Today, Saturday, I coached a few of my veterinary life coaching clients, and the theme with most of them was self-care. I enjoy talking about self-care because I have realized that many of us do not understand what it means and thus struggle to achieve it. Proper self-care requires taking action to know yourself and then designing your life so that you are protected, successful, and happy. Caring for yourself physically, emotionally, professionally, spiritually, and financially is all part of self-care.
The dictionary definition of self-care is “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s health.” “The practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s wellbeing and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.”
Self-care means taking action for yourself - whatever that means to you.
Later in the day, still Saturday, I was sitting in a massage chair at the nail salon, getting my pre-vacation manicure and pedicure. I started thinking more about today’s self-care discussions. As relaxing as the mani/pedi is, the actual salon visit is not self-care for me. I get stressed going and thinking about going. For me, it is more about the way I feel when my nails are done and beautiful. If I could get the look and feel of the freshly done nails without spending any time in the chair, I would be a happy camper. It takes energy for me to relax into the process. I have to take action to get the result that makes me ultimately happy. That’s what self-care is.
When we feel overwhelmed or stressed, the first thing that comes to mind is that we need more self-care. When I ask individuals what they mean by that, they often struggle to answer other than they need to work less. “I am physically and mentally exhausted,” they say. “I need to sleep in or take a day off.” While I generally agree with the sentiment, I disagree that all self-care involves not working. I see it as an action step. You need to plan for your self-care physically. You need to know your needs and then schedule them in.
I have clients that have big goals and dreams that I am helping them to reach. They want to improve emotionally, physically, professionally, and financially. Many of those dreams require that they increase their “self-care” in that area. To be physically healthier, you need to eat well and work out. To pay off loans, take family vacations, and generally have a fantastic life, you may have to make money. It requires action and works to make all of these things happen.
That idea flies in the face of the self-care movement where self-care often equals relaxing. I think of self-care more as balancing my dreams with my reality, creating a balance between my work (which is very important to my wellbeing) and my life (which is equally important). I am not saying that you don’t need time off; I am just saying that you may sometimes have to define self-care as work to care for your hopes and dreams.
Self-care is all about you! Get to know your wants, needs, plans, and dreams. Once you have those mapped out, you can begin planning your actions to meet all of your needs to get to balance and wellbeing.
Dr. Julie Cappel
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