Grief Teaches Us

This weekend we lost a close family friend to heart disease. It was not unexpected as she had lived with a failing heart for the past few years. Expected but still devastating for her family and friends, who will miss her presence every day. Sadly, I will not attend her memorial service tomorrow as I am in California on a trip with my husband to visit our son and his girlfriend and meet her family and friends. I will be there in spirit with the grieving family as they mourn the loss of their mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and dear friend. 

When life brings us grief, whether it is the loss of a family member or close friend, we are left with a broken heart and a void in our life. The void once contained a loving relationship, and all the feelings and memories we shared with the person lost. 

Our grief will be felt and processed, and through that processing,  we may be reminded that we have lessons to learn and changes to make in our lives. 

We may learn to appreciate our friends and family more. If you look around and realize that there are people in your life that you are taking for granted or have not seen in a while, you may be reminded to reach out to them and spend more time with those you love. Little moments count.

You may realize that life is short, and you need to appreciate your small blessings. You may quit wasting time worrying about little problems or minor disappointments. You may choose not to dwell on mistakes and learn to move on.

You may make changes that reignite your passions in life so you do not miss the time you do have to enjoy. Grief may be carried forward while creating more joy in your life. Both negative and positive emotions may co-exist.  

You may learn to simplify your life. You let go of grudges, envy, and anxiety. You may learn to replace those negative emotions with more gratitude and love. Gratitude is a daily practice that will turn your life in a more positive, optimistic direction.

You may learn to remain present daily and see your life for what it is. You may work harder to get what you want from your life and do what it takes to create your dreams. Grief is not weakness; it creates an ability to be present. It creates more strength. 

You may realize the importance of your memories and the value of appreciating your time with loved ones. Take more photos, share more meals, and create more experience with those that you love. Grief can help you create new and stronger relationships with those still here.  

Check-in with yourself today and reach out to someone special to you. Making relationships a daily practice will increase the beauty and love in your life. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”― Jamie Anderson.

Big Benefits from Journaling

Have you ever heard someone talk about journaling and thought, “I have no idea why I would want to journal or how I go about it.”? I used to think that journaling was something that only very creative, intelligent people routinely did. Great writers, scholars, and big thinkers were the only people that kept journals. Now, I know better. The more I journal and write, the better my life becomes. 

Journaling is about unloading the junk cluttering up your mind and getting it out where you can either leave it, learn from it, or use it to change and grow.  

The best thing about journaling is that there is no right or wrong way to do it. The second best thing about journaling is that we all can do it.

Why journal?

Journaling will reduce stress, increase self-awareness, and improve mental health. A study by Baikie and Wilhelm, 2005 found that journaling enhances working memory and helps people recover from past traumas. Journaling also has the short-term effect of boosting your mood and the long-term impact of improving your sense of well-being. 

Journaling has an impact on physical well-being. An avid journal writer and journalist, Michael Grothaus notes that “studies suggesting journaling can strengthen the immune system, drop blood pressure, help you sleep better, and generally keep you healthier.”

Journaling promotes your creativity, especially if you commit to it every day. It will also facilitate creative learning by establishing a record of important lessons presented to you and allowing you to explore your feelings about those lessons.

Gratitude journaling will boost your overall sense of gratitude and sensitivity to positive experiences. As you look for experiences to be grateful for, you will gradually become more optimistic, and your days will become filled with increasing positivity. 

Journaling may help you meet goals, organize time, prioritize tasks, and improve motivation. I use a “bullet journal” as a daily planner to keep track of what I accomplish each day. The bullet journal contains short (bullet) points to help organize my tasks, capture thoughts, and help complete my daily goals. 

Your journal is for your personal use only, so feel free to put your true self on each page. If you do not already have a journal, start one this week and tell me how it goes. It may feel awkward at first, but write anything that comes to mind. Getting thoughts out of your head will allow you to examine, organize, and grow your life.

Happy journaling! 

Dr. Julie Cappel

References:  Journaling is a good for your mental health - Family Care .... https://www.fcsprings.com/media/journaling-is-a-good-for-your-mental-health 

5 Helpful Journaling Methods to Calm Your Anxious Mind - Calming Grace. https://www.calminggrace.com/journaling-to-calm-your-mind/

Calming my Sunday Stress

Sometimes I tend to feel a little stressed on Sunday evenings, thinking that I need to “get things done” to feel accomplished for the weekend. I don’t believe that I am alone in this thinking; we all do it on some level. We waste our valuable time worrying or stressing about all the many things we want to get done. All the stress and worry that we feel distracts us from doing the things we want to do. It is Ironic. Equally ironic is that we do not need to do anything to feel calm and accomplished. We can choose to feel relaxed on Sunday regardless of how our weekend went or how many things got done. 

This weekend was jam-packed for me because I traveled to Norfolk, Virginia, to visit my daughter and son-in-law. My son-in-law, Erik, performed in an Opera, The Marriage of Figaro, starring as the title character. My daughter, Bridget flew in to spend time with Erik and see the show with me. We attended the show opening night, Friday, and again on Saturday night. Erik did a terrific job performing, as did all of the singers. Bridget and I had a fantastic time! 

Note: If you have not been to an Opera, The Marriage of Figaro is a great one to see. The music is fantastic, and the story is funny and entertaining, and you will enjoy it.

Now that I have arrived home, I have stressed over the many things I want to do, including this blog. So how do I remain calm and get something done or choose not to get anything done and still feel accomplished?

To calmly accomplish any task, we first have to stop thinking about how to do it perfectly and start working. If you wait for the perfect idea or time, you will “wait” your time away. Thinking about doing something creates confusion and keeps us from taking action to get it done. If you have a mile-long list in your head and cannot decide where to start, pick something and start. If the idea of choosing something makes you freeze or feel overwhelmed, take a few minutes with a blank sheet of paper and write everything that pops into your head onto the paper. Once you have your brainstorming session out of the way, pick the one thing that is most important to you. This will help you focus and get started. I did this tonight and chose to write this blog first.  

My suitcase, vacuuming, laundry, and calendar planning for this week will be next in line once I get this done. I also have the option to feel good about not getting any of it done. Choosing to cut me some slack and plan some of these tasks for tomorrow is part of caring for myself. It does not all have to be done tonight. Maybe I have done enough today, and that is fine. No one will judge me if I don’t unpack my suitcase and do my laundry tonight. I want to spend my time getting the blog done and not waste my time beating myself up for putting other things off. 

If you have some goal or task that has multiple steps to it, plan those out ahead of time, so you have steps. Small steps are much easier to face than big goals. I also like to set a timer for myself when working on something. If I decide that I will work on blogging, I give myself 1 hour, and I set my cell phone timer for an hour and start writing. The timer keeps me focused, so I do not get distracted by the other things on my list. 

Focus on one project at a time and take one small step. Do not try to wait till the timing is perfect. Just take action and get something started. You do not have to finish any of it, so let go of your need to do everything on your list to feel accomplished. Know that your confusion and stress are optional.  You are perfectly capable of doing more than you think you can do, and also capable of feeling calm while you do them. 

 

Now that my blog is done, I will plan out the rest of my week, with a relaxed attitude, my planning and working will all go better. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

Old Friends

Today is the final day of my biannual scrapbooking/crafting weekend with my girlfriends. To call us “girls” is probably a bit of a misnomer. We have been friends since we were in our twenties and now we are parents of adult children in their twenties. We are older and wiser now than when we met, and we have a long-term bond from the years of experiences we have lived through together. We have seen marriages, divorces, babies, pets, teenagers, college journeys, kids’ weddings, illness, loss, vacations, and years of scrapbooking weekends. The conversations we had over these three to four-day weekends could solve all the world’s problems if anyone listened to us. This band of “girls” has seen me through many events in my life, and I know that they will always have my back if something tragic happens.

According to an article written by the Mayo Clinic staff and published on their website, “Friendships: Enrich your life and improve your health.” I agree with that wholeheartedly, and there are so many benefits of making and keeping friends.  

Friends prevent us from feeling isolation or loneliness, providing companionship in times of need. They give us a sense of belonging and help us create purpose in our life. Friends boost our sense of happiness and reduce stress. They improve our self-confidence help us cope with trauma and illness. They encourage us to try new things and get out of our comfort zone. 

They may help you create better health habits by offering challenges. Just last night, I was marching up and down the stairs of the scrapbooking house trying to put in 5000 steps. Two women challenged me to join their stair walking loop to get to the 5000 steps they had decided to set as a goal while being stuck inside. Had they not challenged me to that goal, I probably would not have walked or exercised at all. We usually walk outside, but we experienced blowing snow and seventeen-degree temperatures this weekend, so no one wanted to step outside.

Although it may be challenging to maintain friendships as a busy adult, it pays to meet new friends and keep your relationships with friends from your past. It may take some effort from you to reach out to those you have not seen in a while but persist because it is worth it.

Stay in touch with people you work with or have worked with in the past. Nurture existing friendships by planning events together. These scrapbooking weekends are something that we all look forward to each spring and fall. If these weekends did not exist, I fear that we would not see each other for years. Setting up regular meetings with friends is the best way to nurture close relationships. 

If you feel “short” on friendships, join a club or take a class. I met one of my best friends twenty years ago because we took the same tap dancing class. We met on the first day as we were dancing next to each other, and we have been friends ever since. And we still take tap dancing class.

You can also meet people anywhere people are gathered. Charity events volunteer and opportunities are places to meet a friend. Don’t despair if you strike out the first few times you reach out to try to make a new friend. Be persistent, and you will be surprised how you can create a community for yourself. 

Accept invitations from neighbors or “new” friends. If you are not a theater geek, go to a show with someone. You may be surprised that you enjoy the company, even if you don’t love the show. Expand your horizons to expand your family or friends. 

Friends are essential to health and wellbeing; however, one of the best reasons to make and keep friends is that your life will be more fun. 

Enjoy the time you spend with your friends - laugh, challenge, love, and support. You will be better for the company of old friends. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

"Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together."  - Woodrow Wilson

Be Happy

Today while walking my dogs, Trent and Parker, through the neighborhood, I received a little message from the universe. (It was a chalk drawing on the sidewalk.) It said, “Be Happy.”

We often forget that it is up to us to choose to be happy, so today’s message was an excellent reminder for me. Happiness does not come from outside sources; it comes from within. How you think about your life’s circumstances determines your level of happiness. If you choose to think happy thoughts or take happy action, you can feel more joy.

That being said, there are some ways that you can work to increase your capacity to feel happy.  

Take a walk or run outside. In his book, The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor, teaches that spending time outdoors in the fresh air can improve your happiness. A study found that spending 20 minutes outside in good weather broadened thinking, improved memory, and increased happiness. The American Meteorological Society published another study that found that happiness is maximized at 57 degrees, the exact temperature today when I walked the dogs. 

Spend some time with family and friends. Spending time with people we care for is a fast path to happiness. Smiling, laughing, and sharing life’s stories add to feelings of security and belonging. Daniel Gilbert, a Harvard psychology professor, says, “We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends, and almost all other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends.” 

Spend time helping others. Spending time and money helping others has been shown to help us feel more happiness. Living generously brings feelings of satisfaction and wellbeing, making us feel happier than people doing things for us. Martin Seligman explains that helping others can improve our own lives; he says, “scientists have found that doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in wellbeing of any exercise we have tested.” Think about different ways to serve and give, including your time and money. Helping other people will ultimately help you.

Work on your smile. Today, when I saw the sidewalk chalk, I smiled. The surprise of finding the “Be Happy” message, and the lovely day with my dogs, made me feel happier. It has been proven that smiling improves your mood and even the fake smiling that we do when acting friendly and social causes more happiness. There is a link between your face smiling and the thoughts that cause you to feel increased joy. So try on a smile or laugh to be happy. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” —Omar Khayyam.

Thinking, not overthinking.

Have you ever wished that you could live in the present moment, make firm decisions, and never worry about anything? Many of the world’s most successful and happy people do just that much of the time. They do not spend their time overthinking decisions; they consider the options, make a choice, and deal with the consequences of their decision. 

Overthinking is the primary cause of a worried, unfocused, and unsettled mind. The bad news is that many of us are natural over thinkers, developing a pattern of worry based on our past life experiences. The good news is our thoughts are under our control, and we can learn to overthink less and become more settled.

Before we can change our thinking, we need to become aware of why we worry and overthink. Take some time to explore your past thought patterns and think about your fears. Many of us overthink due to our fear of future failures based on something that happened in the past. We may worry about a client yelling at us, based on the fact that someone yelled at us before. We may overthink a surgery that we had a problem with in the past. 

We want to change our overthinking to make us happier and healthier. Worry and overthinking cause stress and can have emotional and physical tolls on our bodies. Chronic overthinking has been shown to suppress the immune system making us more susceptible to disease. 

How can we change our overthinking?

Work to let go of the past. When negative stories come up in your head, try to accept the past without dwelling there. Learn from your mistakes, but do not fear making more. Strong decisions require that we make the best choice based on the information that we currently have. Worrying about choices from the past will keep you stuck in inaction.

Take control of your emotions. Being present and living in the moment does not mean avoiding your negative emotion. You need to feel your feelings and learn about the thoughts behind your emotion. The more we fight our negative emotions, the stronger they may become. Working on your thoughts will help you to change your feelings.

Focus on solutions. Much of the stress created by overthinking is the thought that there is no solution to our current situation. If you take one small step towards solving the problem, you will start to work out the overthinking paralysis. 

Overthinking may feel normal at times, but it may prevent you from taking action and creating your best life. When overthinking is causing you physical or emotional pain take some small steps to get more focused on the present.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.” - Tony Robbins

Mindset Matters

The longer I work in veterinary medicine, the more I learn about my mindset and how it matters to my overall life experience. So much of what we feel both physically and mentally comes from our thoughts, whether we realize it or not. I always think of myself as having my head on straight and feeling in control of my life, but when my brain gets stressed and overwhelmed it can derail me.

Much of our mindset is developed during childhood and is developed through our experiences. We can embrace a positive or negative attitude depending on past situations and memories. We can lean towards a fixed or growth mindset depending on whether we were praised more for our intelligence or effort.

Many of us struggle with our negative mindset because we don’t accept ourselves for who we really are. We are focused on how our life should be, and we argue with reality and push ourselves to keep up with others in our circle or social media. In truth, we need to start with self-love and realize our value as unique humans. We are worthy just because God created us. That does not mean that we cannot strive to be and feel happier, but we need to remain faithful to ourselves. You will feel much better if you compare yourself to yourself and not someone else.

A fixed mindset believes that we are born with a fixed amount of intelligence and abilities. A growth mindset believes that with practice and effort, we have limitless potential. We all practice a combination of fixed and growth mindsets, so observe where you are in each circumstance. Do you feel stuck in your abilities or open to learning? It matters what you think about yourself when you are faced with challenges. If you believe that you are helpless, you will remain where you are. If you feel that you can learn and grow, life will open up to you.  

When you feel overwhelmed with your life, surround yourself with positive people who love and support you. Talking and laughing with family and friends can do a great deal to improve your mindset. Family and friends will also help you open up to challenges by supporting you in your goals. We all struggle occasionally, and having a solid support system at home and work is imperative to improving your mindset.

This week I vow to work on my mindset by accepting myself as worthy and appreciating my relationships with friends and family. I will work towards possibilities by embracing growth. Work on your mindset this week because it matters.  

Dr. Julie Cappel

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” - Wayne Dyer.

Practice, patience, and perseverance

Today is Super Bowl Sunday, and I am watching along with about 100 million other people. This year the big game features the LA Rams and the Cincinnati Bengals playing at SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles. The pregame build-up on NBC, including the players' backstories, always reminds me of a very simple life lesson that we can all take away from the spectacle. Practice, patience, and perseverance are three main ingredients needed to create success. 

To reach the pinnacle of your profession, you must continually practice your craft. To practice is "to perform (an activity) or exercise (a skill) repeatedly or regularly to improve or maintain one's proficiency." In the book, Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell says that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something. As veterinarians and leaders, we are familiar with the fact that we need to improve continuously. We may struggle with the mistakes that inevitably come with practice, but the only way to learn and grow is to continue to work at it. 

Patience is a virtue, but we don't always think of it as getting us ahead in life. Patience, it turns out, is what most people at the top of their game possess. Take Matthew Stafford, for example. He played with the Detroit Lions for 12 seasons before moving to LA. Now he is playing in the Super Bowl. You might say that he ran out of patience with the Lions, but he stayed there, perfected his craft, then pushed forward to get where he wanted to go.  Those who lack patience will invariably quit before making it to the top. Veterinarians practice patience every day with clients and with pets. Although patience is not my strongest quality, I know I have to embrace it to stay present and engaged for my work.

Perseverance is "persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success." Perseverance also involves patience and the ability to take rejection and failure. The author of the Harry Potter Series, J.K. Rowling, manually typed out each version of her first book to send to publishers because she could not afford a computer. She was rejected twelve times before finding a publisher whose daughter loved her book. If she had not persevered, we would not have the books, the movies, and the theme park at Universal Studios, Orlando, and J.K. would not have piles of cash.

I hope you enjoy your Super Bowl Sunday, even if you only watch the game for the commercials or the half-time show. Remember that even the silly commercials took practice, patience, and perseverance to create. Anything worthwhile does.

Dr. Julie Cappel

The applause.

Last week I wrote about my trip to Dallas, Texas, to attend the new opera, Zorro. It was a fantastic trip and a beautiful Opera, but what made it even better was the visit with my daughter and son-in-law. They are incredible people and are prime examples of people who dedicate their lives to a craft they love. Years of work lead to brief moments of glory on stage, performing for an appreciative audience and applause from opera fans.

It makes me think about our veterinary profession that, in a way, it is much like performing. Granted, we do not get to sing or dance - unless we are making TikTok or Instagram videos - but performing our daily duties as veterinarians is much like rehearsing and performing on stage. We spend years of study, patiently practicing, to get to the dream of our veterinary work. Much of it can become mundane, and we start to feel burned out, but the rewards are sweet when we get them. They can be like applause at the end of a performance.

Just yesterday, I was excited to see a patient of mine. He is a 28-year-old Quaker Parrot (Monk Parakeet) that has been suffering from heart failure for over two years. His lovely and kind “Dad” brought him in for his annual wellness checkup with me to discuss his progress and give him the OK to continue with his cardiac medications. This bird and its owner have a strong bond. They spend their days together, and the owner remains dedicated to his care. He cooks for him, gives him several medications twice a day, carries him around the house as he can no longer fly. When I saw him last year, he was so weak that the owner had him in a shoebox with no lid. The bird sat there in the box and allowed me to examine him and listen to his failing heart gently. This year was much the same, but I can honestly say as sick as he is, he looked better than last year.  As I finished my exam and talked to the owner about continued care, I told him that the bird was only alive today due to his dedication and meticulous care. He then said to me, “We would not be here without you. You are the best, doc.”  I wished them well and promised to see them both next year, God willing. 

Those two sentences from a kind and dedicated pet owner feel like applause to me. Appreciation from our clients and healthy pets' lives is our veterinary reward.

Dedication is a tough road. It is often unrewarding, and critics can beat us down, unhappy clients who leave us negative reviews or call to scold us when we are running behind. Like the Opera singers, we do it for the successes, when we get the audience appreciation and applause at the end of our performance. When we get the diagnosis right, make the save, perform the successful surgery. That is our applause.

Try to appreciate the little bursts of applause that come to you this week. Bask in the appreciation of your clients and patients. Look for those moments and enjoy them. Take your bow because you put in the hard work to get to where you can save animals and help people. That is what it is all about. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“The applause of a single human being is of great consequence.” - Raymond Hull

Luck Happens

The cell phone rang Thursday afternoon, and my daughter Bridget picked it up and said, "Hi Joe." Joe is the artistic director of Fort Worth Opera, where Bridget performed last night in the world premiere of Zorro on the Fort Worth Opera Stage. (I happened to be there in Texas to see the performances.) She listened to Joe on the other end and said, "Yes, oh, ok, ok, yes, he is right here. Do you want to talk to him?"

Erik, my son-in-law, also an Opera singer, did not perform in the production on opening night but was acting as a cover for the main baritone character. When you cover a role in a show, you prepare the part and learn the music on the off chance that someone in the cast may be unable to perform, then you jump in at the last minute. Usually, the covers would attend all rehearsals to prepare, but in this case, due to Covid protocol, the covers learned the show over zoom with no stage preparation. 

Today was the day that preparation combined with opportunity created luck. Erik is to sing the role of General Moncada in the next two performances of Zorro. Covid testing took out the original cast member and caused a significant change in plans. 

Erik took the phone from Bridget and turned a little pale as he listened to Joe. Joe outlined how they would prepare Erik in the next 28 hours to go on stage Friday evening as General Moncada. It would be a significant cram session with the director, musicians, costumers, and choreographer. Keep in mind that he must sing in English and Spanish, act, learn stage direction, cues, costumes, costume changes, sword fight choreography, and everything else that he had not rehearsed.

He looked panic-stricken as he clicked off the call with Joe. He yelled out something that I would not repeat, shaking the house with his big booming baritone voice. How would he be ready to go on stage in a few short hours? After a pep talk from his wife, Bridget, and his voice teacher, Michael, he took off to the theatre to get to work.

Is it luck or hard work that gives you these opportunities in life? Is it possible to create your own good fortune?

Psychologist Richard Wiseman studied the lives of 400 people over ten years to see if certain people are luckier than others. He found that it may be possible to create your luck by adjusting your outlook and perspective. He discovered that unlucky people were often more anxious, timid, and stuck in the details. But lucky people were more laid-back and open to possibility.  Lucky people are more likely to be resilient and see a bit of "bad luck" as something to turn into good. They also were better at listening to their intuition and expecting the best, and their optimism may actually create better luck.

In this case, Bridget and Erik have put in the work. They have studied music for years, singing, acting, auditioning, and preparing for their break into the brutal world of Opera. They have done many shows and continue to hone their craft each day in preparation for that next big role. In this case, they happened to land the same show; you could say that Erik got a lucky break, but he would not have been hired to cover if the Opera company didn't think he could do it. He was prepared by many years of study and 28 hours of emergency coaching. 

If you do the work to prepare for the things you want in life, you will be ready to say yes and take action when the opportunity comes. There is no luck without preparation, hard work, and effort. Getting offered a part is not the same as being ready when offered the role and going for it. If you do not act, nothing happens. So the next time you see someone who seems lucky, remember that most of their luck comes from having a positive outlook and working to be prepared for the next opportunity.  

Preparation allows you to say yes to the opportunity and step into your good fortune. 

Congratulations, Bridget and Erik! You inspire me to keep working to be a better person.

Dr. Julie Cappel (Your Proud Mom)

"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."― Seneca.

"I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it." - Thomas Jefferson.

It is only one test.

This Friday, as I was casually scrolling through Instagram, I noticed that many of the veterinary students and new graduates were anxiously awaiting the scores of their NAVLE. The North American Veterinary Licensing Exam is the 360 questions multiple-choice test that veterinarians must pass to get their veterinary license in the United States and Canada. It is not enough for these students to get through four grueling years of veterinary school; they must also pass this monster, seven and one-half hour exam. Some Instagram stories contained videos of students along with their families opening the passing scores and cheering wildly. While I was typing messages of congratulations to those that passed, I couldn’t help thinking about those that did not. Those students must be devastated. 

There were no Instagram videos of the shock and sorrow of those that received a score of less than 425. I can only imagine the disappointment and panic they must feel when they miss the mark and realize that they need to take the exam again or give up their dream of veterinary medicine. Many of them have jobs lined up or need to work to pay back student loans.

How can we support our veterinary community when they face a failure like this or any other?

Listen and express empathy. When someone fails, they need to go through all the stages of grief before they are ready to move on. Depending on the gravity of the failure, they may spend much of their time grieving. As a friend or mentor, you can be there to support them and listen to their fears and frustrations. Having a safe, understanding friend is the best thing for someone during grief.

Help them to see the other side of their failure. Sometimes when we fail, we cannot see beyond failure to solution. As a friend, you may see several solutions to the problem at hand. If you offer solutions and remain open as they consider those solutions, it will go a long way in making them feel supported. When they feel supported, they will have an easier time overcoming self-doubt to find a way to try again.

Failure never defines you, but it is one of the things that often makes life difficult. Failure will always be on your pathway to succeed. The NAVLE is just one test on one day, and keeping that in mind will allow you to see it for what it is, a few wrong answers on an exam. Take some time to care for yourself then make a plan and get back to work. You will be stronger from this experience.  

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” - Robert F. Kennedy.