Stop getting in your way when it comes to goals.

Many of us struggle when it comes to goal setting and accomplishing the things we want in life. We want something that we think is important or something that will make us happy, but we don’t follow through. We fail to take the steps that it requires to accomplish that goal. Ironically, one of the main reasons we quit on ourselves is because we fear the discomfort of change and the feeling of failure that may come when we don’t achieve the goal.

If you think you are unique in setting goal after goal and failing, you are not. Most people want things they never get because they are unwilling to take the steps that cause the pain needed to get to their goal. Our brains are wired for this naturally; it is called the motivational triad. The motivational triad is three things; seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy. Animals and humans were all designed with these three motivations to keep them safe and alive. 

To accomplish big goals, there are things you can do to overcome the motivational triad.

Choose your goal wisely and specifically. To overcome your primitive brain, you must have an intensely compelling reason to shoot for your goal. It is not enough to say you want to lose ten pounds because as soon as you see a donut, your need to seek pleasure will kick in, and you will ultimately eat that donut. If you want to set a wise goal to lose ten pounds, you have to have a compelling reason, like you want to add years to your life, or you want to be able to play sports with your children and not collapse. You must want it bad enough that the pain of not getting there overcomes your need for pleasure.

 

Make a plan and commitment to the goal. To start working on your goal, you must break it into steps and be deliberate with your time. You will need a detailed plan of how your time will be spent each day working on your goal. Making the plan is vital, but following it is critical. When you sit down to attend to your project, your mind will tell you to check your phone, eat a snack, watch some Netflix, or visit the bathroom. Your brain will try to foil your efforts because it is fighting against the discomfort you are feeling. Stand firm and keep to your plan. Realize that when your brain tells you to stray, you can control it. You have a higher brain to keep that primitive brain in check. Tell it to quiet down and let you get to work.

 

Make solid decisions, and don’t look back. While working on a goal, many of us agonize over simple choices instead of just making a choice and moving on. If you make the “wrong” decision, you can chalk it up to a learning experience and make a better one the next time—no big deal. Do not beat yourself up, and do not quit; move on to the next step and try again. The only people who fail to succeed are those that quit.

Embrace a little discomfort. The discomfort that you feel as you work through your goal is the pathway to your success. You will ultimately give up unless you vow to feel a little uncomfortable on purpose. Fear is painful, but not getting what you want in life is worse. Face up to your fear and work to make things happen.  

Now get it!

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Every champion was once a contender who refused to give up.” – Rocky Balboa

Join me on The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast!!

Puppies help solve for stress.

This week my dog Trent was scheduled for a routine dental cleaning, so he could not eat his Tuesday morning breakfast in preparation for general anesthesia. Trent is an eleven-year-old sheltie, and if you know anything about shelties, you know that they love food more than anything else in the world. Trent has a schedule that includes waking me up early, going outside for a brief moment, then demanding that I make his breakfast. Tuesday, he was confused that I did not wait on him when he barked for his food; then, when he realized that he was going to work with me, Trent hid behind a chair. Trent hates the veterinary hospital, mainly because it usually means getting groomed or spending the day waiting for me in a kennel. I think that I can safely say that Trent felt stressed on Tuesday. 

There is no doubt that veterinary hospitals are stressful and sometimes rushed and confusing. It is stressful for the dogs and also for us. The days may go smoothly or, more often, feel hectic and overwhelming. We deal with some very complex problems that require intense investigation, high levels of empathy, and more than a bit of patience. Like Trent, our days do not always go the way with think they should. When the days bring about stress, it pays to look for the little joys that come with each day. Tuesday afternoon brought puppies - we sometimes get to relieve stress with puppies.

There are other ways to deal with the stress until the puppies show up.

When something makes you feel stressed, start by identifying your thoughts about the stressful event. We usually feel stress just by thinking negative thoughts about the things that could go wrong. You might worry that a client will be angry when you are running late; in reality, they may be happy to wait and never say a word about it. The negative thoughts create all the unnecessary stress before you walk into the exam room.

Vow to look for solutions to the specific problem. When you go into problem-solving mode rather than worry mode, you will likely stay calm and solve the problem without causing stress. Think of a few solutions even if you are unsure of the results. Do not judge yourself if you feel a bit stressed, go back to brainstorming solutions until you feel calmer. Coming up with a few good solutions to offer to the client, not struggling for the ideal solution will allow you to be more openminded and flexible when it comes to collaborative decisions with your client. 

Accept that stress is a normal feeling. Your body creates stress to keep your mind sharp and you on your toes. A little stress may be good, but constant stress harms your health. If you can adjust your thinking to keep yourself calmer, your mind will be able to make a solid and clear decision as you move throughout your day.  When you feel high stress, take a moment and focus your mind either with a short meditation or self-care break.

Remember that your workday will offer you ups and downs, and you can handle all the emotions. Take a small break or ask for help if you feel overwhelmed. Try to look forward to the happy parts of veterinary medicine, the kind and grateful clients, the pets you save or cure, and the puppies (or kittens). Please take full advantage of the puppies when you see them. Hug them, take photos, and play with them on the floor. You will be better for it.

Dr. Julie Cappel and Trent. 

“Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight.” ― Gordon B. Hinckley.