Love, three bucks, and a doe

Today is Valentine’s Day and it makes me think about love and the importance of connection. In our current environment of pandemic confusion, social and traditional media negativity, and political drama, we need to cling to love and relationships in order to feel more optimistic.  Without love and optimism our future looks bleak and we stop working towards common goals. Love is always better than hate.

I looked out my windows this morning and saw a quiet neighborhood, covered with snow and ice.  The deer that walk through my backyard looked content even in the freezing cold — three beautiful bucks and a doe.   They were quietly walking back from their breakfast at my neighbor’s feeding station.  She cares for them in winter, when they would struggle to take care of themselves.  There is no hate in my neighborhood.  The hate only comes into my life if I surf social media.  There I can find as much hate as I can stand.  Love and peace is better than hate. 

On this Valentine’s Day, in honor of my neighbor and the deer, let’s think about how we can increase love and decrease hate.

We can take control of our inner dialogue.  You have control of your thoughts even when it doesn’t feel that way.  Think about separating what you can control from what you cannot.  Start working on your self development — creating positive goals and planning the steps to get you there.   When negative things happen around you, look for the lessons.  Mentally turning a disaster into a challenge will help you to remain optimistic in the face of life’s challenges.  Always speak to yourself kindly and you will create more kind loving thoughts for others. 

We can practice spontaneous random acts of kindness.  Vow to help someone this week.  Offer your services to another without expecting anything in return.  Share words of encouragement or post something positive on social media and challenge your followers to do the same.  Giving to others is a great way to add love to your world and makes other people feel loved and appreciated too.  Generosity creates optimism and love.

We can reach out to someone.  Call a family member, friend, or neighbor just to say hello.  Sharing your time with others not only shows love, but feels lovely.  You never know when someone is feeling most alone and overwhelmed.  One call or word of encouragement will go a long way to increasing their feelings of being cared for and loved. 

We can practice self care.  Turn off social media, read an optimistic book, practice meditation, yoga, or take a nap.  Creating a healthy mind and body is a great way to increase self love.  When you are feeling cared for physically and emotionally you will have a higher capacity to show love and share love.  Take care of yourself and appreciate the blessings that you have all around you.  

Happy Valentine’s Day and much love from me and my three bucks and a doe. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”— Gandhi

“I am fundamentally an optimist . . . Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair.” — Nelson Mandela