What is it about our clients that make us feel bad?

Can clients make us feel bad?  If they criticize, judge, complain, push, ask for discounts, and talk over you, do you get frustrated or discouraged?  If you do a great job with their pet and they don’t notice, do you get discouraged or worse, depressed?

 Yes, clients are often very demanding, but we have a choice to feel any way that we want to feel about it.  What if we were just fascinated and entertained by them?  What if we could just be interested in their behavior?  What would it FEEL like if we chose to think about them differently?

First of all, you are the keeper of your brain.  You have the ability to control your thoughts and the way the thoughts translate into the way you feel about those thoughts.  You get to choose to either find the nasty client entertaining and interesting, and wonder why they choose to act the way they are acting, or let that person get the best of you and cause you to feel upset, angry or dejected.  It is a choice, for sure, 100%.  However, it is a difficult task to think and feel differently.  It takes practice and it takes examining the thoughts that you have in any given moment, acknowledging those thoughts and choosing to change those thoughts. 

Here is a true story example from my own client experience.

Mrs. Hurryup shows up with Vicious, her Chihuahua, over 10 minutes late for her 20-minute afternoon wellness appointment.  As soon as she walks into the exam room with the technician she announces, “I am in a hurry because I have another appointment to get to, and then I have to pick up my son.  Oh, and by the way Vicious has been having diarrhea for a week and has been chewing his feet for a couple days and can I get his vaccines today?”   Fascinating right?  The technician quickly takes a history and sends me into the room with the woman and her tiny frightened dog.  I examine Vicious and decide that he needs some blood work, skin impression and a fecal smear, some subcutaneous fluids and some medication for the diarrhea and itching.  I make up a treatment plan with the prices for our diagnostics/treatments and send the technician back in with the plan.  Mrs. Hurryup signs the plan and looks at her watch wondering why this is taking so long.  I ask for permission to take the dog and attempt to start my diagnostics moving as quickly as possible, so she can make her appointment elsewhere.  Feeling very proud of myself that I got everything done so quickly I smile as I walk Vicious back into the room.  Mrs. Hurryup frowns at me and says, “you know that I have another appointment. I need to leave.”  So, I quickly explain the medications, tell her that I will call her tomorrow with the blood results and send her to the front desk to pay her bill. 

Next thing I know, the receptionist comes to me telling me that Mrs. Hurryup is complaining loudly in the reception area about the exam fee on her bill.  She tells the receptionist and the rest of the clients in the reception area that the doctor did not really examine her dog, and the doctor seemed “in a hurry”. True story.  The client even threatened to change to another veterinary hospital because she felt like “the doctor was rushed”. 

What do we do in this situation?  How do we keep from getting frustrated and dejected even angry when it seems as if there is no way to make a client happy?  My answer is, choose to think of them differently.  Choose to see her as a fascinating study in human behavior and continue to treat her with kindness.  Maybe she has a sick child, husband or other family member and feels overwhelmed with her situation with the diarrhea dog.  Maybe she has financial troubles and is trying to get a discount by complaining loudly to the receptionist.  Maybe she is just a naturally angry human being.  At any rate, I do not have to have her change my thinking about the job that I just did.  I examined her dog, got his diagnostics, gave him his treatments and got her on her way as fast as I could to try to help her make her next appointment.  I was a rock star!  The fact that she does not understand how great I am has no bearing on my thoughts about myself or my happiness.   

 I did meet her up at the reception desk and calmly happily asked her if there was anything else that I did not address or could do for her and her dog.  Once I was back in her line of sight she did not seem to have any problems with me.  Interesting again.

The next time a client tries to get to you, remember you have the power to turn things around by doing a very simple thing.  You can choose your thoughts.  Choose to be fascinated by the person or circumstance that you are experiencing.  Choose the emotion that you want to feel about them.  Is it, “Wow, that is an interesting take on what just happened here.” or “She is truly a demanding person, I wonder why?” or “I bet she has a difficult life, and just needs some love.”   Choose to remember that you are a rock star and there is no client behavior on the planet that can change your opinion of yourself or the amazing job that you do.

Dr. Julie Cappel