Is there anything good about pain?

A friend of mine came to me yesterday and asked me about her pain.  She asked what I thought that she should do about the pain that she was having in her hip that was so excruciating it was keeping her from sleeping at night.  What would I do if it were my hip pain?  Go to urgent care, visit an emergency room, schedule an orthopedic appointment possibly weeks in the future, or tough it out and just take some Motrin?

This conversation got me to thinking about pain in general and the amount of pain that the people of this country and even the world are experiencing right now.  The Covid-19 pandemic, political upheaval in many of our cities, and overall fear of the future.  Our beautiful world is falling into so much unrest and pain right now, I wonder if we will ever recover.

Is there anything good about pain?

“Pain is a guarantee that you will be changed.”, says John Maxwell.  

There is no one that is untouched by pain in life.  Our response to painful experiences is what determines how that pain will change and mold us.  Will you cave to the pressure to respond in weakness, or will you rise up and fight for something better?  Will you develop into a better person, or will you slide into bitterness and hate?

Tony Robbins says, “we do things for one of two reasons, to seek pleasure or avoid pain.”  Our pain does not have to be physical, in fact most change in our life is created by emotional pain.  When we experience negative emotion, we are motivated to look inward.  We will be motivated to change more by pain than by any success.  Pain changes our overall perspective.  

We need pain in order to protect ourselves.  It is a warning that something physically or emotionally has gone wrong and we are motivated to change it. Pain changes us for the better or worse.  We can change our attitude, perspective, habits, and principles in order to work for good.

Rather than looking at pain as a punishment, we can choose to see it as a signal that we need to change course ever so slightly to reduce the pain, thus keeping us on a path to betterment and strength.

Pain is just life experience that you may use to become a better human.  Let’s choose better.

Dr. Julie Cappel

 “ Pain nourishes courage. You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” – Mary Tyler Moore

” Sometimes you must hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain, because life’s greatest lessons are learnt through pain.” –Nagato

Join me on the Podcast!  
The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast with Dr. Julie Cappel

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Where your attention goes, your power and energy flows.

In recent months it has become increasingly obvious that the world offers many challenges.  Physical, emotional, financial challenges that we are facing daily.  Keeping our minds focused on our personal goals and dreams seems impossible. Each news story, each social media post, each derogatory online review, causes us to question our path and even sometimes our existence.  How can we become a positive light in this negative world? 

Two words, focused attention!

Have you heard it said that where your attention goes, the energy flows -- where your energy goes that focus grows? 

Your life becomes what you focus your attention on.  If I read my negative online reviews and focus on them, I will feel badly about my career.  If I read the negative, learn from them, and let them go focusing on only the positive reviews, I am more likely to feel better about my work and career.  That is why you need to focus your attention on where you want to go. 

Do you focus on your mistakes, your weight, your past, and your failures?  No wonder you are struggling to feel better.  Those things will grow in your mind and keep you from moving past them and forward.  If you are focused on those things, they will become larger and sap your energy. Don’t focus on what you fear or want to avoid. 

You have the ability to change your life by simply changing your attention and focus.  How?

Start with a big picture.  You have to have a target to move towards in order to have focus.  Starting with your why, choose something that you want to do and create a mental picture of yourself when you get there.  Do you want to lose 10 pounds, run a marathon, start a business, or create a boundary?  Visualize yourself with that goal completed.  Once you have focused attention on the end, you can start to create the steps needed to get you there.  Make yourself a vision board, write an outline, or anything that helps you see the goal.   Practice thinking of yourself as the person that has already created that result for yourself.

Once you have your goal in mind, plan out the steps that you think it will take to get there.  This is where some of us get hung up, because we indulge in confusion and self-doubt.  We are uncertain of the exact steps.  It is OK if you don’t know all the steps, but you need to get a list of things to get you started in the direction of the goal.  Make sure to rank them starting with those that are most important and most difficult, so you can tackle those first.  Your brain will want to avoid the difficult steps. (remember your brain wants everything easy).  Once you have the steps listed out and prioritized, you can begin the process of focused work.  Remind yourself that even when things feel difficult, keeping yourself focused will ultimately fuel your fire.

Create a daily routine.  When attempting to focus your mind, you really have to look at your daily routine.  Habits are difficult to make and just as difficult to break.  If you are focusing on social media and negative news stories, your brain will stay negative.  If you want to reach a goal you need to change your negative habits.  Focused meditation exercises, reading empowering material, and following thought leaders’ blogs and podcasts will help you replace your negative daily routine with a more positive focus on your goal.

Remember that it will take some time to change your attention to thinking about the future. Anything worth having is worth the work to get there.

Stay focused, stay positive, and change one day at a time.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Where focus goes, energy flows. And where energy flows, whatever you're focusing on grows. Shift your focus toward where you want to go, and your actions will take you in that direction.”  – Tony Robbins

Join me on the Podcast!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730 

Hug a puppy – change your mind.

The last few months have been difficult for all of us at home and at the veterinary hospitals.  Working with our clients out of the building has presented some unique challenges.   Many people are working from home or out of work, and they are flooding the veterinary hospital with cases -- we have been working our butts off.  The veterinary teams are stressed, physically exhausted, and overwhelmed.  We are struggling to stay positive and enjoy our jobs.

When we are faced with so many negative narratives and circumstances, it is difficult to keep our mind positive to love what we do.

 

Enter the puppies!

One very positive thing that is happening during the pandemic is the puppies – so many puppies.  People have gotten new puppies while they have been quarantined at home.  We have seen French bulldogs, an English bulldog, a Boston terrier, several labradoodles, a beagle, a border collie, Pit bulls, two sweet matching pug sisters, and many more.

The puppies make our days better mostly because they are happy, sweet, cute, wiggly and they make us think differently about our jobs.  They remind us that when life is hard, there are always things to look forward to. Puppies are never sad -- they look at the world in such a positive way. 

Happy, successful people also think differently.  If you want to be happy and successful, change your thinking. Humans tend to focus on the negative things that happen in a day and ignore the positive. Puppies see only positive.  Let’s think more like puppies.

How do you change your thinking?

Ask yourself why.  We often ask ourselves why something outside of ourselves happens, but we don’t often explore our own reactions. Why does it bother me when a client complains about the 15-30-minute wait in their car?  Why does it bother me when a client does not take my advice?  Is there another way to think about it?  Asking yourself some questions about your reactions will allow you to learn about your mind.  The more we learn about how we think the more power we have to change it. 

Find something to anchor yourself to.  I learned about the Law of Attraction many years ago and it has served me well.  When you are suffering with a negative mindset you need someone or something to hold on to.  A religion, spiritual practice, mentor, or coach. Someone or something to turn to in your time of need when things feel impossible.  Having that grounding influence will allow you to change your thinking about any situation. If you want to attract more positivity you have to surround yourself with some positive influence.

Slow down or stop to smell the roses.  We are often so wrapped up in our day that we forget to appreciate the little things that we need to appreciate.  The sun on our face or the wind in our hair as we visit a client’s car.   Taking off our mask for a brief moment to kiss the wiggly sweet puppy.  Stop just for a minute to appreciate those things and your negativity will start to wane. 

Take a few lessons from the innocent happy puppies that you see today and indulge in a wiggle and a smile.  You will be a better human for it.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“We sometimes underestimate the influence of little things…” - Charles W. Chesnutt

New podcast this week!!!  Join me to talk about compassion fatigue and all the other things that we struggle with.  I will help!
The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730 

Get some stuff done!

We all have many things that we want to get done.  There are short-term and long-term life goals, and then there are the things that you have to get done in order to get a paycheck or keep yourself and your family clothed and fed.  We know the, “have to” things are usually the priority so by the end of the day when we only have half of them done, we become stressed, frustrated, and overwhelmed.  Also, just so tired.  

 

I have been struggling for the past few weeks with getting things done.  My weekly blog, my podcast, my job, my housework, and even my eating and exercise are taking a back seat to my confusion.  My mind is all over the place with ideas of the things that I would like to get done but there are so many things that need doing. What to do next?  When I think about it, I become overwhelmed with all the possibilities. I indulge in the emotion of confusion, causing my brain to shut down and want to grab a snack and watch something really mindless on Netflix.

How do we get out from under the indulgent emotion of confusion in order to take steps towards accomplishing a goal? 

First practice some self-compassion.  Stop beating yourself up over what you did not get done today. When you berate yourself you just create more excuses and allow your brain to believe that you are no good at accomplishing tasks and attaining goals.  This will add to your confusion.

Let go of the thought, “I don’t know”.  Thinking that you don’t know how to do something feels valid but when you think it your brain automatically shuts down.  If your brain shuts down, you are not able to take a step to choose something to do. When you think that you don’t know, ask yourself one question.  What would I do if I did know?  Answer that question and you can start on a plan.

In order to get started and create momentum, choose just one thing to focus on and complete each day.  If you start with one small thing and do it consistently it will begin to become a habit.  You can start small. Ten minutes of reading, exercise or meditation each day consistently will turn into something that you commit to.  Once you have developed a new habit you can expand into another task or take the next step towards your goal. 

When you feel yourself falling into the trap of self-indulgent confusion, understand where that emotion is coming from.  Hold space to feel self-compassion and then force yourself to choose a first step towards your goal.  Even if that first step is not obvious take an action anyway.  With each action you will learn what works and what fails.   If you choose one step at a time, commit to an action consistently, and follow up with a second action, you will eventually reach any goal.

Now, I need to go get something done.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Join me and my daughter Bridget on the podcast last week and this week.  We talk about Myers Briggs personality types as leaders.  Learn something about yourself with us!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730
 

Here (over) comes the Bride

Today we hosted a wedding in the backyard of our home for a close friend and her family.  This beautiful bride had been planning her wedding for two years, when three months out, a worldwide pandemic hit. 

 Of course, she had “save the date” and shower invitations printed and sent.  She had purchased, flowers, food and favors.  She had chosen bridesmaids and their dresses, shoes, hair and makeup, the photographer, a DJ and her venue.  All things that brides do for the most important day of their life.

 The bride and her fiancé were forced to make a judgement call as to whether they wanted to postpone the wedding until another future date or change the wedding plans to hold a small ceremony keeping their original wedding date.    When the bride asked us if we would host the wedding ceremony in our yard, we were honored to help and excited to have something, anything, to look forward to in our quarantine.

 I was able to talk to the bride about how she envisioned her day and as she was telling me she started to cry.  This was not what she had in mind when she accepted the proposal.  She had the big dress, big venue, big party vision.  She had the hundreds of people dancing the electric slide, large bridal party event in mind.  This was far from what she wanted.

 What do you do when life throws Covid-19 into the middle of your wedding day plans? 

Cry a lot at first, accept that things have changed, then put on your Wonder Woman cape and start to make a new plan.

 Accept that life will throw you curve balls.  When you have a plan, it helps to keep in mind that nothing in life is certain.  A friend of mine has a motto that she follows, “No expectations, no assumptions, no regrets”.  To me this means that if you accept that life is always uncertain, you may be better able to change course when something does go wrong.  Accept that the “new” wedding will be different.

 Don’t “curb your enthusiasm”.  Keep your excitement going for the new plans.  Even though a small wedding ceremony in the back yard of your friend’s house was not your original plan, staying enthusiastic for the revised wedding plans allows for increased creativity and joy for the event.  Allowing yourself to stay excited will help you let go of your previous disappointment.

 This bride’s wedding day today was truly fabulous in every way.  The weather was a perfect sunny 70 degrees.  The beautifully decorated archway set on the edge of the lush green woods was the perfect backdrop for the wedding photos.  The family was healthy and all in attendance as the couple recited their vows. 

 To all of you struggling with disappointment over cancelled plans, follow this bride’s lovely example of overcoming her negative circumstances to create a beautiful dream wedding day. 

 Dr. Julie Cappel

 “We don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”– Barbara De Angelis

 
“Life keeps throwing me stones. And I keep finding the diamonds.”– Ana Claudia Antunes

 

Can Bad Times Create Better People?

If you spend any time looking at media, social or otherwise, you may think that the world has gone to hell in a handbasket.  We have spent months in lock down fearing a killer virus that threatens our health and economy.  Then, as soon as we think we have a plan to help control the virus and open the economy, the cities of the United States are being destroyed by violent criminals taking advantage of what should be peaceful protests.  It is easy to think that a crisis always brings out the worst in people.

Actually, the exact opposite is true.  Yes, there are bad eggs, but most people tend to step up and ban together during difficulties.

Rebecca Solnit writes that, “The history of disaster demonstrates that most of us are social animals, hungry for connection, as well as for purpose and meaning.” A truly dire situation, as tragic as it is, “drags us into emergencies that require we act, and act altruistically, bravely, and with initiative in order to survive or save our neighbors, no matter how we vote or what we do for a living.”

I have seen and heard many examples of people stepping up during the pandemic and riots. Neighbors dropping off groceries for their elderly neighbors, people guarding businesses during the riots, and individuals providing financial or emotional support through offerings of coaching support.  Personally, I have been working an abbreviated schedule since the pandemic began, our staff split into two teams each working 3 days per week.   Our schedule has been shorter in hours, but longer in mental and physical effort.  In spite of the challenging circumstances that we find ourselves in, I have experienced great effort from our manager and team, working to create an environment of safety for ourselves and service to our clients and their pets. 

Few clients are critical and impatient, most are generous and understanding to our new policies and procedures.  This week I received the most wonderful thank-you card from a client, that was decorated in stickers – including one of me – thanking me for helping her bird to recover.  Last week we received a large check from one of our clients to help us buy food for multiple lunches. We have also had many deliveries of various foods from appreciative clients and fellow team members.

When crises arise in your life, may you benefit from generous friends and a generous heart.  Always remember that acts of kindness are also good for the people that do them.  Working to develop your generous spirit will create more happiness in you and for you.   

Stay healthy, stay kind and stay generous.

Dr. Julie Cappel

 Join me this week on the podcast!   This week we talk about leadership and Myers-Briggs Personality types. 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730 

We are human

Many are good

Some are evil

Value life

Cherish ideas

Protest injustice

Respect property

Love each other

Pray for Peace

Dr. Julie Cappel

  

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

― Martin Luther King Jr.

Focus on your Family Circus

Today is Sunday, Memorial Day weekend and we are over three months into the Covid-19 virus shutdown of my state of Michigan. The United States is cautiously starting to open back up, but we here in Michigan keep having our “Stay at Home” order lengthened.    We work remotely if we are able, shop online, wear masks in public when we have to go out and spend the majority of our time trying to figure out what to do with our time.  Those with young children, bless their hearts, are supremely challenged with the task of keeping up with home schooling and also trying to keep a bunch of young people contained in their homes or if the weather permits in their yard.  My children are grown, so I do not have this struggle, but God bless those who do. 

As tempers flare and political divides grow deeper it may become difficult to maintain our mental, physical and emotional health. We are dealing with so many emotions that need to be processed in a healthy way in order for us to thrive. Changing our outlook to focus on family and normalcy is a way to process the emotion.  We have the ability to plan for our day, future gatherings with family and friends, and find things to enjoy in the present routine. 

Try playing family trivia on Zoom every Sunday. 

My favorite thing that has come out of the pandemic is Sunday afternoon trivia games with my family.  We started weeks ago and have maintained this new zoom call tradition each week. The participants are my husband and I, my parents, my daughter and son-in-law (Texas) my son (New York) and my sister, her husband and son (New Mexico.)   The stay at home orders have kept us from traveling but has allowed us to create a new relationship each week on the call.  The calls give us time to see each other and catch up on the week’s events.  There are many laughs as the generations struggle to navigate the trivia and the technology.  

Plan video calls regularly to connect with friends and family. The calls will provide a positive focus for your days and weeks. Remembering that no one is going through this alone will help you to feel part of a community to decrease your loneliness.

Maintain your daily routine as normally as possible.  If you continue to make your life feel as normal as possible it will help your brain stay positive.  Get up at your normal time and go through your daily routine as it was before the pandemic.  Staying at home will require that you adjust your routine, but you can try to create as much normalcy as possible for your day.  Be purposeful in your planning and enjoy the free time.  Maintaining your normal habits will help you to develop a more positive outlook and a healthy routine.  

Taking care of yourself by creating a routine and spending time with your family (and friends) will allow you to process and create better emotions as you move through the pandemic. 

Enjoy your family circus.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.” –Michael J. Fox

Joy in the time of Covid-19

 Today was a joyful day!

It was a joyful day because my very good friend was finally released from the hospital after 7+ weeks suffering with Covid-19.  She was in ICU for many of those weeks, and on a ventilator twice!  By some great miracle and the grace of God she survived to return home to her husband, two sons, and very happy Golden Retrievers.  Today a large group of friends got together in a parking lot and formed a parade to drive by her house with signs, honking horns, and balloons.  She was sitting in a lawn chair in her driveway watching us all go by.  It was such a great celebration of life and friendship.  Seeing her and my other friends, that I have not seen in months, was a huge blessing.  A truly joyful day.

In this time of our nation’s quarantine lockdown, there may seem very little to be joyful about.   Many people have had their lives and livelihoods slowly stripped away and destroyed by rules that seem to make very little common sense.  When faced with the choice of working with risk of possible illness from Covid-19 and staying home with the guarantee of bankruptcy, we humans need something to feel joyful about. 

 

So how do we create more joy?

Realize that you have control of your mind.  When faced with so many negative seemingly impossible circumstances in your life, remember that joy is a choice that you can make.  You may really have to dig at times to see it, but there are always things to be thankful for.  For example, today I will meet with my family over zoom to play trivia.  For a couple of hours, we will get together, talk, and compete in an epic trivia battle from all corners of the United States.  It will break up an otherwise long rainy day of quarantine and allow me to see my family.  My adult children will make fun of me and my parents when we get a wrong answer, but seeing our stupidity bring them joy is also joyful for me.

Continue to look for silver linings.  With every challenge comes opportunity for growth.  Think of yourself as a work in progress and look for ways to rise to the challenge.  If you work on choosing growth over defeat, you can create more joy for your life over time.  It may feel like a big effort but challenging yourself daily to find joy and growth will ultimately create a more fulfilling life. I am joyful that I currently have a job and so does my team.  All of us are making less money than we used to – our hands have been tied by our state’s restrictions – but we can continue to work within those restrictions and will not starve.  We have banned together to become more and more creative in our work to create support for our community and our team.  We can choose to feel joy in our work, even if the days are long and exhausting.

Look around yourself right now and choose something to feel joyful about.  As you practice the skill of looking for joy it will become more natural.  Practicing gratitude in the midst of negative circumstance will allow you to create more joy. 

What are you joyful about today?  Please let me know in the comments!

Dr. Julie Cappel

If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment. – Carlos Santana

Find joy in everything you choose to do.  Every job, relationship, home… It’s your responsibility to love it or change it.  – Chuck Palahniuk

Contact me!
It only takes a minute to change your life.  Coaching will make all the difference.
Join me for help and inspiration by visiting my website https://www.juliecappel.com/

Listen to my Podcast! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Give to make yourself happy.

Today is Mother’s Day.  The day that we agree to honor mothers and grandmothers. Why do we celebrate Mothers?  Because of all they give.

But mothers also receive something from all of the giving that they do – happiness.   Being a mother is one of the things that brings the most joy to my life.  Giving of yourself and helping others is one of the easiest ways to increase your own happiness.  Mothers give of themselves and in so doing create more happiness.  Happiness often comes as a byproduct of generosity, but you don’t have to be a mother to benefit from generosity.

When you are actively involved with helping others, you will indirectly create more happiness for your life.  Doing things for others – your children, your parents, your friends and even your pets -- makes you happier than spending time and energy on yourself.  There is a strong link between kindness, generosity, and happiness.

With increased giving comes increased happiness.

A study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies asked one group of participants to recall the last time they spent money on themselves, and another group to recall the last time they spent money on someone else.  With each question they completed a scale that measured how happy they felt with the spending.  The participants were then given a small sum of money and two choices.  They could spend it on themselves or on someone else.  They were told to choose whatever would make them happiest.  Their choice was kept anonymous, so they did not feel pressure to give to others. The research found that people feel overall happier when they were asked to remember a time when they gave. The happier they felt when being generous, the more likely they were to want to spend on others again.  Generosity creates a positive feedback loop.  Giving encourages more giving.

If you do one kind act that makes you feel happy, you will be more likely to spend time doing more acts of kindness in order to feel more happiness.

So, whether you are a mother, grandmother, child, or friend, give yourself the gift of giving.  Be generous to others and your life will be better for it.  Create a culture of kindness and give to help yourself feel happier.

And don’t forget to honor your mother today.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Being happy and being kind are two things we often strive to be in life. ... Doing good deeds can bring untold amounts of happiness; both for the recipient and the benefactor. Nobody loses when it comes to kindness.” – Corey Harnish

“When you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.” —Mitch Albom

Join Me on the Podcast!  The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730 

Create a positivity habit

In the face of any challenge there is always room for growth. That is the message that I want to share with you this week – challenging yourself to create personal growth by adopting a positive mindset. But what if you are finding things difficult and are feeling discouraged?   Your friends seem to have it all together -- posting on Instagram and other social media platforms how great they are doing in quarantine.  They are starting new hobbies, improving skills, and just overall enjoying their newly found free time.  What if you don’t feel that way and you are suffering?  How can you deal with their positivity when you are feeling anything but positive?

I had one of those discouraging days last week.  I am the only doctor scheduled at my veterinary hospital two to three days a week because of changes we made to our schedule in the face of the pandemic.  When we have a particularly busy day, I end up exhausted.  Tuesday was that day.  A state shut down has not really kept people home.  Add to that the fact that we are not bringing clients into the building and we are wearing masks as we work adds to the stress and physical effort needed to care for the patients.  (The emergency nail trim appointments are my favorites.)  Tuesday evening, when I finally got home from work after a grueling day, I had a little melt down.  My husband had to listen to me as I cried and told him how difficult this whole quarantine-working-life is.  My brain was tired and could see nothing but gloom and doom.  Once I had a little pity party, I was able to let it go and start to work to change my mindset.

If you are having difficulty right now, cut yourself some slack.  It is okay to feel sad and grieve the things that you have lost.  The life that you thought you would have this spring turned into something else entirely.  Once you allow yourself a little compassion you will be better equipped to start working towards a more positive mindset.

If you want to be happier, you absolutely can.   Shaun Achor, author of “The Happiness Advantage” says that working to become happy will cause you to be more successful in work and life.  So, working on your mind and creating a positivity habit will allow you to handle the current situation better and anything that comes in the future. It is all up to you to start working towards your new positive thinking habit. My husband has studied leadership for the past 30 years and he reminded me yesterday of something he learned called the 21/90 rule.  The idea behind this rule is that it takes about twenty-one days to adopt a new habit and ninety days to solidify it. 

If you want to become more positive in life, make positive thinking a habit. 

Choose a time of day to work on your brain and teach it positive thoughts.  I like to work on my thoughts first thing in the morning when my brain is fresh and nothing difficult has happened to me yet.  I can write down feelings of gratitude from the day before and thoughts to get my mind in a positive place.  If you set aside a little time every day for 21 days, you will start to change your negative thoughts to more positive optimistic thoughts.  

Start simple.  If your brain loves pessimism, it may take a while to become fully optimistic.  If you decide to practice one positive thought per day for a consistent 21 days, you will start to feel more optimism.

Remind yourself to be happy throughout the day.  Post a positive saying or mantra where you can easily read it during your day.  Practice repeating your positive thoughts when you feel that you are getting negative or stressed. 

Allow for mistakes in your thinking.  Remember that your brain loves drama and dislikes change.  That’s why it is so much easier to continue thinking negative thoughts than positive ones.  If you have a bad day or need to be sad allow yourself to go there.  Once you process that negative emotion, do some work to get back into your positive thinking.

Try using a “but” statement.  When you think or say something negative, use the word “but” to interrupt yourself, then change the end of the statement to something better.  Say something like, “Today was a difficult day, but I handled it very well.”

Allow yourself grace when you are feeling down but start today to create a new habit.  Use the next twenty-one days to start your new mindset and positivity habit.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.”– Lee Iacocca

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”– Mary Anne Radmacher

“Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.” – Jacques Prevert