Show up for yourself.

Today I was doing a yoga video on YouTube, “Yoga by Adrianne,” and she said something as she ended the video that sparked my interest. She said, “Show up for yourself today.” I loved her closing statement because we often forget to show up for ourselves. We show up for our family, clients, and friends, but we rarely think of ourselves. On the one hand, I love the unselfish nature of people who think of others before thinking of themselves. Still, if we continuously put others first, we eventually run out of energy and capacity to remain healthy enough to be of service.  

Showing up for yourself means honoring your time, loving yourself, and being your own advocate. It can mean different things to different people, but making your needs a priority, emotionally, physically, and mentally is all part of showing up for you. 

With self-love in mind, let’s talk about some things we can do daily to show up for ourselves.

Create some self-discipline. One of the best ways to show up for yourself is to be resolute in your values and disciplined in your goals. If I have a strong sense of what I want in life, I am more likely to make choices that align with my values and take steps to work toward my goals.  

When I first bought my veterinary hospital, I knew that I wanted it to be a place that honored honesty, cleanliness, family, and team. I wanted to have a life outside of veterinary medicine, and I wanted my team to do the same. With that in mind, I was able to schedule time to attend family events and be open to my team members attending to their home lives, goals, and dreams. In order to get what you want, you must first know what that is, then take steps to get there.  

Just ask yourself, what do I need, and what steps will I take to get it?

Speak up for yourself. One of the most challenging things for me is saying “no.” I am naturally a people pleaser, and I am usually most happy when those around me are happy. There is nothing wrong with this way of thinking until it keeps me from caring for my physical and emotional needs. If I serve others to the detriment of myself, that is when I become run down and lose my interest.  

Learning to speak up for yourself is a skill that you can practice. Once you admit that you have a people-pleasing problem, you can begin to plan your boundaries. I like to pre-plan boundaries so that I have the strength to decline when someone asks for my help. Plan to stay strong, speak up for yourself, and ask for what you need at least once a week as an act of self-care. 

Stop being so hard on yourself. One thing that keeps us from showing up for ourselves is our propensity for self-judgment. We beat ourselves up mentally and hang on to every mistake, using it as fuel against our self-confidence. This practice is not only unnecessary but keeps us from allowing success. When you hear your thoughts telling you that you are inadequate, be strong against your own judgment. Think of yourself as a beloved friend and speak to yourself the same way you would to that friend. Clean up your judgment so you can have your own back. 

Showing up for yourself is not always easy, but if you do the work needed to love yourself, you will build the capacity to create the abundant life you desire.  Work to take care of you!

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort.” – Deborah Day.

Louisiana Lessons

This weekend, I am in Shreveport, Louisiana, attending a performance of The Barber of Seville by Shreveport Opera. The female lead character, Rosina, was played by my daughter Bridget Cappel. I probably would not be in Shreveport except for this performance; however, my husband attended college here at Louisiana State University Shreveport, so he enjoys showing me around the town where he grew up. We are also getting to spend time with friends and family.

I could not be more proud of my children. They are the most unique, kind, and talented people, and they are both musicians and performers. While we are here watching Bridget perform in the Opera, my son Tristan is performing on tour with Post Modern Jukebox. (Check them out when they are in your city - they are fabulous.)

When you have children, people will tell you that your life will change, but they don't tell you how much those children will teach you and push you to grow. My children make me proud to be their mother every day, not only because they are amazing but because they exhibit the utmost tenacity and perseverance for me. Perseverance is a lesson they teach me as I watch them navigate their unusual careers. Perseverance is a lesson we all need to learn; It takes perseverance to turn any goal into a reality.

Perseverance is "Persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success."

Opera singers, artists, and musicians like my kids, study music and performing for years, not just years, decades. It is a stringent discipline that must be studied and practiced every day in order to display their product (art) on the stage successfully. Any goal that you have for success in your life and career will require you to adopt discipline and perseverance, much as musicians do. A daily practice of the small steps to your goals will ultimately bring you to successful completion. 

When working on any goal, it is tempting to avoid it when feeling discouraged. Even as I write this blog, I think I want to quit. “Why can't I just sit here and watch Netflix?” It would be so much easier than writing this blog. My thoughts tell me, "Just give it up already; this blog sucks!" 

We all have setbacks as we work towards significance, but if we can learn to overcome our urge to quit, we can build resilience and persevere. 

How do we persevere?

Keep your eye on the prize. If you know where you want to go (and why) you will be much more likely to get there. Every goal requires a level of vision, so create a strong enough image for your success to keep you from quitting.

  

Try to embrace your failure. It takes many, many failures to get to big success. Much like the artists repeatedly auditioning to get the big part, you must expect that everything will not be easy. Continuously working, failing, and working again is what keeps you moving forward. 

Make small strides each day. Just complete one task each day that moves you along your success timeline. You do not have to accomplish big things every day to see progress. Steady small steps toward your goal without quitting will result in success. 

Build a growth mindset. When working on any goal, it helps to think of growing, not necessarily finishing. Every musician must continuously work on their craft to maintain their level of expertise and to get better. If you stop working, you will start regressing. With growth in mind, you will continue to make strides, see change, and develop. 

Lean on others for support. When you feel like quitting, you need someone to encourage you. Having someone who believes in you when you don't believe in yourself will add to your ability to be persistent and preserver.

It feels great to learn, grow, and finish amazing things. Do not give up! Success is waiting for you on the other side of your hard work. Now go get something done!

Dr. Julie Cappel

"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other."– Walter Elliot.