Focus In

“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.” Greg Anderson

This quote spoke to me this morning as I was preparing to write this blog. I tend to think that the weekends are for accomplishment and not self-care or rest. How much can I get done? I have a to-do list as long as my arm and as a new week begins, I feel overwhelmed as the list of things unaccomplished hangs over my head.  

For example, today, I planned to get some flowers planted in my yard, but it is raining outside. This is disappointing. Hopefully, it will clear up this afternoon so that I can plant, but I can choose to feel happy anyway. I also wanted to exercise, and I had my heart set on a long bike ride, but there is the rain, and my hip is bothering me from last week’s ride; I feel as if I am missing out by resting or staying indoors.  

What would my life coach say? Good thing I have a life coach easily accessible, wink. I will share with you the advice that I am offering to myself, just on the off chance that you are feeling overwhelmed this week.

When you feel overwhelmed with life, the best thing you can do is “focus in” on yourself. I mean being present in the moment and present with yourself - feeling grounded and getting reacquainted with your wants and needs. Focus on what you want, not just what your family, society, or workplace expects from you.  

Am I overwhelmed because I have thoughts that I “should’ be productive? Do I need flowers today, or do I want to have the pleasure of choosing and planting them? There is a difference, and planting to make my neighbors think my house looks great is a different goal than I want to plant because I enjoy it.

When you are overwhelmed, focus in on your self-care plan, or if you don’t have one, make one. Healthy foods, sleep, relaxation, reading, or meditation will help you feel less stressed by that giant to-do list. With my hip upset by biking, what else can I do to accomplish my exercise goal? Maybe a little yoga? That sounds nice, or maybe I can just rest.  Self-care is much more critical than any line item on my list.  

Take a break from self-judgment. It is a reality that we all have days when we are not feeling strong, and then we are required to slow down and focus on getting healthy by resting or whatever it takes to care for our body. Practice a little compassion and love for yourself.

Do something that you enjoy to help get yourself back on track. I may be feeling overwhelmed by my thoughts on my to-do list, but if I schedule a break into my day and do something that I love, I will have a better attitude when I face my list. Overwhelm does not inspire action, but a relaxed, rejuvenated mind will. Take a walk, clear your head, then work on one thing on that list, staying present in the activity.

Do not compare yourself to others. Comparison is a big one for me. I have this competitive thought that everyone is more productive and focused than I am. The comparison game is not helpful. Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare? Slow and steady wins the race, creates focused action, and eliminates stress. When I put the social media away and decide to focus on the life in front of me, I am living with much more joy.

Remember to honor your values and make sure you are living “focused in” on them. Do not trade your life for your to-do list.

It has stopped raining, so maybe I will enjoy some planting today or maybe I will focus on rest.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” Eckhart Tolle