It
is one of the most common things that I read in the rants on the veterinary/veterinary
technician Facebook groups. Veterinarians
and veterinary technicians that are disgusted, angry and even bitter about people
asking work questions when they are off duty.
We
all know how this goes. You attend a
dinner party, family gathering, school event or even a funeral. Someone discovers that you are a veterinarian
or work in the veterinary field. The next
statement is, “I have a question for you.”
Not, “May I ask you ask
you a question?” or “Do you mind
if I ask you a question?”, although sometimes the polite ones start this
way. More often than not, they just
assume that you are longing to hear their drawn-out, crazy animal story and
answer all of their related (and unrelated) questions. The questions may not even be about their own
pet. It is their brother’s dog, their
neighbor’s cat, the school rabbit, or some treatment that the groomer or
breeder recommended to them or their friend.
It
happens all the time and we should expect it. How often I find myself avoiding
the “What do you do for a living?” question?
We know that we cannot stop it
from happening, but maybe we can develop better coping strategies to help keep
us sane when it does.
Is
there a better way that we can handle these situations and think differently to
keep us from getting stressed?
Here
are a few that I suggest.
Look
for the humor in their story or the situation. When people are talking about
their dog’s diarrhea at a dinner party, leaving the other guests gagging on
their food -- that is some funny stuff. I love to listen to people try to explain
something that the neighbor’s, brothers, friend’s dog ate or surgery that they
had. It is funny when they mispronounce a medication or disease that they read
about on the internet. If you listen for
humor and enjoy their stories, then you will feel less stress in the conversation
whether you choose to give advice or not.
Set
boundaries. There is no reason that you
have to answer any question when you are not at work. We are such people pleasers and we may feel awkward
or selfish if we choose not to answer a medical question in our off-work hours. The truth is that you can set a boundary at
any time just for self-care. No need to
be rude, but you can say something like, “I am sorry, I prefer not to comment
on a pet that I have not examined.” “I
am here to (fill in the blank) but I would be happy to examine your pet tomorrow
if you want to call the office and schedule an appointment.” Stand up for yourself and set a boundary to protect
your off time.
Practice
empathy and think generously. If you employ
empathy, you will begin to understand why people do what they do. They care about their pets and may have some
legitimate concerns. They are just reacting to the good news that fate has
given them an opportunity by dropping a veterinarian in their lap. If you
understand their motivation, and maintain a generous mindset, it will be easier
to listen and give your best advice. If you
tell them to take their pet for an exam, you can do it from a place of
generosity and empathy. Do it because you want to be the person that treats
others well. Do it because you want to
be the person that happily helps others.
Dr.
Julie Cappel
“That's what I consider true generosity: You
give your all and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing.” —Simone de Beauvoir
1 comment:
Or one of your parents tells everyone at the event, this is our daughter, she’s a veterinarian!!
Post a Comment