New Year’s Resolution Anxiety

I do not know if there is such a thing as resolution anxiety, but if there is, I think that I have it. 

Each year as the holidays come to a close, I resolve to eat healthier, exercise more, be more generous, make more money, and many, many things.  I am so freaking ambitious when the new year rolls around that I set some pretty lofty goals for myself.  The self promises are always easier to make than to keep.  This past year my resolutions experienced a little twist (I am sure yours did too) with the emergence of Covid-19 stay at home orders and the uncertainty of contracting an ugly virus.  Shock and grief over the loss of life and liberty allowed me to slack off quite a bit. Some of my resolutions were just not possible.

One of my big resolutions last year included travel to Italy.  I researched the destinations and prices, but luckily never actually scheduled anything.  The pandemic hit before I had a chance to make solid plans.  Travel resolutions went down the toilet for all of us in 2020.  

When I look back on New Year’s resolutions that I have made in the past, it seems that I am about 40-50% successful in completing my goals.  Some of them I nail, and others get half completed or neglected altogether, so I add them to the list for the following year.  I don’t usually sweat it too much because I see those failures as lessons for my future. 

The dictionary definition of making New Year’s resolutions is “setting goals for the New Year.”  The word “goals” is not normally an anxiety provoking word for me.  I usually love goal setting.  This year, however I feel off balance as I do so.  Goals for 2021 seem to be causing me to question everything and so I am experiencing some resolution anxiety. 

Why is it healthy for us to set goals in the new year?

One reason is that it creates optimism.  Thinking about erasing past mistakes and planning for  the new year allows us to feel excitement and hope.  Hope and optimism are good things.  Just the act of setting goals creates hope, and I would argue that each step in the direction of change is a positive one - even if you never reach the lofty end goal.  

Another reason for goal setting is the ability to take stock of where you are and then examine where you would like to be.  Thinking about past mistakes and dropped goals allows you to learn about yourself and acknowledge the things that you want to change. Do you want to be more grateful or generous?  Start by setting that goal in the new year.

So, how do I resolve my resolution anxiety?

Embrace the feeling and work to understand it. I can feel anxious and still move forward if I work to understand my feelings.  Of course I will feel uncertain this year because my brain is still reeling from last year.  Who would expect a global pandemic?  Once I understand where my anxiety is coming from -- my past, I can move forward without fear into the future.  I probably will put my trip to Italy on the list, with the understanding that it may not happen until 2022 or beyond.  Just listing it gives me hope.

Set goals that can be broken down into small steps.  Instead of making a resolution to “get into better shape” which is vague and undefined. I can resolve to add one hour of exercise per week or cut one or two bad food habits from my diet.  The more specific and measurable the resolutions, the more likely I am to keep them.  The smaller the steps, the easier they are to accomplish. 

Remember that people who actually make resolutions and write them down are much more likely to see positive change and accomplishments in their future.  If you are experiencing resolution anxiety like I am, push through anyway.  It will all be for the good.  Share your resolutions with a friend or family member.  Sharing helps you to remain accountable.  And don’t forget to look at how you did last year.  I am sure that you rocked it!

Have a happy, blessed New Year and get some shit done.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility.  Breaking them is part of the cycle.” – Eric Zorn