The power of self-awareness.

This week I had the distinct privilege to work with a group of young Michigan veterinarians and veterinary students as a mentor for the Power of Ten Leadership Academy.  I have been a supporter of this program for years and for the past two classes have been one of their two veterinary mentors.  The program is filled with fresh veterinary faces eager to improve their skills as leaders in the veterinary profession. Speakers are brought in each quarter to challenge us in new ways to develop ourselves into better leaders and better humans.  I love the program because each session I learn something new from the speakers and from the students that I mentor. 

The program that we attended on Friday and Saturday revolved around leadership development through self-awareness. Self-awareness is defined as, “conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires.”  Working to become a better leader starts with looking inward.

Dr. Travis Bradberry, author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, describes self-awareness as the core component of emotional intelligence.  He defines emotional intelligence as the ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and the ability to manage those emotions. 

How do you create more self-awareness and learn to manage your emotions?

The first step that we took was to work through a personality assessment.  I love personality profiling systems as tools to get to know myself better and to learn more about others.  We used the DISC profiling system, taught to us brilliantly by John, our MVMA CEO.  The DISC system helps identify our preferred behavioral styles by looking at a combination of the four DISC styles.  Whether you use DISC, Meyer’s Briggs, Enneagram or The Big Five Personality tests, getting to know yourself on a deeper level will help you understand how you react to situations, and help you to understand the people that you lead. 

Self-awareness requires that you to understand your emotions.  Learning that your emotions are created by your thinking and learning not to fear your emotions, is a key step in developing leadership maturity.  Staying on your toes with regards to self examination in your response to all circumstances will allow you to change and grow in the areas of your greatest emotional strengths.

Self-awareness requires you to stay curious.  One of the primary attributes of a good leader is a healthy curiosity and thirst for life long learning. Looking to other strong leaders to learn from their experiences will open up your mind to ideas that will help you develop your leadership skills.  The Power of Ten Leadership Academy is a group filled with healthy curiosity. 

If you work to understand yourself, learn to feel your emotions, and remain curious you will embody the power of leadership self-awareness. Knowing yourself well is the most important step in becoming an authentic powerful leader.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Strong people have a strong sense of self-worth and self-awareness; they don’t need the approval of others.” ― Roy T. Bennett 

Practice Daily Optimism - Choosing happiness in New York

What does it mean to practice optimism?  Some people seem to have it naturally while others choose it.  I think of myself as a naturally optimistic person but in the current world situation it can be difficult to keep my head on straight.

Last weekend I took my first plane trip since the beginning of Covid-19.  I traveled directly from Detroit to New York City where the virus cases seem to be declining.  The decision to make this trip really messed with my brain.  It was such a difficult decision to make, weighing the pros and cons of traveling during a pandemic.  Never before have I had so much anxiety about traveling.  Well, maybe in 2001, after 9/11 - I was very anxious after that.  

Why did I travel?  I really wanted to visit my son who I have not seen since February.  I wanted to see his new apartment, his place of work, and visit with him and his girlfriend.  I wanted to do all these things and still be as safe as possible and that was a real exercise in optimistic thinking.

Here is how I practiced daily optimism while traveling in a pandemic.

First, I chose to think optimistically.  When my brain told me that the plane would be full of germs and coughing people, I told my brain that the airline would be keeping things clean, distancing passengers, and filtering air. I decided on purpose that I would wear my best mask and keep myself as far away from everyone as possible.  I decided that I am a healthy person that has a great immune system and nothing to worry about.  I chose not to worry.

Second, I actively looked for all things positive.  The weather was beautiful, the airport was virtually empty, the people were polite, and New York was amazing.  I spent time with my son visiting, walking, and eating - too much eating  - we had a beautiful time.  The fact that all of our site-seeing time was spent walking around town and riding the ferry, allowed us to see all the beautiful sites of the city without the crowds.  I looked for all things positive and that is what I saw.

Third, I filled my life with supportive and optimistic people both before and after the trip.  Having people in your circle to listen to your concerns and help you to see things more optimistically is one way to stay in touch with your positive thoughts.  When you choose to keep a team of supportive people around you things will look better to you. Optimism will feel easier to accomplish. 

When you are feeling a bit pessimistic, remember that you have the power and ability to change the way that you think to become more optimistic.  Starting with small positive thoughts and then building on them will result in a positivity habit.  Our lives can never be safe and secure 100% of the time, and if we wait for total security and lack of risk, we will never reach our goals and truly live.  

Think things through and choose how you want to live, then practice daily optimism to help you take action. You may even decide to travel to New York.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“It’s not that optimism solves all of life’s problems; it is just that it can sometimes make the difference between coping and collapsing.” 

– Lucy MacDonald

Taking time to grow.

Did you know that many people never read for the purpose of learning after they graduate from high school or college?  They study to obtain their diploma, but never continue to study to personally grow.  That concept may sound foreign to the veterinary community because we continue study to keep up with medical changes;  however, it is just as important for us to continue our studies to foster personal growth.  Whether you want to develop your leadership skills, communication skills, or learn to sing and dance, working towards growth in those areas will keep you energized and avoid stagnation. 

How can you embrace growth and self improvement?

Just get started.  Any self-improvement journey starts with a beginning. There is no right way or wrong way to start but you need to work at something — take one baby step  —  to get going.  Because our brains are naturally programed to fear change, the first step is always the most difficult.  If you want to make a million dollars, you have to start with one.  If you want to create a podcast, you have to start recording.  Anything worth doing and learning will feel scary to you at first, but understand that you have the capacity to overcome your fear.  If you just get started you will be on a path to personal growth and each successive step will become easier.

Create a list of goals.  If you don’t do some self assessment and decide where you want to end,  you will never begin.  Take some time to explore your deepest desires and goals.  Start by writing a list of all the things that you have always wanted to do, then pick your top priority and plan the steps needed to accomplish that goal.  If you don’t know how to do something, do not despair.  There are plenty of people that can teach you to do anything and plenty of places to research.  Get over your fear and commit to a goal.

Create a new growth habit.  Stop spending time on social media unless you are using it to work towards your new goal.  Examine where you spend your time and resolve to carve out time for your new personal growth journey.  We waste so many hours in our day focused on what others are doing and allowing ourselves to coast through life.  Choose some time in your day for your mental and physical development so you can grow.

A commitment to personal growth will lead you to many successes if you choose to embrace it as part of your lifelong journey.

Dr. Julie Cappel

Benjamin Franklin said, “By improving yourself the world is made better.  Be not afraid of growing too slowly. Be afraid only of standing still. Forget your mistakes but remember what they taught you.”

 

Taking the High Road

Someone I know disappointed me today.  I expected a certain behavior in response to something I said and got a different, quite negative, response in return.  Why do we expect people to act in a certain way?  Why do we expect kindness, acceptance, and love from others?  We are human, so we know that we are all imperfect.  Maybe we should just start to expect people to disappoint us so we are not surprised when they do.

It happens so often, especially in this texting - tweeting - social media - saturated world.  People don’t have real conversations. There is no nuance or inflection to written conversation. People assume intent and take offense to anything based on their interpretation or past history.   They are often afraid to speak face-to-face to resolve conflict.  So we are stuck in a “sound bite” “cancel culture” environment.

How can we create kindness, be more open to differences of opinion, and take the higher road?

Remember that “hurting people hurt people”, says leadership guru John Maxwell.  Most often when a person strikes out at you, they are transferring their internal pain over to you.  They are angry at their life or negative circumstance, and you are just a convenient target for them to release their frustration.  It is not a personal attack, even though it can feel very personal.  If you can remember that the better approach is feeling empathy for their pain, it will be easier to let go and move on.

Try to remember that you can not be hurt unless you allow it.  Our feelings are entirely under our control.  Our thoughts and actions create how we feel.  If someone trashes us on social media, we have the ability to think about them in a different way.  By remembering that human beings are highly flawed and prone to reaction, you can allow yourself to take a moment to think before jumping into the negativity pool.  

Vow not to respond for 24 hours and see if you feel differently in the morning.  My husband calls this the “24-hour rule”.  He always encourages me to take some time to think through any situation or decision before reacting.  This includes taking time before reacting on social media.  Most of the time when I allow myself to think awhile and really consider all the angles, it results in a kinder, more accepting response. 

Let’s try to remember that we are all on this earth for a very short time, and disappointment and hurt are a waste of energy.  Creating kindness, acceptance, and love are what life is all about so do not waste one minute worrying about trivial things. 

Take the high road.

Dr. Julie Cappel

"How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours.” - Wayne Dyer

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Pandemic Fatigue

This week I was on vacation from the veterinary hospital.  Vacation from my day job in today’s world does not mean joyous trips to Disney or Florida beaches.  It means the same things that I have been doing for months — minus the driving to the veterinary hospital.  I ride my bike, write blogs, visit family over zoom, coach my clients, record my podcast, and pass time cleaning out closets. I have been doing the same thing for months and I am feeling a bit fatigued by it all.  My brain wants to make plans for travel, attend gatherings, and socialize, but there is no clear path to normalcy during a pandemic. 

Compassion fatigue is familiar to veterinarians — feeling tired and overwhelmed by the constant emotion of empathy that we provide to our clients.  Changes created by Covid-19 have made it even more difficult to create a positive narrative for our work and home life.  We feel feelings of loss for our previous lifestyle. Practicing medicine “curbside” has created new challenges and added to our work fatigue.

So as the days, weeks, and months go by how do we keep from losing ourselves to pandemic fatigue?  

Don’t make any big life changing decisions.  Just because you are feeling fatigued and overwhelmed now, does not mean that you will not love your job again.  Most of us started in veterinary medicine because we love to help people and animals. Now we are missing half of that equation. Remember that the people are still out there in the parking lot.  They need you just as much as they did before and you can be there for them. 

Set some boundaries. At most hospitals now the case loads are skyrocketing.  More people staying home, adopting pets, and being more observant.  That causes them to visit us more often.  Without more bodies in our clinics we are unable to see every case.  Setting a boundary around your time is something you need to do to keep yourself healthy and whole.  Try to remember that it is not your responsibility to see every pet.  Create a boundary for yourself and only see what you can reasonably do in a day.  Take care of yourself first and you will be better equipped to help again tomorrow. 

Cut yourself some slack.  We all have a tendency to think negatively and beat ourselves up for every little thing.  You have the ability to have a bad day, feel a bit sorry for yourself then, move on to better thoughts. Perfectionism hurts you by keeping you in the mindset that someone else can do better or is inherently better.   That kind of thinking is detrimental to your success.  The truth is that there is no perfect answer or outcome.   Allow yourself to see you as perfectly suited for each situation in your life. You are always worthy. 

Going through this pandemic is emotionally and physically exhausting, but if we stay focused on the positive and accept the negative we will fight off the temptation give in to pandemic fatigue.  

Dr. Julie Cappel

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The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast

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