Old Friends

Today is the final day of my biannual scrapbooking/crafting weekend with my girlfriends. To call us “girls” is probably a bit of a misnomer. We have been friends since we were in our twenties and now we are parents of adult children in their twenties. We are older and wiser now than when we met, and we have a long-term bond from the years of experiences we have lived through together. We have seen marriages, divorces, babies, pets, teenagers, college journeys, kids’ weddings, illness, loss, vacations, and years of scrapbooking weekends. The conversations we had over these three to four-day weekends could solve all the world’s problems if anyone listened to us. This band of “girls” has seen me through many events in my life, and I know that they will always have my back if something tragic happens.

According to an article written by the Mayo Clinic staff and published on their website, “Friendships: Enrich your life and improve your health.” I agree with that wholeheartedly, and there are so many benefits of making and keeping friends.  

Friends prevent us from feeling isolation or loneliness, providing companionship in times of need. They give us a sense of belonging and help us create purpose in our life. Friends boost our sense of happiness and reduce stress. They improve our self-confidence help us cope with trauma and illness. They encourage us to try new things and get out of our comfort zone. 

They may help you create better health habits by offering challenges. Just last night, I was marching up and down the stairs of the scrapbooking house trying to put in 5000 steps. Two women challenged me to join their stair walking loop to get to the 5000 steps they had decided to set as a goal while being stuck inside. Had they not challenged me to that goal, I probably would not have walked or exercised at all. We usually walk outside, but we experienced blowing snow and seventeen-degree temperatures this weekend, so no one wanted to step outside.

Although it may be challenging to maintain friendships as a busy adult, it pays to meet new friends and keep your relationships with friends from your past. It may take some effort from you to reach out to those you have not seen in a while but persist because it is worth it.

Stay in touch with people you work with or have worked with in the past. Nurture existing friendships by planning events together. These scrapbooking weekends are something that we all look forward to each spring and fall. If these weekends did not exist, I fear that we would not see each other for years. Setting up regular meetings with friends is the best way to nurture close relationships. 

If you feel “short” on friendships, join a club or take a class. I met one of my best friends twenty years ago because we took the same tap dancing class. We met on the first day as we were dancing next to each other, and we have been friends ever since. And we still take tap dancing class.

You can also meet people anywhere people are gathered. Charity events volunteer and opportunities are places to meet a friend. Don’t despair if you strike out the first few times you reach out to try to make a new friend. Be persistent, and you will be surprised how you can create a community for yourself. 

Accept invitations from neighbors or “new” friends. If you are not a theater geek, go to a show with someone. You may be surprised that you enjoy the company, even if you don’t love the show. Expand your horizons to expand your family or friends. 

Friends are essential to health and wellbeing; however, one of the best reasons to make and keep friends is that your life will be more fun. 

Enjoy the time you spend with your friends - laugh, challenge, love, and support. You will be better for the company of old friends. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

"Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together."  - Woodrow Wilson