You are not alone – getting beyond the trolls

This weekend I am on my semi-annual scrapbooking retreat with a group of my long-time girlfriends.  We have been friends for over twenty years and met each other in a variety of ways – dog training, kid’s school, work associations, camping and marching band.  We gather twice a year to visit, eat good food, watch movies, and work on various craft projects.  The crafting is real, but the focus is actually to maintain our longtime friendships with time spent together.  We spend time chatting about our various family and work dramas, life changes with our parents, and successes with our children.  One of us is soon to be a Grandmother, which is exciting and amazing.
 

Trent and Parker at the kennel while I am away.

While taking a break from my scrapbook, I had a lot of time to do research on social media for my veterinary coaching clients.  I have been reading many discussions on the veterinary Facebook page “Not One More Vet”.  This organization was designed to support veterinarians that are feeling alone and desperate about their career and circumstances in their life. It is supposed to be a place where people can safely air their problems and seek support from others.  As is common with so many online places in social media, there are those that fail to understand the purpose of support. The trolls. They offer judgment and criticism in place of the much-needed understanding and support.  Today I read a beautiful post by one of my good friends. Her post was supportive and beautiful, and then in the next moment I read a snarky post about some “older” veterinarians that were expressing judgment about the “younger” veterinarians.  Exactly what this site was designed against.
 

I became a certified life coach in order to assist with the overarching problem of anxiety, depression and suicide in our profession.  I am in a great place in my life, but I have had my fair share of struggles in this profession and with my own family.  I know all too well how difficult it is to work in a field where many of our decisions are not really ours.  We are at the mercy of the client, the uncertainty of medicine, and the ever-powerful dollar.  We are now also at the mercy of these internet trolls – but only if we let ourselves be.
 

How can we, as a profession, promote strength and progress without all the judgement?  How can we overcome and ignore the trolls?
 

There is a quote that I love from John Maxwell, he says, “Hurting people hurt people.”
 

The way we can continue to support our fellow veterinarians is by realizing that there will always be trolls.  People who for some reason feel better about themselves if they hurt others. When we accept the fact that they will always be there and understand something about them, we can embrace the concept that they are suffering, as much or more, than we are.  We will be able to see their comments as more of a cry for help than a reflection of us or our profession.  Rather than feeling bad about ourselves when they judge, we can feel sad for them.


 I realized this weekend that there are always people in your life that want the best for you.  The people, like my group of friends, that will be there when you need them.  We all have someone in our corner that understands and loves us.  Acknowledging the fact that you are not alone is the first step in feeling better.  Family, friends and even strangers that know your situation, like me, will support and help you move forward in your life.   

Let go of the internet trolls and see them for what they are.  Hurting people that hurt people.   

Trolls will be trolls, but you never walk alone.

Dr. Julie Cappel

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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730