Thanks and Giving

This year has been most difficult to say the least.  Covid-19 has been challenging and unsettling.  It has led us to change the way we work, school, relate, and live. Families caring for young children and people caring for the elderly have my deepest admiration.  Home schooling and the ever-changing mandates must make it so difficult to plan and work.  

Thanksgiving this year was different for most of us who celebrate the holiday.  We gave up large gatherings, travel, and restaurants in an attempt to fight a virus that is unseen and untamed. Practicing thanks and giving is most challenging when we are experiencing times like these.  We must search with intention to see small blessings in the midst of our negative circumstance. 

 

Let us remain grateful and generous during this most difficult holiday season.

Focus on what’s important.  We all experience difficulties and setbacks, but even in the midst of difficulty we can choose to focus on something positive.  Someone was kind to you, family or friends reached out - even the little gestures that come to you can be seen in a grateful way.  It does not mean that you do not feel your sadness or grief. You need to acknowledge those feelings to process them.  Searching for little blessings in the midst of a tragedy will help you start to see a way to hope.

Kindness shared will spread. “Pay it forward” is a real thing.  If you share something positive with another, they will become happier and share that same attitude with someone else.  One small gesture - like paying for another’s fast food or coffee in the drive through line, will spark a series of future positive actions.  Just imagine how gratitude would spread if we just practiced one small gesture each day.  The small gestures of appreciation to others will ultimately shine back on you and bring you joy.   The ugly social media frenzy that you focused on this morning will be overshadowed with goodness when you give to someone else. 

Practice gratitude and thanksgiving at least once per week.  You do not have to make this a chore, but some regularity will help turn your negative brain chatter down and turn up your spirit.  Make a point to specifically practice gratitude one day each week or even everyday if you are so inclined.  Some regular intentional practice, like exercise, will build your gratitude muscle.  Specifically name at least one thing in your week that you can be thankful for and then practice one action that allows you to share your blessings with others.  Whether it is kind words for a friend or kindness to a stranger.  If you do it purposefully you will get the most reward, a positive mindset boost. 

Thanks and giving helps you to focus on the life that you have right now.  You can be the example and the inspiration for another human in this most challenging holiday season.  Reach out virtually, in writing, or from a proper social distance.  A small blessing, once found, will start to change thoughts of self-pity into silver lining possibility. 

There are so many ways to be thankful and giving. Share yours with me in the comments, or on Facebook and Instagram!

Dr. Julie Cappel

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” - G.K. Chesterton

Dusting away

Today I spent much of this snowy Sunday cleaning my house.  I am not a big fan of housework.  I have done it for many years and I am pretty good at it but I do not enjoy it.   There was a lot to do today because I worked long hours this week.  My kitchen needed to be reassembled because it was all torn up getting freshly painted, and my bathroom was its own dust covered, natural disaster.  

My home is generally clean most of the time, thanks to my mother.  She trained me as a child to make my bed, dust (once in a while), clean the dishes, scrub bathrooms, and vacuum up the pet hair. In fact, she also taught me that you really need to clean your house right before you host company.  You know when you hustle about the house before visitors arrive just to make sure that everyone knows that you are a clean person. We haven’t had to do that recently, but I will be ready when we are able to host company again — thanks Mom!

Keeping a clean home and work space is so important to how we feel.  As soon as I was done cleaning my kitchen and bathroom, I felt immediately more in control and at peace.  Even though I don’t like to clean, I love the peaceful feeling that comes with having an organized and clean area in which to live and work.  

Researchers at Princeton University found that clutter makes it more difficult for people to focus on a specific task.  A study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that women were more fatigued and depressed if they described their homes as cluttered.  Another study showed that people who make their bed each morning are 19 percent more likely to report getting a good night’s sleep.  

How do you start if you hate cleaning like I do?

Start small or constrain. We often live with clutter because a project seems overwhelming and time consuming.  We have so little time, right?  When I feel myself avoiding a project I remind myself that I do not have to tackle it all in one day. If I only have an hour, I can choose to work for one hour. (Even 15 or 30 minutes will work)  I set my timer and give myself a constrained amount of time to organize.  If I totally focus for 30 minutes or an hour I will always get more done than I originally planned.  Breaking an overwhelming task into constrained sessions makes completion feel less impossible.

If you are feeling chaotic this week, try to clean just a little.  Make your bed, organize your sock drawer, put your shoes away, throw out one journal, or wipe that layer of dust off your desk.  Any little thing that you can do to make your life cleaner and more organized will improve your outlook. You will feel more in control of your busy life.  

Also, cut yourself a little slack when you see the dust.  It is there to remind you that you are human — It can always be wiped away.

Dr. Julie Cappel

Bringing my work home

We have a hospital parrot.  Actually she is my family parrot that I keep at the veterinary hospital. Until this week…

Kimi is a Quaker that was originally my daughter’s pet, a birthday gift when she turned ten years old.  My daughter wanted a bird and I love Quakers, so with a bit of influence from me we picked out a baby Quaker.  Quakers are one of my favorite parrots because they are full of sass and attitude. Our Kimi is no exception.  She is loud and bossy, and bites anyone that dares put their hand in her cage.  She loves people (when she is not in her cage) and junk food, which makes living in our hospital break room the most amazing place for her.  

Kimi lives in the break room since my kids grew up and left home for college and beyond.  Quakers do not make good dorm room or apartment pets, so she remained with me.  One day when I took her to work for boarding while I was on vacation, I decided to let her stay where she could get more attention and be entertained by the day to day activities of the hospital team members.  She also loves visiting with the other birds that live and board at our hospital.  

This week Kimi became suddenly ill.  I did not noticed that anything was wrong but one of our astute technicians noticed that she was acting a little strange on Tuesday.   When we took her out of the cage to share lunch with us, it quickly became apparent that she was indeed ill.  We drew some blood and started her on some medication.  By the end of the day it didn’t look good, so I packed her up in a little hospital cage, warmed up the car, and carried her home to convalesce on my bathroom counter.   

Since Tuesday, she has been shuttling back and forth with me from work to home and back again, so I can keep an eye on her and take care of her medical needs.   She started to eat better today and squawked a bit, so I think she is coming around. 

This has been part of my job as a veterinarian for as long as I have been working.  Orphan kittens, sick birds, injured bunnies, and even baby ducks have spent time in my bathroom.  We take our work home.  Not just literally (patients and records), we also take it home emotionally.  We don’t or can’t leave our work at work — it seems to never end.

This is why we need to learn to coach ourselves to feel our emotions and process them.  Bringing our work home is not the problem, but feeling overwhelmed by bringing work home is.  Feeling that we are not allowed to say, “No” is also one of our key issues.  In my case, I  did not want to say “No” to Kimi; however, if I was feeling very overwhelmed by her illness, I could drop her off with one of my emergency clinic friends to let them treat her all week.  I have options to protect myself emotionally through coaching and manage my physical situation by asking for help.  Taking care of ourselves needs to be our priority. 

Thank goodness, Kimi seems to be improving today and I am hopeful that she will recover. 

Veterinarians, I understand the enormity of your job.  I encourage you to learn to coach yourself through the rough days.  Create some boundaries when you need to protect yourself.  Love the fact that you can help the pets because not everyone is equipped to handle tough situations, but you are.  You are dedicated, strong, brave and worthy. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Be strong, be brave, be beautiful, and believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.”  - Misty Copeland

Life lessons from the seat of my bike.

Today was an unusually beautiful day — seventy degrees and sunny in November — unheard of in Michigan. On a day like today I like to get out on my bicycle and put in some miles on the bike trail near my home.   Because the day was so beautiful there were many people on the trail and in the parks; walking, riding, and even some skateboarding.  Everyone was kind and friendly, and they seemed very happy to be outside on this glorious day. 

As I was riding I started thinking about how much good it does us to get outdoors and exercise.  Not only is it vital to our physical health, it also improves our mental health. Biking outdoors can also teach us some interesting life lessons. 

Exercise feels better when you do it outdoors.  Getting out of the house, especially in this time of Covid, feels great.  After spending 10-11 hours working in my veterinary hospital with a mask over my face, riding in the fresh air is so much more enjoyable.  The fresh air feels better and smells sweeter when you are spending most of your day breathing into a mask. Appreciating something as common as air, puts many things into perspective and helps me to remain grateful.  Grateful that I am healthy enough to ride and that there is fresh air to breathe on the bike trail.  

Bike trails have many turns, hills, and valleys, just like life.  Spending time navigating those turns and paying attention to the ups and downs makes me more focused and alert.  When life changes, it pays to expect the emotions that come with change.  Uncertainty and fear of failure come from our ups and downs.  Allowing and expecting negative emotion makes us stronger and more willing to take on anything. There will always be good and bad in my life and if I am  lucky, more good than bad.  Staying alert for the turns in anticipation of change helps me cope with uncertainty in my life. 

Spending time outdoors in the sunshine also helps to improve my immune system by relieving some stress.  The exercise is good for my heart, builds muscles, and the activity itself distracts me from my problems or in some cases allows me the time to sort them out.  Biking allows for ample time to think and reflect, keeping my stressful thoughts from taking hold.  Many times I solve my problem just by spending time thinking on the bike.   Riding in the sunshine also allows me to absorb some much needed vitamin D.  

It is said that there is no gain without pain, but I say that you can gain so much without pain if you just get yourself outside to exercise.  Focus on the journey, not the destination.  Ride a bike if you are able, but if you can’t just get out and walk. You will meet the best version of yourself there. Happy riding!

Dr. Julie Cappel  

“Unless you puke, faint, or die, keep going.”-JILLIAN MICHAELS

Join me on the Podcast - The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730

  

Living in my moment for the holidays

Oh no, here we go.  When Halloween passes I start to feel holiday anxiety.  I want to take down my Halloween decor and start putting up the Christmas lights as fast as I can.  I have a need, not unlike Clark Griswold, to put up as many lights as possible.  I feel pressure to decorate, shop, plan, and work, work, work.  Why do I do this to myself?

If 2020 has taught us anything, it is that we need to live more consciously in the moment. I vow to live more in the moment this holiday season and into the new year.

Let me smile more each day.  I can practice optimism more and minimize stress.  Smiling is my face telling my brain that I am really happy with my life.  No matter what is happening in any given day, I can vow to smile more and bring myself and others more joy.  Offering my optimistic attitude to myself first will help me to set an example for others.  If I can keep my brain out of the judgment zone and in the acceptance zone, it will allow for more joy.  

Let me forgive myself and others.  Resentment and shame are just negative emotions that will build and bring you down.  If someone has wronged you, don’t let them keep hurting you by hanging on to the resentment.  You can let go of the negative emotion without allowing their continued negativity to affect you.  I have had people come in and out of my life and I forgive them a
ll, but it does not mean that I need to actively pursue a relationship with them.  Attempting to change someones opinion of you is not a useful exercise.  Changing your opinion of yourself is. 

Let me chose to love my work.  Whether it is my veterinary work, my coaching, or housework, I have the power to choose to love whatever I am doing.  Even putting up the Christmas lights in the cold winter wind, can be enjoyable if I chose to think of it that way.  I have control over my attitude when it comes to work and play.  “Any task you undertake becomes a piece of cake, with a spoonful of sugar” to quote Mary Poppins.  

Let me think outside the box.  Keeping an open mind and a thirst for learning will open up me world to possibility.  The more I read and stay off of social media, the better my life will be. Work on yourself at a pace that feels comfortable, but do not stagnate.  A bit of change and challenge each day will help you grow and reach new goals. 

Let me let go of one bad habit.  My one bad habit is worry.   This year I participated in worry so many times. (I guess a pandemic will do that to a girl)   Over and over again I thought that I could control outcomes by worrying about them.   In not one case did any of the worry make a difference.  The worry is a wasted emotion.  I have improved over the years, but my personality has a strong grasp on worry.  This holiday I will work to let go of that bad habit.

I vow continue to work on myself and live in the moment for the rest of 2020 and into 2021.  How about you?

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Happiness, not in another place but this place...not for another hour, but this hour.” ― Walt Whitman

Join me on The Veterinary Life Coach Podcast!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-veterinary-life-coach-podcast-with-dr-julie-cappel/id1451549730