of their eye.  She went from being called “Brownie”, to her new name, “Carmela Soprano”.  She is the queen of her Dallas Texas household and new little sister to their eight year old cat Stallone.  She has a small flight of stairs to help her to her faux fur blanket on the couch, a basket full of amazing toys, a pretty in pink collar and matching glow in the dark leash, and a “pooch pouch” carrier so she can be carried when she gets tired on her walks.  Carmela won the doggy lottery.  

For Brownie the change and transformation into Carmela was amazing to see, but because she is a dog, she really does not realize that she experienced great change.  She is happy to be cared for and loved no matter how much change she has seen.   We all experience changes that are not always positive, but we can choose to find some positive lessons in each life change.

Learn a little something from Carmela.  Look for a positive lesson from each change you experience.  Change is often your path to progress. Be true to yourself in all that you face and challenge your mind to enjoy change.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ― Rumi

The power of self-awareness.

This week I had the distinct privilege to work with a group of young Michigan veterinarians and veterinary students as a mentor for the Power of Ten Leadership Academy.  I have been a supporter of this program for years and for the past two classes have been one of their two veterinary mentors.  The program is filled with fresh veterinary faces eager to improve their skills as leaders in the veterinary profession. Speakers are brought in each quarter to challenge us in new ways to develop ourselves into better leaders and better humans.  I love the program because each session I learn something new from the speakers and from the students that I mentor. 

The program that we attended on Friday and Saturday revolved around leadership development through self-awareness. Self-awareness is defined as, “conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires.”  Working to become a better leader starts with looking inward.

Dr. Travis Bradberry, author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, describes self-awareness as the core component of emotional intelligence.  He defines emotional intelligence as the ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and the ability to manage those emotions. 

How do you create more self-awareness and learn to manage your emotions?

The first step that we took was to work through a personality assessment.  I love personality profiling systems as tools to get to know myself better and to learn more about others.  We used the DISC profiling system, taught to us brilliantly by John, our MVMA CEO.  The DISC system helps identify our preferred behavioral styles by looking at a combination of the four DISC styles.  Whether you use DISC, Meyer’s Briggs, Enneagram or The Big Five Personality tests, getting to know yourself on a deeper level will help you understand how you react to situations, and help you to understand the people that you lead. 

Self-awareness requires that you to understand your emotions.  Learning that your emotions are created by your thinking and learning not to fear your emotions, is a key step in developing leadership maturity.  Staying on your toes with regards to self examination in your response to all circumstances will allow you to change and grow in the areas of your greatest emotional strengths.

Self-awareness requires you to stay curious.  One of the primary attributes of a good leader is a healthy curiosity and thirst for life long learning. Looking to other strong leaders to learn from their experiences will open up your mind to ideas that will help you develop your leadership skills.  The Power of Ten Leadership Academy is a group filled with healthy curiosity. 

If you work to understand yourself, learn to feel your emotions, and remain curious you will embody the power of leadership self-awareness. Knowing yourself well is the most important step in becoming an authentic powerful leader.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Strong people have a strong sense of self-worth and self-awareness; they don’t need the approval of others.” ― Roy T. Bennett 

Practice Daily Optimism - Choosing happiness in New York

What does it mean to practice optimism?  Some people seem to have it naturally while others choose it.  I think of myself as a naturally optimistic person but in the current world situation it can be difficult to keep my head on straight.

Last weekend I took my first plane trip since the beginning of Covid-19.  I traveled directly from Detroit to New York City where the virus cases seem to be declining.  The decision to make this trip really messed with my brain.  It was such a difficult decision to make, weighing the pros and cons of traveling during a pandemic.  Never before have I had so much anxiety about traveling.  Well, maybe in 2001, after 9/11 - I was very anxious after that.  

Why did I travel?  I really wanted to visit my son who I have not seen since February.  I wanted to see his new apartment, his place of work, and visit with him and his girlfriend.  I wanted to do all these things and still be as safe as possible and that was a real exercise in optimistic thinking.

Here is how I practiced daily optimism while traveling in a pandemic.

First, I chose to think optimistically.  When my brain told me that the plane would be full of germs and coughing people, I told my brain that the airline would be keeping things clean, distancing passengers, and filtering air. I decided on purpose that I would wear my best mask and keep myself as far away from everyone as possible.  I decided that I am a healthy person that has a great immune system and nothing to worry about.  I chose not to worry.

Second, I actively looked for all things positive.  The weather was beautiful, the airport was virtually empty, the people were polite, and New York was amazing.  I spent time with my son visiting, walking, and eating - too much eating  - we had a beautiful time.  The fact that all of our site-seeing time was spent walking around town and riding the ferry, allowed us to see all the beautiful sites of the city without the crowds.  I looked for all things positive and that is what I saw.

Third, I filled my life with supportive and optimistic people both before and after the trip.  Having people in your circle to listen to your concerns and help you to see things more optimistically is one way to stay in touch with your positive thoughts.  When you choose to keep a team of supportive people around you things will look better to you. Optimism will feel easier to accomplish. 

When you are feeling a bit pessimistic, remember that you have the power and ability to change the way that you think to become more optimistic.  Starting with small positive thoughts and then building on them will result in a positivity habit.  Our lives can never be safe and secure 100% of the time, and if we wait for total security and lack of risk, we will never reach our goals and truly live.  

Think things through and choose how you want to live, then practice daily optimism to help you take action. You may even decide to travel to New York.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“It’s not that optimism solves all of life’s problems; it is just that it can sometimes make the difference between coping and collapsing.” 

– Lucy MacDonald