New Year - New Goals

As we all head towards 2020, we start to think about how we can become better people and do better in the new year.  We look back on what we have done in the past twelve months and wonder if we accomplished enough.  Did we spend our time doing important things or did we simply let time pass by?

I always make resolutions and set goals when the new year comes around, but I do not always accomplish everything that I set out to do.  Last year I set five big goals and accomplished four out of the five.  That is pretty great!  The reason that I was able to accomplish most of my goals is because I was very specific about what it was that I wanted to do. I set a time frame to get each one done and made a plan to execute them.   

Why did I not do all five?  Probably because I was afraid of what it would take to do the fifth.  The effort, the work, and the mental strength it would take to get out of my way and actually get it done.  Four out of five is not bad, but maybe this year I can do better.

Is there something that you have always wanted to do and have not yet done?  Maybe this is your year.

Why is it important to set goals and make resolutions? 

Our brain needs constant oversite and direction.  Without conscious thinking and planning, our brain will seek the path of least resistance.  We will stay in our comfort zone because dreaming big and setting big goals scares us a little.  Try writing some big goals down and observe how your brain begins to argue with you. You will think of all the ways that the goal is impossible and every way that you will likely fail.  If you do not take control of those negative thoughts, you will slip into complacency.   

If we do not set big goals, we will live our life in the past.  We will do the same things over and over again without trying anything new.  It is so much easier to continue to do things that you have already accomplished, because you know that you can achieve them.  Setting goals that you feel are out of your reach -- making you a little uncomfortable -- will challenge you to move forward and change.  If you want to change your past, you must plan for your future and setting goals is the way to do it.

How do we plan goals in a way that ensures we will actually accomplish the goals that we set?

·      Dream big. Write down all the things that you want to do until it scares you.

·      Choose the top three to five priorities for this year, so you can constrain yourself and focus on those specific goals.

·      Write down the steps you will need to take to accomplish them. If you do not know how to do something, schedule time to research or get help.

·      Add the steps to your calendar and allow time to work on them.

·      Follow through on your plans and don’t let yourself down by quitting.

The last step is the most difficult and most important.  Quitting feels good, because of the relief that your brain feels in the moment.  Not quitting, and actually accomplishing a goal, will feel so much better in the long term. Quitting feels good only in the short term. Do not quit!

Set some big scary goals for yourself this year and change your life!

You will be glad you did.

Julie Cappel

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.” —Andrew Carnegie

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” —Pablo Picasso

Outrageous Generosity

The holidays are the perfect time think about the concept of generosity.  I have always thought that giving things to others is way more fun than receiving things.  For me, that has always been true, but what exactly does it mean to be generous, and what does it really do for us?

According to Psychology Today, “Generosity is the act of being kind, selfless, and giving to others. Despite being an act that is done to benefit others' well-being, generosity also paradoxically increases our well-being. So being generous is a fantastic way to improve your mental health and well-being.”

This week I learned that my mom committed an act of outrageous generosity.  My parents spend their winter months in Florida.  This year my mother discovered a school in the area that was in dire need of school supplies.  The school is in a struggling area of Florida where the families do the best they can for the students, but there are things that they just cannot afford.  My mom stays in a community nearby, so she sees the school and the children when she drives back and forth on her way to the store. 

My mother is a very generous person, but she is not the type that likes to be the center of attention.  It turns out that she had been thinking about donating to this school for weeks and didn’t follow through.  When my sister Jill arrived to visit, my mother shared the idea with her.  My sister and I are much less attention adverse, so Jill jumped right on the idea and encouraged my mother to go shopping to buy the school supplies.  They went to The Dollar Tree and Walmart and bought hundreds of dollars’ worth of crayons, pencils, paper, glue, scissors, paper towel, hand sanitizer, and desk wipes.   Mom then called the school and asked if they could drop off the supplies to the principal. The principal was most surprised at the volume of things that my mother and sister brought to the school.  They had never seen such generosity from a stranger randomly donating to their little school. The principal wrote a beautiful note thanking my mother for her outrageous generosity.

Who gets the most out of this encounter?  My mom and sister who carried out the donation.   When you give, it goes a long way into improving your own mental health. Giving brings you feelings of accomplishment, lowers stress and brings joy to your life. Generosity also has a ripple effect.  When someone else sees you doing something generous, it makes them more likely to do something generous too; therefore, this increases everyone’s wellbeing.

How can we learn to be outrageously generous?

It is a natural part of most people’s makeup to be generous and kind; however, we can override our generosity gene by thinking too much. The thinking part of our brain can create a fear that by giving, we may not have enough; yet, the opposite is true.  Working to overcome our scarcity mindset is the first step in becoming a more generous person and thus happier.

Developing positive thinking skills such as gratitude will help us to become more generous. The happier and more blessed we feel, the more likely we are to give to others.  If you are open to becoming more generous, you will improve your own feelings of self-worth, joy and happiness.

Think about being outrageously generous this holiday season.  Focus on giving in ways to make a positive impact on someone else’s life.  The more you give of yourself, the better you will feel.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“For it is in giving that we receive.”
― St. Francis of Assisi

Join me on the Podcast!!

The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast with Dr. Julie Cappel

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730 

Episode #49 - Learning about Body Language with Karlene Belyea

On this episode of the podcast Julie talks to Karlene Belyea, her friend and the Chief Culture Officer of Mission Veterinary Partners.  Karlene teaches you to read others' body language and also use your own, to relate better in business and social situations. 

Check out this episode!

Are you financially prepared?

This Sunday morning as I was spending -- or more accurately, wasting -- a little time scrolling through my Facebook groups when I ran across a post from a veterinarian that was struggling with finances.  My first thought was, “of course veterinarians struggle; we don’t make much.”  My second thought was, “it does not have to be this way.” 

She was of retirement age and had worked as a veterinarian for over 35 years.  She had worked hard and long hours from the sound of it, but she was lamenting about the fact that she had no money saved and could not retire.  She was facing a surgery that would take her out of her practice for 3-6 months and she didn’t know how she would keep her business afloat while she was out of work.  How could she keep her one doctor practice going without the doctor?

Reading this post brought up thoughts of sadness and anger that this veterinarian had planned so poorly for her future. She cannot even take time out to care for herself let alone actually retire.  This women’s story made me want to scream, jump up and down, and warn every young person in our profession to walk a different path and make better decisions than some of your elders made. How do you get to the age of 68 and not have any money set aside for your future? 

I know what you are going to say: student loan debt, credit cards, divorce, kids, lack of health insurance, or medical bills that have built up over the years.  All things that happen to us, but if we are thoughtful with our money and work very hard, don’t have to take us down.

How do we do better?

No matter how much money you bring in, live on less.  Set yourself up a budget and follow it.  It sounds like the common sense that our parents and grandparents preached to us, but so many of us don’t follow their advice.  We blindly spend money that we do not have, using credit cards and taking out loans, so that we can have everything that we want NOW.  It is a little like Veruca Salt, the girl in Willie Wonka, “I want it now!”  No delayed gratification for us, we deserve to have everything that we want, regardless of our financial situation.  We are too impatient to wait and to save for anything.  This is precisely what gets us into trouble.  We don’t really need the new iPhone or tablet.  We don’t need Starbucks or restaurant food – except Taco Bell – we all need Taco Bell.  When your spending is planned ahead of time, your money will be more available for savings and retirement investing.

Pay off those student loans now.  Government sponsored forgiveness program are like handcuffs to your life.  Who wants to watch student loans loom over them for 20 years?  Get those suckers paid off as fast as you possibly can.  I was listening to Dave Ramsey’s podcast a few months ago and a young couple – they were both veterinarians – had come out of school with over $500,000 in debt between the two of them.  They decided that they were going to focus on their debt and get it paid off as soon as possible so they could live their lives without student loan debt.  They focused their attention on the debt, worked full time and weekends at emergency clinics, lived on a budget, drove beater cars, and paid off their debt in less than 5 years.  That’s right – two veterinarians, student loan free before they were 32 years old!  Listening to that couples’ story made me realize that veterinarians are not special when it comes to student loan debt.  You can overcome your debt in a short amount of time if you choose to focus in on it.

Contribute to your 401K or Simple IRA at your job. Every paycheck!  Please take advantage of your work retirement plan.  The younger you start, the more money you will have when you reach retirement.  You will think that is does not matter or that you cannot afford to contribute, but you will never miss the $25, $50 or $100 dollars that you contribute every 2 weeks.  Those small amounts will grow into hundreds of thousands of dollars in 20-30 years if it is invested in a good growth stock mutual fund.  You will never be sorry that you saved money for your future.  Many of the retirement plans offer employer matching as well, and that is just free money!  Don’t say no to free money!  Ever!

While I am using this women’s plight to make a point, I have tremendous sympathy for anyone that finds themselves in this situation.  Many of her peers have volunteered to help in her time of need, because that’s what generous veterinarians do. I want us to learn from her story and prevent others from finding themselves in her situation.  Money doesn’t buy happiness but having some control over it can buy you stability for your future.  

Dr. Julie Cappel

Do not save what is left after spending but spend what is left after saving. – Warren Buffett

“A simple fact that is hard to learn is that the time to save money is when you have some.”  - Joe Moore

Join me on The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast, where we talk about learning to change your life. Going from stress and burnout, to a life filled with balance and joy!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

Episode #48 - Emotional Intelligence

On this episode of the podcast Julie discusses the different personal skills that make up the concept of emotional intelligence.  Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand your own emotions and the emotions of others in your life, then using that understanding to manage your behavior and enhance relationships. Emotional intelligence is something that we can improve and develop to increase our success. 

Check out this episode!