Walk, Look, and Listen

I traveled with my parents this weekend, north to Elk Rapids, Michigan. The purpose was to take a short vacation and visit some family and friends who live in the area. We rented a little Airbnb close to town and just a stone's throw away from the beach. It is a beautiful town, and I would highly recommend visiting if you ever have a chance. 

This morning after drinking my coffee, I prepared to take a walk. When I am walking alone, my habit is to put in my earbuds and listen to a podcast or book—multitasking my physical exercise and continuing education into one power walk. I know that multitasking lowers productivity, but I still seem to want to try it whenever possible. There is something in my ENFJ personality that compels me to experience everything all at once. In reality, my multitasking causes me to miss things and lose focus.  

As I stepped out the door this morning to start my walk, I saw the beautiful sunshine through the trees, and something told me to leave the earbuds behind and focus on the walk. I decided to choose to be present to see and hear everything that this beautiful area had to offer.  

I gave up multitasking to create mindfulness, and here is what I observed.

I observed the sun rising over the trees as the birds sang their morning songs. I heard some fish jump as I walked along the boardwalk around the marina. I observed vacationers laughing outside the diner as they enjoyed their eggs and coffee. I greeted my Dad, who was walking back from the coffee shop on his exploratory walk. (We are alike, my Dad and I) 

I saw a woman pushing her young son on a swing in the park. They were laughing and yelling "WEEE" as the swing went higher and higher. I found a cute little sidewalk book exchange box, where you can take a book and leave a book. (I took two, so I owe that box). I saw a flock of monarch butterflies visiting wildflowers next to a park. 

I found several historical signs — you know the kind that tells you about the history of a particular building or structure? I stopped and read each one in detail. I rarely do that. 

I stopped along the beach and listened to the waves as they splashed against the rocks. I felt the sun on my skin and took everything in along my several-mile walk, and returned with a better appreciation of my world. (and two books)

Mindfulness is "the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we're doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what's going on around us."

It takes some effort to give up multitasking long enough to slow down and smell the roses. The small things you miss by multitasking may be the very things you need to notice to feel whole.

Try to remain fully aware this week as you go through your days. Try listening to the sounds, seeing the sights, and smelling the smells. Your life will be better for it. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness.” - Jon Kabat-Zinn

Is it a Full Moon?

Friday and Saturday were both days coming up to a full moon, which I usually do not pay much attention to. I love looking at the stars and the moon on a clear, crisp evening, but the constellations and the lunar cycle are not something that I know well. However, I have a great friend, Nina, who is an expert in all things star-related. We have spent some fabulous evenings at high school band camp (our kids were in the high school marching band together) gazing at stars over the band field. She taught me all that I know about the planets and stars - as much as I remember. 

During a full moon cycle, it is said that people become more agitated, and there have been some studies that support the premise. Working with the public in the veterinary medical field makes many of us believers.  

Yesterday was a “full-moon Saturday.” We were scheduled to work a half-day — nine until one. My manager decided that it might be fun to have a potluck breakfast; actually, I think it was one of the technician’s ideas that our manager facilitated. We got to work a bit early, and we each brought in a different breakfast food item to share. The table was piled with fruit, bagels with cream cheese, egg McMuffins, sausage burritos, quiche, donuts, coffee, and even non-alcohol mimosas. There was enough food to feed an army and all of us for breakfast and lunch, with leftovers to take home. 

The idea behind having a breakfast potluck was to help the team feel like a team and also appreciated and loved. Something about food makes us all feel a bit better, much to the detriment of our physical health, but a once-in-a-while indulgence is acceptable as long as we work it off. On this full moon Saturday, we did work it off. 

Whether it was the full moon or just because it is life, we had our fill of unpleasant and unreasonable clients on this day.

One gentleman argued with everyone as soon as he called in on the phone from the parking lot. I overheard the phone technician’s voice becoming more and more tense as she attempted to understand what his complaint was. He did not think he should have to wait his turn in the parking lot and demanded to be seen immediately. He also wanted to go home and wait while his dog got full mouth radiographs - she had two loose teeth —and a growth removal immediately. Oh, by the way, he was scheduled to have those things addressed back in June, and he canceled the scheduled surgery appointment. Once he was in the exam room with me, he repeated his requests, and also said, “Can you replace the loose teeth with gold teeth?” Nope! We cannot do that today, not ever. He remained pretty calm for the rest of our encounter but continued to rave about the need for dental rads and gold teeth for his dog. 

Another client was exasperated the minute she got into the exam room with me. Her puppy was in for routine vaccines, but she insisted on coming into the building with him. We were 20 minutes behind schedule getting her inside, and she told me exactly what the problem was with our program. She explained to me that she had waited for 30 minutes in the parking lot, and now her dog was overheated, and it was our fault. I kindly explained to her puppy looked fine, but she could now wait a bit longer in the air-conditioned exam room so her puppy could get some water and “cool down.” No problem, I am happy to help with that.

Working during a full moon and partially curb-side is frustrating, challenging, or entertaining, depending on how you choose to see it. I try to think of life as being neither good nor bad, but just what it is, life. We also need to try to keep our humor and empathy. Of course, people don’t want to wait in the hot parking lot. Of course, they think they are the only priority. When we look for humor in encounters, it helps direct our minds to the positives. It is all about attitude and protecting yourself from going down with them.

Keeping a positive attitude with unkind people takes mental work, but we join them in their negative emotions if we allow them to upset us. We will not allow them to change us into unkind people. We have many happy clients and a few impatient ones, and the difference is how we think of them and their antics. If we know that a few people get a bit ugly each day and expect it, we can choose to roll with it when it happens.

My manager said to me when the “gold teeth guy” left the building, “You have to laugh, don’t you? Is it a full moon? People are a little over the top today.” 

Good thing she planned our colossal breakfast.

Dr. Julie Cappel 

“Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

My Abundant Life

Today is Sunday, and I am off work — no veterinary work, no coaching — for the first time since I returned from my vacation last weekend. It seemed like a long hard week, probably because I am still tired from my vacation, the time change, and catching up with everything at home and work. There was laundry, housework, paperwork, phone calls, and all the other errands that I neglected while out of town. I might have started to feel a little sorry for myself if I were not given so many lessons in abundance and gratitude throughout the week.  

When I returned home, the first thing I did was get on my computer and order groceries. Online grocery order and delivery is the most exciting thing that I learned during the pandemic. I had never used that service before, but now I am addicted. You set up an order, choose a delivery time, and like magic, some beautiful person comes to your door with groceries. Incredible! Insta-cart is one of the best things ever created. 

The delivery time offered that evening was between 9:00 to 11:00 pm, and I was okay with that as I was still on pacific time. When the woman arrived at my door, ten minutes before 11:00 pm, the first thing she did was apologize for being so late. I thought that was interesting since she was well within the time frame offered, and she was magically delivering food to my front porch. If anything, I should be the one to say that I am sorry for bringing her out ten minutes before her scheduled time to go home.

The second lesson happened Friday. One of our veterinary technicians has an amazing husband who ordered and delivered Mexican food to all of us at the hospital. Unprompted, he just told his wife to expect lunch for the whole team. Surprise! So much food and so much fun opening each container to see our choices, then having a sit-down lunch together. Just what a tired team needs right now.

Today, I also saw a great example of abundance when I accompanied my husband to Sam's Club. He usually likes to take his bi-monthly trip alone, but today I decided to tag along to see just what I could find to buy. The place was jammed with patrons, not one empty cart in the lobby, and families were making an outing of it. My husband gets one of those giant pallet-type carts so that he can load it up. As I walked through the massive store with the shelves stacked and isles packed with almost everything you could ever want or need, I looked at the people there and realized that we could take all this for granted. We need to notice how awesome this is.

My amazing vacation (Arizona, Sedona, Lake Powell, Grand Canyon), all the things that I returned to; Insta-cart, free lunch, and Sam's shopping, made me think how fortunate I am to live in the United States. A place where I can travel to beautiful places and then have the ability to get whatever I want whenever I want it quickly and easily. 

If I feel tired and overwhelmed, the first thing that I want to do is complain, but what is there to complain about when you have everything that you want and need? My home, work, dogs, family, and friends are all a part of my abundant life.

An abundance mindset is an outlook or attitude that allows you to notice and welcome the world's possibilities. It does not mean that you have everything that you want. It is more about enjoying what you already have and being open to whatever comes—knowing that there are plenty of opportunities out there just waiting for you. 

What can we do to notice the abundance around us and foster a positive mindset when feeling tired, stressed, or overwhelmed?

Focus on the positives in your life more than on the things that may be going wrong. My tired body and mind will give in to negative thinking if I let myself forget about abundance. Your worry about being short-handed at work, can turn into gratitude for the people who show up each day. Look around you and see what is there — running water, sunshine, or a happy pet is all you need to feel a bit of your life's abundance. 

Practice gratitude. I say this frequently, but it is so easy to do and makes all the difference in how you see yourself and your world. We have a negative bias, so it takes practice and works to find the things in your life for which to be grateful. 

Surround yourself with people that have a great outlook. When your brain does not want to see the blessings, hang out with others that do. If you spend time with positive people, it is tough always to see negative. Practice watching and emulating people that you admire.  

If you accept that there is enough happiness for you and everyone to share, you will look for your blessings and appreciate all you have in your life.  

Dr. Julie Cappel

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein

"Choose joyful abundance in your heart and be unbounded, free, and relaxed. Be relentless with your choice, and you'll make your mark." 

― Amy Leigh Mercree

"Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into." Wayne Dyer

Commit to yourself and your dreams!

Today the Olympic Games in Tokyo are coming to an end. I have watched some of the competitions as I always love to do. Something about watching people achieve a lifelong dream is exhilarating and motivating. The athletes have committed much of their life to a single goal. The dreamer and a believer in me are encouraged by those commitments. All people indeed have difficulties and challenges that work to hold them back, so what can we learn from the world’s best athletes?

Commitment.

Commitment is “the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause or activity.”    

One of the things that we talk about in Life Coaching is goal setting and working towards what you want in life. We often have hopes and dreams, but making them happen is the actual work. Commitment to your goals makes the difference between wanting something and getting something.

Why is commitment so tough? We have good intentions, but we also have a human brain that holds us back for many reasons. The most potent reason is our self-doubt.  Procrastination happens when we doubt our abilities and fear the failures that come on the path to big results. Self-doubt makes action steps challenging to take. If we do not believe in our abilities to recover from failure, we will abandon our goals.

So, how do we commit?

Start with a big reward. Whether you want to start a new habit or kick an old one, you need to have a strong reason for doing it. If your end goal is weak, so will be your resolve. When your self-confidence starts to wain, you need that goal picture to focus on. If an Olympic athlete does not have a strong reason for working for years — the gold medal and the career success that comes from that —they will never have the resolve to do the hard work it takes to succeed. 

Break it down into steps that feel more attainable. When we have a large dream that seems impossible, working at it in small steps is the only way to overcome your doubt. Running a marathon is best done by starting with one mile at a time. Losing weight can be achieved by changing one small habit at a time. Small steps create momentum, and momentum builds increased motivation as you see your dream taking shape. 

Put the steps into your daily plan. Planning for change is the only way to stay committed to the process. If you do not add the steps into your daily routine, you will easily get distracted by life. Start by deciding on the time commitment you need to dedicate to your efforts each day. Then assign a specific time to work on them—plan for the inevitable obstacles that will come up and create a backup plan for these obstacles. For example, if you need to work out three times a week, scheduled for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, leave Saturday as your backup plan if you miss one of the other days. This way, you will plan for interruptions to your process. 

Be prepared to fight with yourself for yourself. There will be a strong urge to skip steps just because you do not “feel like doing it.” Your brain will try to push you offline and take the easy way out. If you know that it is coming, you can prepare for the urges and have a plan in mind to fight those urges. Knowing that you will have to fight for your commitment and being OK with that, is essential to staying committed.

Challenge yourself to think about a change you want to make this week and start working on your commitment. You will be surprised what you can do if you commit to starting.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Commitment is what transforms a promise into a reality.” - Abraham Lincoln

“You always have two choices: your commitment versus your fear.”- Sammy Davis Jr

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Self-Care Saturday

Today, Saturday, I coached a few of my veterinary life coaching clients, and the theme with most of them was self-care. I enjoy talking about self-care because I have realized that many of us do not understand what it means and thus struggle to achieve it. Proper self-care requires taking action to know yourself and then designing your life so that you are protected, successful, and happy. Caring for yourself physically, emotionally, professionally, spiritually, and financially is all part of self-care. 

The dictionary definition of self-care is “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s health.” “The practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s wellbeing and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.”  

Self-care means taking action for yourself - whatever that means to you.

Later in the day, still Saturday, I was sitting in a massage chair at the nail salon, getting my pre-vacation manicure and pedicure. I started thinking more about today’s self-care discussions. As relaxing as the mani/pedi is, the actual salon visit is not self-care for me. I get stressed going and thinking about going. For me, it is more about the way I feel when my nails are done and beautiful. If I could get the look and feel of the freshly done nails without spending any time in the chair, I would be a happy camper.  It takes energy for me to relax into the process. I have to take action to get the result that makes me ultimately happy. That’s what self-care is.  

When we feel overwhelmed or stressed, the first thing that comes to mind is that we need more self-care. When I ask individuals what they mean by that, they often struggle to answer other than they need to work less. “I am physically and mentally exhausted,” they say. “I need to sleep in or take a day off.” While I generally agree with the sentiment, I disagree that all self-care involves not working. I see it as an action step. You need to plan for your self-care physically. You need to know your needs and then schedule them in. 

I have clients that have big goals and dreams that I am helping them to reach. They want to improve emotionally, physically, professionally, and financially. Many of those dreams require that they increase their “self-care” in that area. To be physically healthier, you need to eat well and work out. To pay off loans, take family vacations, and generally have a fantastic life, you may have to make money. It requires action and works to make all of these things happen.

That idea flies in the face of the self-care movement where self-care often equals relaxing. I think of self-care more as balancing my dreams with my reality, creating a balance between my work (which is very important to my wellbeing) and my life (which is equally important). I am not saying that you don’t need time off; I am just saying that you may sometimes have to define self-care as work to care for your hopes and dreams.

Self-care is all about you! Get to know your wants, needs, plans, and dreams. Once you have those mapped out, you can begin planning your actions to meet all of your needs to get to balance and wellbeing. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

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