God and Rocky

Today was a beautiful Sunday in Michigan, over fifty degrees and sunny all day.  Stark contrast to the cold grey days that we usually have in February.  A nice change after a tough week for me.  This morning I asked my husband to go to church with me to see if I could get a better understanding of exactly what God was trying to teach me through my challenges.   We are long time church members, but we do not attend every week.  Today I felt the need.  The preacher that gave the message was new to me, but he spoke with passion, was funny and entertaining.  The things that he said landed firmly on my mind and heart, just as I had hoped.  I felt much better coming home with a new sense of purpose, trust and patience. 

Just after we arrived home, my son texted me and asked me if I liked to watch boxing. Apparently, he had watched some boxing matches the night before and was intrigued by them.   I told him that I was not a big fan of boxing unless it was Rocky Balboa in the Rocky movies.  If you have read my blogs before you know that I have a love for all things Sylvester Stallone and Rocky.  I have been a huge fan since I was a teenager (which was a long time ago).  The lessons from Rocky’s journey through life can all be summed up into one word, perseverance. Exactly the message that I was getting from the church. 

Perseverance is the persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.  The difficulty in life comes almost every day, but there are often very tough times when we are particularly well tested in our ability to persevere. 

How can we learn from God and Rocky to better persevere?

Live in the present.  I do not always remember this lesson, but it is an important one.  If we worry about the future or fret about the past, we will be distracted from what we can do now to get ahead.  Living in this moment is all that we have. 

Maintain optimism.  I am usually a very optimistic person, but sometimes my primitive survival brain gets the best of me and causes me to become a pessimist.  Notice your negative thoughts and decided on purpose to create more positive ones.  If you need help, as most of us do, turn to a friend or family member to help you create more optimistic thoughts. 

Just keep working.  Push ahead and keep busy even when things get tough.  Going through rough times is exhausting, but the worst thing we can do is give up and stop moving.  Try one new thing each day to get the result that you want.  Keep your eye on the goal and move ahead with your work.  

I know that with God all things are possible, and with Rocky you will never quit.  When you live in the present, maintain optimism, and just keep punching; you can meet life’s challenges with resilience and grace.

God first, Rocky second.

Dr. Julie Cappel

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:13

“Going in one more round when you don’t think you can – that’s what makes all the difference in your life.” - Rocky Balboa

Give your team the gift of praise, love, and appreciation - it will come back to you.

This past week on Friday was Valentine’s Day.  I had the day off but took the opportunity to go into work to finish up on some records and phone calls that I had failed to finish the day before.  Thursday evening, I rushed out of work to see my son perform in the orchestra with IL Volo. If you don’t know who IL Volo is, check out their unique combination of opera and pop music often featured on PBS.  Anyway, I digress…

My main focus was to catch up on paperwork and call clients that I did not get to on the day before; however, I hate sitting still at the computer, so I spend some time observing and talking to the team.  On this day, Valentine’s Day, I noticed that my hospital manager had provided heart shaped donuts, candies and other treats for the hospital.  They were all displayed beautifully on our lunchroom table for everyone’s enjoyment – a small token of our managers appreciation for all of the hard work and dedication that we get from our team.

I enjoy going to work on my day off because it allows me to see my team work together when I am not actually seeing patients.  It is a little like being on the outside looking in. It gives me a unique perspective on the degree of efficiency, communication, comradery, and trust that my team offers to one another.  Being there without actually working allows me to notice things that I would not normally see when I am focused on taking care of my patients and clients.   It allows me to see their hard work and appreciate them more.

There are many ways to show your team that you value and appreciate them, but it is something that we often forget about as we navigate busy days.  Appreciation not only helps our team members but is also does great things for us.

Here are five benefits of sharing your appreciation:

1.    Your mood will improve.  Studies show that when we focus on noticing the positive things around us, we will feel more positive emotion.  Changing your thoughts from negativity and criticism to thoughts of appreciation will change your outlook on the day.  When your mood is better, you will be more likely to give your team praise. The positive feedback and support that you give your team will increase their work satisfaction and mood as well.

2.    Your mindset will change.  Looking for the good in people in your workplace will ultimately result in you enjoying your work more.  If I focus on the negative things that happen at work every day, I will feel negative about my work.  If I can learn to look for the positive and appreciate what I have, I will change my mindset to a positive focus and will notice the good things more, thus loving my job more.

3.    You will build trust in your organization.  When you actively work to appreciate your team, they will be more likely to trust your decisions.  If the team knows that they are appreciated, they will allow you and each other to make mistakes without judgement.  They will be more likely to encourage each other and show support when one falters. 

4.    They will stay with you longer.  It makes sense that if someone feels valued that they will want to stay where they are.  It has been shown that rewarding employees for years of service and offering them appreciation for longevity actually makes them want to stay longer (*).  At our practice, we celebrate anniversaries at team meetings with gift cards, public recognition and appreciation.  I like to think that the brief anniversary celebration is not the only reason they stay, but it is a small piece of the appreciation puzzle.

5.    You will have a more effective team.  When the leader and the team are focused on appreciation, it will ultimately spill over into their service offered to the clients.  Appreciation builds on itself and spreads a family-like atmosphere throughout your practice.  If each person is on the lookout for good, they will offer a higher level of service and professionalism to the clients which will result in a better practice.

Find something wonderful in your hospital family and compliment them for it.  By giving them the gift of praise, love, and appreciation, you will be improving your life as well. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life.  Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” – Margaret Cousins

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Let’s care less about what others think.

Two weeks ago, I attended the Michigan Veterinary Conference in Lansing, Michigan.  I had been in Orlando at the VMX the week before and had traveled directly to Lansing from the Detroit airport.  I thought that I had packed appropriately for all of the events of the week, but when I got to Lansing, I realized that I had failed.  I was scheduled to attend the casino night charity event on Thursday evening with my husband.  The first dress I packed did not fit me correctly – it was baggy on top and I looked like I was wearing a sack.  (I guess I didn’t try it on before I left the house.)  The second dress fit me fine, but when I went for the sweater that matched, I could not find it in my bag.  I must have left it at home.  Great!  Now, what would everyone think of me? I didn’t have the “correct” attire.  I started to fret about what other people were going to think about the clothes that I was wearing.  Was everyone going to look at my mismatched sweater and think, “What is wrong with Julie that she would wear that?”  My husband of course thought I was being ridiculous and told me that I looked great. 

I am usually a pretty confident person, but what was happening in my head was far from confident.  Why do we care about what other people think of us?  What is it about others’ perceived criticism that makes us feel so bad and why do we criticize ourselves?

To a certain extent, we all care what other people think of us.  We don’t even realize it most of the time, but it affects many aspects of our lives.  It is instinctual, stemming from the days when we depended on our tribe for survival.  The social outcasts did not survive.  Social media tends to enhance this innate need for approval from others.  We only post things that show us in a certain light so we can protect an image that we have formulated in our heads.  We know it is a game, but we see others’ lives laid out on social media and we believe they are better than we are.

Although it is natural for us to seek approval, it can and does interfere with our own progress.  When we should be embracing our unique abilities and intuitions, we instead let the comparison game hold us back from using our talents to succeed.  The need for approval keeps us from just being ourselves.

Caring how others perceive us is not necessarily all negative.  There are times that “appropriate” behavior and attire is important -- not shouting in church or not wearing jammies and slippers to a job interview.  There are times when we do need to care about how we are perceived, but when it gets in the way of our progress or causes us undue anxiety, we have to reel it in. Excessive worry about what others think can interfere with your ability to be yourself and bring your unique talents to the table.  Worrying too much will hold you back from living your best life.

Why you should not care what others think:

It is your life not theirs.  Other people are entitled to think what they want, but if you worry about it, you are giving them your power. It is your life, and you are the only one that needs to approve of your actions. Others don’t know what is best for your life, only you do.  The only way that you can truly succeed is by making your own mistakes and learning from your own instincts and choices.  If you take responsibility for yourself, you will not be left blaming others for your failures. It is the way we learn and grow.

Other people’s thoughts change based on their own thoughts of themselves.  You cannot and will not please everyone, so why try?  They often don’t really care as much as you think.  Did anyone at the casino night even notice my sweater?  Probably not, and the fact that I worried about it for even a second was too much.  If I remain happy with myself regardless of my wardrobe others will be attracted to my positive energy, not notice my mismatched clothes.

The best reason for not caring what others think is that it will keep you from achieving your dreams.  When you step out of the norm, people will try to pull you back with good intentions.  Like two crabs in a bucket pulling each other back in, they will think that they are trying to save you from some dangerous humiliation.  The opposite is true.  If you listen to them and stay small, you will never grow and achieve the big dreams that you have for your life. 

It turns out that there were people dressed in many ways at the casino night:  Jeans, sweaters, dresses, jumpsuits, jackets and ties.  The crowd was so diverse that I don’t think anyone judged anyone about the clothes that were worn.  Everyone was just there to have a good time and raise money for charity.  I had wasted precious time and mental energy worrying about a stupid outfit.  The event was about raising money for charity and we did just that.  I had a great time in my dress and mismatched sweater as I was winning big fake money at the craps table. 

In the end, you are the one that has to live with your life.  You are the one that is responsible for how things turn out.  Your opinion is the only one that matters and wasting time and energy on what others think is a recipe for unfulfilled dreams.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” – Lao Tzu

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Big day, big goals.

Today is Superbowl Sunday, the day that most Americans spend sitting on the couch, eating chicken wings, pizza, and guacamole. We spend our evening watching the biggest football game of the year showcasing the excellence of the players on the field and the musical talent of the halftime show.  Ironically, we are one month into the new year and many of us are struggling to keep our New Year’s resolutions and 2020 goals.   I certainly am.

The comparison can be depressing.  We feel tired, overwhelmed, and frustrated because we don’t see the results that we expected from our hard work over the past four weeks.  We set some big goals at the beginning of the year, and then we got busy putting those goals into action.  Trouble is that in the past thirty plus days, we have not seen the expected big results. 

This is how new accomplishments and big goals are supposed to go. 

The progress is never as easy or as fast as we would like it to be.   When we don’t see fast or obvious results, our negative brain starts working against us thinking thing like: maybe I should give up, maybe this goal is too much for me, or this is too hard for someone like me.

The players in the Super Bowl did not just wake up one day with a Super Bowl spot.  Shakira and Jennifer Lopez did not stumble out of bed onto the half time stage.  To arrive on the world’s biggest stage, it takes many many hours of intense practice, training, and work. So why should it be any different for me and my goals?

How do we stick with our goals when the plan gets difficult?

 

Push through discomfort.  Part of being successful is learning how to deal with the uncomfortable feelings that come along with doing something new and working towards goals. 

Celebrate the small victories.  Each step towards a goal is one inch closer to your dreams.  If you can see the small steps as victories, you will be less likely to want to give up when the going gets tough.

Realize that your brain is a liar.  When negative thoughts arise for you, understand that they are your worst enemy.  You have the ability to use your higher brain to spot the lies and not fall for them. Be prepared to feel negative emotion around your goals and just accept them.

When your brain begins to doubt and pull you off of your goal, try just committing. You have the ability to completely ignore your brain's need to "see progress" in order to continue.  The small day to day progress is insignificant and irrelevant.  The day you quit could be just the day that things break for you.  Once you quit, there is NO chance that you will succeed.

You have decided to accomplish your goal -- decide and just do it.

Dr. Julie Cappel

"The great danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark." –Michelangelo

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