Sometimes I tend to feel a little stressed on Sunday evenings, thinking that I need to “get things done” to feel accomplished for the weekend. I don’t believe that I am alone in this thinking; we all do it on some level. We waste our valuable time worrying or stressing about all the many things we want to get done. All the stress and worry that we feel distracts us from doing the things we want to do. It is Ironic. Equally ironic is that we do not need to do anything to feel calm and accomplished. We can choose to feel relaxed on Sunday regardless of how our weekend went or how many things got done.
This weekend was jam-packed for me because I traveled to Norfolk, Virginia, to visit my daughter and son-in-law. My son-in-law, Erik, performed in an Opera, The Marriage of Figaro, starring as the title character. My daughter, Bridget flew in to spend time with Erik and see the show with me. We attended the show opening night, Friday, and again on Saturday night. Erik did a terrific job performing, as did all of the singers. Bridget and I had a fantastic time!
Note: If you have not been to an Opera, The Marriage of Figaro is a great one to see. The music is fantastic, and the story is funny and entertaining, and you will enjoy it.
Now that I have arrived home, I have stressed over the many things I want to do, including this blog. So how do I remain calm and get something done or choose not to get anything done and still feel accomplished?
To calmly accomplish any task, we first have to stop thinking about how to do it perfectly and start working. If you wait for the perfect idea or time, you will “wait” your time away. Thinking about doing something creates confusion and keeps us from taking action to get it done. If you have a mile-long list in your head and cannot decide where to start, pick something and start. If the idea of choosing something makes you freeze or feel overwhelmed, take a few minutes with a blank sheet of paper and write everything that pops into your head onto the paper. Once you have your brainstorming session out of the way, pick the one thing that is most important to you. This will help you focus and get started. I did this tonight and chose to write this blog first.
My suitcase, vacuuming, laundry, and calendar planning for this week will be next in line once I get this done. I also have the option to feel good about not getting any of it done. Choosing to cut me some slack and plan some of these tasks for tomorrow is part of caring for myself. It does not all have to be done tonight. Maybe I have done enough today, and that is fine. No one will judge me if I don’t unpack my suitcase and do my laundry tonight. I want to spend my time getting the blog done and not waste my time beating myself up for putting other things off.
If you have some goal or task that has multiple steps to it, plan those out ahead of time, so you have steps. Small steps are much easier to face than big goals. I also like to set a timer for myself when working on something. If I decide that I will work on blogging, I give myself 1 hour, and I set my cell phone timer for an hour and start writing. The timer keeps me focused, so I do not get distracted by the other things on my list.
Focus on one project at a time and take one small step. Do not try to wait till the timing is perfect. Just take action and get something started. You do not have to finish any of it, so let go of your need to do everything on your list to feel accomplished. Know that your confusion and stress are optional. You are perfectly capable of doing more than you think you can do, and also capable of feeling calm while you do them.
Now that my blog is done, I will plan out the rest of my week, with a relaxed attitude, my planning and working will all go better.
Dr. Julie Cappel
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