Stop getting in your way when it comes to goals.

Many of us struggle when it comes to goal setting and accomplishing the things we want in life. We want something that we think is important or something that will make us happy, but we don’t follow through. We fail to take the steps that it requires to accomplish that goal. Ironically, one of the main reasons we quit on ourselves is because we fear the discomfort of change and the feeling of failure that may come when we don’t achieve the goal.

If you think you are unique in setting goal after goal and failing, you are not. Most people want things they never get because they are unwilling to take the steps that cause the pain needed to get to their goal. Our brains are wired for this naturally; it is called the motivational triad. The motivational triad is three things; seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy. Animals and humans were all designed with these three motivations to keep them safe and alive. 

To accomplish big goals, there are things you can do to overcome the motivational triad.

Choose your goal wisely and specifically. To overcome your primitive brain, you must have an intensely compelling reason to shoot for your goal. It is not enough to say you want to lose ten pounds because as soon as you see a donut, your need to seek pleasure will kick in, and you will ultimately eat that donut. If you want to set a wise goal to lose ten pounds, you have to have a compelling reason, like you want to add years to your life, or you want to be able to play sports with your children and not collapse. You must want it bad enough that the pain of not getting there overcomes your need for pleasure.

 

Make a plan and commitment to the goal. To start working on your goal, you must break it into steps and be deliberate with your time. You will need a detailed plan of how your time will be spent each day working on your goal. Making the plan is vital, but following it is critical. When you sit down to attend to your project, your mind will tell you to check your phone, eat a snack, watch some Netflix, or visit the bathroom. Your brain will try to foil your efforts because it is fighting against the discomfort you are feeling. Stand firm and keep to your plan. Realize that when your brain tells you to stray, you can control it. You have a higher brain to keep that primitive brain in check. Tell it to quiet down and let you get to work.

 

Make solid decisions, and don’t look back. While working on a goal, many of us agonize over simple choices instead of just making a choice and moving on. If you make the “wrong” decision, you can chalk it up to a learning experience and make a better one the next time—no big deal. Do not beat yourself up, and do not quit; move on to the next step and try again. The only people who fail to succeed are those that quit.

Embrace a little discomfort. The discomfort that you feel as you work through your goal is the pathway to your success. You will ultimately give up unless you vow to feel a little uncomfortable on purpose. Fear is painful, but not getting what you want in life is worse. Face up to your fear and work to make things happen.  

Now get it!

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Every champion was once a contender who refused to give up.” – Rocky Balboa

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