Searching for Joy - Seeing Good in the Bad

Today is Mother’s Day and I have traveled to visit with my daughter and see her professional opera recital.  The sun is shining -- the sky is a clear, perfect blue and the temperature is amazing.  I can’t feel anything but joyful and blessed today.  I wish I could bottle up this feeling for when I am not feeling quite so joyful. 

Those of us who work in the veterinary medical profession know that days are not always joyful.  We experience mental stress, pet illness, emotional pain, upset clients, team stresses, financial challenges and even death - almost daily.  How do we remain joyful in our life while dealing with all of these upsetting things?  How can we see the good amongst the bad?

Just last week I experienced one of those extremely sad cases.  A beautiful four-year-old Golden Retriever -- I will call him Linus.  The owners are a sweet couple that are totally dedicated to this dog.  They got him as a young puppy after their children were grown and he has taken a place of prominence in their small family.  They are dedicated to his health and happiness.  They take him to the dog park daily to visit with the other dogs and people that meet to visit there.  They have created a community of like-minded pet owners that share in the love of their dogs. 

The first time that I saw Linus, the owner noticed that he was just a bit slower than his normal.  He seemed a bit off and the male owner presented him to me to try to find the source of his malaise.  The owner told me he was worried, because several of his dog park friends recently had lost their dogs to various forms of cancer.  He was worried that Linus was next. 

When I examined Linus, it was obvious to me that he had a generalized lymphadenopathy -- enlarged lymph nodes under his jaw, near his shoulders, abdomen and behind his hind legs.  This presentation is classic for lymphoma - a type of cancer.  My heart sank as I felt swelling after swelling on his otherwise healthy-looking body.  He happily submitted to my palpation wagging his tail and looking to me for help.  He had no idea that I was about to break his owner’s hearts. 

How can I see joy in this circumstance?  Perhaps joy is not the best word to use in this situation, but can we see positives?  Can we grieve with the owners in compassion while feeling great about the work that we do?  I think that we can.

I work each day to see the good in everything.  Even ugly situations like the one I was now in with Linus; it causes me to dig deep to see what I can do to make this easier on the family.  If I remain present for this family and do my very best to explain all of their options, I can turn this tragic situation into some bit of positive for them.  I can take joy in my ability to answer their questions, get them to the right specialist for treatment, or simply help them to spend what time Linus has left giving him the best care that I can offer.  I can encourage them to love him for as many days as he has left on this earth. 

When it is his time to go, I have the ability to make that experience the least stressful to him and his family.  I can show them the utmost compassion and understanding. I can cry with them and love them through it.  I can take joy from that.

Rainy days can be seen as bringing green grass and flowers.  When we are working with a sad situation, we can choose to see our ability to offer good to our patients and their families.  Just being there and caring for them will on some level bring them consolation.  Our clients don’t blame us for their pet’s illness, they just want us to remain with them in their joy and sorrow.  Showing them love and compassion is our best asset.   

I can see joy in that.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”
― Rumi