Practicing gratitude in hard times.

When life is going well it is easy to be grateful.   When we find ourselves in the midst of a life challenge or even disaster, gratitude takes a significant effort.  It does not seem natural to turn to gratitude while we are caught in uncertainty, but that is exactly what we need to do to lessen our fear and improve our outlook. 

In his book Gratitude Works, Robert Emmons says, “…not only will a grateful attitude help – it is essential.  In fact, it is precisely under crisis conditions when we have the most to gain by a grateful perspective on life.”

Gratitude changes our perspective.  No one is grateful for a disease pandemic, but when feelings of helplessness begin to fill our thoughts, deliberately practicing gratitude will bring more feelings of hope. 

How do we practice gratitude when we don’t feel particularly grateful?

Start small.  When many things are going wrong, look for one small blessing and embrace it.  It may be something as small as sunshine on your face, a healthy meal, or a roof over your head.  Try to notice the things that you don’t always notice.  Looking for small blessings during a storm will help you to refocus on something more positive.  Try listing them out on paper and then studying them.  Putting the list in a prominent place to read daily will help keep you focused on things that you can control.  One sentence that I posted on my refrigerator says, “Right now, I have everything that I need.”

Share hope with others in need.  While you are feeling stressed and uncertain, you know others are feeling that way as well.   Reaching out to someone in a similar or worse situation than yours will help you move your mind from thoughts of “poor me” to “how can I help”.  Problem solving and serving others helps bring feelings of hope to the people you help, and to yourself.  When others express their gratitude to you, it will remind you that there is a future together.

Take one small constructive action.  Clean your closet, cook a meal, or make a craft that you have been wanting to make.  Text or call your friends and family and tell them that you are thinking of them or praying for them.  Keeping focused on the things that you can control will allow you to feel more positive and useful.

Practicing gratitude in a deliberate way is an exercise in changing your thoughts. It must be an active pursuit and will not be easy but is the best way to cope with adversity.   So, start small, share hope and do something constructive every day to change your attitude, your mind, and your world.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie

Leadership in Uncertain Times

These have been a rough few weeks dealing with our changing world.  There have always been dangers to contend with, but this seems so much bigger.  The world is fighting the same viral enemy and in order to prevail we have to have strong leaders.  Not just world leaders but thought leaders that give us tools to deal with fear and negativity.  With this in mind I listened today to John Maxwell’s webinar called, “Leadership in Tough Times”.  John is one of my favorite speakers on leadership and he shared some leadership traits that we can all embrace to help us stay strong and positive when things around us feel chaotic. 

Leaders make courageous decisions.  Leaders do not have to know the correct answers, but they need to make strong decisions in spite of the uncertainty. At our veterinary hospital we are trying to balance serving the pet owning public, keeping pet’s healthy, and caring for our team.  There is so much uncertainty in that.    Andy Stanley said, “Uncertainty is not an indication of poor leadership.  Rather it indicates a need for leadership.  The nature of leadership demands that there always be an element of uncertainty.”   

Leaders value teamwork.  We see the evidence daily in the photos of doctors and nurses providing care, risking their own health to save others.  They ban together to provide the services that we all need to combat the enemy. They are truly leaders in every respect.  They remain optimistic and filled with compassion working together for a common goal.   We as their potential patients need to honor and respect them by remaining part of the team; staying as healthy as we can to allow them to do their work. 

Leaders give hope and trust in God.  We can all be leaders by spreading hope, prayers, and love to those around us.  Keep your distance but reach out to family, friends and neighbors and let them know that you care.  If they are in need, offer to help in any way that you can. John W. Gardner said, “The first and last task of a leader is to keep hope alive – the hope that we can finally find our way through to a better world – despite the day’s action, despite our own inertness and shallowness and wavering resolve.” 

So, thank you John Maxwell for sharing your wisdom, reinforcing my hope, and improving my attitude.  With all of us acting as leaders, there is nothing that we can not do. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

When life gives us fear.

This has been a week that we will never forget.  We are dealing with something around the world that we have not experienced before.  We have been overwhelmed with the news, media hype, and the fear that it is bringing - fear of the unknown.  How do we deal with the fear and uncertainty?  Buying toilet paper seems to be one way.

Our brains always go to worst-case scenario thinking when something significant or unusual happens.  This is not always a bad thing because worst case scenario thinking helps us prepare for the worst; however, if we concentrate on and believe our worst-case scenario, we cause ourselves more stress than is healthy. 

So how do we control our worry or concern while staying positive to care for our families and friends?  How do we keep ourselves safe and healthy without becoming selfish and greedy with our time, money and supplies?  

First, we have to control our worry.  Believe me that I am not a stranger to this effort.  I have parents and children that I love deeply that I do not want to see become ill.  I also have a business and team that will be hurt severely by an economic downturn.  The worry is natural and understandable, but we must overcome worry and concern, and replace it with gratitude for the things that we do have:  food, shelter, clothing and even toilet paper.

How do we change our thinking when we are faced with a negative circumstance such as this?

Write down your thoughts.  It is useful to get all the thoughts about a negative circumstance out of your head and onto paper so you can sort the rational from the irrational.  Fear and worry are normal emotions, but if you look at the many thoughts that are causing your fear, you can see some of them as unreasonable.  Many of the thoughts that our brain offers are over exaggerated.  Once you sort out the facts from the exaggerated thoughts, you can start to let go of your fear and concentrate on the things that you can control.

Once you understand that your thoughts create your fear and worry, you can choose to think differently about the uncertain times that we are in.  You can choose to think of this as a time to reconnect with yourself and your family in a more meaningful way.  You can choose renewed faith in your fellow human beings to do what is best to defeat any challenge. 

I encourage you to look for the good in this challenge.  See that the world is pulling together in many ways to help in the fight.  In difficult times it is up to us to change our thoughts and to choose to connect more deeply with others thorough service.  

We cannot control what is happening nor foresee the future, but we can control the way we think about it.  We need to spread love and care for our families, friends and neighbors.

Take care of yourself and your loved ones. And keep healthy.

Dr. Julie Cappel

"Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones."
--Thich Nhat Hanh

We all worry.

I have said it before and I will say it again, I have a struggle with worry.  Last week it was worry about my health, this week it is worry about an upcoming presentation that I have scheduled.  Worry seems to be firmly rooted in my DNA in a way that seems to follow me, but through my life coaching I have learned some proven ways to deal with my worry and stop it from becoming full blown anxiety. 

There are times in life when a little worry seems appropriate to the circumstance.  When preparing for a presentation, like I will be doing this week.  A little worry can keep me on my toes.  How many people will be there, how will the traffic be, how well will the audience respond, or will I be interesting?  All the things my brain brings up.   It is also somewhat normal to worry a bit before a job interview or perhaps a first date. 

Why do we worry?  The worry is our brain wanting to protect us from all the terrible things that could happen, but it is seldom productive.

When we worry too much our body produces stress hormones that can cause us physical issues.  When we do not appropriately deal with stress or worry, it can get out of control and cause us to spiral into anxiety. The definition of anxiety is, “a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks”.

How do we keep our minor worries from becoming anxiety?

Examine your thoughts.  Being present in the moment and really looking at your thoughts will help you sort out the imagined danger from the reality.  The fact that I have a presentation is not really anxiety provoking until I imagine the worst.  If I realize that my imagination is making up worst case scenarios, I can stop my imagination and examine the facts.  Once I have sorted through the facts and thoughts, I can see that I am not in any real danger.  I can think better to feel better; letting go of the worry and preventing anxiety.

Do not try to avoid your feelings.  When we worry about our worry it compounds and gains strength.  The physical feelings of rapid heart rate, nervous sweating, upset stomach or lightheadedness will not have the power over you if you are willing to feel them all the way through.  Allow yourself to feel them and realize that they are being created in your mind. Breathe deeply and accept that you are feeling worried.   If you are unafraid of the feelings that worry and anxiety bring, they will pass faster with less power over you.   When we try to avoid feeling our feelings, we create more anxiety with the internal fight.

Do not procrastinate. We have a tendency to let worry and anxiety cause us to put off what we really want to do.  We get caught in the thought loop of negativity that will stop us from progressing.  When we procrastinate, we are giving into the power of the worry and anxiety.  If we decide to take action in spite of our worry, we will accomplish more and gain the strength it takes to face the next obstacle.  Taking action even when you feel worried will help push you forward towards your goals and dreams.  Taking one small action will cause the worry to dissipate. 

Keep your feet on the ground and breathe deeply when worry and anxiety arrive.  If you are struggling, reach out for help.  We all feel worry and anxiety at some point in our lives and you are not alone.  Be grateful that you have the ability to understand yourself and feel any emotion.  The ability to understand yourself and why you worry is the first step in overcoming your stress, worry, and anxiety.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.”
― Corrie Ten Boom

Join my Weekly Words of Support!  https://www.juliecappel.com

Join me on the Podcast!!  

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

*https://www.octanner.com/landing/awards-programs.html

“So Busy” – Creating an Abundance Mindset

So many days in our busy veterinary hospital we become overwhelmed, stressed out, and ultimately burned out by the sheer volume of tasks that have to be done in a short period of time.  I was reminded of this fact on Saturday as we worked a full schedule with two fast-paced veterinarians. We were running from room to room treating ear infections, giving vaccines, reading radiographs, and ordering blood tests.  The technicians that worked with us were doing everything from blood draws and nail trims, to anal glands and urinalysis.  They seemed just as overwhelmed and stressed as we were.  As we all ran around -- doing our best to attend to the many pets and people that were visiting us -- it occurred to me that instead of being stressed that we are too busy, maybe we should be grateful that we are so busy.  Maybe having all of those clients and pets in our reception area is more of a blessing than a curse.  It reminded me that we need to remember to focus more on the abundance that we are offered, rather than focusing on a scarcity mentality.

 

Our habit is to focus on scarcity.  A scarcity mindset comes from a place where we think that there is a limit on valuable things in the world.  We believe that there is only so much that we can accomplish or achieve because someone else already accomplished it.  We see other people with success and think that there is no success left for us because they have it all.  People with a scarcity mindset will focus on self-preservation and resentment.  They will be closed off to creative thinking and possibilities.  If we focus on scarcity on a busy Saturday, we will feel stressed about all the things that we have to do.

An abundant mindset says that there is plenty of everything out there in the world for everyone.  Enough time, enough money, and enough resources for all.   If we embrace that way of thinking, a reception room full of clients becomes something that we desire rather than dread.  The change in mindset allows us to look at the situation differently and allows us to be more creative and positive as we navigate the day. 

How do we change from a scarcity to an abundance mindset?

Choose to see everything as an opportunity rather than a duty.  When challenges come, think of them as a way to be creative with your solutions.  Ask your team for ideas to be more effective at getting the tasks done.   Realize that you control the way you choose to react and set an example to your team by reacting with positive energy.   See the pet-loaded reception area as opportunity to expand your problem-solving muscle and make more money for your team, rather than taxing and draining your energy.

Remind yourself that you are capable and more than enough for this career.  You are uniquely qualified to handle every case that comes through the door.  When scarcity thoughts start to creep in on you, change your thoughts to those of gratitude and strength.  Thinking confident thoughts will alleviate any stress that you may feel, and you will be better able to enjoy the company of your clients and their pets.

Appreciate your team.  Try to see each busy day as an opportunity to observe the wonderful talented people that work with you.  Look for the positive characteristics and actions of your hospital team.  As you offer words of encouragement to those around you it will foster a more positive outlook for yourself.    Appreciate your clients and their pets as well.  If you look for things that are positive about them rather than the negative, you will always be more inclined to have abundance in mind.

 The next time you have an extremely full day, choose an abundance mindset.    Developing an abundance outlook will positively influence your team and keep you from going down the road to stress and burn-out.  

Choose so busy over too busy.

Dr. Julie Cappel

 “When you are grateful, fear disappears, and abundance appears.”
― Anthony Robbins

 “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.” Let your mindset be your biggest asset!  

-       William James

Join my email list and get my Weekly Words of Support!  Each week you will get some life hacks from me!  Go to my website and sign up!

https://www.juliecappel.com

Join me on the Podcast!!  

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

God and Rocky

Today was a beautiful Sunday in Michigan, over fifty degrees and sunny all day.  Stark contrast to the cold grey days that we usually have in February.  A nice change after a tough week for me.  This morning I asked my husband to go to church with me to see if I could get a better understanding of exactly what God was trying to teach me through my challenges.   We are long time church members, but we do not attend every week.  Today I felt the need.  The preacher that gave the message was new to me, but he spoke with passion, was funny and entertaining.  The things that he said landed firmly on my mind and heart, just as I had hoped.  I felt much better coming home with a new sense of purpose, trust and patience. 

Just after we arrived home, my son texted me and asked me if I liked to watch boxing. Apparently, he had watched some boxing matches the night before and was intrigued by them.   I told him that I was not a big fan of boxing unless it was Rocky Balboa in the Rocky movies.  If you have read my blogs before you know that I have a love for all things Sylvester Stallone and Rocky.  I have been a huge fan since I was a teenager (which was a long time ago).  The lessons from Rocky’s journey through life can all be summed up into one word, perseverance. Exactly the message that I was getting from the church. 

Perseverance is the persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.  The difficulty in life comes almost every day, but there are often very tough times when we are particularly well tested in our ability to persevere. 

How can we learn from God and Rocky to better persevere?

Live in the present.  I do not always remember this lesson, but it is an important one.  If we worry about the future or fret about the past, we will be distracted from what we can do now to get ahead.  Living in this moment is all that we have. 

Maintain optimism.  I am usually a very optimistic person, but sometimes my primitive survival brain gets the best of me and causes me to become a pessimist.  Notice your negative thoughts and decided on purpose to create more positive ones.  If you need help, as most of us do, turn to a friend or family member to help you create more optimistic thoughts. 

Just keep working.  Push ahead and keep busy even when things get tough.  Going through rough times is exhausting, but the worst thing we can do is give up and stop moving.  Try one new thing each day to get the result that you want.  Keep your eye on the goal and move ahead with your work.  

I know that with God all things are possible, and with Rocky you will never quit.  When you live in the present, maintain optimism, and just keep punching; you can meet life’s challenges with resilience and grace.

God first, Rocky second.

Dr. Julie Cappel

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:13

“Going in one more round when you don’t think you can – that’s what makes all the difference in your life.” - Rocky Balboa

Give your team the gift of praise, love, and appreciation - it will come back to you.

This past week on Friday was Valentine’s Day.  I had the day off but took the opportunity to go into work to finish up on some records and phone calls that I had failed to finish the day before.  Thursday evening, I rushed out of work to see my son perform in the orchestra with IL Volo. If you don’t know who IL Volo is, check out their unique combination of opera and pop music often featured on PBS.  Anyway, I digress…

My main focus was to catch up on paperwork and call clients that I did not get to on the day before; however, I hate sitting still at the computer, so I spend some time observing and talking to the team.  On this day, Valentine’s Day, I noticed that my hospital manager had provided heart shaped donuts, candies and other treats for the hospital.  They were all displayed beautifully on our lunchroom table for everyone’s enjoyment – a small token of our managers appreciation for all of the hard work and dedication that we get from our team.

I enjoy going to work on my day off because it allows me to see my team work together when I am not actually seeing patients.  It is a little like being on the outside looking in. It gives me a unique perspective on the degree of efficiency, communication, comradery, and trust that my team offers to one another.  Being there without actually working allows me to notice things that I would not normally see when I am focused on taking care of my patients and clients.   It allows me to see their hard work and appreciate them more.

There are many ways to show your team that you value and appreciate them, but it is something that we often forget about as we navigate busy days.  Appreciation not only helps our team members but is also does great things for us.

Here are five benefits of sharing your appreciation:

1.    Your mood will improve.  Studies show that when we focus on noticing the positive things around us, we will feel more positive emotion.  Changing your thoughts from negativity and criticism to thoughts of appreciation will change your outlook on the day.  When your mood is better, you will be more likely to give your team praise. The positive feedback and support that you give your team will increase their work satisfaction and mood as well.

2.    Your mindset will change.  Looking for the good in people in your workplace will ultimately result in you enjoying your work more.  If I focus on the negative things that happen at work every day, I will feel negative about my work.  If I can learn to look for the positive and appreciate what I have, I will change my mindset to a positive focus and will notice the good things more, thus loving my job more.

3.    You will build trust in your organization.  When you actively work to appreciate your team, they will be more likely to trust your decisions.  If the team knows that they are appreciated, they will allow you and each other to make mistakes without judgement.  They will be more likely to encourage each other and show support when one falters. 

4.    They will stay with you longer.  It makes sense that if someone feels valued that they will want to stay where they are.  It has been shown that rewarding employees for years of service and offering them appreciation for longevity actually makes them want to stay longer (*).  At our practice, we celebrate anniversaries at team meetings with gift cards, public recognition and appreciation.  I like to think that the brief anniversary celebration is not the only reason they stay, but it is a small piece of the appreciation puzzle.

5.    You will have a more effective team.  When the leader and the team are focused on appreciation, it will ultimately spill over into their service offered to the clients.  Appreciation builds on itself and spreads a family-like atmosphere throughout your practice.  If each person is on the lookout for good, they will offer a higher level of service and professionalism to the clients which will result in a better practice.

Find something wonderful in your hospital family and compliment them for it.  By giving them the gift of praise, love, and appreciation, you will be improving your life as well. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life.  Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” – Margaret Cousins

Join my Weekly Words of Support!  https://www.juliecappel.com

Join me on the Podcast!!  

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

*https://www.octanner.com/landing/awards-programs.html

Let’s care less about what others think.

Two weeks ago, I attended the Michigan Veterinary Conference in Lansing, Michigan.  I had been in Orlando at the VMX the week before and had traveled directly to Lansing from the Detroit airport.  I thought that I had packed appropriately for all of the events of the week, but when I got to Lansing, I realized that I had failed.  I was scheduled to attend the casino night charity event on Thursday evening with my husband.  The first dress I packed did not fit me correctly – it was baggy on top and I looked like I was wearing a sack.  (I guess I didn’t try it on before I left the house.)  The second dress fit me fine, but when I went for the sweater that matched, I could not find it in my bag.  I must have left it at home.  Great!  Now, what would everyone think of me? I didn’t have the “correct” attire.  I started to fret about what other people were going to think about the clothes that I was wearing.  Was everyone going to look at my mismatched sweater and think, “What is wrong with Julie that she would wear that?”  My husband of course thought I was being ridiculous and told me that I looked great. 

I am usually a pretty confident person, but what was happening in my head was far from confident.  Why do we care about what other people think of us?  What is it about others’ perceived criticism that makes us feel so bad and why do we criticize ourselves?

To a certain extent, we all care what other people think of us.  We don’t even realize it most of the time, but it affects many aspects of our lives.  It is instinctual, stemming from the days when we depended on our tribe for survival.  The social outcasts did not survive.  Social media tends to enhance this innate need for approval from others.  We only post things that show us in a certain light so we can protect an image that we have formulated in our heads.  We know it is a game, but we see others’ lives laid out on social media and we believe they are better than we are.

Although it is natural for us to seek approval, it can and does interfere with our own progress.  When we should be embracing our unique abilities and intuitions, we instead let the comparison game hold us back from using our talents to succeed.  The need for approval keeps us from just being ourselves.

Caring how others perceive us is not necessarily all negative.  There are times that “appropriate” behavior and attire is important -- not shouting in church or not wearing jammies and slippers to a job interview.  There are times when we do need to care about how we are perceived, but when it gets in the way of our progress or causes us undue anxiety, we have to reel it in. Excessive worry about what others think can interfere with your ability to be yourself and bring your unique talents to the table.  Worrying too much will hold you back from living your best life.

Why you should not care what others think:

It is your life not theirs.  Other people are entitled to think what they want, but if you worry about it, you are giving them your power. It is your life, and you are the only one that needs to approve of your actions. Others don’t know what is best for your life, only you do.  The only way that you can truly succeed is by making your own mistakes and learning from your own instincts and choices.  If you take responsibility for yourself, you will not be left blaming others for your failures. It is the way we learn and grow.

Other people’s thoughts change based on their own thoughts of themselves.  You cannot and will not please everyone, so why try?  They often don’t really care as much as you think.  Did anyone at the casino night even notice my sweater?  Probably not, and the fact that I worried about it for even a second was too much.  If I remain happy with myself regardless of my wardrobe others will be attracted to my positive energy, not notice my mismatched clothes.

The best reason for not caring what others think is that it will keep you from achieving your dreams.  When you step out of the norm, people will try to pull you back with good intentions.  Like two crabs in a bucket pulling each other back in, they will think that they are trying to save you from some dangerous humiliation.  The opposite is true.  If you listen to them and stay small, you will never grow and achieve the big dreams that you have for your life. 

It turns out that there were people dressed in many ways at the casino night:  Jeans, sweaters, dresses, jumpsuits, jackets and ties.  The crowd was so diverse that I don’t think anyone judged anyone about the clothes that were worn.  Everyone was just there to have a good time and raise money for charity.  I had wasted precious time and mental energy worrying about a stupid outfit.  The event was about raising money for charity and we did just that.  I had a great time in my dress and mismatched sweater as I was winning big fake money at the craps table. 

In the end, you are the one that has to live with your life.  You are the one that is responsible for how things turn out.  Your opinion is the only one that matters and wasting time and energy on what others think is a recipe for unfulfilled dreams.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” – Lao Tzu

Join me on the Podcast!!! The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast with Dr. Julie Cappel

Click Here!