Let me talk to the boss!

Each day the lovely veterinary technicians at our practice call all of the clients from the previous day to see how they are doing after their vaccinations or surgical procedures. They politely call each one and listen to the owner’s reports, answering questions as they arise. It is usually a somewhat pleasant exercise.  Clients are often friendly, appreciative, and grateful for the fact that we care enough to call them for a progress report.

 

Not so on Friday.

On Friday I was working in the pharmacy area (where the call-back phone is located), getting ready to enter an exam room when I heard my technician Samantha making a follow-up call.  The gentleman had been in with his dog on Thursday for a routine annual examination and vaccines with one of the doctors.  When the client answered, Sam politely said, “Hello, this is Sam from Warren Woods Veterinary Hospital and I was calling to see how Fritz is doing after his vaccination appointment yesterday.”  What happened next was so fascinating that I had to stop what I was doing to listen to Sam’s side of the call. 

She repeated the entire sentence again but a little bit louder.  “This is Sam from Warren Woods, I was calling about Fritz, to see how he is doing after yesterday’s visit.”  Then, “Yes, I can hear you, can you hear me?” she said politely.  Then again in an even louder voice, “This is Sam from…………., perhaps I should call you again on another line.”  Sam kept getting louder and the gentleman kept telling her to speak louder.  After about the fifth or sixth time she repeated herself, each time upping the volume saying, “I am sorry, I cannot speak any louder, but I would be happy to call you back on a different line, if you like.”  “I AM SORRY but I CANNOT get any LOUDER, maybe we have a bad connection.”  Then she paused and said, “Of course, let me place you on hold for a moment so I can get her for you.”  She placed the phone on hold, looked at me with desperation in her eyes - as the rest of the team, now very interested looked on - and said: “He wants to speak to the boss because he said that I am very rude.”   

I could only laugh out loud and the absurdity of her situation.  I had heard the whole conversation and Sam was not rude at all.  In fact, she is one of the sweetest most patient people I know.  She was indeed talking very loudly, but not rude.  Hilarious!

So, what do you do when someone falsely accuses you of being rude or handling them (or their pet) in an unsatisfactory manner; especially when you know that you are in the right?  Our first instinct is to fight back.  Our natural reaction is to go into defense or fight mode; the automatic response - our fight or flight reaction.  The problem is that you can’t run away from your clients, so flight is off the table.

When someone falsely accuses you, stay calm and keep a positive mindset.  Getting upset or fighting has no place in this conversation. Give up the idea of being right.  There is no right or wrong, there is only understanding. If you become agitated or defensive you will not be able to diffuse or remedy the situation. 

Assume that what the client is telling you is true - to them - and try to understand why it is true.  Once you understand where they are coming from you can move into solution mode.  Agree on the facts of the situation and in this case the fact was that the client could not hear Sam properly.  No fault of Sam, but the client needed to know that her intentions were honorable because she just wanted to check on his dog.  Once we got past the confusion and moved to understanding, we were able to agree that the phone connection was the problem, not our sweet Samantha. 

“Seek first to understand and then to be understood.”     

Stephen R. Covey

Dr. Julie Cappel

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A Night at the Opera.

This week I spent a few days in Indianola Iowa at the Des Moines Metro Opera. They have a beautiful theatre in which they perform full scale opera with a large orchestra and chorus.  My daughter was performing in Candide and La Bohème and I was able to attend multiple performances.   While I was there, I got a great education in the theatre/opera arts as well as a lesson in overcoming obstacles.

During the Friday night performance of Candide, one of the main characters came onstage after a costume change.  As she started singing her scene, the side zipper of her costume completely ripped open.  Her pink bra and entire side were exposed to the audience, so she quickly made a parting comment and hurried back off of the stage. That left the audience and the actors standing awkwardly by while the costumers backstage tried to put her dress back together.  The orchestra played the same bars of music over and over and the actors onstage made a few jokes to lighten the mood.  The actress with the ripped dress called out from the wings that she was “so close!” and “almost ready!”; the audience laughed and played along, and the other singers waited patiently for her to return to the stage to continue the opera. 

Once she was back on stage with a table cloth pinned around her to cover her damaged dress (yep, that was the best they could do), she continued the performance with a few new jokes woven into the story about her unfortunate dress.  This grand production that the team of artists had worked on for weeks, fell prey to one defective zipper. The show carried on and was more warmly received than the previous night’s performance.

Watching this unfold, I was reminded that life is full of obstacles and we all fall victim to unexpected circumstances.  So how can we take a lesson from this opera singer and continue to perform in spite of our challenges? 

Don’t get caught up in the mental drama that your mind will create around a challenge.  Try to gain perspective either by taking some time to explore options or talking to another person that is not emotionally involved with your obstacle.  Getting outside perspective is a great way to keep your mind from indulging in stressful drama.

Focus on solutions and resources needed to address your obstacle.   Often times an obstacle presents that revolves around a lack of resources.  If you focus your attention on understanding what is needed, then take steps to acquire those resources, you will start to chip away at the obstacle and get closer to a solution.  

Author Jeff Olson writes in The Slight Edge: “There are going to be all types of obstacles placed in front of you during your lifetime. And you can determine the size of a person by the size of the problem that keeps them down. Successful people look at a problem and see opportunity.”

Develop a growth mindset, be strong and don’t quit.  Most people do not overcome their obstacles because they feel inadequate.  Having mental strength and resilience when you tackle a problem will get you over your hurdles and propel you to success. 

Overcome your obstacles and continue to sing!

Dr. Julie Cappel



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Life Lessons from my Old Cat – Never Quit!

Yesterday I was preparing my household for a week long vacation.  At my house, that means farming out my animals to their respective pet sitters.  My two dogs, Parker and Trent almost always spend their time with my amazing friend (and a super veterinary technician) Carolyn.  She and her husband graciously take care of my boys whenever I have to go out of town.  They live on a beautiful property with their two dogs, some cats (don’t ask how many), and three horses - so my dogs always have a wonderful time.  I feel so blessed that I have them.   

 

Then there is my old cat, Peter, who is 18 ½ years old and battling cancer.  He is essentially in hospice care, but he does not know it.  He is a sweet-natured strange looking cat, with a skinny little head, too plump body, and very long skinny legs.  He is genuinely one of the sweetest things that has ever walked the earth, but he is distinctly unattractive.  Peter gets to stay at work with my fabulous veterinary team, and they treat him like royalty. They give him an entire exam room to stay in each night so he can move around and stretch his old arthritic joints.

Moving Peter to work for his vacation stay started me thinking about how he refuses to quit.  He has had cancer for well over a year now, and he hasn’t really noticed. He happily eats what he is served, purrs when petted, and rubs on his hairbrush to groom his scraggly fur.

Why is it that pets never quit? Why are they so amazingly brave and determined?

What lessons can we learn from Peter?

Do not feel sorry for yourself.  Whatever negative things you are handling today, there is always someone that is dealing with something more.  Remember that life is going to be difficult at times, but we can learn a great deal from difficulties.

Do not relive or focus on the past.  Realize that when you are dealing with something in your past, you have no superpower to change it.  Feel it, study it (briefly), learn the lesson that it was put there to teach you, then let it go.   Living there is a waste of time.

Let go of the excuses.  You can always come up with a reason to give up, but if you look for a reason to keep going, you can find that too.  Creating excuses to quit will never lead you to the vision you need to succeed.

If you quit at little things, you are training your brain to quit on everything.  Persevering in every little thing, will train your brain to succeed.  Everything you do in your life that is truly worthwhile takes some focused effort.  Quitting derails the focus on your goals and leads to a life without challenge and purpose.

People often complain, gripe, and worry about the smallest things.  Let’s learn a lesson from our cats, like my Peter, and refuse to quit.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Every champion was once a contender who refused to give up.” – Rocky Balboa

Join me on the Podcast - The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast with Dr. Julie Cappel 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730?mt=2