Do you ever feel that everything that can go wrong is going wrong? Just as you think things are going smoothly, something shakes you up and brings you back down. That is life! That is veterinary life.
Springing back from disappointment or even tragic circumstances is one of the most difficult things. There are feelings of isolation and self-doubt that come with every setback, and if you don't work to deal with those negative feelings, you will continue down that road to despair.
I have had some of these feelings lately, so I want to discuss springing back from adversity or resiliency today. We all know that life is hard, and if we did not have challenges, we would not know to appreciate the good things when they happen. This is by design, but it stinks when things are not going well, and we need to practice skills to keep us from bending too far into negativity.
It is a common problem - Stuff happens, life happens, and we have a lot of stressful thoughts about the stuff happening, and then we need to be resilient to bounce back. It is not easy, but I wanted to bring you some research-based advice to help build that resiliency muscle.
The definition of resiliency is "Springing back or rebounding ."Returning to the original form or position after bending, compressing, or stretching. Recovering from illness, depression, or adversity."
Resilience is a skill that you can develop and work to improve. Just like all things in life, if you take the time to work on any skill, you can improve. Remember that being resilient does not mean you have no stress or difficulty in your life, and it is not a cure but a way to help you better understand and manage your response to hardship.
The Harvard Business Review outlines three key factors that help to make people more resilient. They are high levels of confidence in their abilities, disciplined routines for their work, and social and family support.
To develop more confidence, a better routine, and build social support, here are some things that you can practice to become more resilient.
Get more connected. Connecting with others is the most important thing we can do to build a beautiful life. Building strong, positive relationships with family and friends will provide you with needed support and acceptance in good and bad times. You can work on your social connections, volunteer, join a club or church, and connect with your veterinary team outside of work. It may feel difficult for you if you tend towards introversion, but if you challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone and attempt to make more friends, you will better overcome adversity when it hits.
I joined a pickleball group last week and was super intimidated because I am new to the sport. I had to push myself to show up and join in the play. I didn't know anyone, so I just had to show up and ask to join. To my surprise, everyone was welcoming and helpful, and I had a great time. I played in three games and won one of them. So, get out of your head and push through that uncomfortable feeling of being a stranger in a group and try to connect. You will be surprised how great you feel when you find a new friend.
Work to make every day more meaningful. Do something that allows you to feel accomplished or purposeful every day. It may be working on your mental and physical health or helping others. Set clear goals to help you look for the future meaningfully. You can also reach out to a friend to check on them, increasing your connection with them and bringing meaning for them when you make their day.
Reflect on your past experiences. Remember how you've coped with hardships in the past. How you persevered and overcame. Think about the skills and strategies that helped you through those difficult times. You might even write about those past experiences in your journal to help you identify your positive and negative behavior patterns — If you analyze your past, it may help guide your future behaviors.
Embrace the feeling of hope. We sometimes need to remember that you can choose a different emotion when required. Hope is a beautiful one. You can't change the past but you can always look toward the future. Accepting and even anticipating change makes adapting and viewing new challenges easier with less anxiety.
Take care of yourself. This one always sounds simple to me, but it is one of the most challenging things for us to do. Tend to your own needs and work on your feelings. Participate in activities and hobbies you enjoy. Include some physical activity in your daily routine. Get outside more often. Get plenty of sleep and create consistent bedtime rituals. Help yourself "shut down" and leave work behind. Remember that it is OK to rest as long as you are restful and your mind is not spinning on what you "should" be doing.
Reframe your thinking. When things change, we sometimes default to our stress reactions without challenging them. To escape this cycle, track your responses to stress and consider whether they're valid. Is there that much work to do, or do you remember the last time work overwhelmed you and feel like that may happen again?
Becoming more resilient takes time and practice. If you need to make progress or help knowing where to start, consider talking to someone. Remember that there is no shame in asking for help, and there are many mental health professionals in the world that are ready to work with you.
Dr. Julie Cappel
"Life doesn't get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient." ― Steve Maraboli
On this week's podcast I talk more about resilience. Listen on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast.
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