Gratitude and Music

Last weekend I was lucky to have the time and ability to drive 540 miles to a beautiful little town called Marion, Kentucky. Marion is a tiny town in western Kentucky with a population of just under 3000. The city covers 3.4 square miles in the center of a large area of Amish farmland; the sixty minutes of winding roads before you arrive are all rolling hills, farm animals, and fields. Marion, Kentucky, is a part of the country I would have never experienced except for the rare opportunity that arose from my daughter singing at Foh’s Theatre with a rock-opera group called The Tapestry.

Described on their website as “Queen meets Pavarotti,” the tapestry is a high-octane fusion of the best music of opera and rock. I have had many opportunities to experience live music (both of my children are professional musicians), and this show was one of my favorites. The group is a combination of professional opera singers and talented rock musicians. The music combined was clever, engaging, and so entertaining. The experience made me feel grateful for my talented daughter and amazing life.  

When I work with many of my life coaching clients, we often talk about gratitude and its benefits to our overall mental health. Studies have shown that giving and receiving appreciation can increase dopamine and serotonin levels, creating less anxiety and depression. People who practice gratitude daily experience better sleep, more optimism, positive emotion, and more significant progress towards their goals. As I was reading up on the health benefits of music while researching for this blog, I was surprised to read that they were very similar to the benefits of practicing gratitude. Listening to and appreciating music is similar to adopting a gratitude practice in your life.  

Just like the combination of rock and opera, we can combine gratitude with music to help us unlock our feelings of well-being. I find that very fascinating and something that we can all use to help us to feel better. 

So, This week look for things to be grateful for in your life, even if it is difficult at first. The exercise may feel strained, but as you practice, you will feel yourself opening up to better feelings of stability as you give and receive gratitude. Also, remember that music can crack open those feelings, so if you are having trouble thinking of things to be grateful for, listen to some favorite music and appreciate the emotions it brings. Be sure to listen to something that soothes or makes you feel joyful.  Better yet, practice writing in your gratitude journal while listening to your favorite music.  The combination will certainly open up your mind to appreciate your life. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”—Eckhart Tolle

Tired Body, Happy Mind

Over last weekend, I went for a long bicycle ride with a couple of friends on the Macomb Orchard Trail.  I love this trail as it has options for long rides and several small-town destinations.  There are places to stop to take photos, and the shaded trail is well maintained and beautiful.  My friend Karen is a more hard-core rider than I am, so I always know when I go for a ride with her, it will be longer than I usually go on my own.  I love her can-do spirit and her ability to enjoy the entire process and the fabulous scenery.  She often stops to take photos and selfies; as you can see, I have shared some here in this blog.  In the pictures are Karen, Colleen, and I on the ride. 

We rode 30 miles, ten to fifteen miles more than I usually ride on any given day.  The day was pure sunshine, cloudless blue sky, a cool breeze, and comfortable riding conditions.  We met at our local bike shop near the trail entrance and took off around ten o’clock AM.  The ride was excellent, we stopped a few times to take photos, use the restroom, and buy water and snacks at a local store, so it was an enjoyable day. 

When I returned home more than four hours later, I quickly showered, got ready, and went to a graduation party.  After the graduation party, I was exhausted.  Not sleepy, but that kind of tiredness that tells me I may have overdone it a little with my great workout.  My muscles were drained of energy, and I knew I would be sore in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours.  I love that tired feeling.  “Good pain,” my high school volleyball coach said.  My kid’s fencing coach would tell them, “Pain is weakness leaving the body.”  

As I was lying on the couch, watching television with the weakness leaving my body, I started to think about how important exercise is to our physical and mental health.

According to the CDC website: “Some benefits of physical activity on brain health happen right after a session of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity.  Benefits include improved thinking or cognition for children and reduced short-term feelings of anxiety for adults.  Regular physical activity can help keep your thinking, learning, and judgment skills sharp as you age.  It can also reduce your risk of depression and anxiety and help you sleep better.”

The Mayo Clinic sites research that says that exercising boosts your energy levels by increasing the oxygen-carrying capacity of your heart and lungs.  More oxygen helps your muscles and brain work better, increasing your ability to handle daily tasks and stressful emotions.  

Immediately after a long ride, I feel tired as my muscles rest and restore, but soon after, I have more energy to tackle tasks than I do on days I don’t get exercise.  Short exercise sessions clear your head and help you focus on things you want to do.  Just taking a brisk walk around the block will help you reduce your stress levels and help you let go of some of your worrying thoughts. 

Last week I was working with one of my coaching clients, and we were talking about stress management techniques and things we can do to manage stress before it reaches anxiety level.  We started to talk about our likes and dislikes regarding exercise.  I told her that exercise is one of the best ways to clear your head and manage stress.  Doing something you like is even better, but you don’t have to love exercise to choose something and just do it.  (Thanks, Nike)  

So, spend a little time this week thinking about the activities that are available to you.  Do you like to walk, hike, dance, or do yoga?  If you tell me you don’t like any exercise, I will challenge you to choose one anyway.  Whether you currently exercise or not, take a vow to add one thing into your daily routine.  It can be as simple as taking a short walk at lunch or as complex as dance classes, or interval training with a professional trainer.  Commit to one activity to help you improve your body and change your mind into one that handles stress just a little bit better.  

When you feel the physical pain, think of it as stress leaving your body.  

Dr. Julie Cappel

“When you exercise, it increases endorphins, dopamine, adrenaline and endocannabinoid — these are all brain chemicals associated with feeling happy, feeling confident, feeling capable, feeling less anxiety and stress and even less physical pain.” - Dr. Kelly McGonical

Stuck in Busy

Like many other mornings, today I sat down to drink my coffee and make my bullet journal list of the things I wanted to accomplish. As I wrote, it occurred to me that I frequently judge the success of my day based on the number of things I can check off on my lengthy to-do list. 

Why do I do this when I know that being busy does not equal happiness or success?

When I think about the people I admire and consider successful, I think of those who are free and generous with their time and money. People who know their priorities and spend time doing things that matter to them. People that live to serve their families and help others. I feel most successful and settled in my life when I care for myself and contribute to someone else, either by connecting with friends or family, life coaching my clients to feel better, or helping pet owners make their pets feel better. My time and dedication to myself and others are what feel most authentic and successful to me. So, why the morning list?

Society teaches us that collecting material things and listing accomplishments is what makes people most happy and successful. However, we can prove that this is not true as we accumulate things or accomplishments and find ourselves wanting more. 

Have you ever felt stuck thinking that you are “too busy”?

The feeling that comes from thinking of the long list of tasks causes our brain to become overwhelmed with stress. When our brain feels overwhelmed, it tries to protect us from pain and shuts down. Then we turn to distraction and pleasure to avoid our to-dos. Now we are stuck in inaction getting nothing done except maybe watching Netflix or eating a package of Oreos. Those actions do not bring joy or success.

Feeling stuck is a function of your thoughts about your current circumstances. You may be overwhelmed with work stress, adverse life events, or pressure to make big decisions—the chronic stress will cause you to retreat into yourself and stop moving. You may begin comparing yourself to others you think are accomplishing great things and shaming yourself. That shame is not a motivating emotion. When you feel that you are stepping out of your comfort zone, you will feel fear that also holds you back. Perfectionism will also keep you stuck.

How can you become unstuck from busy?

Start by identifying what you truly want. Who are the essential people in your life, and are you prioritizing them? What do you want to do? What is your next big goal? Work on your mindset about your priorities so you can begin to place the most important things at the top of the list. Challenge the thoughts that make you feel stuck. Today I spent time talking to my cousin and son and texting with my daughter. I spent time concentrating on those relationships as my priority before crossing anything off the to-do list.

Just take one small action step. Sometimes just starting with a little effort will motivate you to do more if you have a big goal you have been avoiding. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling stuck. The more you shame yourself, the more you will stay in indecision. Appreciate yourself when you do something that brings you joy. Busy is fine if it doesn’t cause you to feel overwhelmed, but the more important thing is to take actions that bring you closer to your values and joy. 

Get some rest and care for yourself. Self-care is an action step towards progress. Successful people know themselves well and put themselves first. When I finished my long bike ride this morning, I felt better about tackling my bullet journal list. 

Get help if you feel bogged down and overwhelmed. Having someone help you work through your inaction will help you get your brain out of stuck mode and move towards happiness. 

Now that I have this blog checked off my list, I will relax for the evening and spend some more time with my husband and my dogs. The remainder of the items will be there tomorrow.  I can feel happy and successful because I choose to.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” - Wayne Dyer.

“There is pain in staying the same and there is pain in changing. Pick the one that moves you forward.” ― Lee Rose & Kathleen McGhee-Anderson