Today we hosted a wedding in the backyard of our home for a close friend and her family. This beautiful bride had been planning her wedding for two years, when three months out, a worldwide pandemic hit.
Of course, she had “save the date” and shower invitations printed and sent. She had purchased, flowers, food and favors. She had chosen bridesmaids and their dresses, shoes, hair and makeup, the photographer, a DJ and her venue. All things that brides do for the most important day of their life.
The bride and her fiancé were forced to make a judgement call as to whether they wanted to postpone the wedding until another future date or change the wedding plans to hold a small ceremony keeping their original wedding date. When the bride asked us if we would host the wedding ceremony in our yard, we were honored to help and excited to have something, anything, to look forward to in our quarantine.
I was able to talk to the bride about how she envisioned her day and as she was telling me she started to cry. This was not what she had in mind when she accepted the proposal. She had the big dress, big venue, big party vision. She had the hundreds of people dancing the electric slide, large bridal party event in mind. This was far from what she wanted.
What do you do when life throws Covid-19 into the middle of your wedding day plans?
Cry a lot at first, accept that things have changed, then put on your Wonder Woman cape and start to make a new plan.
Accept that life will throw you curve balls. When you have a plan, it helps to keep in mind that nothing in life is certain. A friend of mine has a motto that she follows, “No expectations, no assumptions, no regrets”. To me this means that if you accept that life is always uncertain, you may be better able to change course when something does go wrong. Accept that the “new” wedding will be different.
Don’t “curb your enthusiasm”. Keep your excitement going for the new plans. Even though a small wedding ceremony in the back yard of your friend’s house was not your original plan, staying enthusiastic for the revised wedding plans allows for increased creativity and joy for the event. Allowing yourself to stay excited will help you let go of your previous disappointment.
This bride’s wedding day today was truly fabulous in every way. The weather was a perfect sunny 70 degrees. The beautifully decorated archway set on the edge of the lush green woods was the perfect backdrop for the wedding photos. The family was healthy and all in attendance as the couple recited their vows.
To all of you struggling with disappointment over cancelled plans, follow this bride’s lovely example of overcoming her negative circumstances to create a beautiful dream wedding day.
Dr. Julie Cappel
“We don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”– Barbara De Angelis
“Life keeps throwing me stones. And I keep finding the diamonds.”– Ana Claudia Antunes
What do you do when life throws Covid-19 into the middle of your wedding day plans? 
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