Goodbye Cruel Year

This year is almost over and I am really glad to see it go. I have so many negative emotions about the year 2020.  It started off OK, but quickly challenged us in so many ways.  Many friends and families have been challenged with job loss and the financial difficulties that come with unemployment.  Also, many have struggled with health challenges and even loss of loved ones. Whatever you have experienced this year, I think we can all agree that it has been one unusual year that we are happy to see in our rear view mirror.

2020 was difficult for all of us, but I also had some great things happen for me this year.  Good and bad is how life balance is designed. There were many difficulties experienced but also many opportunities for growth and change. When bad things happen in life it is difficult to see any positive, but you can work to train your mind to focus on things that you love and appreciate. 

This week, for example, I had most of my family together.  My parents are in Florida and we traveled there to visit them.  We rented a home, to stay at a distance, and then my children flew in from Dallas. We had a family gathering for the first time in a very long time.  My Mom planned an outdoor, masked up, picnic Christmas gathering to keep everyone safe and distanced - to not risk Covid exposure (as much as humanly possible).  It was amazing to see everyone together, even with the distance and masks.  It was a beautiful day that allowed me to be grateful for so many things. 

Things happen in our life, both good and bad.  Most of them are out of our control. Understanding that life is a mixture of positive and negative experiences, will help you to accept negative emotion. You will be unable to be happy unless you know sad, so pay attention to all of your emotions and do not fear them.  Once you accept both the negative and positive emotion, you will begin to look for things to appreciate about yourself and your life.

As the year ends and we move towards 2021, remember that you get to choose how to think about each day.  Starting each day with optimism and  excitement is a deliberate choice that you get to make. When things do not go the way that you planned, you get to decide whether to give up or get up.  

Start 2021 with gratitude and experience as your goals and things will start to happen for you. Happy New Year my friends!

Here’s to 2020 in the rear view mirror! 

Dr. Julie Cappel

I want to be more disciplined.

As an ENFJ in the Myers Briggs personality system, I have a tendency to wander, physically and mentally.   I love doing everything and I don’t want to miss anything.  That personality makes me a little unfocused.  I struggle with sticking to a task for more than an hour.  As I write this I am tempted to check my cell phone to see if anything is new on Instagram.  

I know this about myself and I work at being more disciplined every day.  It is like someone trying to quit a mild addiction  - I must continue to work at staying focused in order to achieve my goals and dreams. 

Time management is an illusion.  We need to manage ourselves, not our time.  I have the same amount of time as everyone else.  I may have less years in front of me than a 20 year old, but who really knows how long we each have left?  We have today, in this moment.

Discipline is the key to managing yourself and your time. How can we develop discipline? 

In his article, Three Keys to Developing Daily Disciplines, Todd Duncan lists - clarifying values, blocking time, and forming habits. I would add accepting failure and moving forward.

Clarifying values means that you must know yourself.  Spending time in self study and self love will allow you to truly understand exactly what is important to you.  If you don’t have a good grasp on your values and morals, you will have a difficult time prioritizing tasks to reach your goals.  Because I know that I am easily distracted and bored, I must schedule in breaks and variety to keep me focused. 

I love the idea of blocking time.  We do it in our veterinary hospitals giving 20, 40, or 60 minutes to each appointment.  I like giving myself a set amount of time for each task that I want to accomplish in a day (Including my breaks).  Planning my day first thing in the morning allows me to be more productive and disciplined than if I just “wing” it.  If left unscheduled, my brain will be wandering around wondering what to do next.  Maybe just get a snack and watch my show on Netflix.   That does not make me productive or disciplined. 

Once you get into a rhythm of planning your day, it will become a habit.  You must resolve to get the important things scheduled and done first in your day.  Your values will help you determine the things to put first on your list.   If you value your health above all else, you need to schedule your diet and exercise first.  They are your priority.  I set goals, outline steps, schedule things on my calendar, and vow to stick to it.  I have to set my timer and keep the phone on the other side of the table so I don’t pick it up and start scrolling through instagram.  

The last and final key is dealing with your failures.  I often set out to do something and get interrupted by something or someone.  I get distracted by something (I told you I struggle with focus),  my husband starts talking to me, the dogs need to go out, or the phone rings - it is one of my kids.  I drop everything when my kids or parents call.  When my plan does not go “as planned” I reschedule.  I leave a time block open in my day to do the thing that I was doing when I was interrupted - “the reschedule block”.  Giving up is not an option.  If I give up, I have lost.  Overcoming the disappointment that comes along with distraction and failure is my constant struggle. But if I listen to my friend Rocky, I will never indulge in my failures.

“Going in one more round when you don’t think you can. That’s what makes all the difference in your life.” – Rocky Balboa

If you struggle to be more focused and disciplined, like me, start today and vow to set some goals, examine your priorities, and get something on your schedule.  One small step will start you in the right direction to achieving your dreams. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“The most powerful decision you will ever make in productivity is building rhythm and routine around doing what matters most.” - Todd Duncan. 

Our attitude is always a work in progress.

Today I happen to be in Florida, away from the cold Michigan winter, enjoying the sunshine. I feel so lucky to have a break from work and weather.   I was able to walk my dogs, ride my bicycle, and sit outside in the warm Florida air. My attitude is great on a day like this!  

How can we create a great attitude even when things are not sunny and warm?

 

According to leadership author, John Maxwell, your attitude towards life is constantly being shaped by the following factors: personality, environment, self-image, exposure to new experiences, friendships, family, and financial security. Maxwell believes that your environment shapes you more than your personality or other inherited traits. Your actions and attitudes are a direct reflection of your self-image.

To create an ongoing positive attitude we need to work at it.  We know that negativity comes more naturally to most of us than positivity. It takes practice to train yourself to keep a great attitude.

Take responsibility for your language.  Some of us are more naturally programed to optimism.  Personality counts, but we all can go to a negative mindset. If you hear yourself start to complain about the weather, work, or another person, stop yourself and vow to speak kindly.  Changing the way you speak will start to train your brain towards more optimism. 

Be curious and continue learning.  Reading positive books, listening to positive podcasts, and finding positive friends to associate yourself with will help you fill your mind with more positive messages.  Attitude can be learned.

Create a positive daily routine for yourself. In order to create a new habit, you have to practice.  A routine of healthy habits and positive thinking will allow you to train yourself to see the bright side.  Your attitude is your responsibility, so remember that blaming the weather or other people is not productive.  

Whatever your day brings to you — sun or rain — your attitude is always a work in progress. 

Dr. Julie Cappel

“Whether you are eleven, forty-two, or sixty-five, your attitude toward life is still under construction. It’s never too late for a person to change his attitude.” - John Maxwell

F-ing Fabulous Failure

Yesterday I experienced failure. (Not my first time BTW.) It was a big fat epic failure that caused me to mentally beat myself up for hours.   I had all the human emotions;  anger, frustration, embarrassment, shame, and sadness. I felt so much anger towards myself and the crummy situation, and I should know better - I am a life coach after all. 

Here is what happened.  I had arranged a small group of veterinary professionals to record a podcast with me about dealing with curbside medicine, Covid-19, and life in veterinary medicine this past year.  Saturday, I had assembled the group of five veterinarians and veterinary technicians for a podcast recording over zoom. You see where this is going, right?

I have done many recordings this way in the past and have not had any trouble.  Saturday there was a little sound glitch in the beginning that caused me to make an adjustment, which in turn caused the podcast not to record properly.  One beautiful hour of work lost forever!  Not only did I waste my time and energy, I wasted the time and energy of 5 other beautiful generous people. It was so frustrating. 

How did I change my thinking about this failure and use it to move forward?

By knowing and accepting that failure is not personal.  I failed but I am not a failure. When we go into shame or blame mode, our little mistakes and failures feel so personal.  We give them too much power.  Once I processed my negative feelings - and it took a little time - I accepted that the recording was gone and I just needed to try again.

By thinking, this failure is temporary.  "I am fine, the veterinarians are fine, and things did not work out the way that I had planned".  My failure is temporary, and even if my brain is telling me that I am an idiot, I can choose to be grateful that the people were so kind to record with me once, they will probably be willing to do it again. 

I choose to remember that:

• Failure is uncomfortable, but I can handle it.
• Failure is something that I do, not something that I am.
• Failure is an opportunity for learning something that I didn’t know before. (Believe me, I learned something about this)
• Failure is temporary
• Failure is part of my journey. 

I will live on to record my podcast another day, if I choose to learn from my mistakes and accept my f-ing fabulous failure.

Dr. Julie Cappel

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” ― Thomas A. Edison