In the face of any challenge there is always room for growth. That is the message that I want to share with you this week – challenging yourself to create personal growth by adopting a positive mindset. But what if you are finding things difficult and are feeling discouraged? Your friends seem to have it all together -- posting on Instagram and other social media platforms how great they are doing in quarantine. They are starting new hobbies, improving skills, and just overall enjoying their newly found free time. What if you don’t feel that way and you are suffering? How can you deal with their positivity when you are feeling anything but positive?
I had one of those discouraging days last week. I am the only doctor scheduled at my veterinary hospital two to three days a week because of changes we made to our schedule in the face of the pandemic. When we have a particularly busy day, I end up exhausted. Tuesday was that day. A state shut down has not really kept people home. Add to that the fact that we are not bringing clients into the building and we are wearing masks as we work adds to the stress and physical effort needed to care for the patients. (The emergency nail trim appointments are my favorites.) Tuesday evening, when I finally got home from work after a grueling day, I had a little melt down. My husband had to listen to me as I cried and told him how difficult this whole quarantine-working-life is. My brain was tired and could see nothing but gloom and doom. Once I had a little pity party, I was able to let it go and start to work to change my mindset.
If you are having difficulty right now, cut yourself some slack. It is okay to feel sad and grieve the things that you have lost. The life that you thought you would have this spring turned into something else entirely. Once you allow yourself a little compassion you will be better equipped to start working towards a more positive mindset.
If you want to be happier, you absolutely can. Shaun Achor, author of “The Happiness Advantage” says that working to become happy will cause you to be more successful in work and life. So, working on your mind and creating a positivity habit will allow you to handle the current situation better and anything that comes in the future. It is all up to you to start working towards your new positive thinking habit. My husband has studied leadership for the past 30 years and he reminded me yesterday of something he learned called the 21/90 rule. The idea behind this rule is that it takes about twenty-one days to adopt a new habit and ninety days to solidify it.
If you want to become more positive in life, make positive thinking a habit.
Choose a time of day to work on your brain and teach it positive thoughts. I like to work on my thoughts first thing in the morning when my brain is fresh and nothing difficult has happened to me yet. I can write down feelings of gratitude from the day before and thoughts to get my mind in a positive place. If you set aside a little time every day for 21 days, you will start to change your negative thoughts to more positive optimistic thoughts.
Start simple. If your brain loves pessimism, it may take a while to become fully optimistic. If you decide to practice one positive thought per day for a consistent 21 days, you will start to feel more optimism.
Remind yourself to be happy throughout the day. Post a positive saying or mantra where you can easily read it during your day. Practice repeating your positive thoughts when you feel that you are getting negative or stressed.
Allow for mistakes in your thinking. Remember that your brain loves drama and dislikes change. That’s why it is so much easier to continue thinking negative thoughts than positive ones. If you have a bad day or need to be sad allow yourself to go there. Once you process that negative emotion, do some work to get back into your positive thinking.
Try using a “but” statement. When you think or say something negative, use the word “but” to interrupt yourself, then change the end of the statement to something better. Say something like, “Today was a difficult day, but I handled it very well.”
Allow yourself grace when you are feeling down but start today to create a new habit. Use the next twenty-one days to start your new mindset and positivity habit.
Dr. Julie Cappel
“In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.”– Lee Iacocca
Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”– Mary Anne Radmacher
“Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.” – Jacques Prevert
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