Today, like many other days at a veterinary hospital, I had the
unique privilege to share in a woman’s grief.
Why do I call this experience a privilege? Please let me
explain.
As veterinarians we often have to deal with the death of a
pet. Most often the death is
brought on by a difficult choice called euthanasia. Clients say, “Doctor, I don’t know how you do this everyday.“
Or friends say, “How do you deal with all the grief?” I am never sure just how to answer, but in my mind I always
think that I am witnessing something uniquely beautiful. That may sound strange, but it is my truth. In those difficult moments, I am
witness to the profound love between a person and their pet.
There is a quote from Zig Ziglar that says, “If there were
no love, there would be no grief.”
One of my daily appointments was for a cat named Tigger. I had seen Tigger just a few short days
before because his health was quickly failing. He was losing weight, having trouble eating and falling over
while walking. Tigger was a sweet old
emaciated, dehydrated, 17 year old cat with a beautiful personality. He was very ill, but he remained
dignified and friendly, purring weakly when he was stroked or touched. The women that cared for him was very
distraught, telling me that this cat had previously belonged to her relative
that had died. She had struggled
with the decision for several days as we came to the conclusion that Tigger had
cancer and would not recover.
Today was the day that she decided that she had to say goodbye. As he lay on the blanket that we laid
out, the woman talked to him gently stroking his chin and he returned the
gesture by purring and leaning into her hand. I watched the
woman grieving over her sweet cat and the cat returning her love by lifting his
head and allowing her to rub his boney chin for the last time. As she whispered her last goodbyes, her tears landing
on his little face, he gazed at her with a look that could only be complete
trust and love. The love that
passed between them was amazing and beautiful. She quietly left the room as I gave him his final rest.
I have lived through so many versions of this story, with
many clients and with my own personal pets. Over and over again I come to the same conclusion. Grief is the price we pay for love, and
a life without love would not be worth living.
So the answer to the question, “How do you do this
everyday?”
The answer is simply, love.
3 comments:
I would NEVER leave the room before it was over.
I hold my kitties when they pass on.....i want them to feel love and to feel safe with their caregiver holding them. Its a difficult moment to watch their last breaths but if the vet does it right it can be peaceful.
Everyone handles grief differently and I support every client’s decision to remain for the entire procedure or not. There is no right or wrong when it comes to loving your pet and experiencing grief.
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