This weekend we lost a close family friend to heart disease. It was not unexpected as she had lived with a failing heart for the past few years. Expected but still devastating for her family and friends, who will miss her presence every day. Sadly, I will not attend her memorial service tomorrow as I am in California on a trip with my husband to visit our son and his girlfriend and meet her family and friends. I will be there in spirit with the grieving family as they mourn the loss of their mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and dear friend.
When life brings us grief, whether it is the loss of a family member or close friend, we are left with a broken heart and a void in our life. The void once contained a loving relationship, and all the feelings and memories we shared with the person lost.
Our grief will be felt and processed, and through that processing, we may be reminded that we have lessons to learn and changes to make in our lives.
We may learn to appreciate our friends and family more. If you look around and realize that there are people in your life that you are taking for granted or have not seen in a while, you may be reminded to reach out to them and spend more time with those you love. Little moments count.
You may realize that life is short, and you need to appreciate your small blessings. You may quit wasting time worrying about little problems or minor disappointments. You may choose not to dwell on mistakes and learn to move on.
You may make changes that reignite your passions in life so you do not miss the time you do have to enjoy. Grief may be carried forward while creating more joy in your life. Both negative and positive emotions may co-exist.
You may learn to simplify your life. You let go of grudges, envy, and anxiety. You may learn to replace those negative emotions with more gratitude and love. Gratitude is a daily practice that will turn your life in a more positive, optimistic direction.
You may learn to remain present daily and see your life for what it is. You may work harder to get what you want from your life and do what it takes to create your dreams. Grief is not weakness; it creates an ability to be present. It creates more strength.
You may realize the importance of your memories and the value of appreciating your time with loved ones. Take more photos, share more meals, and create more experience with those that you love. Grief can help you create new and stronger relationships with those still here.
Check-in with yourself today and reach out to someone special to you. Making relationships a daily practice will increase the beauty and love in your life.
Dr. Julie Cappel
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”― Jamie Anderson.
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