The power in being Present - When clients bring frustration

Let’s face it; people can be annoying and frustrating.  For those of us who work in the veterinary world, where people come attached to each patient, our frustration and stress can build throughout the day.  Each client’s idiosyncrasies piled one on one, combined with the eternal love and concern for their pets, can cause us to reach the end of our day totally drained. 

 I had one of these challenging client situations last week.  It is a perfect example of turning an annoying client experience into something wonderful if we can just remain present.   Amy Cuddy defines presence as “bringing your boldest self to your biggest challenges.”  Presence allows us to listen with an open mind and convey to people that we truly care about them.  It allows us to avoid giving up on a difficult client encounter and makes us work for the pet.

The short version of this story is that a client brought her adult terrier to me because the dog had been vomiting and having diarrhea for at least 3 days.  The terrier was sweet, but appeared to be depressed and somewhat dehydrated.  I proceeded to do my job as I normally would, getting vitals, asking questions and getting permission to do testing to try to diagnose the illness and choose the appropriate treatments. 

The annoyance started when the client kept referring to her cell phone to look up different diagnoses and asking me if I knew what the various diseases were.  She was also texting her friend who was apparently telling her about ways to save money in this situation and asking her to challenge me about the things that I was explaining. 

I attempted to remain kind and patient, but in my head I was getting annoyed. “Yes, I do know what gastroenteritis is.”  “ Yes I know about Parvo virus.”   (Me thinking - Yes I am a licensed veterinarian and I think that is why you are here.)

Well this appointment went on and on with the client declining my proposed plans and her reading about the things I should be doing on her phone.  After over an hour of this back and forth, she declined almost every test, asked me for a prescription for the medications, and almost denied treatment.  I say “almost” because that is when I decided to be more present and become my boldest self.

I used my most patient kind doctor voice to insist that she allow me to at least give the dog some fluids and an anti-vomiting injection to try to get her on the path to healing.  I would be happy to write her a prescription for the medications and bland diet to appease her frugal friend.  I knew that if I totally lost my cool the dog would be the one to suffer, so I accepted the reality of my situation and worked to make it the best that it could be.

Because I remained present I was able to convince her that her pet needed treatment and that I was the one competent enough to help her.  She left the office with a budget friendly bill and a dog that is on the road to recovery. 

So when you are faced with a challenging person, remember to not take it too personally.  Remain present and bring out the boldest, best version of yourself.  It will get you beyond the frustration and bring you through to a successful, albeit not perfect, outcome.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.  Always work with it, not against it.”   Eckhard Tolle.

Am I good enough? Hello self-doubt.

Have you ever stood outside an exam room door and felt anxiety about what is waiting for you on the other side?  Do you wonder if you are up to the challenge or have the skills to get it right?   

If so, my veterinary friends, you are dealing with self-doubt.

What if the client does not like me?  What if I cannot make a quick diagnosis?  What if I make a mistake and the pet does not do well or even worse, dies?

Self-doubt is a struggle for us in the veterinary profession.  Every human can suffer from it, but we have many seemingly valid reasons for feeling it daily.  We are required to be brave and make decisions with little solid evidence, often guessing at where a pet feels pain, or about the source of their illness. Many times we do not have the benefit of proper diagnostic procedures due to a client’s financial situation.

To make matters even more difficult, most veterinarians have perfectionist tendencies.  The pursuit of perfection is tricky.  We want to adhere to high standards, but since perfection is impossible, our need to be perfect can hold us back causing us to avoid making efficient decisions.

How can we mitigate self-doubt, strive for perfection, deal with uncertainty and overcome our anxiety?  It takes some concentrated mental effort, but it is definitely possible.

Remember that you are a talented and unique individual.  You did not become a veterinarian by accident.  It took many years of incredibly hard work and dedication.  If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.  Remember that the clients appear in your exam room because they trust and respect you.  They are paying you for your education, discernment and expert opinion.

Realize that veterinarians, like all other humans, are not perfect.  You can strive for perfection, while knowing that the goal of perfection is impossible.  You can choose to accept imperfections or small failures as part of your learning process. Accepting that failure is part of the human experience may help to relieve you of some of the pressure that you place on yourself.

Recognize your successes and celebrate your accomplishments.  Keep a journal, or list of outcomes, of the cases of which you are particularly proud. Read it every time that little bit of self-doubt starts to surface.  Hold on to those thank you notes and cards that your clients send to you even after a pet dies.  Your clients know that you do everything in your power to help them and they acknowledge it.  Read a few of them the next time you feel anxiety or self-doubt creep in.

Daisy and Lambchop

Confide in a mentor, coach, or peer that understands where you are coming from.  Seek help when you feel that the self-doubt is keeping you from being the best veterinarian that you can be.  By understanding that everyone in this profession struggles with some feeling of self-doubt, you will recognize that you are not alone and will be able to quickly accept your feelings when they arise.   

Dr. Julie Cappel

Maybe later. Dealing with procrastination.

It is Sunday. I am working on my blog that I need to post tonight.  Ironically the blog is about procrastination and I have left it unfinished until today.  Anyway…

If you have been a veterinarian or veterinary technician for more than a day you know that clients procrastinate. They notice a problem with Fluffy on Wednesday morning and call for an appointment just before closing on Friday night.  You prescribe antibiotics for their dog’s ear infection to be given twice a day for two weeks, and they return with a more severe infection in four weeks, because they didn’t finish the prescribed course of medication.  They bring in their pet with a problem today, then refuse the diagnostics and medications choosing instead to watch and wait.  It makes our job so difficult, so why do they do it?

Procrastination is about fear of failure and every human being does it. Procrastination comes from our fear of making the wrong decision, so we avoid making decisions at all.  Our clients fear that if they bring the pet in “too soon” we may say that the pet is normal. They fear that wasting our time and their money will embarrass them, so they wait a few days to see if the pet gets better.  We procrastinate calling a client with bad news, talking to a problem employee or writing up a record on a long involved case.  When we procrastinate or avoid our problems they snowball into larger issues we could have avoided if we simply took action.

How can we avoid the fear of failure and make decisions without procrastination?  How can we help our clients do the same?

Never judge yourself or your client for the decisions that were made. It is difficult to avoid feeling judgmental when a client tells you that they didn’t give the dispensed medication, but beating them up over something that is in the past will help no one, including you. Increasing self-confidence will lead to better results, so encourage them in their small successes. Realizing that they have done their best is all you can do to move forward to correct the situation.  Don’t dwell on the past but stay in the present and be kind, so that they will feel comfortable coming to you the next time they need help.

Beating yourself up around procrastination is also an exercise that you need to avoid.   Encourage yourself by taking baby steps.  When you feel fear around a decision start with a small step in the direction of your goal.  Small steps can help you mitigate the fear and lead to leaps in the right direction. Realize that procrastination is just your brain feeling fearful.  If you see the fear as unnecessary, you will be more likely to take positive action.

“Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.”– Michael Landon

Save the Drama - Feeling Overwhelmed and Dealing with Stress

Tomorrow is Monday.  At my veterinary hospital that means drama.

Because Monday is one of the busiest days of our week, it is the perfect day to experience drama, which leads to feeling overwhelmed and ultimately stressed.  I have to admit that I love a little drama, in fact I am sometimes the one that creates it, but I hate to see my veterinary team frustrated and stressed over something that is beyond our control.  Monday.

Last Monday we had three doctors on the schedule, plus me, working there doing my paperwork.  I don’t see clients on Monday as a general rule.  The schedule was packed as usual and several people called with sick birds.  Alas, I am the only bird vet.  When the receptionist politely asks me to see Mr. or Mrs. So and So with their birds, the first thing I do is loudly complain and create stress around the situation. “How will I ever get my paperwork done?” I declare, knowing that I will ultimately say “yes” and see the birds.  Why create the drama? 

I think that the drama feels necessary to us.  It feels warranted.  Our brain likes everything to feel structured, orderly and quiet.  Our brain does not like to be challenged or forced to make quick decisions.  That is why when we feel the need to make many decisions very quickly, our brain causes us to feel overwhelmed so we have a reason to just run and hide.   It is the way we are wired deep in our primitive thinking. 

Stress and feeling overwhelmed are simply emotions.  They have no purpose.  They pretend to be caused by the events going on around us, but are never caused by the events. They are in our mind and under our control.  The stress and frustration we feel is our brain avoiding decision making.  We don’t want to make a choice, so we create drama to avoid making that choice.   When too many choices are presented we have an emotional meltdown to avoid facing them.

How can we keep the drama away and prevent the feeling of being overwhelmed?  Start with managing your thoughts about the busyness of the day.  Why shouldn’t we be busy?  It is Monday.  Mondays are always swamped, because we have been closed for the weekend and people have been watching their sick pets just waiting for us to open.  Normal. Natural. Right?  Getting upset, complaining and stressing-out serves no purpose. 

This is something that we can control.  If our brain is avoiding making decisions we need to teach our brain to make quick decisions and give our brain limited options.  When a client with a sick bird wants to come in on my day of paperwork, I really only have 2 choices.  Say “yes”, or say “no”.  No complaining, no drama.  I know that I will always say "yes", so why not just go there first to avoid the stress?  Limit your brain’s options, make quick decisions and train your brain to avoid the drama.  This will ultimately save you time and energy and keep you from feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

The next time you say, “I feel so stressed” or “ I feel overwhelmed”, think about why you are creating these feelings.  Realize it is a choice that you are making to avoid managing your decisions. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

Please share a story about how you overcame your drama in the comment section below.

Find your Grit and become a Ninja.

“Grit is that 'extra something' that separates the most successful people from the rest. It's the passion, perseverance, and stamina that we must channel in order to stick with our dreams until they become a reality.”   Travis Bradberry

This weekend I was fortunate enough to participate in an event that reminded me about the concept of grit. 

What do I mean by grit?  The definition is, “courage and resolve; strength of character” and in the above quote “that extra something”.  It is the extra something that convinces us not to quit when our negative thoughts tell us that things are impossible in our work or home life.  Grit allows for success in the face of failure.

Have you ever watched American Ninja Warrior?   The contest is a true test of human perseverance and grit. The contestants prepare for the courses and come back to try again, even when they fall face first into the water surrounding the obstacles.  The Ninjas are doing things with their bodies that they thought was impossible until they actually hit the buzzer and finish.

What I did this weekend was nowhere near American Ninja Warrior caliber, but for me it was a test of grit.   It was a 50-mile bike ride, in 92-degree heat and I was a rookie.   My last 20 miles were along an asphalt road with heat radiating off the pavement up into my face,  sun beating down on my baking skin and sweat pouring into my eyes.  My legs were fatigued and it would have been super easy to just pull off the route and call Uber (with a bike rack) to take me home.  I had to reach down deep to pull out my grit to keep peddling to the finish.  I was hot, tired and a bit miserable, but when I saw the finish line, I was proud of myself for my accomplishment. 

Do we need grit in our veterinary practice?  Absolutely!  When an emergency walks in, just as you are just getting ready to leave for the evening.  Grit.  When you have two walk-in appointments in addition to your regular schedule.  You have to be gritty.  You have to put on your multitasking hat, boss your technicians around like a Ninja, and get the impossible done.  Your mind will tell you that it is crazy to take care of two emergencies at once, but in reality you can do it.  You just go into Ninja Warrior mode and get it done.  You don’t have time for worry or fear; you need to pull out your grit plow forward and trust your instincts and your team.  You will save 2 lives in the time it usually takes to save one.  What a great feeling!  Super Veterinary Ninja! 

The next time you feel your brain telling you that your life is too much, or you need to

do something that seems impossible, call on your grit and become a Ninja.   

Leave me a story about a time that you used your grit to overcome an obstacle in the comments below.