Why are you not moving forward?

This week I am working on creating a new veterinary program on goal setting and creating results.  I have been studying and building a power point presentation for my MVMA Power of Ten group.  Ironically, while working on this program on “goals”, so many things have come up for me.  I have been struggling to move forward and just get it done.

The week has been filled with challenges that I have used as an excuse to not move forward.  Our computers went down at the hospital and we are having to do everything by hand.  I discovered a leak and mold problem in my basement and my dog developed a gastrointestinal illness, ruining my carpet.  Those were just some of the things.   My circumstances have been many, and they have created quite a challenge for my easily distractible brain.  Instead of focusing on developing my program, I have been letting myself become absorbed in the challenges that my life is offering. 

Why should we set goals and move forward?

We need to set goals and move forward, because our brain needs direction and focus.  If you let your brain decide what you are going to do, it will take the path of least resistance and have you eating cookies and watching Netflix all day.  Your brain wants to keep you safe, so when you set a big goal that you do not currently know how to accomplish, your brain reacts with fear and distraction.

What can we do to create focus and achieve our goal?

We all have a tendency to focus on the drama around us instead of focusing on achievement.  This is the most common reason that we avoid working on big things.  In order to focus and overcome the fear that our brain creates, we need to learn to be uncomfortable on purpose.  Realize that feeling bad is part of the deal when doing something big. Big goals will cause uncomfortable feelings, and that is OK.  Expect them so you won’t be surprised when they occur.

Be on to yourself.  I know that if something comes up in my day that will help me escape from working on my goal, my brain is going to want to lose focus.  Knowing ahead of time that I am easily distracted, helps me to catch myself when it happens and redirect my attention back to the goal.  It happened to me while writing this – I was distracted by my dogs, but I caught myself and came right back to the writing.

Be willing to fail.  Failure is a part of achieving any worthwhile goal.  It will be a rare occurrence that you will get it right the first time you try, so expect to fail.  Failing and trying again, will always be more useful that sitting back and waiting for things to happen. 

Commit to yourself.  You have to decide on purpose that you want something and then figure out how to get it.

Set a goal. 

Expect your brain to freak out.

Feel the fear and move forward anyway.

Commit to yourself and do not quit.

Fail until you achieve the goal. 

Believe that you can do it and move forward.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“You have to set goals that are almost out of reach. If you set a goal that is attainable without much work or thought, you are stuck with something below your true talent and potential.” —Steve Garvey

Episode #43 - Lessons on Personal Growth/John Maxwell

On this episode of the podcast Julie discusses some of John Maxwell's book, "The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth".  John Maxwell is a leading author and speaker on all things leadership and is a favorite author of Julie's.  In this book, John outlines "laws" that we all need to embrace for continued personal growth. Growth should be intentional and aligned with your purpose and passions, if not you run the risk of being busy without meaning. Join Julie as she learns from John Maxwell.

Check out this episode!

All Things College and Career Interview with Meg and Bobbi

You are not alone – getting beyond the trolls

This weekend I am on my semi-annual scrapbooking retreat with a group of my long-time girlfriends.  We have been friends for over twenty years and met each other in a variety of ways – dog training, kid’s school, work associations, camping and marching band.  We gather twice a year to visit, eat good food, watch movies, and work on various craft projects.  The crafting is real, but the focus is actually to maintain our longtime friendships with time spent together.  We spend time chatting about our various family and work dramas, life changes with our parents, and successes with our children.  One of us is soon to be a Grandmother, which is exciting and amazing.
 

Trent and Parker at the kennel while I am away.

While taking a break from my scrapbook, I had a lot of time to do research on social media for my veterinary coaching clients.  I have been reading many discussions on the veterinary Facebook page “Not One More Vet”.  This organization was designed to support veterinarians that are feeling alone and desperate about their career and circumstances in their life. It is supposed to be a place where people can safely air their problems and seek support from others.  As is common with so many online places in social media, there are those that fail to understand the purpose of support. The trolls. They offer judgment and criticism in place of the much-needed understanding and support.  Today I read a beautiful post by one of my good friends. Her post was supportive and beautiful, and then in the next moment I read a snarky post about some “older” veterinarians that were expressing judgment about the “younger” veterinarians.  Exactly what this site was designed against.
 

I became a certified life coach in order to assist with the overarching problem of anxiety, depression and suicide in our profession.  I am in a great place in my life, but I have had my fair share of struggles in this profession and with my own family.  I know all too well how difficult it is to work in a field where many of our decisions are not really ours.  We are at the mercy of the client, the uncertainty of medicine, and the ever-powerful dollar.  We are now also at the mercy of these internet trolls – but only if we let ourselves be.
 

How can we, as a profession, promote strength and progress without all the judgement?  How can we overcome and ignore the trolls?
 

There is a quote that I love from John Maxwell, he says, “Hurting people hurt people.”
 

The way we can continue to support our fellow veterinarians is by realizing that there will always be trolls.  People who for some reason feel better about themselves if they hurt others. When we accept the fact that they will always be there and understand something about them, we can embrace the concept that they are suffering, as much or more, than we are.  We will be able to see their comments as more of a cry for help than a reflection of us or our profession.  Rather than feeling bad about ourselves when they judge, we can feel sad for them.


 I realized this weekend that there are always people in your life that want the best for you.  The people, like my group of friends, that will be there when you need them.  We all have someone in our corner that understands and loves us.  Acknowledging the fact that you are not alone is the first step in feeling better.  Family, friends and even strangers that know your situation, like me, will support and help you move forward in your life.   

Let go of the internet trolls and see them for what they are.  Hurting people that hurt people.   

Trolls will be trolls, but you never walk alone.

Dr. Julie Cappel

Join me on the Podcast!!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730


    

Episode #42 - Self-Acceptance

On this episode of the podcast Julie discusses the concept of self-acceptance. Can you (and will you) believe that you have everything that you need right now in this moment?  If you achieve self-acceptance, you will create a true sense of self-confidence and self love - letting go of your doubt and judgment.  Once you have embraced yourself in this moment, you will be well on your way to taking the action that you need to progress in your personal development.   

Check out this episode!

Getting Unstuck

Today, I was “coached” by my husband.  Yep - I was complaining about feeling stuck in the cold wet Michigan weather with a huge pile of things to do, and he turned my “coach” words back on me.   He said, “Why are you choosing to think about it in that way?”  then, “I was outside yesterday working, and I was thinking how beautiful the plants and trees looked with some rain on the leaves and the changing colors.”  Thanks Scott; those are beautiful thoughts!  Thank you for pulling me out of my pity party and showing me how my mind is working against me.    That negative “Chihuahua brain” of mine is always trying to bring me down.  

Why is it that we often feel stuck in the negative?  Why can’t we be more optimistic and take action towards what we really want? 

We look at our feelings about our job, our relationships, our weight, or our money and we feel like they are not under our control.  We feel at the mercy of the things that happen “to us” in the world.  The truth is that we cannot control any of the things.  Not the weather, not our past, even the things that others say to us or about us -   none of this is anything that we can control.

The only thing that is totally in our control is the way we think about all of the things that happen.  We are in control of our thoughts, and we are in control of our actions.  This is great news, because we all have power to get ourselves unstuck.

We don’t always want to take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions because it seems easier to hide within the victim narrative that our brain creates for us.  If feels safer than doing the hard work that it takes to create our better life.  We spin in confusion and think, “I don’t know how to do it.”

Getting unstuck requires some motivation to feel better.  Why is it that you want to change and what are some solid reasons that you need to change?  Your reasons will provide you with the motivation to do something – to take action.  Having a compelling reason to manage your mind and then funnel those thoughts into actions, is the first step to get moving forward.

When you take your first step towards getting unstuck, you will probably feel some negative emotion.  Your brain will resist and fear failing.  Understand that this is normal and is the way getting unstuck feels.  It is often terrifying, but negative emotion is the pathway to change.  If you can feel the negative feelings and persevere anyway, you will begin to break down the walls that are keeping you stuck.

When you feel stuck, like I was today, tell your husband.  No, I am kidding - unless your husband will school you like mine did. 

When you are feeling stuck in anything, first look at your thoughts about it.  Realize that your thinking is a choice, and in order to feel better you are going to have to work to think better.  Try to come up with a solid reason that you want to change to provide yourself with some motivation.  Once you have a reason to change, take one action towards the thing that you want to change.  Prepare for some negative feelings and perhaps a few failures.  Resolve to move through the negative feelings and continue to push towards your goal.

That is how you will begin to become unstuck.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Being unstuck is not only about having momentum and moving along with minimum friction. It also has to include the ability to endure difficulties and even hard slogs” - Matt Perman