Willing to Push

Today I rode my bicycle along the Macomb Orchard Trail, which is a 23-mile path that goes from Rochester to Richmond, Michigan. It is one of my favorite bike trails because it is paved, has a nice mixture of shade and sunshine, and various things to see, including wildlife, water, farmland, and some small-town areas.  

I did not attempt the whole 23-mile stretch, but I did put in a solid twenty miles, ten miles out and back. It was a very warm — I might say hot — sunny day, which was great, but the sun and wind takes a lot out of me when I am riding. The last five miles tested my mental resolve and my physical body. I had to push myself to continue the ride back to my car parked at the end of the trail. Ironically, as I was riding, I listened to an audiobook about resilience and positive change. It made me think about the parallels between my challenging bike ride and the more considerable challenges that I face in life. Success in anything comes down to our willingness to push ourselves when faced with challenges —physical challenges like my bike ride or mental challenges like complicated relationships or work failures.

What do successful high achieving people have that keeps them from avoiding challenges? Tony Schwartz, in his Harvard Review article, says, “It’s the willingness to push themselves beyond their current limits day in and day out, despite the discomfort that it creates, the sacrifice of more immediate gratification, and the uncertainty they’ll be rewarded for their efforts.” They are willing to push. 

The willingness to push yourself when things are difficult is a key life skill that we need to develop to bring about positive change. Our brain has this thing called the motivational triad, which drives us to conserve energy, avoid pain, and seek pleasure. This does not align with the need to push through the pain to get to bigger goals. For example, if I want to get into better biking shape, I have to be willing to have a difficult last five miles, pushing my body to be stronger. Overcoming my innate desire to avoid pain requires me to do some mental work to keep from quitting. 

Anytime you feel resistant to some painful task, you are probably battling with your primitive brain. Even while I am writing this, my brain keeps on telling me to get a snack or check my phone—anything to avoid the pain of writing. My writing and biking are both exercises in discipline. Do I fail? Of course, over and over again. The real trick to success is in not giving up until my blog is finished. Each week my willingness to push myself to the end allows me to create another inspiring blog for your reading pleasure. ;)

There are some things that you can do to increase your ability to push through.

Create a strong why. If you don’t like your reason for doing something, your brain will talk you out of taking the steps needed to accomplish it.  Work on the way first. What is your reason for setting the goal? What will you get at the end? How will it make you feel when you get it?  Keeping your focus on your “why” will allow you to plan and then take steps to get it done willingly. 

Understand and avoid your temptations. Get to know the things that you do to avoid pain. I know that I check email, watch television, or eat unhealthy snacks to avoid some of my pain. You may surf the internet, play video games, or even blame others for your lack of focus. If you want to get something done, you need to keep those distractions in mind but out of your reach. For example, when I am writing, I have to turn off my phone or set the timer to keep me from checking it while I am writing.  

Set the goal but ask for help. In my bike riding case, taking a bike trail in one direction ten miles forces me to ride the entire way back without quitting. Having a friend along to push me might also help if I feel fragile and vulnerable on any given day. Having a coach or accountability partner will help keep you on track by breaking down your goals into smaller steps, then help you work through your unwillingness to feel the pain when it comes up.

Practice increasing your willingness to push by setting small goals for yourself daily. Try to push yourself just a bit harder than you did the day before. Whatever your big goal is, you will begin to reach it as you take steps to train your brain to be willing to push.   

Dr. Julie Cappel

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