Breaking Free of your Past.

I spent way too much of my valuable time this week focusing on the past.  

It started with a coaching session that had me caught in a thought loop about my podcast and blog.  I was beating myself up about my lack of progress, my difficulty with time management, and how it was affecting my work.  I also had a long conversation with a colleague that took me back to a difficult situation in the past.  I spent hours focused on the worry that something similarly negative could happen again.

Intellectually I know that focusing on the past is not useful, so why does my brain do it?

We all have a way of focusing on things that happened in our past.  Especially those things that created strong emotions for us.  Our strong emotions cause us to remember detailed thoughts and feelings that we had when we were in our past situations.  We become attached to our past experiences because they feel familiar to us.  We indulge in the familiarity to avoid feeling the uncertainly of stepping into our future.

Why not hide in the past?

Because it keeps us from taking action towards a better future.

If you tell yourself that you are not doing as well as other people or you should have gotten more done today, you are going to feel negative and defeated.  If you focus on a negative circumstance from your past, you will feel worried and paralyzed in fear.  Those negative, worried and defeated feelings are going to make you less likely to take positive action. You will get into the habit of spinning in your thoughts and emotions and never move forward.

To have a fabulous life we need to take action towards creating a better future by letting go of the past. 

In order to start letting go of your past, you have to acknowledge that your past focus is holding you back.  If I continue to focus on my thoughts about my time management and my blog, I will spin in confusion and never get any writing done.  My past focus is stopping my future work. 

If you hold anger towards a client based on something negative that they said (in person or online), you are living in the past.  You are carrying that anger into each exam room with you. Acknowledge that, focusing on your past client’s comments is causing you to think and act differently around other clients.  Your past focus is robbing you of your future with your current clients.

Once you acknowledge that you are holding yourself back and punishing yourself, you can come up with a reason to move forward.  Your reason to move forward is your most important tool in keeping you committed to the “letting go of the past” process. You have to have a good strong mental reason for becoming future focused because your brain will want to challenge you.  Your brain will want you to stay in the past. 

You will need courage and effort to keep from slipping back into your past focused way.

Stay strong and break free from your past.

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” 
― Ann Landers

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” 
― Steve Maraboli

Dr. Julie Cappel