Concerned not consumed.

Today is Sunday and we are over 6 weeks into the Corona virus shutdown of Michigan, the United States and much of the world.  This new way of life has definitely affected the way I see almost everything.  Today we had a Zoom call with my family to play team trivia.  It is something that we started a few weeks ago to get the family together to virtually visit, as we are all quarantined in our different states.  This is the highlight of my week.  I love seeing my adult children, my parents, and my sister’s family all gathered on the screen of my laptop - if only for an hour or two.   

I had so many plans for April and May, as so many of us did.   I planned to visit New York City to see my son and get a tour of his apartment and the area that he loves in Brooklyn.  I planned to visit Texas to see my daughter and her husband perform with Fort Worth Opera.  I have my opera tickets for their shows which were supposed to be this week.  We have all had things that have been postponed or cancelled which is disappointing. I have concerns that this shutdown will drag on and I will continue to miss in-person visits with all of my family. 

In this uncertain environment, we all have concerns about our families’ safety and health. We have concerns about our veterinary team’s safety, health and financial stability.  We have concerns about the terrible economy and all of us regaining the ability to earn a living.  

We can have concerns, but we do not have to be consumed by it all.

When worry starts to consume your thoughts, think about scheduling a specific time to process those worries and thoughts.  All the “what if” scenarios can be constrained to a short period of time. This will allow you to think about your situation, process the thoughts, and then move on with the rest of your day.  Practice writing out a thought download to help you work the through the thoughts that are threatening to consume you. If concerns come up throughout the day, write them down then resolve to think about them during your “worry time”.  Restraining your worries and concerns to a specific time of day will allow you to process them and live in the moment.

Focus on the positive.  As you move throughout your day, try to notice the little things that are going well for you.  Appreciating what is going well in your life and looking for the positive, will allow your brain to let go of the worry.  Practice gratitude and pass some of your positive energy along to others in your life allowing them to share in your positive energy. Be mindful of your concerns.

Acknowledging your concerns about the virus and your family is normal will allow you to take the appropriate precautions to keep them safe.  When you feel that you are being consumed with worry practice scheduling thought exercises, look for positivity, and practice mindfulness.  Allow yourself to move from consumed to concerned.

Remaining strong in the face of this pandemic does not mean that we must ignore our emotions.  We need to be able to allow ourselves to feel our concerns without allowing them to ruin us.  

Resolve to embrace your concerns without letting your worries consume you. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.” – Harold Stephen

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Time to Move Forward

As we all continue to participate in a worldwide lockdown, it becomes difficult to see what our future will look like.  We spend our days at home with our families, or some are alone, wondering when this will end and what will our lives look like when it is done. 

I have been wondering this myself.   What will mine and my children’s lives look like after Covid-19? 

All of our lives have changed dramatically; entertainment has changed, exercise has changed, travel has changed, and jobs have either been lost or damaged.  I am fortunate that I am considered one of the essential workers.   Veterinarians are considered essential; however, we have less exposure than many in human health care or grocery store workers, because we can keep clients out of our buildings.  We do have damaged businesses because we are limited on what we are allowed to do, so our workers’ salaries and thus our businesses are cut significantly.   

I think most of us have been working so hard to keep busy - to keep our minds off of our troubles - that we have completely ignored the fact that we have been given a tremendous gift.  The gift of time.  We have been given time to think about things differently.  We have been giving time to set goals that we have previously ignored because we did not have time to work on them. 

Let’s think about what we want when we come out of this situation.

What we do not want, is to let fear and uncertainty keep us from doing something constructive and amazing with our time. Do not stop making plans.  This is precisely when we need to keep planning for the future.  Creating a plan helps your brain to stay in a place of constructive thinking and not destructive thinking.

What we want, is to practice loving ourselves first.  It is hard to get motivated or take any action until you choose to care for yourself.  Start with understanding exactly what you need and then getting those needs met.  Eat right, exercise, meditate, and reach out for help if you are struggling.  Make the effort to have compassion and love for yourself as you would a close friend or family member.  Once you are treating yourself well, you will be capable of stepping out of your comfort zone to move forward with new plans and goals.

What we want is to think about new goals.  Take a class, learn a new skill, write a journal, or create some art.   Do things that you have not had the time or energy to do before. I have started taking voice lessons, something that I have been wanting to do for years.  Lucky for me, my daughter is a professional opera singer and is exactly positioned to be my perfect teacher.  With more time off, she is in the position to take new students, and I am in the position to hire a voice teacher.

So, take advantage of this time that you have been offered to set some priorities.  If you are feeling overwhelmed by the things that you want to do, decide what is most important to you.  You can write a list of 10 goals and then pair it down to three.  Then choose the one goal that is most important to you and start your plan.  Decide on all the tasks that you need to do to accomplish the prioritized goal.  Once you have your steps in order, schedule time to accomplish each step until you have accomplished the goal.  Do not move on to the next goal until you finish the first.

Think about how you want to emerge from your quarantine and who you want to be. 

Then take some time and action to move forward.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Sometimes life knocks you on your ass... get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them.” ― Steve Maraboli

“Change has to come for life to struggle forward.” ― Helen Hollick

If you want to take voice lessons like me contact Bridget!
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If you want saxophone, flute, clarinet or music theory lessons contact Tristan!
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Choose Love Over Fear

Today is Easter Sunday 2020, and we are experiencing Covid-19 Quarantine.

Whether you are a believer or not, Easter is an important time of the year.  We Christians celebrate the resurrection of our savior Jesus Christ, but even if you don’t believe in Jesus, the day marks happy memories for most of us.  We think of the Easter Bunny, egg and candy hunting, spring clothing, fancy Easter hats, group worship at our churches, and family gatherings.

This year has brought us so much unpredictability that we are tempted to indulge in negativity and fear. Our fearful thoughts change our Easter Sunday into something foreign and confusing. 

How do we celebrate Easter Sunday, and every day, with less fear and uncertainty?

We choose to let love in and fear out.

In order to feel more centered, we need to learn how to let go of the fear that we are feeling and embrace the love that is open to us.  It sounds a little “Pollyanna” of me to say that, but if we work towards letting go of our fear, we can embrace love.  If we look for and embrace love, our lives will improve dramatically even in the face of negative circumstances.  

Choosing love over fear means accepting that you are human, and you will feel all the feelings.  Allow yourself some compassion when you start to feel fearful.   Embracing yourself as a normal human will allow you to feel compassion and love for yourself first.  Once you start to love yourself, and accept your feelings, you will be better able to feel love for everything and everyone around you.   

Accept that you have power over your thoughts.  Your thought world will shape your outer world more than the outer world will affect you.  I saw a great example of this concept as I was watching a story on “20/20” last weekend. They were interviewing holocaust survivors for a historical project.  One man told his story that, as a child, he was forced to hide in an attic for 2 years.  He was totally alone as all of his family had been killed.  He remained hidden, eating only one small meal a day and had to remain totally silent most of the time in order not to be discovered.  He had nothing to entertain himself except his own imagination.  He recounted his story of survival by talking of holding on to hope and love for his family.  He used his thoughts and imagination to help him survive. This is a power that is available to all of us.

Choosing love will pull you forward in life, and fear will hold you back. Choose to love and appreciate what you do have, practicing gratitude.  Looking for things in your life to be thankful for, will allow you to let go of the negative emotion and open your heart up to loving what and who you have in your life.  This gratitude mindset will allow you to attract so much more love into your life.  The Law of Attraction will open up to you when you practice choosing love and appreciation. 

We are all experiencing this Easter Sunday Quarantine together, so what a great time to help each other share love and begin to move forward.  Allow yourself the grace to be human, the space to practice compassion, the openness to be grateful, and the generosity to give aid to those in need.

Then, choose love over fear.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“I don't always make the best choices, but today I choose compassion over intolerance, sympathy over hatred and love over fear.” ― LJ Vanier

The sun will come out tomorrow.

Today is a beautiful sunny day. We are quarantined and cannot really go anywhere except for maybe a walk in the neighborhood or outside to do yard work.  I had some groceries delivered today, which I had done a few times before this all started, but now it is the only way I shop. 

Working, shopping, entertainment, and socializing has changed dramatically. This in our new normal, but it does not feel very normal.  There are so many unknowns.

How do we remain mentally strong when we do not know what our future holds?

Accept reality.  There is no use arguing with reality when something bad happens. Wondering why and arguing with facts is generally a waste of time. The sooner you can choose to accept things as they are, the sooner you can begin to deal with the reality of the current situation.  Our thinking creates our feelings, so accepting things is the first step to dealing with any anxiety or worry that the crisis brings.

Take some time to experience your emotions.  Negative emotions will come in waves during and after a crisis.  If you do not fear your emotions and choose to accept them, you will experience sadness, fear, or anxiety for a short time and then allow them to pass.  Choosing to feel all of your emotions will help you process them in a healthier way. 

Choose a positive mantra to keep with you.  Find a quote, bible verse, or saying that speaks to you.  Keeping positive messaging handy when your mind wants to go negative will allow you to replace the thoughts with more positive messages. 

Help yourself and help others.  Self-care is very important during difficulties.  Practice mindfulness, exercise and sleep well.  Reach out to your friends and relatives to not only get support but give support.  Helping others will help keep you from focusing too much on your worries.  Reaching out and offering assistance to another person in need will allow you to feel more powerful.

Create grace for yourself by feeling your emotions, supporting yourself, and caring for others.  Together we will become stronger and the sun will come out tomorrow.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“The ability to continue moving when you are feeling scared, fearful or lazy is the sign of true mental strength.” ― Matthew Donnelly