I have been working on writing this blog for the past two weeks, which is unusual for me as I often write my blogs in one day. I have been struggling with this because I have produced several blogs and podcasts about New Year's resolutions, goal setting, change, and how to start afresh in the new year. This time, I wondered what else I could offer to help you create your best new year?
Here is what I came up with.
I want to offer you the thought that every day can be a new start in your life. You do not have to wait till the new year to start anew. We all want to change something, our bad habits, physical or mental health, or we desire to do or learn something new. We do not need to wait until the new year to bring about change. It feels reasonable to choose January first, Monday morning, next week, or someday.
That restrictive thinking keeps us stuck in our bad habits and "normal" life, and what we really want is an extraordinary life. Waiting till the time is right to start working on yourself will get you to the same place you are now, stuck. If you are anything like me, the "I will start tomorrow" thinking keeps me overeating, not exercising, and procrastinating my self-development because "starting tomorrow" does not work. If we do begin to work on a resolution, as soon as we experience a minor failure, we quit and never achieve it or vow to start again on Monday.
So, it is January fifteenth, and we are two weeks into 2023. What resolutions are you keeping, and which have failed? If you have already quit those New Year's Resolutions, I encourage you to start again. NOW! Keep starting over and working towards what you want until you get it. Do not wait for tomorrow, next week, Monday, or 2024. Start again and work now.
The only way to overcome procrastination is to stop feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or stuck. Getting our brains to see the possibility of change is the work that needs to be done to persevere. If you find that you are doing everything but working on your goals, you are an average human; congratulations. We all procrastinate and struggle to achieve our goals, but here are a few ways you can work to get over that and restart for the new year.
Start by understanding your motivation for your New Year's Resolution in the first place. Why do you want what you want? What pain are you experiencing by not getting it? Most of the emotional pain you are experiencing is shame and self-judgment when you do not take action. Once you understand yourself better, you will be on to yourself and your excuses. Know where you are currently and where you want to go.
Next, list the steps required to get back on track with your resolution. What have you avoided and why? Do not list anything that does not involve your resolution. Having the daily, mundane tasks on your list will give you an excuse to avoid your resolution goal. Then, break it down into baby steps that feel easier. If it is a food goal, plan one meal at a time, not a whole week. If it is an exercise goal, take it one day at a time. Do one simple task and get moving forward.
The most important step is changing your self-talk. Thinking that this is too difficult or impossible will not serve you. Change your thinking with strong and capable statements about yourself. You will feel less overwhelmed if you decide that you can do it. You will build momentum towards your goal if you achieve one step at a time.
Remember that when you avoid change, you are ultimately creating more pain for yourself in the future. If you accept a slight change and a little pain now, you will be so much happier later as you achieve your dreams.
It is January 15, and you stopped working on your New Year's Resolution. So what? Begin again right now. Take one baby step, and continue until you have whatever you want.
Call me if you need help.
Dr. Julie Cappel
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