A Night at the Opera.

This week I spent a few days in Indianola Iowa at the Des Moines Metro Opera. They have a beautiful theatre in which they perform full scale opera with a large orchestra and chorus.  My daughter was performing in Candide and La Bohème and I was able to attend multiple performances.   While I was there, I got a great education in the theatre/opera arts as well as a lesson in overcoming obstacles.

During the Friday night performance of Candide, one of the main characters came onstage after a costume change.  As she started singing her scene, the side zipper of her costume completely ripped open.  Her pink bra and entire side were exposed to the audience, so she quickly made a parting comment and hurried back off of the stage. That left the audience and the actors standing awkwardly by while the costumers backstage tried to put her dress back together.  The orchestra played the same bars of music over and over and the actors onstage made a few jokes to lighten the mood.  The actress with the ripped dress called out from the wings that she was “so close!” and “almost ready!”; the audience laughed and played along, and the other singers waited patiently for her to return to the stage to continue the opera. 

Once she was back on stage with a table cloth pinned around her to cover her damaged dress (yep, that was the best they could do), she continued the performance with a few new jokes woven into the story about her unfortunate dress.  This grand production that the team of artists had worked on for weeks, fell prey to one defective zipper. The show carried on and was more warmly received than the previous night’s performance.

Watching this unfold, I was reminded that life is full of obstacles and we all fall victim to unexpected circumstances.  So how can we take a lesson from this opera singer and continue to perform in spite of our challenges? 

Don’t get caught up in the mental drama that your mind will create around a challenge.  Try to gain perspective either by taking some time to explore options or talking to another person that is not emotionally involved with your obstacle.  Getting outside perspective is a great way to keep your mind from indulging in stressful drama.

Focus on solutions and resources needed to address your obstacle.   Often times an obstacle presents that revolves around a lack of resources.  If you focus your attention on understanding what is needed, then take steps to acquire those resources, you will start to chip away at the obstacle and get closer to a solution.  

Author Jeff Olson writes in The Slight Edge: “There are going to be all types of obstacles placed in front of you during your lifetime. And you can determine the size of a person by the size of the problem that keeps them down. Successful people look at a problem and see opportunity.”

Develop a growth mindset, be strong and don’t quit.  Most people do not overcome their obstacles because they feel inadequate.  Having mental strength and resilience when you tackle a problem will get you over your hurdles and propel you to success. 

Overcome your obstacles and continue to sing!

Dr. Julie Cappel



Join me on the Podcast - The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast with Dr. Julie Cappel
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730?mt=2

Life Lessons from my Old Cat – Never Quit!

Yesterday I was preparing my household for a week long vacation.  At my house, that means farming out my animals to their respective pet sitters.  My two dogs, Parker and Trent almost always spend their time with my amazing friend (and a super veterinary technician) Carolyn.  She and her husband graciously take care of my boys whenever I have to go out of town.  They live on a beautiful property with their two dogs, some cats (don’t ask how many), and three horses - so my dogs always have a wonderful time.  I feel so blessed that I have them.   

 

Then there is my old cat, Peter, who is 18 ½ years old and battling cancer.  He is essentially in hospice care, but he does not know it.  He is a sweet-natured strange looking cat, with a skinny little head, too plump body, and very long skinny legs.  He is genuinely one of the sweetest things that has ever walked the earth, but he is distinctly unattractive.  Peter gets to stay at work with my fabulous veterinary team, and they treat him like royalty. They give him an entire exam room to stay in each night so he can move around and stretch his old arthritic joints.

Moving Peter to work for his vacation stay started me thinking about how he refuses to quit.  He has had cancer for well over a year now, and he hasn’t really noticed. He happily eats what he is served, purrs when petted, and rubs on his hairbrush to groom his scraggly fur.

Why is it that pets never quit? Why are they so amazingly brave and determined?

What lessons can we learn from Peter?

Do not feel sorry for yourself.  Whatever negative things you are handling today, there is always someone that is dealing with something more.  Remember that life is going to be difficult at times, but we can learn a great deal from difficulties.

Do not relive or focus on the past.  Realize that when you are dealing with something in your past, you have no superpower to change it.  Feel it, study it (briefly), learn the lesson that it was put there to teach you, then let it go.   Living there is a waste of time.

Let go of the excuses.  You can always come up with a reason to give up, but if you look for a reason to keep going, you can find that too.  Creating excuses to quit will never lead you to the vision you need to succeed.

If you quit at little things, you are training your brain to quit on everything.  Persevering in every little thing, will train your brain to succeed.  Everything you do in your life that is truly worthwhile takes some focused effort.  Quitting derails the focus on your goals and leads to a life without challenge and purpose.

People often complain, gripe, and worry about the smallest things.  Let’s learn a lesson from our cats, like my Peter, and refuse to quit.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Every champion was once a contender who refused to give up.” – Rocky Balboa

Join me on the Podcast - The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast with Dr. Julie Cappel 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730?mt=2

Letting go of expectations – Tear up your script.

If you want to have disappointment and stress in your life, all you have to do is hang on to your script of expectations for the people around you.  We all have narratives in our heads that expect people to think, speak, act and behave in a way that we think they “should” behave.  The script that you have for others is based on your past experience, values and beliefs about how life should be lived and experienced.  

You will have more stress and pain if you expect your clients, family or veterinary team to act exactly the way you plan.  So much of the stress that you experience each day when dealing with clients is your expectations that they are going to act in a certain way.  You expect them to keep their appointment, show up on time, listen and agree to your diagnostic recommendations, follow your go home instructions to a tee, and then return for their recheck appointment on schedule.  This will almost never happen, so why do you expect it?  With our scripts of expectation, we are certainly setting ourselves up for disappointment - if not stress and burn-out.

Recently I experienced a client that challenged my script for them.  A mother and daughter that adopted a young kitten that was battling some diarrhea issues.  They had made multiple visits to the hospital with this kitten and had done all the diagnostics that I had asked them to do.  During the most recent visit we agreed to try the kitten on a bland prescription diet for a short time to see if we could remedy the problem.  We sent home some dry and canned prescription food, and they were instructed to feed only this diet for 1 week, then return for a recheck.  My “script” assumed that they would follow my recommendations.  One week later when they returned saying the kitten was no better, I questioned them about the diet.  They said, “Oh, we haven’t started him on that food yet.”  I am thinking, “What?  Why?”  

So Fascinating, right?

Human beings all have their own set of beliefs, values and needs.  This is not something that you can dictate.  They will behave as they behave, and you have no control over them.  The sooner you accept and embrace this fact, the sooner you can alleviate much of the stress in your job and life.  

How do you alleviate the stress of expectation?

You need to let go of your internal script for people and allow them to be who they are.  When they are acting in a manner that does not adhere to your script, it is almost never about you.  It is about them and their internal beliefs, past experiences and values.  You cannot force them into your way of thinking. Expectations that are unfulfilled always result in disappointment.  So why expect at all?

Trust that people are doing the best that they can with their resources, time and energy.  When you experience someone doing something upsetting to you, remember that they are responding to their own primitive brain and are being driven by their autopilot.  They are probably feeling stressed by their own thoughts of inadequacy or their own past experiences.  They have a different set of past experiences than you do, so of course they will react differently than you would to the same situation.  Assume that they are doing their very best.  

Try to be fascinated by human behavior and enjoy the element of surprise. Fascination and appreciation are the emotions that you want to embrace with every encounter.  Appreciate the unique value of every human that you encounter. Embrace and enjoy the element of surprise.  If you expect to be fascinated and appreciative of human behavior it will go a long way to helping you overcome your need to control people and the situation. 

If you can let go of your expectations and tear up your script, your life will open up like never before.

“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.” -  Michael J. Fox

Dr. Julie Cappel

Join me on The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast!

 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730